| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:57:49 PM | Is this a troll-op post? C'mon Amanda...
How to tell when he's playing you...
Message: Ok, so I started seeing this guy. He's a fire fighter and looks hot. Probably my first blunder. I don't understand some women's kink for firemen. Ok, he's a hot fireman. OP, did you tell him "wow u r so hot u make me weak in the knees"? It's likely he's a player and you're being played. Pretty much game set match right when you met him.
Anyways, we start going out and at the end of the night we end up back at his place. Every time we go out.. Um if the relationship is centered around sex, is it any wonder that is all that the hot fireman is thinking? Duh.
We've only gone out a couple of times before he started asking for pics, boobs, me in uniform yadayada... Let's see you have 1st date sex and this guy now needs boobie pics? Do you have any common sense??
He works one day on and two days off and the only day I really get to see him is the day after he works. It feels like he is keeping me at a distance and the whole point of being together is for sex. I need some advice, like really bad. Ok here's the advice: I suggest you don't tell the next hot fireman you that want to help him unfurl his hose. It's ok to have kinks, but if you wonder if your kink partner is just using you for sex, perhaps you avoid 1st date sex, or keep your kink to yourself until you get a better sense of what the dude's character is??? This ain't rocket science. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:00:50 PM | | For many men, 1st date sex is a representation of who you are and how the relationship will progress. For a neanderthal like him you would have had to play the vestal virgin for 6 months before he felt the need to treat you like a lady. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:45:12 PM | | Yes, He is playing you and you are letting him!! Let the guy go....he is looking for sex only...read your statement...YOU need to answer YOUR own personal question... | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:00:07 PM | OP,
I fail to see how he's "Playing You"
You end up at his place after every time you both GO OUT. Sounds to me like every date you've had with him was a nice one and going back to his place felt like the natural thing to do.
To me it sounds like you're inventing problems where there are none.
As for when you see him... what do you expect? Do you expect to see him when he's working? Do you expect him to quit is job and spend all his time fawning over you?
Pulllleaase... get real. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:05:30 PM | Ok so your seeing a hot firefighter good times. Now, how is that a blunder? I mean your already doubting yourself here. So if dude is wanting you to go back to his place EVERYTIME you go out, then its your responsibility to regulate girlfriend! You do have options ya know. You could refuse and say "good night" and go home. You don't have to go over his house. If you do then do it cause you want to. Don't trip on what others think cause that doesn't matter. The issue is you have no boundries for yourself and doubt your decision making abilities. We all have a CHOICE and you choose to go to his house. Take responsibility for yourself!! There is nothing necessarily wrong with going to dudes house, but its obvious your not content with that decision or you wouldn't be posting here.
He's asking for pics? Well again your choice in whether you want to or not. Now if your looking for something on the serious tip does this sound like someone who is looking for something real to you? I think you know the answer. You feel like he is keeping you at a distance because HE IS!! Its not rocket science. Your young Im wondering how old this dude is?
The thing you have to do is decide what you are looking for IE: a serious relationship, a hook up, or what have you. Take pride in your decisions but remember that all actions have reactions and consequences. The End.
Namaste | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:15:26 PM | I don't understand why everyone thinks he's a player? Because he has a healthy appetite for sex? Would you rather him not want you? Because he's hot????? That's nonsense...it's not his fault he's attractive.
Because he doesn't let you take over every second of his free time??? I mean, he gives you 1 of his 2 days off. That's not bad. It's early in your relationship so do you expect to live with him?
I think this is the case of the negative nellies telling you what they enjoy telling...
Not all men are players that like sex.
If he's with you, and only you, then that's a good start. If he's going out with you, then it's not just a booty call. If it ends in sex, then be happy that youf ound one w/a good libido.
And if you are troubled, then talk to him. Don't make demands, but tell him what you are feeling. Give him a chance before you write him off.
Good luck.. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:47:00 PM | pictures and boobs halted me right there.
nothing wrong with being there for the sex if that's all you both want, but seems to me you want more or you wouldn't be asking for advice, like really bad.
not all hot guys want only a roll in the hay, but the truth is, it is easier for them to get it because they are hot.
Ask yourself if you are getting what you want. If not, move on. | |
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KVASS
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Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 34 | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:51:46 PM | | OP....you get the first day he is off from work....what?????....does he do with the second day?? do you know how he spends that day?? or who with?? the pics are a NO....dont think he has hidden cameras if he is asking for pics from you....dont go there...not even if he wants to take them in person.....you didnt give us quite enough info....what kind of dates?? Cheap or Expensive....fast food or nice places to eat?? does he call when at work...or you only see and hear from him on his day off he gives you?? Any talk about the future?? Plans?? Dreams?? Is he only dating you...or someone else too?? If you like whats happening...and it happend right from the start....why change things....somehow sounds like you would like to change the options around a little in your favor....do so....if he wants you for more than a "good time", he will go along with the change...if not...he will disappear...all depends on what you want.....IMO.....:) | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:38:10 AM | How to tell when he's playing you...
When you get burned !.....Finding out he is happily in a relationship/married and only wants you for sex. Or finding out he only wants you for sex.
I think you have already seen the signs....you're just refusing to look at them. It happens to us all! | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:16:40 AM | This site's standard description for a guy like you've described is "player". In fact, from what I've figured, if a guy isn't ready to jump headfirst into a committed, full-time relationship he's a player.
A lot of people on this site use sex as a bargaining chip to get into a relationship. It's dangled like a carrot to entice someone into being a full-time partner. So many women I've chatted with on here have the notion you can negotiate and establish most every aspect of a relationship beforehand, before ever meeting. And, yes, sex is one of the subjects discussed and brought up in the negotiation process.
It may sound like I'm focusing on women by not mentioning guys but I don't chat with guys so my experience on here is based on the communication I've had with females. I've pretty much only approached those who have "dating" as their interest and the vast majority are really looking for the security of a partner. It's pretty obvious most seem afraid to be alone and without a partner.
For those looking for dating or long-term, this site is a playground and everyone is a player. The only difference is what each person wants.
Your 2nd sentence is "He's a fire fighter and looks hot". So, it seems you're impressed with the firefighter-type (and whatever stereotype image you associate with that) and you consider him "hot" which I take to mean physically. Aren't you a player who's looking for a certain type of person with a certain type of appearance?
From what you describe, he has interests too and, while they may not align exactly with yours, they're in the same ballpark.
My advice? Just tell him you're really on this site because you want a partner and intimacy isn't a priority or an interest of yours. You want to be seen with him because he's "hot" and tell people you're with a "firefighter".
Good luck | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:33:11 AM | He might not be a player. I dont know him to say so, but the fact he is asking for naked pics of her. She is going to his apartment on the first date and sleeping with him. This would make me think he might have a camera in his apartment. I would be careful if I was you, that could just be an apartment he is renting. He might be married with a house, you just met the guy.  | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:35:16 AM | {What is wrong with you women? Relationships aren't all about talking and having fun together and having your emotional needs met. That's all you care about. What is wrong with you?}
There's more truth to that then you realize! Most just wont admit it. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:40:57 AM | | Did you say he is working, then he has two days off and he is spending one of them with you? That's actually pretty often to be getting together if you haven't known him very long!! My question is, when you get together, are you spending time together doing other things or is he showing up, hanging out for two hours, doing the deed and then leaving? If that's the case, then you're a booty call. If he is actually making time to hang out with you 1/2 of his time off I don't think you have any reason to complain. IMHO. But I'm with an above poster...Do Not, Do Not, Do Not EVER allow him to have naked pics or video of you! Ever! If he wants to watch, rent a porno or pull up a mirror! | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:21:43 AM | OP; I think the fact you posted this thread means you already know what advise you're going to get. You just want to hear it from other people, because you are avoiding wanting to hear it from yourself.
You already know he's playing you. The question is, what if anything, are you going to do about it?
Only you can answer that question :)
Best of luck.
(my advice is to turn the question around and answer it as if you are reading the question and answering it for someone else. Whatever you'd tell them honestly to do, do it yourself)... | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:29:56 AM |
How to tell when he's playing you...
Message: I think you should propose marriage - right away in fact.
This is very poor advice. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:47:25 PM | Well.
There's another option these people haven't thought of.
You want to spend more time with him and all.
Move into the fire house!
That's right. You'll spend plenty of quality time together.
Putting out fires, making some.
The other firefighters might mind a little.
Just ignore them.
Bwuahaahahahaha!!!! | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:18:00 PM |
He works one day on and two days off and the only day I really get to see him is the day after he works. It feels like he is keeping me at a distance and the whole point of being together is for sex.
What's funny about threads like this is that a member will give a tiny bit of information, and then open the floor for comments, as if we can see into the mind of her SO with x-ray like clarity.
OP: you've given us absolutely nothing to be able to advise you. What you've given us is that he (at least sometimes) sees you on one of his two days off. That would pan out to about twice a week, give or take, if he consistently sees you on that day after his shift. If so, that sounds like a normal dating routine. You haven't told us if he has kids that he also spends time with on his days off. You haven't told us how long you've been dating, or if there have been any conversations about commitment or exclusivity. You haven't told us if he travels or has time-consuming hobbies (hunting, fishing) which would explain him being gone a lot. Do you really want an honest opinion? Then you need to flesh out this story a little more.
The dude sounds normal to me. Why would he see you every single day he has off? Probably has chores and errands to run like most people, and if you two are not committed, then he might be dating other women, as well. There is nothing wrong with that if you two aren't exclusive. That doesn't make him a player.
If you haven't discussed these things with him, then it's time to start. Let him know where you see the relationship going and find out what he wants from it, and then work something out. Quit asking for opinions from total strangers to whom you're not giving the whole story.   | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:32:09 PM | I don't understand why everyone thinks he's a player?
Most people don't really know what a player is. It just sounds good to label men they dislike for whatever reason as such. "He dumped me! He must be a player!" "He loves sex! He must be a player!" "He has female friends! He must be a player!" etc and etc...
It's not unlike the word "theory" - one of the most misused terms there is - as it applies to dating and love. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/22/2009 12:51:23 PM | If dating is a game, then WE ARE ALL PLAYERS. And just like baseball, some of us have a better average and hit more home runs than others.
You're likely a booty call. Roll with it or break it off. | |
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ceoil
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Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 47 | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:45:16 PM | He's not playing you!! You're playing him by pretending to be fine with the current arrangement and not letting him know what you want! Get some balls (not his this time) and decide what you want. There's lots of hot men to choose from ~ right here on POF.
PS ~ If you decide to let him have the photos ~ you might as well post them on the internet yourself. Then you won't have to wonder next year where they are now. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 2:17:44 AM | Is he holding a gun to your head while you're ending up in his place and opening your legs ?
Nobody is playing nobody here... It's called consensual adult relationship. | |
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