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| 4 months and I still have not seen his home
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:32:41 PM | This is NOT about your being a distraction; he's definitely hiding something that's definitely significant and might even be dangerous. Maybe stopping all contact is enough. But since you've been so intensely intimate already, it might be worth hiring a private investigator.
If his place is such a mess he's ashamed of it, he probably has some sort of obsession you might be able to help him see that can be addressed. The biggest liklihood is that there really is a wife or live-in;. Just hope he's not holding sex slaves in a locked room or his basement. | |
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| 4 months and I still have not seen his home
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:49:00 PM | | This guy is obviously either A. married B. another Jeffery Dahmer c. Living with his mom and his wife. Can't really tell how this guy who is obviously full of crap could have restored your faith but I would kick his lame butt to the curb ASAP | |
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| What to do,What to do?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:44:59 PM | | HE IS HOMELESS!A married man would not have you pick him up in front of his apartment! | |
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| 4 months and I still have not seen his home
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:08:27 PM | Most posters are missing the point, and judging the man. Listen to what the OP is saying. She spent way too much time emailing, on the phone with this man BEFORE meeting. That was way too long and too much time spent on someone who you might not click with. Anyone can write anything they want on a profile, job profession, education, athletic or a few extra pounds lol. Some could even read your profile and then edit theirs to make it sound so good. After emailing a few times to get the basics out of the way, the next step should be phoning. It helps if both people would answer and call the other person, instead of it being a one way street. Then, its time to meet, in a relaxing spot in public. Sit around and talk undistracted, and see if you click. Then after talking a few times you will have a good idea if it is someone you like to be around. After a few times out talking and then going for a meal, it would then be a good time to see where they live. Yes, I agree with everyone that wrote before me, he was hiding something, but Im not going to judge him or compare him to some serial killer, just because its on the headline news. People nowadays are quick to draw conclusions with all the news being broadcasted now. If he didnt want to show her his house or apartment, then she could make her decision to continue in the relationship or not.
The OP says she is fairly certain, well how can she be if she hasnt been inside his house? Relationships are 2 way streets, and its obvious he is just using her, taking and not giving in return. If you are wondering or having 2nd thoughts, its not love at all. | |
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| What to do,What to do?
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:41:42 PM | I know this is a late response, but I totally can relate. I have been with my current (probably soon to be ex) boyfriend for 2 years and I have never been in his house because he will not let me in. I'll never forget about a month into dating, I was worried about him beacuse I hadn't heard from him all day and we had plans for that evening, so I drove over and rang the bell- He opened the door and flipped out on me saying if i don't leave he'd call the cops...I got a tiny glimpse into the house and it looked normal.
We always go out on dates, we never stay in because he will not allow me in his house. At the end of the night, when we arrive at his house, we sit in my car for hours instead of going in to watch tv and relax. Often I will really have to go to the bathroom at the end of the evening and ask if i could just run in to use the toilet and he refuses, saying i can go to the diner down the road. When we first started dating, he said it was messy and he will let me in when he cleans it. That was a lie. His excuse now is simply "he doesn't like people in his house nor using his bathroom." When I asked further, he said that he hates his cable company but can't get it changed because he refuses to let anyone come in to change it. He gets the same electricity bill every month which is estimted because he won't let the people in to read the meter. He needs home repair both inside and out, he says, but can't get it done because he won't allow a worker/contracter in his house. He says it's gross for anyone but himself to use his toilet because he thinks its gross for other people's "asses" to touch his toilet seat.
I have begged and begged, but he will not let me in. He says he's sorry but he can't change who he is. He has only been over my house twice in 2 years...I live at home with my dad and he will only come over when my dad isn't home.. so about 10 months into the relationship, my dad went away for a week so he came over and slept over one night. I've tried to invite him over other times when no one is home to spend the night, but he says he doesnt like to because he needs to shower twice a day and can't sleep without a shower and can't sleep in the same bed with someone. I say fine, use my shower! He doesn't want to. I say, fine, we can cuddle and then when its time to actually sleep, u can sleep in the next room. Nope.
Anyway, ive gone off topic, but yeah he won't let me in. I'm trying to get the courage to break up the relationship because there are 2322 other problems besides this major one- and no he is not married, but yes he could be hiding something. I just can't seem to get the courage to break up with him because i'm so attached and some moments i'm like "ok im totally doing it, i deserve a normal relationship and im not happy in this one."- but then, when i wake up in the morning, i feel sad and weak and start to miss him before i've even done anything. so. yeah. just thought i'd write this to let u know ur not the only one who has gone thru this. You're upset with 4 months..imagine over 2 years. | |
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