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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
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 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 601
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 25 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
By all means, give up people!! The fewer cynics and damaged goods darkening the skies and dreams of others, the better the atmosphere! Bye ya'll.


LOL! Of course, there's nothing cynical or callous about your own response there, eh?

OP: Don't give up.

At best, there might be someone right round the corner for you.

At worst, you may waste many years wallowing in misery only to wake up one morning and realise how much happier those wasted years could have been with a little more perseverance. ;-)
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 602
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/19/2011 4:43:02 PM
It's not just physical apperances, though. It's mainly three things that hurt any chances of relationships.

1. Too busy

I myself am a busy guy. I still have lots to do to become more independent, and I work often. However, it seems that even my busy schedule is nothing compared to how busy women are, especially the younger ones. I sometimes think they try to be busy and social just for the fact of saying they're busy and social.

2. Not single and the curse of Matt and Josh

Even single girls are instantly in a relationship as soon as they're single, which makes meeting and beginning a relationship impossible, especially since I'm not fond of the whole "aggressively pursuing" thing. I'll be talking to a group of five girls, all of whom have boyfriends.

Then there will be a single girl who gives mixed signals. You can jump out of a plane, save an old lady from a burning building and climb a mountain and the girl will look at her friend and say, "So...Josh text me last night..." or "Matt was there last night...he's so hot!!"

There's always a "Josh" or a "Matt" or that guy who no matter how flawed girls are infatuated with them.

3. Kids and ex-boyfriends/husbands

I plan on marrying someday to a woman who is single and never been married, then having kids with a woman who has never had kids before. These days, almost every girl you meet has an ex or a kid. I have nothing against single parents, but it does, personally, turn me off.
 mommasgrl77
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 603
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/20/2011 10:42:12 PM
You dont give up sweetie!! Make the choice on what you feel is best for you. I thought I had to be married at 26 and all children by 35. As I come up on my 35th birthday I realize what my life would have been had I started having children then. Im not married, no kids and I am a one man kinda girl, the right guy hasnt come along yet. when he does......well then I will think again about kids. It is all about you and what is right for you. remember that and you will be fine! (p.s. my friend just had a baby at 39 after she met my best friend not 18 months earlier. she has never been happier!)
 jodi220
Joined: 11/19/2010
Msg: 604
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/21/2011 10:39:33 AM
Please don't discourage us older folks. If you feel that way, keep your negativity to yourself.
 laurahere
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 605
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/22/2011 3:37:58 PM
Not a very nice posting....
Is that whats its all about?
MONEY?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 606
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:55:34 PM
Giving up ?!
Are we there yet ?

The census numbers are showing less and less marriage % at each iteration.
.... maybe for the next one they allow Gay Marriage to see if that will boost the numbers, kind of like the economic stimulus - lots of 'activity' ; little to no productivity.
 EMunchy2010
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 607
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:43:47 PM

When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up?


NEVER GIVE UP!!! YOU GIVE UP THEN JUST DIE!

IM A MAN OF MY WOOOOOORD~!
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 608
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 12:28:23 PM
@VALENCIACITYX...I agree.The numbers are very depressing..In 1971 the percentage of households that were married 79%.In 2011 it is 48%.We as a society are on the verge of total destruction.When people are married the crime rate,poverty rate,suicide rate,drug rate among kids are down.In fact in most cases a single mother raising kids the crime,welfare.drug use and suicide goes up.People can spend it all they want.But that is the facts.
 sweetie991
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 609
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 1:07:25 PM
I dont think anyone should give up on finding love. Everyone deserves to be happy and have someone to share lifes ups and downs with. Some of us it just takes longer to find than others. Plenty of perserverance and patience (something im not good with lol).

Why settle for a life alone when its not really what you want.
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 610
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:09:42 PM

@VALENCIACITYX...I agree.The numbers are very depressing..In 1971 the percentage of households that were married 79%.In 2011 it is 48%.We as a society are on the verge of total destruction.When people are married the crime rate,poverty rate,suicide rate,drug rate among kids are down.In fact in most cases a single mother raising kids the crime,welfare.drug use and suicide goes up.People can spend it all they want.But that is the facts.


Where did you find those facts. Crime has dropped considerably since the heyday of people staying in marriages for the sake of being married, no matter the physical and emotional abuses, or lovelessness. Homicide and domestic violence rates have dropped as the rates of married people have declined.

http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/820/women-are-four-times-more-likely-to-experience-intimate-partner-violence
http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/830/violent-crime-has-declined
http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/833/the-rate-of-violent-crime-victimization-has-declined
http://pricetheory.uchicago.edu/levitt/Papers/LevittUnderstandingWhyCrime2004.pdf

Sounds like some people cling to an ideal that never was, and particularly never was for women in marriages in those "good old days". My mom was married to a total piece of crap in her second marriage. She finally got away from the abuse, went back to school, became personally and financially independent, and went on to find true love for the last 28 years of her life with a man she refused to marry, but with whom she shared a deep and abiding love to the end.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 611
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:20:18 PM
go back to the DoJ and FBI stats.... and then look at how they CHANGED the recalculation of instances of crime in 1998 .... from reported, to charged.... and then again in 2004 how they changed charged to convicted.... its not that crime has gone down at all (quite the opposite if you actually talk to and know anyone in law enforcement, or have worked joint task force with law enforcement) it is that the REPORTING for it has been changed and skewed. Your next indication of crime stats is that they will weed out and sort out crime as perpertrated by ethnic minorities as it is now 'racist' profiling.... again look at how LOW crime is... pity reality doesnt support it .
and gotta love how Assualt II is no longer 'violent' .... I am sure the recipient of it doesnt agree.
 azzazz
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 612
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/25/2011 7:38:00 AM
im half way through 45 and not an awfull lot of luck with the girls im giving up slowly but shawly What do woman want? theres someone for everyone? "i just wish it would happen to me sooner rather than later "
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 613
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/30/2011 10:43:26 AM
Seems that dating in this time and day gets alot harder for men over 40 than women over 40. Seriously. I know some women will jump all over me here about this, but really. Now that we are in an era where the tables have turned and women hold the power in dating. Women can date men half thier age and not be bashed by so many people for it. Men it seems when we get into our 40's are not as desired by women.
Women are told that it is acceptable to act, look and feel younger. But for men, that is called being immature.
You have alot of couples now where the guy is alot younger than the woman. And alot more single men in thier 40's and up.
Also add in that we are labelled dirty old men if we date much younger women. SO I would say if men are over 40, have no luck in dating. There really is nothing wrong with throwing in the towel.
It gives women less guys to bash and reject too....
 friendlyarcher5
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 614
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/3/2011 7:14:29 PM
I am nearly 45, and I have not given up in finding a good long term relationship. However, I have noticed that as I get older, I don't go out of my way to talk to women anymore. I have a far more care free attitude toward it, as I will go up and talk to a gal if I am in the mood for it.

So many people claim that it is harder to meet people when they get older. I think that is rubbish. In fact, I have found it is actually easier to meet people if you are willing to go up and talk to them. Most people are more confident and know what they want when they get older, and it really shows up in casual conversation. This makes people more approachable.

That said, I do think it is harder to make that special connection with someone now. I think it is easier to make a connection when you are younger because younger people have had less life experience to shape their world view. I believe that a common world view is what makes relationships ultimately work, and this is much harder to find when you get older.

Even so, giving up just makes being alone a self fulfilling prophecy. If I am doomed to be unattached for the rest of my life, at least no one will be able to say that I didn't have an excellent run.

Besides , I am the only one who can make me happy.....
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 615
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:34:21 PM
Mine isn't so much care free as much as it is acceptance. I understand that A. I come across different than guys my age and B. I'm not as attractive. So I just decided why not better to take myself out than go through the heartache associated with being rejected.
 GlasgowIain2011
Joined: 2/13/2011
Msg: 616
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/5/2011 5:39:50 PM
When lowering your standards considerably and being prepared to settle makes not the slightest difference, its probably time to accept that the ship has sailed and get some cats.
 ShouldBee
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 617
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/6/2011 8:41:47 AM
Im finishing my family single at age 5O , my Ex remarried and has started a new family. well 3rd marriage for him. at 52 his youngest is 4. he enjoys it. Im thrilled to be my age and single. having the children grown. but i give kudos to anyone wanting it later in life. it works! ! ! dont settle. :j
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 618
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/6/2011 10:31:02 AM
1. Too busy

We no longer sit around like in your mom's day. We like to do sh*t and not just sit around. When I don't want to go out, I don't and I sit at home watching a movie. I go out to be with people I like doing stuff I like. I don't go out to be popular. I've never been "popular" and I like it that way.

2. Not single and the curse of Matt and Josh

Very indicative of the type of women you go for. It takes me some time to heal after a breakup. I don't "need" to be in a relationship to define myself. The people who jump from relationship to relationship are often those types of people and that's not me.

As for the curse, you are bringing up the nice guy thread. Haven't you learned anything yet? Just like you, women like attractive people too. You just assume all attractive guys are flawed.

Your post is very indicative of the type of women you seek. I've never had a relationship with a bad guy. They've all been good men so I don't know who the hell Matt or Josh are. Maybe you should stop going after the female equivalent.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 619
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/7/2011 11:45:00 AM
As I am to be married in a matter of weeks, YES, I am giving up dating forever.

I quit, am throwing in the towel, checking out.

Go ahead. Call me angry and bitter if you like.
 Pringletube
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 620
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/7/2011 12:34:37 PM
Never give up, life really is random. If you stop looking you've had it. Just keep your chin up, if you start letting rejection get to you you will end up getting all bitter and twisted. That's the top of a very slippery slope.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 621
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/7/2011 3:54:37 PM

Never give up, life really is random. If you stop looking you've had it.

On the contrary - I think so long as you're social, generally happy and open to love and connections, you can pretty much stop looking. Looking for love is like looking for anything that's elusive and involves more than one person. You tend to end up trying to force the very thing that should come naturally.

Some people think wanting to find someone means carrying a large net and a tranquilizer dart or in this case a vibe that says "I'm on the hunt, perpetually". It kinda makes people want to avoid you.

If you were planning on taking someone to the place of their dreams to give them everything they ever wanted, but in order to get them there you wanted to throw them in your trunk tied up and gagged, do you think they'd be OK with the destination?
 Pringletube
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 622
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 4:44:12 AM
A lot depends on your definition of 'looking for'. I see looking for as making sure you put yourself out there. Don't confuse looking for with hunting for. The former is a pre-requisite, the latter screams desperado.
 WildAndFree3
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 623
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 7:14:35 AM
There is no age that you just give up, that is dependent on the individual. When I used to do home care I knew a couple who had fallen in love and got married at the ripe ages of 89 and 90!
 howrya2day
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 624
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:58:35 AM
haha give up when your dead thats when
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 625
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 10:34:25 PM
For me personally, yes it is my physical characteristics. That probably ends up making me "just a friend" despite any kind of "nice guy" vibe or availability.

Basically...I get the moms saying to their daughters, "Oh my...he's so hot!!" and I get the daughters who are my age saying, "I guess....maybe he's...kinda cute..."

Eventually rejection hurts so bad you don't want to experience it anymore.
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