| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:22:04 AM | | My children are in a summer camp, and the one time they got sick, I took a ten minute break and started the calls. Call everyone and anyone that does not have a daytime job. Yes your boss is kind of on the right track, you must have a Plan A, B, C, and even a D. I have a list of babysitters for this reason. I am not saying you should have called someone to be with your child while he was in the hospital but it could have maybe been avoided with having these other options in place. Daycare is a nasty dirty place for kids lol it's worse than the ball room at McDonald's, but this is life. I can only suggest giving your kids vitamins and giving them a strict healthy diet with lots of vegetables, fruits and whole grains, plenty of water. Stay away from giving them junk food and this will boost their immunities, trust me I had to give my kids an overhaul and educate all of us on the benefits of eating right, exercize, and plenty of rest. I give my children Vitamin C everyday too which is proven to keep sickness at bay. Good Luck, you can do it, you just have to investigate all areas of resources that are available, and you cannot say there is none available because there is always a responsible teenager that wants to make money if the going gets really tough. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:29:43 AM | Lot's of good suggestions here.
Just one more to add. If it were me, I would be actively looking for another job, where the environment is a hell of lot more realistic and supportive of the ins and outs of being a parent. Not saying that you should get special treatment, but there's no way I'd be putting up with the crap you're copping from your colleagues.
It might take months or more, but IMHO it would be well worth it to be working somewhere you are not made to feel like some bludging layabout for doing what simply has to be done sometimes. Goodness only knows you enough on your plate without putting up with that sort of ignorance at work.
Sometimes just a change in attitude and environment, without there being any material change in the circumstances can make a world of difference as to how you cope. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:08:40 AM | Sorry, I was in the middle of reposting this to the end of my last post and got side-tracked past the 15 minute mark.
Herb Kelleher, founder and long-time CEO of Southwest Airlines, the only airline that was operating in the black after 9/11 and has continued to do so had this theory. When people asked him what his greatest responsibility as CEO was, to the customers or the stockholders, he said neither, it is the employees. If the employees are happy, the customers are happy, they become loyal, and the stockholders are consequently going to be happy. Whether it was a pilot, manager or baggage handler, he would interview as many people as possible (often more than 100) to get the right PERSON in that job. The company has one of the lowest turnover rates in the industry and probably among many industries. Southwest employees are the type of people that go the extra mile, and Kelleher put his money where his mouth was.
If an employee made a mistake, the only thing that was important was making the customer happy and the employee wouldn’t be dressed down for the action they took to correct the problem even if the problem was their fault and the solution cost the company money. You were as likely to find Kelleher helping out the baggage handlers as sitting in his office; his employees loved him and that’s why they worked as hard as they did, they were treated like people. When employees had a marriage, birth, death, these were formally acknowledge by at least one member of management and if I remember correctly, they also were not called management because in that company, the concerns of all employees were treated equally. When his 3rd shift employees complained that they were not there for the company parties, etc., he set up the bar-b-que for them himself on their shift. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:17:07 AM |
Stay away from giving them junk food and this will boost their immunities, trust me I had to give my kids an overhaul and educate all of us on the benefits of eating right, exercize, and plenty of rest. I give my children Vitamin C everyday too
Very true... I took my kids off cereals except as an addon after they ate... or a snack... for example... breakfast was always a cooked homemade nutritious meal before school.... (It only took a few extra minutes with planning.... ) going from cereals to proper meals saw a huge jump in school marks, and overall health.... Junk food (McDonald's was a once in a blue moon food source...usually on long trips etc...) was almost totally rules out.... | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:01:51 AM | I know what you are feeling I had to give up a good job do to the fact that my son was diagnosed with autism and I kept having to call in sick even the head supervisor at my work kept telling me to let him know what they could do to help but that didnt help on the pressure I got from my direct supervisors,
But I finally decided if I could take a cut in pay get a less stressful job and still make it being able to be 100% available was the most important so maybe you should think on pursuing a different career I am at that point right now because I don't want to leave my son screaming if I don't have to but I also want to provide well for them!!! | |
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tass08
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Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 31 | |
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:30:55 AM |
Sorry, I was in the middle of reposting this to the end of my last post and got side-tracked past the 15 minute mark. You sure spend a lot of time writing longwinded posts here. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:38:54 PM | They may be long winded but I don't spend much time on them at all, you are welcome to read or skip. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:35:48 PM | | Would your mother potentially be interested in watching the children for the money that you're currently paying the childcare facility? If it is anywhere near what she is making by going to work full time each week, she might be willing to take that on. If she is doing it for health insurance, that is obviously another issue, but making a little less and being able to spend more time with her grandchildren might be enticing. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:26:52 PM | I too have been where you are, been forced to self-medicate my sick kids and pray that I made it at least part way through the day before that phone call came in, etc. Driven myself crazy with guilt for doing so. Driven myself crazy with fear of losing my job due to taking so much time off. (Actually did lose one job over it.)
You get through it. I positively hate that saying, as it's rather dismissive, but you will. You will get through it.
If you're not on a childcare subsidy, it might be possible to find an unlicensed in-home childcare provider who will accept your children when they're not feeling well. One coworker has such an arrangement. Granted, if her child is sicker than sick, she'll call in to work. But for fever due to teething, allergy colds, and so forth, her provider will just deal with it on her own vs. calling.
If you are on a childcare subsidy, well, I recognize how limited you probably are in options. You have to go with licensed or certified in order to get the subsidy, and they're all sticklers when it comes to even the slightest illness (not really their fault either -- state licensing regs). Still, I've found that some are better than others at not getting all bent out of shape over the littlest of things. Some will recognize that hey, it's just an allergy cough. Some will even show mercy and allow your child back in under the 24 hours.
Another thought not previously mentioned: check with your case worker and see if they have any ideas for you on sick childcare options. I learned of a very unique option in my area -- not from my case worker but rather from my local childcare referral agency. There was a program for low income people (you had to be quite low income, unfortunately I qualified at that time). A CNA would come to your home to watch your sick child for you. Free. It was a program funded privately, not through any government program. I used it on several occasions. It was rather hit and miss as to if they could locate a CNA for you. Sometimes I had no choice but to call into work. But overall, did it ever save my butt! I'm eternally grateful. Truly. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:16:33 AM | | when my daughter was in daycare i had a ministers wife who would watch her from 5-7am everyday then drop her at daycare but she use to watch her for me when she was too sick for daycare... i would check the churches even if your not religious (im not but this women was a blessing to us lol good luck. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:51:53 AM | packagedealx3 I know I could email this to you, but putting it out here I think is a better idea. You are ALWAYS thoughtful and helpful on the threads. You are one of the good people on POF that give honest thought out advice.
I thought it was an excellent post.
My daughter is 13. I chose not to return to a job when I found out I was pregnant with her. I used to work an hour drive from home. I spent at minimum 11 hours away from home a day. I was in management. I had horrible stress. I am not the best mother, but I do think I became a better one once I had my stress relieved. Some jobs aren't worth your children's health. It is a shame that employers don't look at studies and become more flexible to fill their employee needs, not wants.
I know how difficult it is to get a job right now. Really have been trying to get back in the market myself. I won't have benefits as of 12/13, and economy has decreased my sales. OP, keep your eyes out for something that would be a better fit for you. Know that the fact that you posted here does mean you are trying to do your best. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:38:30 PM | Please check into the EEOC. They maybe be able to help you. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:45:23 PM | I went through the same thing when mine were little even with a female boss. Even with the youngest at age 11 now , I had to ask her HS age brother to miss a day of school this year when she was ill. My company had a 20% lay off that week and implemented a new computer system. It was chaos and I had a company meeting I had to attend. I went in a late stayed late, but felt guilty for weeks. I let down my kids and needed to keep a job.
It sucks, when you have no backup or other parent to pick up the slack. I have no real suggestions but one day you will be the Mom of teens and there will be a young Mom in your office that needs time off. Pray you remember what it was like.
I have not had a vacation or time off in three years that was not kid related. Every day the company gives me goes to children's illness, activities or Drs appointments. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:10:46 PM | | I am a single mom to a 3 year old girl. I am currently blessed with a wonderful workplace full of moms, who all seem to understand when she gets sick, I have to go. She used to catch everything under the sun (pneumonia tiwce, croupe 8 times - all before the 18 month mark - her lungs arent good). Her first daycare was a nightmare in and of itself. The daycare she's in now is AMAZING. If switching daycares is an option, I would look into it. If she starts burning up thru the day, they'll call me to see if it's ok that they give her some tylenol to bring it down and they'll let her rest. I've only been asked to go pick her up once in the year that she's been there, and thats with all the snotty noses she's gone to daycare with. They know when she's not feeling well. I don't have a plan B or C because like you, OP, I am A thru Z. If she leaves, I leave. It's hard!! I have no other income besides my own either (no child support - nothing), so I understand the importance of not missing any work. Unless someone has been in our shoes, it's really hard for them to understand. Hang in there!! | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:16:58 PM | | Heres a thought... Stop smoking. Maybe your kids won't get sick so often. | |
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| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:43:20 PM | ok I read most of the postings. i want you to check into your HR policies specifically FMLA when a child gets sick more then a certain amount of days in an instance you can use FMLA and I think it is in all states and i know my girlfriend has a son with asthema and she got it approved now if he gets an attack she uses FMLA and not her sick time. sorry I am not an HR expert but if you do some research it may help you out.
also daycares are really hurting for kids and some are closing their doors and a lot of them are lowering their rates. find one who understands you are a single mom and cannot take off work for coughing and colds but if it is a high fever or vomitting you would keep him home ....it works for me as I wasnt going to get calls for every little thing cause they dont want to do their job either. change day cares start interviewing on weekends. good luck i hope this helps.
i am a single mom and mine is 2 now and it is hard working full time with no family help i have been there and still there. | |
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