| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:19:30 AM | There should be codes of understanding among fellow men regarding the opposite sex. Here's a few...
Man Law: No man should engage in any discussion or act in any manner that may willingly or unwillingly do his fellow man in. This is in relation to his dealings with the female gender (example: if you know that one of your best buddies sleeps around on his lady, she should not hear it from you). This should especially ring true if the men are close friends or have a close kinship to one another.
Man Law: If you are a man in the hunt for affection. You should not seek it from the significant other (or former significant other) of one of your BEST BUDDIES OR ANY MAN CLOSE TO YOU. In addition to significant others being off limits, mistresses and other certain special women in your buddies lives should also be avoided (judge their status carefully and proceed at your own risk). Women that don't fit this criteria are open game.
Man Law: No talking down or engaging in any acts of jealousy against your fellow man who has Lothario-esqe qualities (knack for being popular with the ladies) or overall success with everything he does. The more you LEARN from him, the better.
Man Law: No talking down or engaging in any acts of jealousy against your fellow man AROUND CERTAIN WOMEN (some things they will never understand but again, decide then approach with caution). You should not point out any indiscretions he may have. Do not put any of his personal business out in the street. This rule also includes talking to other males with jealousy issues (they are exempt from man laws). You may find out some people like to run their mouths and the results can be disastrous.
Man Law: As a man you should SET YOUR OWN RULES AND MAKE LIFE WORK FOR YOU.
If you are a male with overly sensitive, jealous, playa hating traits about you then you are exempt from man laws. You might as well don a skirt because you are unsure of what side you on. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:18:15 AM | ^^^
Man Law: No man shall hinder the act of another man's quest to "seal the deal." If said "deal sealer" so happens to need privacy at that very moment, a real man will voluntarilly make himself scarce realizing he is officially a third wheel. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:59:34 AM | | I understand that the "hanging a sock" on the doorknob trick works really well. It's the universal "Dude, I'm in here with a chick" signal and is respected by all other Dudes. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:53:07 PM | Hanging a bra on the doorknob might be a good tactic for roommate dudes who like to party late at night and are prone to miss the "sock" signal.  | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 4:45:14 PM | Man Law: There are only a couple of acceptable occasions where a man may cry openly. That includes deaths in the family, watching Rudy (or other emotional sports movies), or maybe after losing everything in a divorce. For any other reasons other than the three listed, it's best to cry discreetly and to yourself.  | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 4:49:54 PM | Isn't there a man law about tattling?
There certainly is. I believe there's a woman law about that too.
Male version: Got a problem with someone? Handle it yourself. It's OK if your friends step in on your behalf unasked. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:18:45 PM | Ladies don't need to be confrontational.
We have a few laws, but we're too wise to share them in public. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:34:00 PM | ^^^Oh, do tell.
Man Law: All good wingmen shall remember the name and phone number of their buddy's target. Buddies shouldn't be burdened by such details. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:51:05 PM | a couple more..
Man Law: Under no circumstance may two men share an umbrella.
Man Law: Never compliment a man on a six pack, unless you are talking about beer.
Man Law: Fruity drinks, avoid them at all costs, unless you are vacationing in the islands somewhere and you got them free.
Man Law: Under no circumstance may you **** about the brand of free beer at your buddies house or any man's house for that matter.
Man Law: Under no circumstance may you leave half drunk beer containers or liquor cups at any social gathering sponsored by men. Doing this should be grounds for an ass whooping.
Man Law: Bringing a camera to a batchelor party should bring the same consequences.
Man Law: It is ok for you to drive her car, it not ok for her to drive yours ( unless maybe of course you're drunk).
Man Law: Buying a car in the colors of orange, brown, pink, sky blue, or lime green should be avoided at all costs. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:34:40 PM | | ^^^^How about two men sharing a fruity, lime green drink with a little umbrella in it, while they compliment each other on their six-packs? | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/29/2009 7:41:10 AM | **Natasha takes away Match's Man Card and steps away as she watches for the ass-whooping he's sure to get**
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/29/2009 9:20:40 AM | | ^^^^^I don't make the news, I just report it. I had to go to the Beverly Center the other day, and I got the impression the kind of thing I described wouldn't be at all unusual at the spiffy sidewalk bars and cafes I saw in the area. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:22:27 AM | ^^^ Match ... it depends ... you left out one important detail ... are they wearing PINK shirts??? | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/29/2009 7:25:15 PM | More important Match - did your face turn pink when you saw them?  | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/29/2009 9:25:49 PM | | ^^^^^No--I was concentrating on all the lonely-looking babes. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:43:40 PM | | The only answer that a Real Man(TM) could give. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:00:57 PM | Man Law 1
Never, never tell the ladies the secret man laws. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:57:29 PM | Pffft... like you guys ever even talk to each other...  | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:18:24 PM | All man laws go out the window when the right woman shows up. It all goes, we cave, we give up we fold. It isn't our fault, it is biology. You can't fight it, you can't prevent it. It just happens. Every single guy LIVES by the man laws. Get inlvolved and it is OVER. Hope it ends for me soon. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:53:25 PM | Bigbee,
You're both hilarious and articulate. That's a dangerous combination.
Man Law:No two men shall skinny dip together unless a woman is present and also skinny dipping.
Man Law: No man shall sample the food from another man's plate.
Man Law: No man shall frost or highlight his hair. Being so vain is hence forth considered a violation of Man Law. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:04:07 PM | MAN LAW
No Real Man shall EVER throw in the towel and cave to the wily charms of any woman, lest he risk being repeatedly ass-snapped with a rolled up, wet towel (a la boys locker room hi-jinks) by an assembled multitude of his betrayed brethren in between innings of the Yankees / Red Sox game. (Of course, The Minister is above naming names, but the offender’s initials herein are C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r-1968.)
Besides, no Real Man ever even recognizes when the right woman shows up, since all the while he is intently focused on imagining what his best friend’s old lady would look like bent over the coffee table, thus leading to his never noticing Mrs. Right. (Unless said wench Mrs. Right is in excess of 40DD, and simply can’t go unnoticed once she knocks the saloon doors off their hinges simply by walking through them.)
Therefore, all Real Men shall always maintain their role as the superior of the species, even when completely smitten by some skirt who can back dat azz up like it was a tractor-trailer easing into a loading dock.
Now, Mr. Your Initials Are C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r-1968, atone for your Nancy Boy violation of Man Law by washing and drying your Grandmother’s demitasse sissy sipping cups while belting out Broadway show tunes, then go take apart and reassemble an outboard motor by hand. Only then shall you earn the return of your Man Card.
GAVEL
Oh, and wear a pink shirt while doing so...
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| Man Law
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:32:55 PM |
atone for your Nancy Boy violation of Man Law by washing and drying your Grandmother’s demitasse sissy sipping cups while belting out Broadway show tunes, then go take apart and reassemble an outboard motor by hand. Only then shall you earn the return of your Man Card.
Holy crapamoly. I knew you would eventually get in here and blow it up. Now there's an official punishment for Man Law violators. f-ing love it.
::runs off to Google outboard motor assembly:: | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 10/1/2009 1:02:19 AM | | And wear your little nancy boy apron while you do them cups. You can take it off before you start working on the Evinrude--just the thought of you coming anywhere near a motor wearing that thing's enough to turn a man's stomach. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:22:30 AM | All man laws go out the window when the right woman shows up.
Man Law 99: A Quality Woman(TM) understands this tendency and insists that her man "man up" and keep on keeping on. She respects him as a man even if he's completely lost his marbles over her. She thinks that's cute, but loves and respects him as a man. So, she will never take advantage by asking him to do "unmanly" things like holding her purse for her, wearing matching clothing, or accompany her to the shopping mall. She'll happily drop him off at the hardware section while she does whatever it is she does, and collect him when she's done. A woman like that is a keeper.
Of course, the Minister is right as always. You'll never spot her. So, no matter how smitten you are, you've got to be prepared to man up whenever and wherever a woman tries to make a girlfriend out of you. | |
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| Man Law
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:31:03 AM | | That sounds more like a Woman Law Ace. | |
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