LFGPST
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Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 26 | |
| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:30:25 AM | I caught herpes from a girl, it was a one night stand after a club. I was wearing a comdom. The condom never slipped off, ripped, it was working perfectly fine. Was I being promiscuous that evening? For sure. Have I had a lot of one night stands? Not really...Some guys have slept with over 30 women, I don't even come close to that number. If one out of 4 women are carriers, it doesn't take a math genius to figure out how risky sex is...
CONDOMS DO NOT PROTECT AGAINST HERPES. Many of you could be carriers and not know it. In fact, statistically, it's very likely that someone in the thread has genital herpes and does not know it. It would be an anomaly if that wasn't the case. I went to the doctor when I had a symptom, and I was told it WAS NOT herpes.
In the same year I found a girl I really liked. She became my gf and I gave her herpes. It made me feel completely ****ing awful, since I had an outbreak right after we had sex one night and that was my second outbreak. I had been misdiagnosed by the doctor. I was ****ed up emotionally for at least 3-4 months. I told her I would understand if she could not forgive me, but we are both adults, and we dealt with it. She didn't leave me and we remained a very happy couple.
The actual effects of herpes don't bother me so much, but the psychological effects really hurt me.
So all of you, just a word of warning. If you DO find out you have herpes, don't let it get to you to the extent I did. A persons health is rarely perfect. It does not make you "dirty". It doesn't make a you a worse person than you were before. All you have is a slight skin irritation for which there is extremely effective medication.
Also, there is currently research for a vaccine to prevent herpes infections. I am guessing within the next 2-3 years we could see it become a reality. For an infected person, this is great news since they could get their potential partner inoculated before sex to avoid further infections. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:51:12 AM | mycroft74:
score another point for a dumb chick that had sex with a loser. how many more times you gonna do that???
...How many fingers am I holding buddy? | |
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LFGPST
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Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 28 | |
| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:30:22 PM | | What I meant to say is condoms do not ALWAYS protect against herpes. Also, they protect women more than men | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:46:39 PM | Who cares how she got the herpes, the fact of the matter is that she has them.
OP: I would actually hold off trying to rush back into a relationship. This guy doesn't seem eager to restart the relationship, he only expressed a regret. Big Difference. Seconly, March is a long way away, and a lot of things can happen. If he does start mentioning that he wants to move beyond friendship, then you need to tell him that you now have a STD which has no cure. Don't be surprised if he bolts, which is another reason why you need to step back and not overly invest in a relationship which could just evaporate. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:35:16 PM | | OP it sounds like this guy really likes you so tell him and see what happens. Explain everything about herpes to him and give him some breathing space to take in the news. The decision is out of your hands but if he cares about you then he may just surprise you. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:56:45 PM |
As for the karmic thing, your statement of "if" is most accurate. Since karma doesn't exist, I suppose I have nothing to worry about, since I actually apply common sense and avoid behavior that would lead to me contracting an STD. Likewise, however, on the extraordinarily off chance that the silly eastern mysticism-based concept did exist, what would make you think that you're the one who could determine or predict its outcome? Silentman, do you ALWAYS wear a condom and make sure ALL your sexual partners are tested regularly? Even with those precautions, it IS possible to contract an STD from someone else. Condoms are not failsafe and a person can get infected during the time span between blood tests. The ONLY 100% safe way to guarantee you never come down with an STD is to completely abstain from any sexual activity. Somehow, I don't think that is an option you, or the majority of us, would choose.
I, too, think what she is doing is the right thing to do. What I take exception with is your condescending attitude that it cannot happen to you and that those it has happened to are somehow to blame. That is absurd. She contracted the disease from a boyfriend with whom she was in a monogamous relationship. She wasn't being careless. He either didn't know he had herpes, or he didn't tell her. This is how the majority of people get the disease. And, as I stated earlier, I am passionate about it because I have friends to whom this has happened. Also, my late husband contracted HIV through a blood transfusion in the 1980's, when he had to have a triple bypass. I suppose that was his fault also? We didn't find out he was HIV positive until 6 weeks after we were married. Fortunately, I wasn't infected, but I easily could have been.
Not everyone who gets HIV, or an STD, participated in unsafe, reckless behavior. To label them all that way is inappropriate. And anyone who feels that is ignorant. That is, and was, the point of my post.
Engage in risky behavior, and potentially suffer the consequences. Someone who contracted an STD is, for me, no longer an option. One, it puts me at risk for contracting the disease if we're intimate, and two, it tells me such a person didn't show a lot of forethought in how they conducted themselves, and they made a bad choice that now not only affects them, but could potentially affect others in their life. Put simply, I have little room in my life for people who make choices there's more than enough readily-available education to help them avoid making those choices.
You don't think you sound arrogant and holier-than-thou in this paragraph? | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:07:37 PM | | ^^^ Not to mention ignorant. No one who knows this little is likely ever to have been tested for either HSV - he probably doesn't even know there's no blood test for gonorrhea or chlamydia and they have to be done by culture. This is exactly the kind of person who puts others at risk without knowing it, because he thinks he does know. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:46:36 PM |
^^^ Not to mention ignorant. No one who knows this little is likely ever to have been tested for either HSV - he probably doesn't even know there's no blood test for gonorrhea or chlamydia and they have to be done by culture. This is exactly the kind of person who puts others at risk without knowing it, because he thinks he does know.
Exactly... I just went today and did the tests, and the doctor actually told me it's pointless to even bother testing for HSV because she said that nowadays, more and more people get type 1 on their genitals, so the blood test can be very misleading since it'll show as positive if you ever got a cold sore in your life, even as a 2 year old. She said that usually, they only test if you show symptoms. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:16:40 PM | | I'm still waiting for someone to back their "statistics" with data from a reputable source. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:32:32 PM | this is from the CDC, is that a good enough reference for you???
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm#common
sexyfunguy: He has said he wants the relationship back. But we are waiting till I move there in march to make it official. Until then, we are kinda doing a long distance thing and plan on staying single. He is coming to visit later in the fall so now I have to tell him sooner. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:37:42 PM | That oughta do it.
Honestly, it isn't like it's hard to do a search for this stuff oneself. The Quest Diagnostics info - they came up with the test that differentiates between HSV1 and HSV2 - is quite thorough, too, and will come up in any search on herpes testing. The CDC's format may be a little more readily accessible to the average reader.
And of course I already mentioned Planned Parenthood earlier in the topic. They're in the business of knowing about these things, too.
He is coming to visit later in the fall so now I have to tell him sooner.
Eek! ... OTOH, it'll be easier in person, by far. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:49:05 PM | well in person scares the hell out of me. I dont think I can handle rejection face to face. I have always done it over the phone when I tell someone. He isnt coming to just see me, his sister lives here and had a baby recently. So, I dont feel the need to tell him so he can decide to come or not; he was coming anyway.
I actually found out thru planned parenthood that I had hsv 2. They gave me a lot of information. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:58:12 PM | | Oh another thing!! The ass that gave it to me is in the military and moved to Germany about 4 years ago. When I signed up on here guess who sent me an email!!! He is back and is on here!! He emailed me to ask how I was. I was pissed, I asked him if he tells girls he has herpes. He still claims he doesnt have it and that I cant prove I got it from him when I KNOW I got it from him!!!! He has never been tested and doesnt care and isnt telling anyone~!! I would love to post a huge sign on POF with his face on it saying he is hsv positive!!!! AGGGH makes me soooo mad! | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:06:01 PM |
Quest Diagnostics info - they came up with the test that differentiates between HSV1 and HSV2
Yes, but I think Valerie's doc just meant a positive blood test won't indicate the location of an infection. You'd need symptoms to culture to know that for sure. In other words, a blood test positive for type 1 could be either oral or genital. Same with a positive for Type 2, although the chances are greater that Type 2 would be genital. It wouldn't be a sure thing though. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:09:19 PM |
score another point for a dumb chick that had sex with a loser. how many more times you gonna do that???
Dumb comment. Some have been infected within a long term relationship or marriage with a cheating partner. Don't go making judgements without the details. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:18:05 PM |
Dumb comment. Some have been infected within a long term relationship or marriage with a cheating partner. Don't go making judgements without the details.
^5 lol! | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 7:59:00 PM | | so only losers have herpes? And I am stupid for getting it? hmmm interesting theory. You are most likely the one in 5 men who has herpes and doesnt even know it. Does that make you a double loser? | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:24:30 PM | honestabla,
so only losers have herpes? And I am stupid for getting it? hmmm interesting theory. You are most likely the one in 5 men who has herpes and doesn’t even know it. Does that make you a double loser?
I told you not to worry about this guy. You've got everything covered and he's an ass.
But then again, consider he’s from Alabama, talks about having come out of the military but has a huge gut so Im guessing Navy, he's Baptist which means that women have their place, his profile is third grade stupid, he's not attractive and you can tell he's just a prick by looking at him.
The problem with guys like him is that some great woman will fall for him when she should have fallen for me. And instead of him lifting her and equipping her to take on the world, he will ruin her. And that just breaks my heart...
You have more dignity coming here and sharing your fears than he will ever find in diminishing them.
The only hope that yourself and other women have against a guy like this is to hope he turns out gay... Which he would likely have better luck with. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:50:23 PM | We can all debate the would of, should of, or could of's til the cows come home.
IF that is the man that gave you the virus and you are POSITIVE... contact his base commander he will find out.
Now to your immediate problem, this guy that is coming to see you. Needs to be told, you can make all the excuses you want that he is coming to see his family and you are not the primary reason you want. You also have to admit there is some build up of anticipation of meeting again. He needs to be told that he should get his hopes up for intimacy at first. Also go and get as much info as you possibly can so he can study it for himself after the shock wears off.
I would also expect a backing off from him til he has a chance to digest this information. I have to admit it would be a deal breaker for me. I am not judging you I just know myself well enough to know that it would be. I know I am clean and get tested periodically. I have never had a cold sore. Doesn't matter what matters is you care about this guy and he cares about you. Tell him the sooner the better.
I wish you luck and I am sorry if this comes off judgemental not intended to be. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:52:00 PM |
[/quote oh you think a great woman should be falling for you. hmmmm........well that would further the status quo of a woman being with a loser. if the idiot got herpes he obviously wasn't wearin a jimmy hat. u got to always protect the mcnuggets! ]
I am a man. I am a good... man. And I will stand for my beliefs in your face!
The difference between you and I is that I am a giver in this world. I respect and treat others, especially women, very well. And one day, I will find the next great love of my life and I will carry her and comfort her and cherish her and raise her self esteem so high that she will be and feel like the queen of my universe. And if that "one" ended up having something you find so easy to condemn here and I loved her more than my own world than I would accept her and she would never question my devotion to the idea that I accept all part of her. Even at my own risk.
You on the other hand will never find that. You will tear down in order to rise. You will disrespect and ignore and abuse and ruin something you will claim to love. And when you are finished, she will be a shell of what she had all right and capability of being in her life. You will be the King and she will look back and find she is only the lowly servant in rags. And for your children, my sympathies to them as well because in them, you will pass on yourself, and they will repeat your sins in their own lives.
Now go find a wife beater and a six pack and leave this poor girl alone.
Gary! | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:01:04 PM |
me? kids? never happen. kids are nothing more than a tool for women to ass rape men in divorce court.........that of course after they've cheated with a piece of trash loser. and you are a fool to place a woman on a pedastal. no woman deserves to be lifted that high.
Dude. Im so sorry for you! | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:03:51 PM | How the other post should have looked. I couldnt get it deleted.
oh you think a great woman should be falling for you. hmmmm........well that would further the status quo of a woman being with a loser. if the idiot got herpes he obviously wasn't wearin a jimmy hat. u got to always protect the mcnuggets!
I am a man. I am a good... man. And I will stand for my beliefs in your face!
The difference between you and I is that I am a giver in this world. I respect and treat others, especially women, very well. And one day, I will find the next great love of my life and I will carry her and comfort her and cherish her and raise her self esteem so high that she will be and feel like the queen of my universe. And if that "one" ended up having something you find so easy to condemn here and I loved her more than my own world than I would accept her and she would never question my devotion to the idea that I accept all part of her. Even at my own risk.
You on the other hand will never find that. You will tear down in order to rise. You will disrespect and ignore and abuse and ruin something you will claim to love. And when you are finished, she will be a shell of what she had all right and capability of being in her life. You will be the King and she will look back and find she is only the lowly servant in rags. And for your children, my sympathies to them as well because in them, you will pass on yourself, and they will repeat your sins in their own lives.
Now go find a wife beater and a six pack and leave this poor girl alone. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:20:18 PM | | oh blah blah blah, leave the girl alone, i got bored of reading ut sh*t and couldnt be bothered to finish it, you kno nothing about her sexual behaviour. ignorant old fart, you can be a virgin waiting till marriage, then sleep with your husband wanting to make babies and get it if he didnt even know he had it or had been untrue so how in any way would that be the fault of the woman???? its a situation that can happen. not even that you dumb ass but if some one had a cole saw coming up n it was at its first stage and u cant see it and u recieve oral u can get it, so are u tellin me in oral and in sex u have always used a condom???????????????????? shut up ! ignorant snore with ur blah blah blah. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:12:35 PM | forumfilly said:
Silentman, do you ALWAYS wear a condom and make sure ALL your sexual partners are tested regularly? Even with those precautions, it IS possible to contract an STD from someone else. Condoms are not failsafe and a person can get infected during the time span between blood tests. The ONLY 100% safe way to guarantee you never come down with an STD is to completely abstain from any sexual activity. Somehow, I don't think that is an option you, or the majority of us, would choose.
I'll say now what I said before: I don't engage in risky behavior in that fashion. Read into that what you will; further details aren't appropriate in a public forum. 
forumfilly said:
What I take exception with is your condescending attitude that it cannot happen to you
I never said it "cannot" happen to me. I am saying it "will not" happen to me. Yes, I'm that sure.
forumfilly said:
This is how the majority of people get the disease.
According to what statistics? Do you have some CDC quotes? University studies? Some objective information to back up this authoritative statement? If so, please enlighten us. Otherwise, you just ruined your chances at any perspectives you put forth in an attempt to countermand my position being taken seriously by any rational-minded person.
forumfilly said:
You don't think you sound arrogant and holier-than-thou in this paragraph?
Nope. I think I sound accurate. Since I was at that point espousing my personal perspective on the matter, there is no authority higher than I for my own personal perspectives. As such, there's no objective method by which a statement of my personal perspective can be countered. You may perceive it to be arrogant, but since it's in relation to a statement about how I conduct myself, any offerings from a person outside myself remain unfounded opinion, whereas anything I might say about myself remains indisputable fact. If fact is arrogant, then fact, being a byproduct of truth (which is axiomatic), must allow its opposite to be humble, which would then mean falsehood is humble. Is this what you think?
Helen0426 said:
Not to mention ignorant. No one who knows this little is likely ever to have been tested for either HSV - he probably doesn't even know there's no blood test for gonorrhea or chlamydia and they have to be done by culture. This is exactly the kind of person who puts others at risk without knowing it, because he thinks he does know.
You see, Helen, there you lost any ability to be taken seriously by a person who uses reason and intellect. You can't attack the position, so you attack the person. This merely shows that you're feeling threatened and hoping that an aggressive response will somehow silence (or at least lessen) the impact of that which threatens you. I'd love to hear your argument if you can argue based on objective, emotionless fact instead of emotional character assaults, but so far, you aren't showing yourself capable of that approach. I encourage you to show me otherwise. Your entire statement is based on the presumption of facts which there's no conceivable way in the world you could know, because you're attempting to authoritatively state what I do or don't know, something you have no means of objectively knowing. Kudos for that little bit of self-defeating rhetoric. You may take your seat again. | |
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| now I have herpes
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:22:45 AM |
The difference between you and I is that I am a giver in this world. I respect and treat others, especially women, very well. And one day, I will find the next great love of my life and I will carry her and comfort her and cherish her and raise her self esteem so high that she will be and feel like the queen of my universe. And if that "one" ended up having something you find so easy to condemn here and I loved her more than my own world than I would accept her and she would never question my devotion to the idea that I accept all part of her. Even at my own risk.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHYAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
HAHAH...HAHAH...hhahaa
****in white knights...she isn't going to sleep with you. | |
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