| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:45:33 PM | | i don't know about meeting someone at a drop of a pin, but i am into meeting someone sooner than later, as soon as i'm available to do so. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:54:49 PM | "I have not figured out the rush either but I don't let anybody rush me."
Read my first post and you will understand..... | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:57:56 PM | | Amen to that. Everyone is on the fast track to get somewhere and with someone. If someone is in that big of a hurry then how will they ever really get to know you even if you do meet face to face. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:58:24 PM |
Some guys might want to meet you within an hour or so, to see how desperate and do you have low self esteem . It is like player psychology, "Is she really desperate to have someone!" Excellent point.
I think some people may have missed the intent of the original post. It's about people who use "now or never" pressure tactics to try to force an immediate meet up. Not whether or not it's okay to meet right way. If both are into meeting right away, that's fine. I think the focus was supposed to be on the pressure tactics and lack of flexibility. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:04:13 PM | Pft, I must be desperate then, I've met men as soon as the same afternoon we started chatting (bored on a Sunday, starting chatting on POF in morning and met for a late lunch that day).
I HATE "wasting" time getting to know someone for weeks on end, only to meet in person and there's absolutely no physical click. I tend to focus on one person at a time, even in just simple chatting, and to move so slowly makes zero sense to me. If there's no physical click, I'd rather move-on to someone else to see if there is. Maybe I'm a serial dater, but I'm SUPER comfortable meeting people from online ... some people who aren't may want to take longer. It's just a person's style.
Seems reasonable to meet within a week, maybe sooner if there's good back-and-forth conversation going on. I'd rather meet them, THEN get to know them, makes a lot more sense to me. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:04:54 PM | I personally like to meet right away (within a day or 2).
I hate drawn out, long emails and phone calls...If I don't see you in person, how am I gonna know if I am attracted to ya? | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:21:50 PM | Maybe its just me, but I dont get my hopes dashed when I meet people and they are not my cup of tea. I never put my hopes up to begin with, so yes I would like to chat and talk on the phone before meeting. I said it before, and I will say it again, if a complete strange emails me with a message meet today or never. I will choose never!
Unless his doctor told him that he has to go into emergency brain surgery, and he will not remember anyone he knows or emailed before the surgery! I would definitely make an exception! | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:30:08 PM | | yeah, i'm with you needsluv on that one. don't want to build any kind of expectations with the long emails, talking for hours (?) on phone etc before meeting. no expectations, just pray, he he | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:50:06 PM | | i like to meet after a couple of emails. i dont even talk on the phone. that seems to work best for me. it doesnt usually happen today but in the next week or so. there are too many people who arent who they claim to be, are just looking for sex, and too many that have no intention of meeting. ive learned to weed them out asap. it frees me up to meet the guys who are genuinely interested in meeting me. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:00:14 PM | In my experience, the times that I have felt pressure to meet inmediately from someone............they just want a hook up!
A guy here sent me an e-mail saying he often came by where I live for work related bussiness, I reply asking him more about him etc. , the next one was "what are you doing later today?' He said he would be in my area for a work meeting and he wouldn't mind the drive. When I reply i couldn't meet him that same day but to let me know the next time he would be in my area for work, I never heard from him again.
This has happened at least 4 other times, more less the same scenario, is today or never kind of a "meeting" | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:12:49 PM | ^^^^^Exactly, im not disagreeing with the other posters that we should try to meet up sooner than later. However, if the guy is saying now or never, which that is what the op is saying. That she would either have to meet them today or they will not meet. That is the difference in my humble opinion! | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:14:23 PM | | I want to meet soon. If you talk for too long then you get a little comfortable with them and when you do meet and there's no chemistry then how do you back out of a future date? I have the problem of them saying they will meet but they are too busy this week, and then this month, and so on. Whatever. If you arent willing to meet, don't say you are. If you're truly too busy, delete your profile from POF and be alone. Geeeze. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:06:43 PM |
I certainly have. I found it to be a great weeding-out tool. They are actually doing you a favour. Someone who doesn't have the patience to wait a few days to meet; or who doesn't have the courtesy to respect that not everyone moves at the same pace
Apparently, you don't have much respect for the fact that they move at a different pace than you, either. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:09:36 PM |
I personally like to meet right away (within a day or 2).
I hate drawn out, long emails and phone calls...If I don't see you in person, how am I gonna know if I am attracted to ya?
I'm the same way. I've learned that you just can't get to know someone via e-mail and phone calls alone.
I haven't had a chance to meet anyone from this site yet, but last Sunday I joined chemistry.com, had a match the next morning, was e-mailing her Monday night, we chatted on the phone Tuesday night and made a date for this coming Saturday night. But I guess I just move too fast... | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:11:57 PM | Ok here it is from a woman's prospective. Most of us know that for men it is about sexual excitement and attraction. For "most" women it is about the relationship.
You build relationships over time... I personally would like to have a few conversations with a guy before jumping in my car and driving wherever to meet him.
This meeting right away just has a slimey feel to it. If I wanted to just get physical with someone I wouldn't bother with talking to him! So if all you want is sex...by all means keep being pushy...but if you want a meaningful relationship be more sensative to the woman's need for a sense of security. And bro if you are on here to be a player please go somewhere else! | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:24:23 PM | | I agree. I don't get this email or chat on msn forever thing. Before this stuff came about, you met someone, talked, exchanged phone numbers and probably met all within a week. I am newly back on the dating scene for the first time in 10 years but what's with all the caution. Chemistry developes better after a personal meet. Am I wrong?? | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:26:35 PM | | Your only getting to know someone in person. Not getting in bed with them. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/2/2009 11:56:44 PM | “Most of us know that for men it is about sexual excitement and attraction. For "most" women it is about the relationship.”
I'm far from convinced that any women are here for a relationship considering their crazy expectations. It's more like fantasies.... And women aren't here for attraction? Come on. Even women who are far from physically fit expect physical perfection from men on here. It’s ridiculous. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:26:52 AM | guyd42: you're right about that. clowny made an unqualified statement there, she doesn't speak for most women when it comes to 'attraction', i don't think.
also, op's original point is meeting 'now or never' kind of attitude from most men from her experience; i think it's understood that those men are so juvenile and high schoolish. we are just too old for that kind shiet ... , aren't we
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:43:09 AM |
women who are far from physically fit expect physical perfection from men on here.
I don't. I like my man to match my frame. I like him a bit overweight. And bald. I'm not physically fit and don't expect him to be either. The physically fit thing doesn't really do it for me. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 4:42:10 AM | The reason for it is very simple. With so many men on here to choose from the guys feel that they have to meet the girl right away or they will become e-mail/chat buddies very quick.
Honestly ladies..
All you want to do is establish that the guy you are meeting is who he says he is right? So if you have a few good chats or have 1 chat that cover alot of ground and your intreagued why not meet the next day for a drink to see if there is any chemistry? | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 5:34:38 AM | | How about changing your profile to looking for friendship? You'll still have people wanting to meet you, but they'll get the message, more, that you want to know a bit more about them before actually meeting up. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 6:31:37 AM | The rules are a LITTLE different here.
In the real world, you meet someone right away and things move at a pace from there. It's slightly backward here. AND, you have the added concern of the speed and volume of "meeting" new people on the internet. If you don't move quickly, either the person you're interested in will move on, or while you're waiting, you will miss out on another potential match. It's better to get the meet out of the way so you will know whether all your invested time and energy is worth it.
You will kind of need to change your mindset a LITTLE bit. Don't change what you would do, or who you are, but how you THINK may need to change some. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 6:35:04 AM | If I am interested in someone, I like to meet sooner rather than later, just to ensure we are both representing ourselves properly. I wont rush out same day as first contact, but I will prefer to meet with a week or two of chatting. I find if it goes on longer than thet, you just never do meet.
Tell anyone you chat with that your method is to take a certain length of time. He can choose to obide you, or look elsewhere. There is no right way or wrong way, only important that two who come together agree on the terms. | |
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| Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:21:47 AM |
I find if it goes on longer than thet, you just never do meet.
Hey Brown Eyes,
I have been suckered with that one. Early last year started a conversation with a woman on Yahoo. We had a lot in common and she seemed a really nice match. She did not want to meet for a few weeks, that dragged out to more than a month and I told her I was stopping emailing. A few weeks later I got this, "could we please email some more?" stuff and I foolishly succumbed. That on again off again thing lasted for almost 3 months. DUH, yeah I know.
Finally I said, "meet or never email me again." we met and hit it off pretty well, but after 5 weekends of meets (sex on the second weekend) it was all done and finished because she was one of the lights out, curtains drawn brigade. What a waste of my time. I know who to blame, me, so now I talk about sex on the 3rd or 4th day of emails. If it offends then so be it. Stupid games, life is too short to waste time dealing with... | |
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