| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:37:27 PM | | The best thing you could do is tell him straight out that you want a woman and if he doesn't like it so be it, Life is about making tough decisions and your b f had stated he wants you for himself, so it's basically up to you how bad do you want him for a boyfriend or how bad do you want a woman, you know what you want already, you want your cake and ice cream. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:39:09 PM | OP: Quite frankly, I'm surprised that your BF is not THRILLED to DEATH with this revelation (like a lot of the male population). LMAO!
Well if you love your BF then this is a no-brainer, since he does not want you to partake in this fantasy of yours. However, I don't think anyone should hold back a person from the possibility of experiencing something like this.
I should hook you up with the woman's screen name who had the audacity to email me yesterday for a manage a trois!  | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:21:39 PM | If you really wanted opinions try listening not defending.
All of this has been covered already! But here it goes....
You need to leave this guy alone and go figure out who you are and what you want!! If you forgave him for cheating It would not be an issue, apparently it still is!
In the context you used, NO he shouldnt accept you for who you are because basically you lied to him when you wernt open enough to tell him that you were interested in women BEFORE you got involved!
Go do some growing up and quit making excuses! | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:31:02 PM | | OP...I'm constantly amazed how some people have this misconception that just because they're bi-curious its ok to be intimate with another whilst in a relationship...If you're really honest about your sexuality than you would know that being attracted to the same sex is exactly like being attracted to the opposite sex when in a relationship..the rules should still apply. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 3:41:42 PM | Except according to the OP they shouldn't apply...because the fact that her BF cheated means that she can rationalize that she deserves one of those Pikachu cheat passes that Dingleberry's talking about.
Classic post, that one. Keep it up, Dingle. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:19:34 PM | If you like women as well and wish to explore further..then communication is the key..you risk lsoing him by doing this behind his back and that is CHEATING and you risk loss if you tell and he says he does not like it and you still want it..then you would need to decide if you can be with him without this.
The fact you want him AND a woman suggests NOT just bi-sexuality but POLY
or multiple realtionships which also take a lot of COMMUNICATION.
TO be with a man and wan ot be with a woman has sounded great for a lot of guys who have posted here and I guess that is fine if they think bi is poly-fukkery with NO strings..or women "dyke out" AS THEY SAY FOR THIER ENTERTAINMENT AND STIMULATION.
however..to be in realtionship fully means the woman may eventually choose a woman over the man as well.
SOME men forget this in thier "fuk ya I get to live a porn film" excitment.
THey often feel they are primary and the 2nd woman is an add on ofr thejm..extra fun.Not always the case.
Unless you are up front with everyone concerned this can cause a lot of problems.
If you are up front and communicate many wonderful scenerios can occur that are fullfilling and most exciting...such as a committnted realtionship with emotional faithfullness to your man and with a woman who is a playmate and knows full well why she is there.
T | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:55:04 PM | Why do you feel the need to tell him this? Are you planning on picking up a girlfriend? You know that he considers that cheating, as do most other people. Get your head together, and if you want to stay with this man then you need to realize that that means being faithful to him. A good man who loves you is a precious thing, don't go blowing it over your supposed need to sleep with a woman. No one ever died because they didn't get to go down, and you won't either.
Either appreciate what you have, or give this man the courtesy of breaking it off and being honest with him.
Put his needs before yours in this instance, and appreciate the fact that someone loves you.
Beth | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:05:13 PM | Ah, the youthful mindset that one can have it all!
You, my friend (OP), should just be single and not try to convince him otherwise. You have already hinted at the path you want to go down. He isn't into it. Respect him and let him be had by someone who will appreciate him. This is how men end up bitter with women and they hold grudges far longer than us. Why do you think they take so long to open up?
Make sure if you end up with someone else while still with him that you use protection (dental damns, condoms etc.). I would hate for a nice guy to get an s.t.d. because he is loyal. No slight on you, but when there is youth involved mistakes can easily be made.
Good luck with your choice. You know what you need to do. Keep us posted. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:12:18 PM | Well judging by her subsequent posts I'd say my position on the OP has changed somewhat. Poor little girl thinks she's still living at home and going to school, waving her arms and pouting, "I want to live my own life grrr."
It's simple OP and damn sure you know it's time to do this.
Put your big girl shoes on, move to the other side of the city, get yourself an apartment and sleep with whoever you want. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:37:03 PM | So what you're saying is you want your cake and you want to eat it too?!
Don't you think that's being a bit selfish. Whether you have sex with another man or a woman, besides your B/F it's still cheating and unfair.
Just break up with him and go experiment. Just don't expect to get him back. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:09:26 AM | | im not contradicting myself! i have NOT done ANYTHING with a woman since being with my bf! I was single when i kissed other girls! | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:21:49 AM | Yes you are. You want a get out of jail free card to cheat.
why cant he just look past his issue if it was ok for him to sleep around
You are looking for revenge sex, to get back at him for something and want him to be ok with you cheating. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
THEN you mask your desire to punish your b/f, in sexuality so you can feel justified in your actions b/c you want to "explore".
Just because they have different naughty bits doesn't mean its any less about vengeance. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:24:42 AM | If you can't get past his cheating, then break up with him.
If you want to be bi and he doesn't want you to cheat, then break up with him.
Being with another person, regardless of gender, when you are with someone is cheating.
Frankly, you are immature and if you think being with another girl will make you cool, you're wrong. To some of us the very thought is disgusting. Once you've gone there you will have tainted yourself in a lot of guys' opinions and you won't be an attractive or suitable partner to them either. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:22:10 PM | | OP: If you want to get it on with a girl or girls, break up and then do it. It won't work if you're in a so-called "committed" relationship with a BF. Think about it: Would you want to know your BF is getting it on with another man or men? | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:11:16 AM | {im not contradicting myself! i have NOT done ANYTHING with a woman since being with my bf! I was single when i kissed other girls!}
You sound like a 12 year old throwing a hissy fit...crying:
WTF is wrong with some people? Meaning YOU!: | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 10:19:14 AM | | First identify your needs. This maybe a private curiousity. Getting to know yourself through a same gender realtionship is different than having a threesome. If your curious about opening up your sexual arena realize that your primary partner must be able to raise their hand in the matter. What's the dealbreaker here? What are your needs and be honest w/all involved. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 10:35:24 AM | | dont tell him and do what you want. If you didn't want to do it this badly you wouldn't have this note out here. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:16:36 PM |
How do i tell my current bf that i like girls? He knows ive kissed girls but he told me that he doesnt like the idea of me with another woman. I would like to take things further with a woman but fear of losing him at the the same time. any advice?
I have advice for you:
1) Stop defending yourself, you don't owe that to anyone here;
2) Never ever post anything on POF that isn't strictly conversative/vanilla in nature with regard to sex and/or sexuality (it's a tough crowd here, sadly);
3) Be honest, kind and pick an appropriate time/place to have a serious conversation with your BF. If he doesn't understand that part of you, it's highly likely he won't understand lots of other things about "who" you are and "who" you may become.
Good luck!!  | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:21:14 PM | | Seems you're with the wrong guy. Make a choice, like an adult. Then accept the consequences. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:22:10 PM | | Being one who likes girls too, I completely understand your problem! | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:42:57 PM | | DAMMMMMMM!!! Dont i wish i had that problem. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:38:28 PM | Uhm well...
Do you want to lose him or not?
Ask him if he likes the idea of the two of you being with another women if you really want to see a guy have conflicting emotions.
But personally I recommend that if you feel this strong enough you break up with him and explore your sexuality.
I know there are guys in relationship with hot women, who don't consider them being with women as cheating. Or who allow another woman to be introduced from time to time.
Although the idea of two women is appealing to me, I think it rarely works out in relationships. I mean as a guy you'd just keep thinking I like women, she likes women, I like women, she likes women. Funny enough though the idea of your gf cheating on you with a woman just doesn't seem to be a recurring issue at least with me.
I know my ex was bi because she fantasized about women.
But the way she did was so creepy and perverted that I just thought man this chick is never gonna get a girl because she actually can't related to real women outside of her fantasy. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:39:09 AM | In your first post, op, you asked how you can tell your bf that you like girls. And you implied that although you told him you have kissed girls in the past (and he did not approve of you doing so) that you did not in fact be upfront with him and tell him you are bi.
I think you should do so immediately and continue to do so with anyone else you become involved with in the future.
I'd certainly want to know. There's a big difference between something I did once in college and/or jail and actually being bi-sexual and your partner should be aware of it. | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:12:29 AM | | lifes about choices chuck what do you wont more | |
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| Bi-curious?
Posted: 9/2/2009 11:14:31 AM |
Ive not cheated! ive not done anything with another girl while ive been with him! its got nothing to do with revenge. Its a side of a perosn that wont go away! he should accept me the way i am, i shouldnt have to change what i feel for other women.
You sound very confused.
1) There is a difference between feeling something and acting upon it.
2) What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
You can have an open relationship or a closed relationship.
If you have an open relationship, then unless there is a specific explicit contract (as in a Master/Slave relationship), then it's open for both of you. You can each do what you like, pursuant to fair rules that you both agree upon. If you do this, then you don't get to play the "he cheated on me but I forgave him" game.
If you have a closed relationship, then the behaviors of you both are constrained. If you do this, then you don't get to play the "he should accept me the way I am" game. | |
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