| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:23:11 PM | | OP, dating, relationships and the whole thing is all BS. The minute you fall in love you pretty seal your faith and it’s usually the beginning of the end. I learned to control my feelings and build huge walls after so many women crushed my heart in the blended. NEVER again! All up to you! If not, get used to it as it WILL happen again..... | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:15:10 PM | ya women are ****es man.. that shit happens.. my ex did something similiar.. not quite as bad as that though Lol.
and women wonder why guys are so emotionally detached and "players", we have to be cause of the shit you crazy women do to us. | |
|
btg22
|
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 28 | |
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:32:48 PM | | Really heartbreaking story, I know that she is just a girl that isn't ready to settle down or be committed...I mean she is 19..so I'm not at all surprised. I see that it is a common thing for younger people in general. Nothing lasts a good 6 months even, its bf/gf after bf/gf with no signs of the dating game ever retiring. Maybe someone around your age will be more on your level next time. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:51:27 AM | Chris, my heart goes out to you.
She's 19 and in that phase of wanting to "explore" herself in all ways, including sexually. 19-26 is a soul-searching time. Sorry she lost heart for ya but sometimes this s--t just runs its course. Six months is always the most intense, most euphoric time in any new relationship. Then (sigh) things have a tendency to start to cool down and the rubber really meets the road as far as "true love" setting in...domestic issues, whether or not you want to get married and have kids. Since she's in "magic time" and is young, she doesn't want to think about that stuff yet (and she shouldn't--she's young). It's all about sex sex sex at that age (and it should be--she's young).
You're right to not want to be "just friends" and hear about Mr. Money Bags and how wonderful he is from the sweetie of your life who is banging him. I couldn't stand hearing about that either. You're right to want to cut off all contact. OF COURSE she thinks you're being childish or whatever--SHE'S the one who (so far) has come out smelling like a rose!
I suppose the reason for the sweatshirt is she wants to keep you on a string as a backup, in case Mr. Money Bags doesn't work out. I know exactly how their minds work. Forget it. Don't worry, karma will take care of this one. Mr. Money Bags will tire of her too as soon as she gets preggo and puts on a little weight (!). Or, maybe not. Either way, they'll be out of YOUR life.
Meanwhile, count your blessings that you don't have a kid to raise and pay for out of wedlock conceived with her, concentrate on another hottie...or just fly solo for awhile...exercise, get plenty of sleep and watch a lot of movies where you can safely emote (cry, channel rage) into fictitious characters, without fear of being judged. It's what I do and it really helps. | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 9/28/2009 10:14:06 AM | So far it has been a month of NO CONTACT and I have to admit I just hit the floor this morning and couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I was on my*space last night browsing old comments and there is one with Ony talking about the movie "Pineapple Express" and wouln't you know it. At the same time I was watching the damn movie on TV. Flippin' weird. It just kind of shocked my system because it was so ironic. Meanwhile, I made a dumb mistake accepting all these tagged photos and there is one with Ony and I. We looked so happy. Then I followed my dumb mistake with an even bigger one. I looked at her my*space. I saw that her status is single and that just made me think of "oh! maybe there is a chance here?!?". It's my own stupid fault. I felt compelled to go to her page and now I feel even more gravity pulling at me to call her or see her again. Although, I know it would be a terrible idea to do either of those two things. Of all the girls I've been with she is the one that really got into my head and into my heart. My first love. What an experience that I have to battle my way through and get over.
Now that I re-read what I just wrote I realise what an idiot I was. Why was I even browsing old comments? I'm a fool. I knew I would run into her old comments. I need to break out of this pattern. It's like I'm addicted to my own personal torment. The fact that I am even looking at her my*space is a stupid, STUPID idea. It's like I am going to her page wishing something would pop-up in her status like ,"I miss you Chris!". I feel like slapping myself in the face right now. What am I thinking?!?!?
Anyways, despite all that "emo" stuff as some of you guys here would say I am still moving and improving. I bought myself a new acustic and electric guitar. I am working on remodeling my room and overhaul my wardrobe. Doing a lot of reading. I signed up to get a personal trainer at my gym(first session is today), going to a tattoo expo to get my first tat, updated my PoF profile, and I'm still having fun meeting new girls 
P.S.
I am not on here seeking anyones sympathy or to be attacked. First most, I am here because writing helps me channel my emotions and I also am wanting and seeking advice from people who have been through this kind of thing. So if anyone has read this and has anything to share it will be greatly appreciated. | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:57:37 PM | OP, thanks for the update.
You are on the right track. NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!
Remember, time heals all. | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:31:35 PM | I have been down that road more times then I care to think about. I have found that it is just easier to delete all phone numbers, addresses, emails, photos,etc. as though the person never existed.
If they put you through hell once...then why give them a second chance to do it to you again? She may be hot...but she is a liar and a cheater...unless you are willing to put up with the crap she is dishing out dump her and move on.
Good luck. | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:32:50 AM | | Just want to say keep it up. There will come a time when you will run across her and not feel a thing. I promise. :) Keep writing here whenever you need to. I just ran across this thread as I am going through a similar situation, and just want you to feel some support and also let you know it is helping me with my situation as well. | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:04:27 AM | | The only thing that will help is time. I have been getting over one woman for a year now and it still hurts the same as it did back then. I have done all the usual things, leaned on friends, took up a hobby, filled my days with work. I filled every waking moment with things to do so I would not be able to think about her, but still I was dreaming about her almost every night. Then I started not sleeping b/c I didnt want to dream about her, even took sleeping pills so I would be able to sleep. But after a year and a bit the pain is finally going away a little bit, and I have even been having desires to start dating again. It is not easy but the pain will go away, eventually that is. Good luck. | |
|
| *** another update ***
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:04:02 PM | | Well, the other day I broke the NO CONTACT rule. I sent her a text just wanting to say hi and see how's she was doing. She responded saying she was good but didnt want to start talking or have any sort of conversation because she was upset of some petty my*space status I put up almost a 2 months ago. I put in my mood status "better than u" and I forgot all about it but she says that was rude and mean. I sent a text back apologizing about that and she said "well thats great but that was still rude" and that she would talk to me later but not for awhile. Not sure what to make of all that, but it sure bummed me out. I'm still not quite over her and yes I still love her. I would freeze the ocean and walk across it if I could just hold her in my arms again for only a moment :( | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:47:15 AM | I want to make you feel good.
I think you are a good lover. That’s what kept her coming back for more sex before settling completely for the other guy. In other words, she used you for sex after the relationship was over. You said goodbye but she didn't as she wanted to stay friend because there still is that intimacy bond. She wants you to come get your T-shirt so that she can say goodbye.
There a book titled: “If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs” If she ever try to have sex with you again say NO. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:50:13 AM | Hey there
Read your take and am sorry you are hurting, time heals all things and I suspect in this case you'll be happy she is long gone. Take some time and heal and choose more wisely next time.
NO CONTACT...............NONE....seriously no contact.....shall I write it again?NO CONTACT
I have a daughters this age and on good days they doesn't poke themselves in the forehead with their forks. Love em to death but they could well be the definition of dumb arses if Websters combined words.
Frankly I can't keep track of the flavor of the week....nor much care as they drift in and out of the doors looking much the same. Each break up lasts about 2-3 days then its the next flavor.
Girls this age care about a few things.....let me elaborate......like my nails, so and so it a bioatch, What color should I get my hair, so and so is a bioatch, so and so is so hot ( but wait that will change in a week and he'll be a fag), lets go shopping, can I have some money, help me I'm lazy and pathetic.
thats pretty much it...be glad she is gone, reality will sort her out, if her parents don't suffocate her first. For that matter go buy a new swetshirt, her flavor of the month probably is wearing it anyways.
Cheer up I have good news she is gone and you are FREE | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:42:27 AM | Ok... Here is what happened...
You met, it was great, time went by you got to know each other better, she started to think that as "great" as you were, "something" just wasn't there...
She backed off, but still had some type of pull towards you, unfortunately just not as strong as you do.
It may be her age, it may be that she is just confused, or it may just be that she is distracted with other men, other ex's, other lover's, whatever..
Either way, you can't make her feel more then she does. I know your confused, I know it sucks, and I know your heartbroken.
I know all that cause I went thru it as well.
Look OP, all you can do is completely break away from this girl.
Otherwise you will continue your torture, your questions, even if answered by her will never be what you want them to be, and you will never be able to give another person a chance..
It's very hard, and I feel for you.
My consolation was that I was not the only person in the world who went thru this. You are not alone, and lots of us understand your situation. Change your number, email, whatever.
End contact, if you don't ,it is you who will continue to be hurt..
JJ | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:39:31 AM | | I need some thoughts on this. It has now been over three months since I have seen her and the hole in my heart is still there. I love her still. I want to give it another shot. I have written a heart-felt letter. Really letting it pour out. Basically saying how I felt when I first met her, the reasons why I fell in love, and in closing that I want to start new and get to know her all over again. She is my gravity. If I had a star for everytime she had brightened my day I would have a galaxy in my hands. She is the girl I want to share my life with. It is my last resort. If I send this letter it is out of my hands. I just am unsure about the timing because last time we talked she was upset over some status comments on my*space. I feel lost without her. Am I just torturing myself or should I give this letter a try?? | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:34:51 AM | You are torturing yourself. Give it up already. All you are doing is humiliating yourself. NO CONTACT EVER!!!!!!!!!
It is over OP, forever. Why degrade and humiliate yourself for someone WHO DOESN'T WANT YOU?!!!!!! She does not love you. She is with someone else. Get it now?
Sorry to be harsh but you need it. Move on, forget her. Go get laid fer chrissakes. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:12:36 AM | | Yep...nothing will give your ex a better case of the warm and fuzzys than a bleeding heart love letter from someone that she thought she dumped over three months ago. You have offically crossed over from sad sack to creepy stalker. Move on already | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:19:32 AM | Dude... Dude, dude.
Man.
I gave you solid advice in this thread before. SOLID. What did you do with that advice?? FLUSHED IT.
You are now in stalkerville. Let her go. She's not into you man. Let her go. In 2 years, after intense therapy, she'll be a blip on your radar. Ha.
Do you honestly think she's worth this torture? There are women far greater for you to stalk down the line. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:42:16 AM | | Alright... alright. My friends all said the same things you guys have said in response to my post this morning. It's over. I don't want to be that creepy-stalker guy. I'm better than that. Thanks for the "reality" slap. I needed to hear that. Thanks for your support. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:19:31 AM | Chris, I know exactly how you feel, and I am 64 years old. It hurts like haedes! But, think about this. Maybe God didn't want you with her; you know, HE does know us better than we know ourselves and he knows what will really hurt us bad down the line, if that's not bad enough. But, just know this......there are many many sweet gals out there that are just waiting for a true love like your capable of. So, break off all ties and thank your lucky stars that there is someone out there that you will love even more.....IN HIS TIME. God Bless, Chris.....
Adelle | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:25:16 AM | Chris, you're human; you do what we all do from time to time....we take chances.
But, I"m glad to hear you are moving on. BTW.....I have a son named Chris, so all Chris's get my attention. I've done exactly the same thing you are doing........its just our nature, to love and to love deeply. Its so easy to think "He's the love of my life; how can I live without him!" But, Chris, as humans, God gave us the ability to love more than one person........THANK GOD!! I"m not dating anyone but there is someone out there for me. And, until then, I'll do as you are doing and stay busy, and DON'T THINK!! | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:26:09 AM | | Well said, Lacey!! | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:28:13 AM | ndub, I think it takes a good 3 years if you've really really loved someone....at least.
That's how long it took me to get over my deceased husband.....still not over it but at least I can function and enjoy life again. | |
|
| *** another update ***
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:30:35 AM | | Chris, if you keep this up its going to kill you.....I mean it. Is she worth it??? She will do it again to you.......I"ve lived a long time Chris.....learn from an old woman. lol | |
|
| ***UPDATE***
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:32:58 AM | She's just 19, forget her as she will no doubt think the next guy after that one will be equally amazing. You need to forget younger women, and as some said, women can be equally as bad as men in the sweep all emotion away stakes anyway.
Learning to love yourself goes along way to helping protect yourself. | |
|
| I didn't expect this at all
Posted: 11/12/2009 8:27:55 PM | Wow dude! I've been in very similar shoes and it sucked for me, so I can empathize with you on that. It took me a long time to get over it. Now looking back I wish did the no contact thing sooner. I think I would have gotten over it in a speedier manner.
Since you broke the no contact rule. I say you just pick up your sweatshirt and throw it in the garbage, or tell her to do it, and seriously don't contact her anymore. Don't allow it to be connected to your emotions, it'll just hurt you more. I made the mistake of letting every little thing remind me of her. Jeez, I couldn't even listen to some of my favorite artists b/c they reminded me of her. Yeah, it sounds stupid I know.
To me, it sounds as if she is still very immature and selfish. You can find someone better than her! Don't you owe it to yourself to have someone better, someone who would consider your feelings? I would not try to get back with her if I were you. It's something that you might really regret later down the road when the pain spikes b/c of a reoccurring situation.
The only thing in my opinion that will heal your wound and spirit is time. It's just what you decide to do with that time before revert back to your normal self that counts.
Good luck buddy! | |
|
Home
login 
