| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:55:30 PM | | Shallow is what another person wants that you cannot provide. Period. In other words, calling someone shallow is nothing but an ego-saving cop out. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 1:29:39 PM |
When met she found the guy was 400 lbs and had bad teeth. She would be repulsed and never want the guy.
She feels that is not shallow. I feel that is exactly what shallow is.
Did you mean you would date a woman who is over 400 lbs with bad teeth?
Go for it and have fun; otherwise, you are shallow! | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 1:45:18 PM | | I agree it is shallow. However, there is nothing wrong with being shallow. It's just like being selfish. What's wrong with wanting things for yourself? | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 2:07:13 PM |
When met she found the guy was 400 lbs and had bad teeth. She would be repulsed and never want the guy.
Well in all honesty, if we turned that around and it was me who met a girl who turned out to be 400 pounds and had bad teeth, I wouldn't want to date such a girl.
Wanting a partner who is healthy, active and has good hygiene isn't shallow.
Many people speak as if passing on someone because they're obese is shallow.
But the truth is that obesity isn't just visually unappealing, there are lifestyle consequences too.
Sex can become more difficult. Certain activities such as hiking become more difficult or impossible.
If a person is so smart and intelligent, then they should have the smarts and intelligence to do something about a weight problem and also take better care of themselves.
Now I understand that some people with weight issues is because of things like cancer treatment... completely beyond their control.
But while it's not "fair" that the extra weight is held against them, particularly in that circumstance, who said life was fair?
After all, going back to my situation, I didn't initiate the actions that caused my current "separated" status. And that separated status makes it much harder for me to date.
So is that fair? No way. But hey... that's my situation and I have to deal with it. It's up to me to take the necessary actions so that my Separated status turns into a Single/divorced status. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 2:20:10 PM | | Shallow is a relative term that applies to bodies of water. It has no valid application to human relationships, IMO. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 2:22:38 PM | Shallow means apparent, not profound, deep, or thorough.
The woman wasn't shallow but showed her deep thoughts about the 400lbs man. As she doesn't take any advantage of others; she has the right to do what she likes with her own resources. The man doesn't take care of himself, which means he lacks an ability to be responsible for his own life. Then what else can he do? In adition, a recent study from UCLA is that Obese People Have Brain Atrophy. There are so many problems in the obese man. Dating is about chemistry not pity. She can (but not must) tell him to exercise and lose weight for her compassion to him. The man should slove his own problems not complaining about any another. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 4:04:22 PM |
Shallow is what another person wants that you cannot provide. Period. In other words, calling someone shallow is nothing but an ego-saving cop out.
Excellent! | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:52:34 PM | Slamn So what I am to understand is the guy that without any meaningful conversation or meeting , whom immediately ask pants and breast size; Who does not know me from Adam, who has decided to date only women under size 10 with more a D cup or more is not SHALLOW ??? And Furthermore it is my OR anyones rejected ego, let down because I could not provide this for him  " that's just his or hers "preferrance" After all we do have preferences! Why isn't that special! SPECIAL... YES Because I
wouldn't give his SHALLOW ASS THE TIME OF DAY.
BUT I DO SEE THAT WE ALL HAVE "PRECONCIEVED", NOTIONS, EXPECTATIONS AND WANTS THAT WE DREAM OF IN A PARTNER.
Point taken.
Should they matter ..... should they preclude or conclude the relationship that could be? Well Dear if it really matters to you ....If thats what you really want. ... We all know it is shallow..... But everyone is entitled to their opinion, likes and dislikes...
and wants ...WHATEVER; I STILL SAY SHALOW!! SHALLOW!!! SHALLOW!!!!, SHALLOW!!!!. SHALLOW!!!. ... Now let me take my big ars to bed. LOL LOL
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:11:38 PM | | Come on. I'm 5'6" tall. I weight 127. I do not want to be seen with a big boy. I have expectations. I have some desire to be with a person who is taller than I and NOT excuse the foul language, "FAT". I am not shallow. I have standards. That's all. Enough said. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 9:19:49 PM | OP, this is nonsense.
Your definition of shallow is simply your opinion, and not an accurate one at that.
You're talking about a world where we're all Gandhi's dating Mother Teresa's.....NOT!
Go ahead and make pretend that eros doesn't matter or doesn't exist. See how that works out for you.
Oh, and be sure that you ALWAYS regard with agape love every woman you meet, and be sure not to have any sexual thoughts. You might go to hell for that! | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:05:18 PM | I agree with the following...
Shallow is when you are choosing someone because of what other people think versus what you think. However, if you find yourself attracted to someone and they are overweight, but you refuse to date them because you are concerned with what other people will think about you, then that is shallow.
If I am dating someone I do hope that they will be accepted by my friends but in the end it is my/our happiness that is most important. If my friends didn't accept someone I chose to be with because of how they look...I may end up loosing a friend.
It doesn't matter how good the intellectual realtionship is if there is no physical attraction. As humans we are visual creatures, what we see get us excited (not neccessarily meant in a sexual way). There has to be a balance between the two. I have no set physical idea of my "perfect" mate. There are aspects that I may be more attracted to than others. I am no more attracted to a very skinny man than I am to an excessively overwieght man. Both are extremes that I am not attracted to. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:11:03 AM | "Shallow" is a term made up by unattractive people in an attempt to make attractive people feel guilty about rejecting them. Physical attractiveness and physical chemistry are JUST as important as connecting with someone's mind, soul and heart. You are really naive if you think otherwise.
Also, your ridiculous assertion that because most normal people care about physicality means they would immediately discard someone if they were in a horrible disfiguring accident, is one of the most idiotic things i've read on these forums. Especially coming from someone who proclaims he is not judgemental. Using physicality as one factor, of many, to determine whether you would like to date someone further, HARDLY means that once a relationship is established you would dump someone because they were in a horrible car accident (or whatever). Even suggesting so is indicative of someone not remotely in touch with reality. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:10:22 AM | I fear that people really don't know what the word means at all.
It's used to inaccurately describe any human who dares to be discriminating in terms of who they find attractive. The irony is that this function is from the realm of FEELING and is located in the body itself.
In other words, such things are not wholly rational decisions but feelings, so how can a feeling preference be termed "shallow?"
To all of the folks who said that they themselves are shallow....you've been had. You're not shallow at all; you just want to feel some real passion in your lives. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:36:03 AM | OP
Your example is too extreme IMO. I then will consider myself super shallow.
Having a weight problem, you don't need to add to it bad hygiene.
I'd say we have all the right to be repulsed by people that dont have good hygiene habits.
Now if the story would be that the person you meet is just short, or bald, or had a limping leg, then I could agree more with the shallow qualification.
I also agree that we all have our tastes and are attracted to certain types and repulsed by other types. Maybe that shallow, but hey, this is life. We have the freedom to chose what we like and what we don't, and if that makes us shallow then we are.
Shallow to me is thinking that only if you are attractive you have the right to marry the handsome or the pretty people. Shallow is to be going after only wealthy people without any other consideration. Shallow to me is giving importance to not the core values but ONLY to the show off values, such as look only, height only, etc etc | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:48:20 PM | | If a man can't live the lifestyle that I live now, which includes walking, running, and other things, he's not someone that I'm going to even be able to share activities with, to say the least. Not to mention that he somehow thought this would be overlooked at the first meeting if he kept it secret. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:47:54 PM | Shallow is when you are choosing someone because of what other people think versus what you think. If you aren't attracted to someone with bad teeth or someone who is overweight, those aren't your attraction switches. However, if you find yourself attracted to someone and they are overweight, but you refuse to date them because you are concerned with what other people will think about you, then that is shallow.
Good example, but wouldn't that make one more of a hypocrite than shallow? | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:56:31 PM | Shallow is when you pour what everyone else had in their cup into yours and then smirk and say "your cup is almost empty"  | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:13:03 PM | Shallow is our and our ancestors' way of applying a utility function to several dimensions of our potential mate (one of which is 'looks'). If the value is above a certain threshold the partner is a candidate for a future together. He or she still needs to be shagged silly before fully qualifying.
You and your ancestors may be waaay more profound by picking a mate in form of an arranged marriage. Score 1 for Apu, 0 for Homer. Ooops, was that shallow or racist? It doesn't matter, because my opinion is that you are full of it, if you seriously believe it is shallow to reject a candidate with two extreme negatives 'just' because they fall into the looks category. Watch 'Shallow Hal' if you wish - it is a frigging comedy. And if those things are what you are looking for (fat and toothless), then you are not less shallow, you just had a different utility function.
Preferences are not shallow. Is it shallow to prefer green over red? A sweater over a shirt? Shoes over sandals? Rice over potatoes? Tom-uh-toes over Tom-ay-toes? You can prefer whatever you want for whichever reason you want in your private life. Why should that not apply to weight or breast size of your partner? Have you ever walked past a smelly and unkempt homeless person and felt you should give him/her a romantic chance in order not to be called shallow? I'm with the girl on this one, sorry. | |
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| What is shallow?
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:21:28 PM | | As much as I want to side with you on the shallow thing, i can't because you are attracted to what you are attracted to. I mean what do you want? the person to get into a relationship and waste both their times, come on there has to be some attraction physically, it goes on in the animal world doesn't it? Aren't Humans animals too? People have the right to date/marry anyone they want for any reason they want, whether it's looks, money, personality, interests, etc. | |
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