| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:48:46 PM | Trouble with all of these questions and criteria is that each one divides the population by eliminating the people who do not correspond to the "right" answer. Take smoking, for instance. Selecting non-smoking eliminated every smoker. Then there is age, shutting out another gang or the non-smokers. Then there are height, weight, religion, type of relationship, employment status, marital status, "smarts", and drugs, all of which compound against the available crowd to further limit chances. All that is just the basic profile selections.
Once you add in a few other things, if you do the mathematic, you will quickly realize that the entire world does not have a large enough population to leave anybody left to connect with.
And people wonder why they can't find love.....:) | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:49:26 PM | Not want ing children means no more new babies.
Children at home already born are ok. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:18:36 PM | "And people wonder why they can't find love.....:)"
That is your take on this.
My take on this is the people who know what won't work for them are smart not to rush into a bad relationship that will crash and burn because they settled for someone with things that didn't work for them. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:29:45 PM | I'm thinking that the right answer is whatever they decide it is,,,
The only way someone knows what their favorite food is, is by trying different foods. I know, poor metaphor but, the only way you will know what the right answer is for each persons profile is by trying,,, ask them exactly what they mean by their choice under that category,,, if it doesn't coincide with yours, say thanks for the info and try again until you find the one that agrees with what you're looking for,,, | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:42:20 PM | Does not want children means does not want children..by birth, adoption, borrowing, stealing no means no. If you have kids, you are not going to give them to her, so if you need more of an explanation she's not the right one for you.
If she feels strongly about not dating someone who has children it will say so in the profile.
Don't over-complicate it, just read the profiles.
If the answer you receive does not match her profile, then she is politely rejecting you.
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:58:02 PM | Every response will rule someone out; it will also rule some people in. Since it's not possible to date 10 million people that's a good thing. But truth is, for many of the answers, you'll just have to ask: the field is too small.
But for instance, I smoke, and my hunny doesn't. Thing is, he doesn't *care* -- he's both said so directly and I have observed the same in person. So what *could* be a ruler, isn't. Works that way pretty much for each possible response. NOTHING is going to relieve us of doing the work ourselves, ya see? Bummer, eh?
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:15:05 PM | | If in doubt, ASK! I'm past child bearing age, but if I met someone I liked that had kids at home, that would be ok with me. And I would Not run in opposite direction if they mentioned adopting an older child. I don't smoke and don't want to date a 'regular' smoker, but would consider 'occasional'. You just have to ask, don't assume. If you see a person you like, don't assume. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:07:47 PM | Would someone kindly start this thread on my behalf.
Apparently a few of you ganged up on me earlier in the week...guess you found me a threat, obviously I'm not one.
tia
Topic Heading...
20/30 Pics Instead of Written Profiles
...Since >90% of everyone's written profile is universal, so therefore redundant, how about self portrait pics instead?
Written communication follows, naturally and the Forums format does not change either.
Examples of pics could be...
...+65 year old man in his speedo hanging out with 35 year old women on the beach.
...Woman in full leather regalia seeking her muse?
...Kitchen with oversized Popcorn Popper
...Room stacked to the ceiling with hardback novels.
... Person standing beside his collectible car or motorcycle collection.
...Person/Master with five dogs or cats.
...Person wearing body belt full of explosives with a keffiyeh on his head or she wearing a barka.
(Just a few simple examples.)
What pics would you be attracted to?
What pics would you find unatractive?
What pics would you place in your profile?
tia
UM | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:11:04 PM | ^^^ Sounds like posting a red herring/troll.
Most people get the concept of the right answer..........ie. asking the individual.
Others live in their own worlds and figure they are in change of ours. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:56:52 PM | Sorry me leona, I'm being idiotic. It's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
Not idiotic, unless that equals me being punchy on a Friday afternoon! Never even heard of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, does that make me idiotic, even though I DID hitchhike a few times in my life years ago, I think that's idiotic these days (at least in the USA) So I guess "blue" must have to do with that too... somehow I knew you didn't really want 42 kids. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:39:49 AM | ForumFilly,
My response ('Prefer Not To Say').....is because.......
I didn't really understand the question. (moraima, it was a real question)
I'm an idiot (if you want to call me that)......and maybe I do spend too much time worring about the "WRONG ANSWER."
I don't want to be called a "LIER." And, I figured that the wrong answer was gonna AUTOMATICALLY mean........."rejection" without even a chance to explain (read rearguard2's take on the subject).
ME........I can't have anymore children (Big V).......I have an 11 year old son (that lives w/ me, I have full custody). But, I don't mind if my "special someone" had children........over or under 18.
Aloha, Mark | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:49:55 AM | | Just check not sure and then explain in your profile what YOU want or will accept. Don't put down an answer you think women want to hear, put down what you want...if you want kids of your own, say so. If you don't but will accept hers, say so. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:53:44 AM | I've learned from the little correspondence I HAVE had with women on here, along with reading profiles that go into more detail, that you just need to ask very soon after you meet to get it all cleared up. I've seen posts in the forum that suggest the site-master create more options to pick, but it really isnt necessary. People have a huge place to specifically spell out what they want and dont want. Just use whole sentences to make your preferences clear.
The COMMON interpretation (for all of you women out there to know) by most men is that if a woman puts
Does not want children = I dont want to get pregnant anymore, I'm done having babies
Prefer not to say/Undecided open = I'm still hoping to have more children, even if I AM 50
Ladies please note. If you are truly on here to meet a man, instead of engaging in fantasy online faux-dating-for-attention, you really need to specify some greater clarity in your profile. The obfuscation will scare some men off, or have us say "What is she THINKING?" when we read it.
OP, your question is a valid one. I believe that people need to ask more questions when meeting someone new. Online dating sites are not much different than offline meeting places with the exception that you get to see certain traits OTHER than raw physical attraction before venturing out with a "Hello". The written word is a powerful indicator of a person's intellect, articulation and their ability to express a short bio about themselves withOUT the pressure of being grilled on a first date. It can make the whole first date thing a lot more enjoyable for both of you. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:56:45 AM | imene2,
It's NOT about putting down what someone else wants to hear. For me, it's about TRUTH and not being a LIER.
Ok......I couldn't find "not sure"...........so, I just changed it to, "undecided/open."
And, I'll also put more in the profile.
Thanks and Aloha, Mark | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:13:44 PM | 1kindman4u said...........
"The COMMON interpretation (for all of you women out there to know) by most men is that if a woman puts
Does not want children = I dont want to get pregnant anymore, I'm done having babies
Prefer not to say/Undecided open = I'm still hoping to have more children, even if I AM 50"
Not saying that you're wrong or right.............
But, as another guy.......I was thinking that IF a woman posted..........
Does not want children = I don't want to take care of ANY children. YOURS or YOU (if you think I'll be your mother).
Prefer not to say or Undecided/Open = I think I can.......IF, it means THAT MUCH.
LOL.
But, who knows what or how the oppsite sex (men or women) really thinks?
Aloha, Mark | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:18:52 PM |
Ok......I couldn't find "not sure"...........so, I just changed it to, "undecided/open."
And, I'll also put more in the profile. Great. The possibilities to check things on the profile lists is limited. An honest, straightforward description of what you're about and what you want is best. Not what you think others want to hear, but what is true for you.
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:21:27 PM |
Does not want children = I dont want to get pregnant anymore, I'm done having babies
Prefer not to say/Undecided open = I'm still hoping to have more children, even if I AM 50 That is the most common interpretation.
When I dated, if a man had undecided, I passed him by. I passed him by because he should know by this age if he does or doesn't and if there is any possibility he still wanted to have kids, he wasn't for me! | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:23:30 PM | | I knew a guy who was 51 but put 46 on his profile, had never had children and put "undecided/open." I know the only reason he said that is because he was willing to date women with children but didn't really want, nor could he ever handle, any of his own. He was much too selfish. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:33:13 PM | ammazzed and Me Leona,
Exactly.
Yes.....there are some wishy washy people and liers out there. I don't want to be one of them.
How one reads it......and the answer one gets........will be skewed by personal experiences.
And........as it was pointed out..........automatic rejection (is always a possibility).
Like I said........I've had the "Big V." But, there wasn't a selection choice for that.
Nor do I think that there should be a selection for "The Big H" (for women).
Undecided/Open........yes, it sounds like I should have an opinion/idea (at my age). And, I do.
But, I shouldn't have to post that I've had the "Big V" to make things so crystal clear either. I figure, my medical history is more for me and that "special someone."
Aloha, Mark | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:23:31 PM | Different people, I ass-u-me have different reasons for their interpretation of the sometimes ridiculous quantification's available in such questionnaire's. (I get paid by the syllable)
For instance, under the body type, I put "Average" because "pregnant supermodel" was not an option....
I do, always, interpret "doesn't" want children" as "doesn't want any more children". Although , to some, it may mean "I don't want you if you *have* children", I suppose.
I chose"other relationship" in that category because I mainly was trying to get an ID to post here. Also, although I'm not really looking, if there was a woman whom I found likable was silly enough to think I might be suitable, I would not be adverse to the idea. 
I have tried to glean what others meant by reading these forums, but, still, I'm not sure there *is* a right answer.
...and, Miss FFS
regarding post 16? ...an Adams fan? ...sigh..another reason for my unrequited, unobtainable love.... | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:31:21 PM | My profile states that I don't have children and I don't want children. I also put in my profile "I really don't have a type, but we probably won't get along if you have kids under the age of 18". Does it narrow my dating pool? You bet - even at my age! | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:49:22 PM | | I think there should be a stop that you can tell how many kids you have and their ages. It would save a lot of time. There are too many people on here with way too many kids! | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:00:32 AM | "The TRUTH, Helen, is always the right answer." -Amon Goethe, Schindler's List
This is directed at females, but I'm bored, so I'll answer anyway.
1) Do you want children?
No, unless I become money AND time-rich, which doesn't look like it's going to happen.
2) Do you have children?
No.
I love kids, but they do require a LOT of time, energy and money to raise. And the first 3 years per kid of poopy diapers doesn't sound too appealing. But kids are a lot of fun. They're little sponges who soak up everything you say like gospel. | |
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| What's the RIGHT answer?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:02:20 PM | Dude..
Okay, chances are GREAT that if a woman is over 45, she doesn't want any children.
I think the question might be, do you want children? If you do, then go younger man. | |
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