| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 1:33:58 PM | I am over 40 and ...
OMG  Mine is OFF THE CHARTS!!!!.... can anyone please 
My "drive" has always been an 11 on a scale of 1-10 , but it's gone into overdrive since around mid thirties. I usually date younger guys but even they cannot keep up.
Is there any type of pill for this??... it is RIDICULOUS!!!!  | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:51:45 PM |
Na, it is ascientific fact that a woman is in her sexual peak at 26-30. You must remember these things a are studied. I believe women start feeling old and try to compensate.
rotflmao...are you kidding??!? =) I call BS on that. Really, get your facts straight. Studies support no such thing. Men peak between 18-early to mid 20s..women much later...30's or 40's..Of course, you can have a fulfilling , healthy sex drive/sex life at any age. If anything, women become more comfortable in their own skin, enhancing sexuality and even drive..into their late 30s and early 40s. I'm 44 and mine has continually increased since my mid 20s...much more so in my late 30s...no signs of slowing down, lucky for me =) | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:52:35 PM |
Na, it's a scientific fact that a woman is in her sexual peak at 26-30
Well, I for one can shoot that "theory" right out of the water!
I believe women start feeling old and try to compensate
^^^ Good gawd, that is priceless  | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:59:33 PM | | It gets stronger after 35 and keeps going up. :) Not sure when it peaks but I do have friends in their 50s who say theirs is decreasing. Hope mine doesn't! haha | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:07:43 PM | | I think there's a difference between sex drive and sexual response. While an older woman may not spend as much time fantasizing about or craving sexual activity (note, I said "may not"), the right situation can bring her straight into high gear. What we all crave is touch. When you've gone a long time without it, the longing for touch can be as intense as an adolescent's longing for sex. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:50:27 PM | I'm surprised to hear of every woman here experiencing higher than normal sex drives. That isn't what my doc is telling me and it certainly isn't the experiences I've been seeing/hearing from my girlfriends and other women I have had the privilege to share with.
I remember being absolutely driven to have sex in my 20's up until my mid thirties. Driven in the sense that I noticed my body would arouse quickly and easily and I would want to engage in some form of sexual play as a result. I don't recall ever feeling "insatiable" though as a few orgasms per session and some fulfilling sex were all I needed till our rhythm took its next beat. It seems like you develop some kind of pattern of frequency around sex, even when your body doesn't require it. Perhaps this part of sex is more about habit than it is about your body. I don't know for sure. The stress inside of my relationships coupled with the lack of emotional stability to be found therein left my sexual desire for my partner waxing and waining from time to time. So from time to time, I struggled with decreased libido and so too did the men in my life. I think relationships that just aren't very good cause this or if anything, exacerbate the problem.
After my last relationship storm (if I may use this term) I found that I experienced a significant decrease in my desire to have sex with men. I am not sure if it is physical or if it is part of my emotional viewpoint on sex now. I find the high risk of engaging in any form of play with someone new tends to talk me out of it easily. I also find that since I've put on a few extra lbs. that I don't feel as sexy and as a result, I just don't feel sexual as much.
The bonus though is that I am learning who I am as a person without so much identification around my sex instinct. I also find that sex for me is more about the situation I am in emotionally than anything else. The physical part is really quite simple to fix.
However, despite my drive having dropped significantly, I masturbate more. Which is a little odd considering. I find my orgasms more satisfying, take less time and leave me feeling more satisfied than I previously did. So, this, I don't quite understand. I do however, feel safe, valued and loved by myself, something I don't generally feel in my relationships. Experiencing that with a man, well, I'm not sure if that will happen. I have a pretty negative association with it.
For some reason I don't feel frightened by it though. I'm not sure I would need the libido I once had right now as I have goals in life that don't focus around whether I'm horny or not. So in a sense, it takes one extra need out of the way. I have moments when I would like to feel desirable again, like a woman (I don't really feel like a woman anymore, I feel more like a man if that makes any sense--life has demanded a lot from me) but I'm not sure if that will ever happen again.
Either way, I have noted a decrease in that "driven" feeling but an increase in my self-pleasure. I do feel that fear of aging thing a bit. I find my body is changing. It's interesting to go through this and at the same time there is a sort of grief attached to it. It's like you're a flower that's fading and you feel it inside. At least for me that's how it is. It hurt to turn 40 but in another way, I feel wiser now and I'm enjoying some things I never enjoyed as much before. I appreciate the people in my life more, my children more and what I can give to the community more. I worry less about whether a man finds me attractive because I'm not about making babies for/with him.
My doc said that when women start to have an-ovulatory cycles (periods without ovulation) they have a significant decrease in progesterone and this chemical is largely responsible for the regulation of the female sex hormones (testosterone, estrogen) so when that plummets, usually the sex drive changes too. Some women panic and go get progesterone creams to rub on their genitals (sort of like the men's version of viagra) and to some degree it seems to be helping these women. Others are taking low dose testosterone but there are risks with that too. Menopause often causes decrease in libido too but many women I know who are over 50 really don't seem to care anymore about men's approval of them and want to live for more than just being someone's sexual fulfilment so I can see how that works. Then I do know a few who claim that the inability to get pregnant really helped open them up sexually and relieved them of the stress of this factor so they enjoyed sex with more freedom and more gusto. I can see that too. I know I'll be thrilled to not have to worry. I already have four children and I'm way too fertile in the first place.
So I guess I'm chiming in with a different tune. And I think where my sex drive is at has a bit to do with more factors than just my physical. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:19:22 PM | Guess the doctors are just as confused as the women!!
My (female) doctor tells me it's quite normal that I'm feeling overly sexual.
And most my g/f's that are of the same age as myself say they have increased libido's over the past few years.
Only one that doesn't........has been married for 30 years and admits if she is just bored with the same routine. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:38:31 PM | Yeah some lazy ass man who couldn't get it up probably started the rumour that a womens drive slows in age so he had an excuse not to get it up!
It actually goes up from what I have experienced and heard! | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:07:13 PM | | Women are redefining their aging process as part of the generation that grew up on "free love". I'm not ready wave the white flag and play asexual, because I'm over fifty. I find sex between people who know and are comfortable with their own bodies and embrace the spirituality and physicality of sex, is the best sex ever. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:29:23 PM |
I am just wondering about how a womans sexual drive changes after 40 i had been taught that it decreased in women with age but it seems to get more intense with me as the years pass im just wondering is this normal and could you please give me some in put thanxsfor your time.
I think the only time that misconception actually occurs is when the woman has been with a selfish or self centered man for too many years. Wouldn't blame her a bit. I'd start getting headaches myself,,,
JTOoaGOM | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:46:10 PM | i think somewhere in the 40's women ramp up and men ramp down, thats why more and more women are openly becoming "cougars"
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 9:50:39 PM |
My "drive" has always been an 11 on a scale of 1-10 , but it's gone into overdrive since around mid thirties. I usually date younger guys but even they cannot keep up.
Why date younger men? My GF is 16 years younger then me, and just starting to peak, and tells me that she is glad I am older, as she thinks she could not keep up with me if she had met me earlier. Some of us old farts actually stick around and last long enough for you to enjoy it too! | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:25:57 PM | Why oh WHY is there not a MissContemplative in my city? Why? why ? WHY????
I'd love a chance to make her feel truly appreciated as a sexual woman!!!
It's been my experience that the over 40 ladies are definitely NOT decreasing in sexual drive nor prowess.
But what do I know? I am only a 50+ guy.
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:39:06 PM | | Gentlemen, I see opportunity here....I think it's time to keep our fly zipped up and purchase some Eveready and Duracell stock. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:03:48 PM | | Jesus, I hope mine goes down (at least a little) as I age. Mine is high enough as it is and I'm only 35. If it goes any higher, I'll be working in a brothel. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:51:21 PM | | I don't think it decreases because of age because age is only a number. For myself, it's meeting the kind of guy that deserves the priviledge of boinking me. So far, they are to few and far between that's for sure! LOL! | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:12:17 PM |
Trying to compensate?? ^^
for what?? all the crappy sex we had when men were young and clueless
Way to go MsMicki ... keep shooting from the hip chick! Love it! | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:16:15 PM | when I was younger I could have easily been a rabiit but today I am more intense in my intimacy.
I would say it is so much better now and as far as the frequency, I would say that is left up to the guy...as it usually has been through out my life...but I am game if he is. | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:55:17 PM | I am close to half a centruy and have to say it started increasing at about age 40 and still is..
and the senses..the erotic and the sensuality of things seem so much more heightened as well...
T | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:52:36 AM | Personally, I think a woman's sex drive is 99% mental. If a woman enjoys sex, it just keeps getting better and better with time and experience. If a woman never enjoyed sex in the first place, she can use age as an excuse to avoid it at all cost.
When a woman reaches menopause and her body goes through changes , if she enjoys sex, there are plenty of products on the market that she can use to allow her to continue with a fulfilling sex life.
I had a strong drive in my twenties (my casual sex period) and I have a strong drive now in my fifties. Making love to the same man in a caring relationship is a lot more fun for me than casual sex ever was. I don't engage in casual sex anymore. I can't be around my lover without wanting to touch him. The more intimate time we log together, the more I want to be with him.
What I want to know is, who "taught" you that sexual drive decreased in women with age"? | |
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| sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:02:48 AM | | The sex drive for women above 40 has increased. At 20 they only had to drive 5 miles on average to get laid, now it is 12 miles... | |
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