| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 2:17:44 AM | Is he holding a gun to your head while you're ending up in his place and opening your legs ?
Nobody is playing nobody here... It's called consensual adult relationship. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 10:37:36 AM | | Drop the guy already. He's using you for his own gratification and you know it, this will go on for as long as you allow it or until he gets tired of you or finds someone else. In my observations, the fastest way to lose a guy is by sleeping with him right away and letting him use you for sex--with no consequences. A man who respects a woman is going to spend time getting to know you from the neck up; and will commit time, energy and whatever it takes to spend time with you. The writing is on the wall. Time to move on, life is too short :) | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 10:40:24 AM | He's playing you like a fiddle, and you're letting him....
Save sex for three or four DATES? Are you kidding me? What about three or four months?? You have to be at most jobs at least that long before getting benefits because the employer needs that long to decide if you're a good fit for the position. If you're looking for a life partner - isn't that position at least as important as a job?? | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 10:45:55 AM | Well, he isn't necessarily playing you -- he's setting up boundaries that it's not going to be serious. You do say, every time you go out you end up at his place. Okay, it's not just about the sex -- just about the sex would be a booty call. You're at least going out, and you are seeing him half the days he's not working. That's not that bad when you're "start to see a guy"... many times guys AND girls like to keep the other person at a certain distance when they just start seeing someone who has more interest than they do!
That said, if you think sex is too much is focal point, be cool about it and bring it up. Don't be accusatory -- guys don't like the anti-man stuff, or guilt for liking the sex. Who knows -- you could have been ALL about the sex just as much as he has because he's a "hot fire fighter". Just ask him to be on the same page and what he's looking for, and you should get a better feel for things! And if his focus is too much on keeping things as a casual dating situation, and you want more, you can set up boundaries yourself (if you have the will power)! | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:03:03 AM | | lol he asks for boob and uniform pics. he's exactly what every woman would call a creep on POF but the only difference is he is actually attractive so what's with the double standard here. if he was ugly and asked for boob pics and sex, you'd say hell naw dawg. if he was attractive and asked for boob pics and sex, you'd say HELL YEA DAWG! these women are just like one of the guys, it's really cool because we'd do the exact same thing. It's about time women started doing what men do but please don't go overboard and start thinking you'll get a relationship out of it. OP keep having sex with him, that's all men ask for seriously. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:08:38 AM | OP: Read what you wrote, and pretend someone else authored this. What do you think he's doing????????????
It's called a FWB.
P.S. Definitely not called him "playing" you. You are consenting to this type of arrangement...........when you do go out - DO NOT end the date at his place having sex. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:16:26 AM | | I'm sure this will be the same OP that will come back later and post a profile with the following things in it: "No players", "Where are all the good men?" "If you're looking to just get laid, keep looking", "I don't do cam or naked pics", "I have a 3 month old who is my life", "Are all guys after only one thing?" etc.... | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:38:18 AM |
Save sex for three or four DATES? Are you kidding me? What about three or four months?? You have to be at most jobs at least that long before getting benefits because the employer needs that long to decide if you're a good fit for the position. If you're looking for a life partner - isn't that position at least as important as a job??
I say that you should take Missainva's advice a step further... Wait 3-4 months??? Pfft... If you did that in Victorian times, you'd be viewed as a Harlot.
No... wait even longer still... put it off to retirement... so don't have sex until both of you are at least 55.
After all, no employer or government let's you draw on your retirement benefits before 55.
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:58:12 AM | | i just assume all men are players...i really don't think about it because are men really good for anything else but sex...the picture thing is way over the top...that is so demeening ...i would dump him for that. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:09:06 PM | startle,
i just assume all men are players...i really don't think about it because are men really good for anything else but sex
By that rationale, you have become a player yourself. :) | |
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LBA26
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Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 60 | |
| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/10/2009 3:45:24 PM |
We've only gone out a couple of times before he started asking for pics, boobs, me in uniform yadayada...
put an apple in his mouth, stick a fork in him and it's done.
what more advice do you need? | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:11:33 PM | If you think he's playing you, then he probably is. What more advice do you really need?
Hmmm, btw it looks like somebody has been around the block more than a fewtimes. And no Im not talking about the OP...LOL | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:47:31 PM | Hi Amanda 423,
I really do have to answere yes to your question. But we've all made this mistake. Luckily I learned this one early, not to say I didn't make alot of other dumb mistakes. Guys think differently than we do, obviously and the harder you are to get the more valuable you are in their eyes. They don't think like we do that he's really special, that's why you're making love with him so soon. If you don't play hard to get ( way hard to get) he'll just use you plus probably think you're cheap or easy. Yeh it's not fair and it border's on "playing games" but it works!!
I"ll give you one of my personal examples to prove it works to play so hard to get you drive them crazy. Oh and if they dump you after your first date and you don't put out there's your answere. Also the hot ones are usually just that, spoiled. Anyway back to my personal experience and this is one of many. I lifted wts. for many years, was a fitness model but just for fun. I met a guy at the gym who literally had girls throwing themselves at him. Personally I didn't think his face was in the 'hot' category but of course his body was. We started going out and right away I knew financially he was marginal. I wasn't looking for some one to support me, I was doing very well on my own. But I did want some one who could support himself. My first dumb mistake. I had an absolutely beautiful 2 bd. apt and I let him move in. Girls were still throwing themselves at him but I let him know that if he fooled around on me once he was gone. We we sleeping in the same bed and I mean sleeping.He'd wrap himselp around me and off to sleep we went. After a couple weeks I explained that I really liked him but that I was old fashioned and believed on really getting to know some one inside and out before you became intimate. That you had to be best friends before you could be lovers. He was fine with that. He had been getting so much that a little down time was no big deal for him. And I knew he kept he end of the agreement,I won't go into that.
My only regret is just about the time I started kind of seeing this guy another guy started comming around. We nick named 'Alex the Beautiful' He was a personal trainer, he was in all the Muscle&Fitness etc. magazines and he was self supporting. But stupid me let his beautiful face scare me away. He ended marrying a girl who could have been my double. Extremely stupid mistake #2
So I slept (as in snoring) for appx. 3 months with my boyfriend. My girlfriend finally talked me into doing something. Eventually I came to the obvious fact that he was a lazy, opportunist. So I'm far from perfect but the intimacy angle I learned young, maybe because my Grandfather was from the south and I was brought up to be a Lady. And believe me this works I've got my guy over girls way prettier than me many a time.
Amanda I so very very sorry you got hurt this way but you've got to be strong and dump him now. You could cancel a few dates at the last minute and then not answere your phone for 3 or 4 days. The more times you stand up for yourself and not accept demeaning behavior the better you'll feel about yourself and the easier it will be. We sister's must stick together and some day the men will realize the rules have changed!! I love men but I'll go without before I let some one mistreat me. It's not emotionally healthy for either party. All the best finding your Prince Charming, just don't settle for any one who doesn't treat you like the Princess you are, Sincerely illiana:down | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:50:25 PM | Hi Amanda 423,
I really do have to answere yes to your question. But we've all made this mistake. Luckily I learned this one early, not to say I didn't make alot of other dumb mistakes. Guys think differently than we do, obviously and the harder you are to get the more valuable you are in their eyes. They don't think like we do that he's really special, that's why you're making love with him so soon. If you don't play hard to get ( way hard to get) he'll just use you plus probably think you're cheap or easy. Yeh it's not fair and it border's on "playing games" but it works!!
I"ll give you one of my personal examples to prove it works to play so hard to get you drive them crazy. Oh and if they dump you after your first date and you don't put out there's your answere. Also the hot ones are usually just that, spoiled. Anyway back to my personal experience and this is one of many. I lifted wts. for many years, was a fitness model but just for fun. I met a guy at the gym who literally had girls throwing themselves at him. Personally I didn't think his face was in the 'hot' category but of course his body was. We started going out and right away I knew financially he was marginal. I wasn't looking for some one to support me, I was doing very well on my own. But I did want some one who could support himself. My first dumb mistake. I had an absolutely beautiful 2 bd. apt and I let him move in. Girls were still throwing themselves at him but I let him know that if he fooled around on me once he was gone. We we sleeping in the same bed and I mean sleeping.He'd wrap himselp around me and off to sleep we went. After a couple weeks I explained that I really liked him but that I was old fashioned and believed on really getting to know some one inside and out before you became intimate. That you had to be best friends before you could be lovers. He was fine with that. He had been getting so much that a little down time was no big deal for him. And I knew he kept he end of the agreement,I won't go into that.
My only regret is just about the time I started kind of seeing this guy another guy started comming around. We nick named 'Alex the Beautiful' He was a personal trainer, he was in all the Muscle&Fitness etc. magazines and he was self supporting. But stupid me let his beautiful face scare me away. He ended marrying a girl who could have been my double. Extremely stupid mistake #2
So I slept (as in snoring) for appx. 3 months with my boyfriend. My girlfriend finally talked me into doing something. Eventually I came to the obvious fact that he was a lazy, opportunist. So I'm far from perfect but the intimacy angle I learned young, maybe because my Grandfather was from the south and I was brought up to be a Lady. And believe me this works I've got my guy over girls way prettier than me many a time.
Amanda I so very very sorry you got hurt this way but you've got to be strong and dump him now. You could cancel a few dates at the last minute and then not answere your phone for 3 or 4 days. The more times you stand up for yourself and not accept demeaning behavior the better you'll feel about yourself and the easier it will be. We sister's must stick together and some day the men will realize the rules have changed!! I love men but I'll go without before I let some one mistreat me. It's not emotionally healthy for either party. All the best finding your Prince Charming, just don't settle for any one who doesn't treat you like the Princess you are, Sincerely illiana:down | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/11/2009 5:30:54 AM | | It sounds like he's seeing you on the best day of his week. You need to remember that his profession is very dangerous and he has to stay focused so he can't get into a lot of text messages and romantic phone calls. If what he's giving you isn't enough, maybe choosing a firefighter isn't for you. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/12/2009 10:58:31 PM | Your Subject line itself should be first your clue. Turn it around and state it out-loud as a matter of fact and not as a question ...and then reread your own post~ but not in the form of questions, but as if reading it as a guide and/or seeing it as "this is what happens if/when you are being played" ...and then you'll have your answer. 
Sorry... This fireman friend of yours is not looking for a LTR. He is looking for sex, and sex alone. You provide that, therefore he keeps you around on his terms.
You have two options. #1) Refuse to be his sex toy (trust me he'll vanish quickly) and save yourself future heartache. Or #2) Just keep him around for the awesome hot sex he provides you. But please please please make sure if you decide upon being his booty call, that he indeed always wraps that hose of his! (again sorry, had to toss that last one in...after all, I am a Nurse) 
Good luck. | |
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| How to tell when he's playing you...
Posted: 9/12/2009 11:07:15 PM | After reading three pages of comments.....you should have plenty of advice now. Sounds as though you took the ole fireman's hose based on his appearance alone. Maybe you will have learned something from this experience and you won't be repeating it anytime soon...unless of course you want the hose to keep putting out your fire.  | |
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