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Posted: 8/27/2009 11:03:01 AM | | And OP. Paragraphs man, paragraphs. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2009 11:52:58 AM | I know the more i think about it, it is so wrong. sometimes u need a kick in the head and see it from another view.
I guess its just hard to be rejected in that way but in the long run i guess i should be thankful. i had to keep receipts so she could account for my day, had to pay for gas outside at the pump because i was not allowed in gas stations because she thought i would meet someone. was not allowed at a gym, parks, etc. any place another woman could be that she would think i look at, could only get my haircut by a male, Sometimes if i wanted to have sex she would say thats treating her like a whore. My head tells me to run, my heart tell me to run, it is time and its ****up so why do i hurt? good lord | |
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Posted: 8/27/2009 12:52:20 PM | Dude, google co dependency...
Seriously, you need to walk away and not look back. This is totally dysfunctional and it's not going to get better. I think you know this. People are not possessions.
Who gives a shit who cuts your hair or how you pay for your gas... not like you're going to bed every woman you look at right? There is obviously something very wrong with this girl and you CANNOT fix her.
Violence always escalates, and it sounds like this woman is capable then far more then you want to admit.
You seem like a very sweet guy, don't get caught up in this mess. Walk away while you still can, and maybe consider looking into some counseling to figure out why you let yourself be treated this way? | |
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Posted: 8/27/2009 3:22:43 PM | You sound just like the women who file for restraining orders against their violent man.
You sound just like a woman who has been beaten within an inch of her life by a violent man.
You sound just like a woman who feels she is worthless and that nobody else will ever love her if she leaves her abusive man.
You sound like someone who has no self respect and cares more about your abuser than you care about yourself.
You sound like someone who wants to be loved so much that you're willing to be loved by her, even though it hurts, because it's better than nothing.
You sound like someone who got a taste of great sex and now is letting his diick lead him into hell at the hands of an abuser with great skills in the sack.
She may be as fuucked up as you say, but I think you need to look in the mirror and grow some self-respect and act in YOUR OWN best interests instead of HERS. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2009 3:26:25 PM | And your profile says you have children.
What would you tell your child if someone was treating them like she is treating you?
Take what you would tell your kid and tell it to yourself. This won't end unless YOU end it. She never will. She's got it good with you, so why in the world would she change? She won't.
I don't sympathize with you, I pity you. And that's unusual for me because I'm a very compassionate person. Except when it comes to someone who keeps allowing an abuser to abuse them. At some point it is YOUR responsibility to stop the violence and the controlling behavior.
When are you going to do it man? Why haven't you already done it? Do you really hate yourself THAT much??? | |
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Posted: 8/28/2009 2:53:48 PM | | Make a promise to yourself and also your family to treat yourself better and protect yourself from toxic people. Apply your loyalty first and foremost to yourself in emergency supersized doses. It's noble that you keep your word, but be smart and noble-what you thought terms between you were when you made the promise have changed, or at least your ability to percieve reality has changed. It's good (though painful) that you are waking up. This is the beginning of a whole other journey, the one where you find and reconnect with your abandoned self. Hard work, but, remember, you're worth it! | |
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Posted: 8/29/2009 9:03:05 AM | | God man,sheeeeeeesh.You have to question your thoughts or decsions on this one!!!!!???SHE PLAYED YOU FOR ALL IT WAS WORTH!Listen to me,you my not break your word.Which is outstanding,but NEVER let someone play you.Buck up,be a man and learn a great deal from this experiance.And the STD,whew.Your done. | |
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Posted: 8/29/2009 10:36:55 AM | | ya I really got screwed. I did test positive for sure with herpies and called her to tell her that infact i do. her reply " thats your own damn fault, now u have a little something to remember me by, dont ever call me again" I held on because i cared. I really didnt notice someone taking self esteem and dignity away in little pieces. If i pile up all the peices its one huge pot. I gave everything i had to this person, love, money, respect, helped her daughter enroll in colledge and paid that. what do i get in return? here U A hole take this and let it ruin the rest of your life. I know i shoudnt care and i know am walking away and know it was stupid. just trying to get over the feelings. thoughts cross my mind of revenge and what i do with all these naked pics and things she sent me? I have to try to be the better person and delete them. who the hell is going to date someone with a std, I feel so dirty and not very proud. | |
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Posted: 8/29/2009 11:56:30 AM | | Sounds like a bad movie. If any of this is true, then you know what you need to do. And posting here isn't going to help you. You need to get some therapy because your thought processes are really self-destructive. I don't think this is love- seems more like obsession. And that's never a good thing. | |
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Posted: 8/29/2009 7:23:16 PM |
I really didnt notice someone taking self esteem and dignity away in little pieces.
I suggest you take a BIG step back from this current mess and figure out A LOT of things about yourself. None of which can be figured out here on a forum. You need a little professional help to get your head on straight. Go to a professional and ask yourself a few things. She may be an awful mess, but you clearly have some issues yourself. A healthy person wouldn't allow someone to treat them the way you allowed her to treat you. Ask yourself (with a therapist) these questions:
WHY you didn't notice that you were allowing her to steal your self-respect and dignity.
WHY didn't you leave the relationship sooner?
WHAT were you getting from the relationship that was so good you stayed so long? If it was sex then you've got a serious problem.
WHY did you put her before yourself?
WHY do you believe she is more important than you?
WHY did you feel the need to give, give, give and give while you weren't getting all YOU want in return?
WHY do you think that you deserve so little in a relationship?
HOW are you going to act in your next relationship?
WHAT kind of judgment are you going to use in the future?
Is this the only relationship you've had that has caused you to act like such a fool? I'm going to guess it's not.
There's a difference between a "good guy" and a doormat who is willing to be someone else's victim.
I wish you the best...and even more I wish you long-term mental health. I'm sorry you were hurt and I hope you find healing inside yourself. Don't get involved with someone new until you've healed from this experience. | |
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Posted: 8/29/2009 7:35:47 PM | P.S. Pick up this book if you want to better understand this woman and what she's done with you. It's called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me!" by Jerold J. Kreisman.
http://www.amazon.com/Hate-You-Dont-Leave-Understanding/dp/0380713055 | |
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Posted: 8/31/2009 7:32:01 PM | ya I really got screwed. I did test positive for sure with herpies and called her to tell her that infact i do. her reply " thats your own damn fault, now u have a little something to remember me by, dont ever call me again" I held on because i cared. I really didnt notice someone taking self esteem and dignity away in little pieces. If i pile up all the peices its one huge pot. I gave everything i had to this person, love, money, respect, helped her daughter enroll in colledge and paid that. what do i get in return? here U A hole take this and let it ruin the rest of your life. I know i shoudnt care and i know am walking away and know it was stupid. just trying to get over the feelings. thoughts cross my mind of revenge and what i do with all these naked pics and things she sent me? I have to try to be the better person and delete them. who the hell is going to date someone with a std, I feel so dirty and not very proud.
Ok man here it is,its over and done.Pick up the pieces.Move on but,I would try to prosecute her for not advising you of her STD.Lock her ass up and make her pay for your meds.Those pics,save them.Use them against her in court,you can win this if you try.Use better judgement next time.Good luck.  | |
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Posted: 9/1/2009 9:48:08 AM | | i thought about that but i have no proof its her word against mine. All she has to do is say she told me. pfft I thought about using pics to get back at her but that just puts me at her level and could make the situation worse if i got in trouble for it. The only revenge am going to get is be a better person. and one more thing, her and her dad called last night wanting to buy that truck and he is selling his truck to by that one. i said oh sure (he needed 30 days to come up with the money) when he calls to pick it up am just going to say oops i sold it i must have forgot to tell u. Am really not a revenge type of guy but through this all. broken ear drum have to to have surgory and herpies and all sorts of money spent the thought did cross my mind a few time :) | |
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Posted: 9/1/2009 2:37:08 PM | | Cut off all communication and be done with those degenerates. | |
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Posted: 9/1/2009 9:15:59 PM | | am trying, trying to rebuild myself it just dont happen overnight unless people have a good drug , i did love her dont know why and am the piece of shit she says because am weak and put up with it and should have been gone a long time ago and admits to using me. god do i feel like the bigest piece of shit on the planet | |
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Posted: 9/1/2009 9:52:02 PM | | May I suggest you both call Jerry Springer? | |
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Posted: 9/1/2009 10:03:21 PM | | its my fault i let her abuse me cuse i hade nobody else in my life father passed step my commited suscide i just needed affection and love looking in the wrong places they say and she never went to any funereal but i kept giving its over i have to forgive myself for being such a wimp and move on but now am a infected bird and not wanted i soo want revenge but think its not right why are there girls so cruel? | |
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