| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:14:00 PM | He calls ALL the time. He seems great. We meet!
It means it is doomed to fail.
[Here's an easy equation.
Lot's of talking, emailing, calling, spewing personal biased and controlled information BEFORE actually meeting = doomed to fail
Very little talking, meeting, THEN increasing interaction, leading to lots of talking, building up of a foundation of understanding so each persons method and ability of communication is understood, leading to the ability to communicate via phone, email, IM, text, because no questions of what they mean are ever considered because you already know due to all that interacting, listening, and communicating = potential for a healthy adult relationship, but no guarantee.
Actual live interaction is the only way you get to know a person.
Phone, email, IM, text, is a half assed way to tell yourself you get to know (a minute bit) of a person.
Huge difference. ]
We met after talking on the phone like 2 times and the 2nd one was to give directions. I beleive to meet someone before spilling all to them. We went out alot. We even spent a weekend together. He still called alot. Like you said no guarantee! | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:38:58 PM |
Hell, you might have hit it right on the money! Maybe I was trying to make him in my mind who I wanted him to be and didnt see the connection wasnt there. My profile name is just a name. I over heard it on a TV show that my son was watching and I thought it was a funny name. Thanks for your insight.
Got that light bulb moment! Thank you all for your input and Im not offended by any of it. I appreciate every bit of advice. Its been a long time since I dated and I guess Ive got alot to learn. Thanks again!!!
I hope I didn't come off sounding like a jerk to you. I didn't intend to. I was just really trying to read your post with my emotional imagination, and gave an immediate and instinctive "impressionistic" response. I don't know you. I could be wrong. He might have been just a total misleading and indecisive toad, for all I know.
Like you said, you haven't dated in a long time. The gerbil in your mind could just be running at a bit too fast of a pace now on his wheel. Totally understandable. Just keep yourself as calm as you can, your expectations low (like another poster mentioned), and don't forget to give the guy enough room to reveal himself when he's with you. He will if you give him a chance. You may find that he isn't really moving you much at all, isn't really what you want, and find this out long before he does next time.
As for the "pootie-tang" thing, it's just an internet thing. As innocent as your intent might have been, there are a whole lot of guys out there in cyberland that will read your entire ad, and the thing that will stick in their mind is your booty. Never underestimate how shallow a man can be. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:49:59 PM | Hell, you might have hit it right on the money! Maybe I was trying to make him in my mind who I wanted him to be and didnt see the connection wasnt there. My profile name is just a name. I over heard it on a TV show that my son was watching and I thought it was a funny name. Thanks for your insight.
Got that light bulb moment! Thank you all for your input and Im not offended by any of it. I appreciate every bit of advice. Its been a long time since I dated and I guess Ive got alot to learn. Thanks again!!!
[I hope I didn't come off sounding like a jerk to you. I didn't intend to. I was just really trying to read your post with my emotional imagination, and gave an immediate and instinctive "impressionistic" response. I don't know you. I could be wrong. He might have been just a total misleading and indecisive toad, for all I know.
Like you said, you haven't dated in a long time. The gerbil in your mind could just be running at a bit too fast of a pace now on his wheel. Totally understandable. Just keep yourself as calm as you can, your expectations low (like another poster mentioned), and don't forget to give the guy enough room to reveal himself when he's with you. He will if you give him a chance. You may find that he isn't really moving you much at all, isn't really what you want, and find this out long before he does next time.
As for the "pootie-tang" thing, it's just an internet thing. As innocent as your intent might have been, there are a whole lot of guys out there in cyberland that will read your entire ad, and the thing that will stick in their mind is your booty. Never underestimate how shallow a man can be.]
Its really funny how woman have mentioned my profile name and the men have not..
Like I said Im not offended in any way. All the comments are helpful and yours just gave me that LIGHT BULB MOMENT ! Thanks a bunch! Your advice is welcoming and I got it!!  | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:51:35 PM | You know, it could be a million things...
It could be the way you pictured things going and then there is the way he see's things. Who knows. The point is now, just to move on. As you can see there are pleny of other fish in this pond.
{{As for the "pootie-tang" thing, it's just an internet thing. As innocent as your intent might have been, there are a whole lot of guys out there in cyberland that will read your entire ad, and the thing that will stick in their mind is your booty. Never underestimate how shallow a man can be.}}
I have to agree with the above statement! My first thought was... holy crap thats a hell of a screen name... kinda screams at a man in a negative way (or positive to them)! | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:25:58 PM | @MsPootietang:
This guy sounds like a real tool. When a man says he doesn't want someone difficult and that she be "drama-free", he usually means the opposite. Internet dating is like being on a rollercoaster ride. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:29:39 PM | OP: Without knowing the exact occurrences, etc..He was just not interested in pursuing more with you. That's what dating is all about - weeding out people as you learn about one another, and determine if you are for each other.
Don't give up hope! | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:41:39 PM | Perhaps he decided that he didn't want to date someone who was separated and not divorced. There is a lot of potential for problems in situations like that and he may have had second thoughts.
Maybe he felt, after a few dates (and a weekend together) that things weren't connecting for him. Sometimes it takes a while to figure that out. You may have come across as too eager. I understand what was meant when the one poster said your initial post came across as overwhelming. I, too, got that feeling and I'm a woman. Ease up and don't come across as being too into the man. Take it slower.
And I have to agree with some off the other posters about your profile name. It REALLY comes across as sexually enticing. You don't want a man to just be interested in you sexually. You want him to be interested in your whole being. Using names that are sexually provocative will attract the wrong type of men. You may want to consider changing to something less salacious. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:46:31 PM | | There's nothing wrong with what you want, but the problem is, this guy does not want the same things done the same way you do. This is a deal breaker, or should be, so let it go, he's not for you, you had fun but now you know him better and he has qualities you do not like. He's not suppose to be what you want him to be, he's suppose to be himself and in this case you've found you do not like who he is. It's nothing to be confused about, I'm sure for many men you've been interested in then found you weren't anymore and they found that while at first attracted they were not after getting to know you better. It works both ways. Find someone more compatible instead of wracking your brain trying to force fit this man into the man you need. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:52:48 PM | | well how many times did you"date"? maybe its just me, but when I meet someone in person i can tell real quik if we click. I think everyone can. either you got played for some easy ass, or he finally saw what you looked like in person.. and hey dont flip- it's happened to me. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:01:27 PM | I had an experience sort of like that, I met a guy on a blind date some years ago who pursued me like crazy (and I bailed out of the date early, lol), and he just would not leave me alone. But he was a commitment-phobe. They will pursue you to no end--until you show real interest--then they are like "whoa" and they back way up or disappear. Maybe it is his problem.
And I am not trying being critical either, but I would consider a name change to something that seems less suggestive.
I don't think saying "I am not a stalker" makes you stalker.
The fishing is rough out here.
Good luck to you  | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:04:20 PM | [well how many times did you"date"? maybe its just me, but when I meet someone in person i can tell real quik if we click. I think everyone can. either you got played for some easy ass, or he finally saw what you looked like in person.. and hey dont flip- it's happened to me. ]
We dated a bunch and even had a weekend together. There was no surprise on what I looked like, my pictures are up to date. we clicked! I get I have to move on and all but I just want to know why men move forward and if we follow they run..
Life will go on... An I changed my name, or is it still bad? | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:12:11 PM | You forget, He's not you...You may not be aware he's dealing with stuff.
...Don't let yourself become preoccupied.
If you are desperate or affection starved...that's not good...you need to control yourself.
Take two aspirin, drink a hot toddie, read a good book and get a good night's sleep. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:19:23 PM | [Why do some people make a serious thing so easy to be done then publish it? Are they proud of laying with many?]
I hope your not suggesting my post is a sexual post. Not at all. The issue was far from that. phone calls and dating and leaving and why does it happen..
Damn people read into things that arent even there. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:29:16 PM |
We meet! We date. Then its ova! One night your together having a wonderful time together and then the next day comes the email.
We dated a bunch and even had a weekend together
Guys Please help me understand why??????
What do these mean? Can only guys help? | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:55:01 PM | You know what OP? We could all guess, even the RIGHT guess and it won't help you resolve what it means to you.
I would suggest that you bring your energy/power back to yourself again and resume your self-caring and don't give the idiot another thought. I mean is life long enough to care about those who won't even matter in the end? Dude's likely NOT going to be anywhere near your deathbed when the time comes and it's time to set your priorities straight.
The guy is gone...you're back to business as usual and all is well. Why doesn't really matter. There'll always be a why I don't give a crap about knowing LOL!
I have the opposite problem that you do. I'm just a tad apathetic. I think my aloofness is putting men off LMAO! Just today, I had a man hitting on me while I was facepainting at a local venue and I completely missed it. It wasn't until after he ran to a local coffee shop to get me a coffee (nice of him but I still had no clue what his motive was because I just wanted a coffee, I didn't care what it meant) when the two ladies helping me with the waiting list of kids flat out said, "boy, he was all about you"...to which I replied, "oh crap, was he? oops!"
Haha...I'm lame. But still. Don't approach me when I'm working. I'm in my zone.
In a year OP, you probably won't even remember this guy. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:01:08 PM |
It is possible for a couple to spend a night or weekend together without sharing a bed.
Being possible doesn't mean being impossible. You weren't there. In addition, what is "ova" after meeting, dating, and having wonderful times together? It's the plural of ovum, female sex cell or gamete! | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:04:22 PM | [We meet! We date. Then its ova! One night your together having a wonderful time together and then the next day comes the email.
We dated a bunch and even had a weekend together
Guys Please help me understand why??????
What do these mean? Can only guys help? ]
Well I guess you can read into it what ever way you want.
I said it wasnt sexual so why not let it go?
Some people have nothing better to do I suppose!!!! | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:09:41 PM | | Dating is like baking a cake, you have to keep trying, failing and improving at it until you come up with the perfect one. You're not divorced yet, few men will take your dating attempts seriously if you still have ties to a husband.The odds of romance failure are far greater when the woman or man is not single. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:10:54 PM | Why didn't this get deleted? This is a freekin pity party for one....
He didn't get back to you because he didn't get back to you.
You're welcome
Nothin to see here | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:19:43 PM |
Dating is like baking a cake, you have to keep trying, failing and improving at it until you come up with the perfect one. You're not divorced yet, few men will take your dating attempts seriously if you still have ties to a husband.The odds of romance failure are far greater when the woman or man is not single. I agree with you. | |
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| Guys Please help me understand why??????
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:29:42 PM | Yea, what Fa que said! Can't believe I just said that! *lol*
But really, perhaps because she's a newbie ~~~Fa que~~~ & they didn't want to scare her off too quick. Gotta have tough skin round the fora sometimes OP. 
As for me  ~~~Daynadaze~~~ said it perfectly.  | |
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