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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:05:08 PM | | Its a difficult question because you need to find someone who can handle you and any problems that might happen. Its difficult enough being in relationships, but it is even more difficult when someone is suffering from a mental or physical illness. Not all people can handle it, but I think there are a lot of caring people out there as well. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:18:00 PM | I can be MORE ironic than most. This one I'll answer with MORE kindness and thoughtfulness than my other posts.
I got a good feeling about your situation from your post.
1st, I admire your self-awareness. That in itself will help you pursue help when needed, as well as a course of action to move through life.
You have a tough row to hoe as they say. Be honest and get dumped
Be duplicitous and get dumped much later, but still dumped.
2nd & probably more important, You have to be willing to adjust your expectations to the reality you are living. By that I mean you MAY wind up in a series of long but short term relationships where your issues cause those you connect with to be compelled to end it with you.
the UP side is that you will have a wealth of experiences with different women. Sadly, the downside is that the time between will be somewhat alone and disconnected.
think of the life of an adventuror. He sailed the sea searching.. Like the song "brandy" where his life his love and his lady was the sea.
Your self-awareness is a good thing. Honesty IS the best policy. It gives the woman a chance to decline the pain. I'm sure you wouldnt wish your deepest darkest moment on ANYONE, after living through it yourself.
I could type more but feel it would be excessive.
I wish you well | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 9/10/2009 3:39:49 AM | Been there done that..One of my ex's was manic-depressive/Bi-Polar ..wow what an emotional rollercoaster..I definitly would NOT go there again. I understand it is a problem that most cannot control..and sometimes yes medication can work for them but not always and not everyone. It dragged me down emotionally..physically..I became just as depressed as he was. Nope never again.  | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:31:31 AM | Brittany (Sorry, can't find all the nifty signs on my computer),
Bi-polar and depression really aren't the same thing. Manic-Depression (as it is currently termed) is a far greater problem than depression. Op sounds like he has the typical garden variety depression (My apologies Op, I know that it feels like it is not garden variety.) Without knowing him better, I could not hazard to guess.
I have lived with a Manic-Depressive. I agree that the ride is really one of a rollercoaster. However, depression can be a much easier ride.
It was not until recently that depression was taken seriously by the medical community (with, of course, the help of drug companies.) Until then, it was only diagnosed in severe cases. Most people suffered in silence. I applaud Op's truthfulness and hope that this is not a life long diagnosis (only 3-5% cases of depression are clinical - needing lifelong therapy and SSRI's - Prozac). In fact 1 in 5 prescriptions that family doctors write are now for antidepressants. (Don't quote my numbers. I heard them from a professor and am not sure of their validity.)
Op, I would reveal myself to people on a need to know basis. No sense going on a coffee meet and announcing everything. I would wait until I see if there is some kind of chemistry and then, if I start to value the person, I would reveal this personal info. I don't think you would tell a person how much is in your bank account on the first meet, would you?
Keep working on yourself. Depression is not a problem without a solution. The brain can do wondrous things, as scientists are beginning to discover. Be kind to yourself! | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:53:23 PM | Having quite recently come out of a relationship with someone who suffered from depression, at this point I have to say I would have a very hard time going there again.
The first few months of the relationship were fine and she was quite "normal", however after a few problems and stresses in her life she began to suffer worse and worse bouts of depression. I tried to be understanding, and I tried to be there for her and support her through these times, but she would not let me. Instead, she would go cold and distant, shut me out, and act like I was something nasty on her shoe.
Worse still, whilst in these depressions she would become convinced that all of the problems in her life were MY fault, and that (at least this is how it felt to me) I was a horrible person who hurt her and made her unhappy (this was one of the most shocking things about it, because I loved her deeply and never did anything but treat her well and try to be supportive.)
These bouts of depression became steadily worse and more frequent, and, though I did my best to be supportive, eventually they destroyed our relationship. One of the problems was that she would not seek help; every time she came out of a depression she would apologise and promise to do something, but then do nothing and the cycle would start again.
When someone is constantly treating you like this, no matter how understanding you try to be, it is hard not to take it personally. It's also very frustrating because you love this person and want to help them, but you feel helpless because you can't do anything, and if they won't help themselves then it's doomed.
Eventually while in one of her depressions she stopped talking to me for three days, and then contacted me accusing me of hurting her and making her unhappy and so on (when in fact I had done nothing) and ended the relationship. I wrote her a letter a few days later telling her that I still loved her and wanted to help her, but I haven't heard from her since.
And I suppose that is that.... Erm, I can honestly say that I don't think I could put myself in a situation where I know I would have to go through something like that again. I understand she was suffering from an illness, but how many times can a person put up with such treatment?
So no I don't think so. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:27:20 PM | | Thats an unfair double-standard we have in society, it's okay for women to be depressed and feel lonely, but not okay for men. Men will most of the time date and give a Woman who has low self-esteem a chance, but most Women will not give a chance to Men. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:08:38 PM | Hey buddy.See how when you dont mention your depression that things go better for you?Well I have a nother trick to beating the periods of withdraw.Go fishing,real fishing that is.Everytime you feel like withdrawing go fishing and let yourself withdraw.its hard to explain but most people like to go fishing by them selves and withdraw anyway so your kinda exchangeing an unwanted withdraw for a wanted withdraw.You can say to yourself" I'm not withdrawing,I'm fishing!"
It helps.. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:51:37 PM | | I might. It would depend very much on the person just like anyone else, I, when choosing a partner, would have to get to know them and feel as though there was something worth pursuing. I myself have suffered from depression. Am right now in fact. But depression is something we suffer with, not who we are. And therefore, just like any challenge, must be dealt with appropriately. And that's the hard part. Sounds like you're trying. Keep it up and good things will follow! Blessings! | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:23:21 PM | I wouldn't. I was married to someone severely bi-polar for twelve years, and it just about killed me. It was a nightmarish roller-coaster and he didn't respond well to medication. I think I'm just not made of the right stuff to deal with something like that. Even plain old depression would be too much for me to handle.
I'm really glad there are people who are better built for dealing with this sort of thing, and I hope you find one of them. Overall, you seem very self-aware and proactive in dealing wit it, so that should make it even easier. Best of luck to you! | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:24:48 PM | At your age, I was willing to and did form relationships with emotionally disordered men. At the time, I did not know the extent of their illness.
Today, at almost 60, I would never enter into such a relationship again. It was too taxing on my own emotional wellness. May I ask, would you date someone who suffers from depression? Perhaps through the mental health community, you could meet someone who shares your condition and insight. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:29:07 AM | | Depression is an illness like anything else and can be treated through therapy and medication so i don't see it as a problem. I have known people with a mental illness and there minds can play tricks on them and can become paranoid or paralyzed with fear but it is the illness not the person. No person wants to have a mental illness and it is painful to see a person in that state and you just wish you could take the pain away so i wouldn't be discouraged by a mood disorder. Im much more discouraged by other things like mind games and the like. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:01:17 AM | "Depression is an illness like anything else and can be treated through therapy and medication so i don't see it as a problem. I have known people with a mental illness and there minds can play tricks on them and can become paranoid or paralyzed with fear but it is the illness not the person. No person wants to have a mental illness and it is painful to see a person in that state and you just wish you could take the pain away so i wouldn't be discouraged by a mood disorder. Im much more discouraged by other things like mind games and the like."
Quote from "curiousaboutU77" posted yesterday -
Apparently, it must take the wisdom of age to comment on this common psychological problem with some insight....!!
As a male who has suffered from clinical depression (and has successfully been treated with appropriate medications) for the past 10 years, The condition arises from many different reasons - Chemical imbalance in the brain (common!) , inherited condition and other family members suffer from it as well. IE: Father, Mother, Brothers, Sisters.... Personal experiences such as PTSD suffered by many combat veterans, psychological trauma (rape, incest, child molestation) and other cause not fully understood by the medical community.
Many people who suffer from this condition, themselves DO NOT RECOGNIZE the signs and symptoms of clinical depression and therefore fail to seek medical help.
Clinical depression can express itself in many different ways but...the most common symptoms are: Lack of energy, fatigue, loss of appetite, lack of interest in activities which formerly gave you pleasure (examples - playing tennis, riding motorcycles, listening to your favorite music, dancing and even your vocation....!!), not wanting to interact with people, sleeping excessively OR not sleeping enough, lack of self-worth, suicidal thoughts or attempts...!! Not every individual suffers from ALL of these symptoms, but the majority do.
The treatment of clinical depression can take many different approaches : combinations of appropriate medications (which is trial & error, by the way!), clinical therapy with a trained counselor, ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) or combinations of any or all of the above.
The most important thing is that the individual must recognize the problem and seek therapy.......and WANT to get better...!!
Patience is also needed on the part of both the individual and family members since the pharmacological treatment is truly "trail & error" and the medication MUST be taken for at least 4-6 weeks before the patient will even notice any improvement....!
Do not stop after 2 weeks just because you are not feeling any better.!! AND keep a positive outlook (if possible) that ONE of the meds or a combination of them will eventually help.
In my case - it took 7 months of trial & error to finally arrive at the correct combination of medications......!! DO NOT GIVE UP.!!
Now....to the original question: "WOULD I DATE SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION?"
My answer is: YES........If they are controlled and in a stable state.
Suffering from depression = NOT BEING TREATED APPROPRIATELY...OR....NOT BEING TREATED, AT ALL....!!
Controlled depression is no different than controlled diabetes or controlled arthritis or any other medical condition. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:43:07 PM |
Suffering from depression = NOT BEING TREATED APPROPRIATELY...OR....NOT BEING TREATED, AT ALL....!!
Right on, Doc; I like that.
I have depression. I choose not to suffer.
Stay well, all.
BG | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:41:49 PM | I think I would if the man was stable and emotionally intelligent. In fact, I might feel more at ease with someone who had 'controlled depression' or at least some understanding of it. I have 3 yrs depression free but am always hesitant about sharing this info because of my own experiences of biasness and misunderstanding. I am proud of the work I've done on myself but feel restricted and shy about sharing even simple things like past history and interests to any one new.
I would date a man with depression before I would someone who makes immediate judgements about mental health before getting to know me. | |
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| would you date someone who suffers from depression?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:20:05 PM | I suffer from 'Treatment Resistant Depression" or "Refractory Depression" and the common course of treatment is MAOI's.
The fact is that, after 35 years of depression and all sorts of medicinal treatments, the Nardil works and damned good.
The majority of people have no idea I suffer so horribly from this serious chemical imbalance.
To suggest that people need to get on with their lives, get busy, stay active etc. is to clearly misunderstand the problem; however, that is quite normal.
When I met my husband and we started seriously dating, I sat him down one night and told him how I felt about him. While he was smiling, I also stated that he needs to know absolutely EVERYTHING there about me. He said it was not necessary, but I needed to tell him for ME, not him.
The monologue lasted about 45 minutes. I shared so many good and bad things, the struggles, the tears, the wins, the losses, the glimmers of hope and of course my medical conditions. I hoped he would understand.
He did more than that. He held me and told me how strong he thought I was, how brave to have told him.
You see, the truth is the truth and he had a right to know.
Am I easy to live with? For the most part, yes. I am a 51 year old female, finishing menopause that works hard, studies hard, is duty oriented, nerdy and somewhat prone to emotions.
Am I worth it?
Apparently enough to fall in love with and marry.
For better or worse.....................and we pray for more of the former than the latter.
^^BG^^ | |
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