|
|
|
|
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/7/2009 3:24:36 PM |
Women here often tell men that the men should keep it in their pants if they don't want to be a father, but it's very rare that women tell other women to keep their legs closed....
I have, but I have found it more valuable to suggest this, and the pants zipping, before the pregnancy. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/7/2009 3:56:09 PM | The answer is contained in your post. Men who run out on women they get pregnant have no long-term interest in them--never did. For them, the women were indeed "victory bangs."
I don't know where you live, but from what you've said I bet few of the men in the area are gainfully employed. They cannot prove their manhood in the traditional way--i.e. by raising and caring for a family. Their economic prospects just aren't good enough. So, instead, they measure their manhood by their ability to "get over" on women, to bed as many as possible while dodging all responsibility. It is sick, but true.
But this begs a question. Not getting pregnant, or not getting someone pregnant, is extremely easy nowadays. Contraceptives are readily available. Other options are also safe and legal. Yet, people take no precautions and just churn out kid after kid. Why? | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/7/2009 4:36:38 PM |
Yes, Capitano, I agree....but on the other side of the coin how many women out here have heard a man say he had a vasectomy? or had a prior condition that rendered him sterile?? - and oops.........he wasn't shooting blanks after all. It happens more than you think - yes, men WILL lie to get what they want and take off.
If the woman is dumb enough to take a guy at his word and not use protection herself... remember there are still STD's to be cautious about... then she shouldn't be the first one to **** about the guy when she ends up pregnant.
I agree 100% with Capitano, the woman shoud be in full control of her body despite what her partner says about himself. If your not going to take your own precautions when it comes to sex, then you deserve whatever the outcome.
But this begs a question. Not getting pregnant, or not getting someone pregnant, is extremely easy nowadays. Contraceptives are readily available. Other options are also safe and legal. Yet, people take no precautions and just churn out kid after kid. Why?
I ask myself this very question everytime I hear about another unplanned pregnancy... which seems to be occuring more and more. You can't sleep with a loser boyfriend or have a one night stand with a man who's name you didn't even know, and then wonder why he took off when you told him the news your expecting. I've slept with several men, not whole lot, but enough in my life. Each and everytime I've used some form of birth control, and the both times I became pregnant, it was with my husbands who were on the same page as me. It's not a difficult concept... if you don't want a baby daddy to run... then don't have unprotected sex with him. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:40:40 PM |
But this begs a question. Not getting pregnant, or not getting someone pregnant, is extremely easy nowadays. Contraceptives are readily available. Other options are also safe and legal. Yet, people take no precautions and just churn out kid after kid. Why?
I ask myself this very question everytime I hear about another unplanned pregnancy... which seems to be occuring more and more. You can't sleep with a loser boyfriend or have a one night stand with a man who's name you didn't even know, and then wonder why he took off when you told him the news your expecting. I've slept with several men, not whole lot, but enough in my life. Each and everytime I've used some form of birth control, and the both times I became pregnant, it was with my husbands who were on the same page as me. It's not a difficult concept... if you don't want a baby daddy to run... then don't have unprotected sex with him.
Yet, people take no precautions and just churn out kid after kid. Why?
It is all but impossible to get a straight answer to this question. The most common whitewash is that the woman got pregnant by accident, was on the birth control pill or some other type of contraception, etc., and just had to have the child and keep it. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/8/2009 8:59:29 AM | With all the availability of birth control, I'm starting to think most "accidental pregnancies" are NOT accidents at all ... especially with teenage girls/young women.
Many of my daughters friends have "thought" they were pregnant, many times. But, in the time period that they are so "worried", they are continuing to have unprotected sex. Really, can one call these "accidental"? Also, while they are thinking they are pregnant, they don't really seem to even care ... so they're gonna have a baby ... no big deal.
A certain young man I know should be "running" soon, and I would suggest he does! He just met a girl not long ago, and she got pregnant - would have to have been immediately (if she wasn't actually pregnant already ... judging by the timing). Then, he cheats on her with his ex ... who supposedly can't have babies, and whom he has slept with for years without protection or pregnancy ... and now she is claiming to be pregnant as well? (even though it's 99.9 % sure she was having sex with her new "friend" at the time). Now, supposing that both or either of them is not lying, and are actually pregnant ... how will he be able to support two females and their babies? Sounds like a case where he will need to "run" , and a case that is really sad for the supposed future children .... where they are likely just "pawns" to try to trap the man (boy).
I really don't understand why some people don't see that the female is the one who is at risk of getting pregnant, having the baby ... so it is up to HER to make sure it doesn't happen. And, even if she wants a baby so bad (like wanting a puppy) ... no one can stop her ... but, she has no right to "trap" a guy.
Why the he!! are girls as young as 14 (probably even younger) having sex with multiple partners if they are not even on birth control?? Kinda makes the "chastity belt" idea or sterilization seem pretty desirable ...
Ideally, guys would be sure to "wrap it" or at least use judgment in who they screw ... but that is just not gonna happen anytime soon ... especially when intoxicated. So, if girls are choosing to spread their legs for these guys, they should be prepared for the consequences to THEIR bodies and THEIR futures.
(Sorry, but in all these unwanted, unplanned, planned through deceit pregnancies ... it seems like no one is thinking of the real "victims" .. the poor little babies ... children.).
Why do some guys run?? hmmm.... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:31:05 AM |
I really don't understand why some people don't see that the female is the one who is at risk of getting pregnant, having the baby ... so it is up to HER to make sure it doesn't happen. And, even if she wants a baby so bad (like wanting a puppy) ... no one can stop her ... but, she has no right to "trap" a guy.
Here is another discussion in this thread which may shed some light on this question:
BOTH parties need to sit down, discuss it, and take responsibility.
While I agree with this, I can't understand why women, knowing THEY will have to carry the kid and very likely have to raise the kid alone don't go above and beyond to protect themselves. I find it rather bizarre, honestly. There are about a dozen methods of BC available to women. There is abstenance. There is Plan B, abortion and adoption. Sex does not occur, with the exception of rape, unless the woman agrees. A child is not born unless a woman chooses to carry him/her to term. I just don't get it. I don't even understand how a doctor could possibly tell a woman that she cannot get pregnant unless she doesn't have a uterus and/or ovaries. I've heard this story so many times from women here and in real life. I think any man who trusts a woman with BC or who trusts a woman who says she can't get pregnant is a fvcking idiot. He should absolutely take responsibility for his sperm. Why do guys run? I think there are cases of feeling betrayed, I think there are cases where the guy is a complete shithead, I think there are cases where the guy does it out of spite, and I think it's likely that there are as many reasons as there are runners. But ultimately? I think that women should keep their legs shut, or double/triple up on BC, or just say "No" if a guy refuses to wear a condom in addition to the BC she is using.
I think that women should keep their legs shut, or double/triple up on BC, or just say "No" if a guy refuses to wear a condom in addition to the BC she is using...... hmmmmm. I could say the same thing for men who run around with their pants unzipped as well.
Not really. He quite clearly illustrated what the difference was between men and women:
While I agree with this, I can't understand why women, knowing THEY will have to carry the kid and very likely have to raise the kid alone don't go above and beyond to protect themselves. I find it rather bizarre, honestly.
Looking at it at face value, women have a lot more to risk/lose by failing to use adequate bc than men. However, there is another way to look at this argument. That is, what one may view as a negative consequence for a woman, i.e. the burden of pregnancy and parenthood for 18 years, is actually anything but for many women. In other words, for many women who are careless about birth control, they will be rewarded by birth control failure rather than burdened, because they are open to (or eagerly anticipating, depending upon the woman) the idea of having a baby if there is an unplanned pregnancy.
Looking at it that way, it is clear that the consequences of birth control failure to the man can be much more severe than for women. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:38:50 PM | There are as many reasons for running as there are men running away. They've all got their own cop-out script they repeat in their stupid heads. What difference does it make what he says to himself? The truth is he's not a man at all.
This question wouldn't be as much of an issue if we women quit screwing guys so casually. Yes, I know, some of the men leaving are married or engaged and a girl wouldn't think they'd run, BUT the majority of these running away jerks are not in committed relationships. They're just getting sex with no commitment. Because the women don't REQUIRE a commitment before dropping their panties.
When we women quit opening our legs then we won't be left with so many children to raise on our own. Period.
Looking at how casually young women today treat sex, it's safe to say that the single mother statistics are just going to get bigger and bigger. It's sad but true. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:48:31 AM |
Looking at how casually young women today treat sex, it's safe to say that the single mother statistics are just going to get bigger and bigger. It's sad but true.
Well, that may be true, but it isn't JUST women who treat sex casually. It's BOTH genders that do. And yes, it's very very sad and very true. Sex is the responsbility of BOTH parties involved. Not just one. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:31:22 AM | I assumed this question meant that the woman 'surprised' a man with a pregnancy that wasn't his - meaning she got pregnant before they started dating and she told him about it weeks or months after she started dating him.
Seeing it from this end - I don't think I'd be interested in a guy who had a pregnant ex, especially if they have been together less than a 6 months to a year. To me it means he's probably sexually irresponsible. He basically just started dating someone, they had sex, and now she is pregnant. Apparantly their relationship (or just the sex) wasn't that long ago if she only 1-8 months into the pregnancy. There could definitely be some drama there as most pregnant women want to try to involve the father into the pregnancy and the baby's life.
So I can understand a guy wanting to vamp after finding out a girl is pregnant with some other guys baby. First - to him it just might not be that attractive to date a woman who pregnant with a baby that not his. It shows that that she might be sexually irresponsible. It sounds like drama waiting to happen. And ofcourse - who wants to be roped into possibly taking care of kids that are not yours. If she already had a baby, then he could have made a conscious decision for a ready made family. But if she's preggers already and he didn't know until later - then he should be able to opt out of that relationship.
As for men running for women pregnant with THEIR baby - that's just shameful. Don't want a baby - put a condom on it and cover with a famale birth control. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:56:01 AM | Women have more at risk when they take a chance on pregnancy and keep the child if they do. There is the pregnancy itself, then the years of raising the child (without a father in this scenario, and perhaps without child support), the problems with having a fun social life, issues with finding a good relationship once she has children and the responsibilities that limit her time and options.
Worst case for an irresponsible man is decades of child support (and sometime he manages to avoid even that), and he can opt out of any involvement in the child's life if he's that kind of guy. If he doesn't know the woman well, and isn't already sure he wants a long-term relationship with her, pregnancy is going to make a relationship even less attractive. It can be much better for him to pay child support than to later be faced with divorce and even greater losses. He has few if any reproductive rights, but he's still on the hook for support.
There are risks for the man, but far more risks and consequences for the woman, so it seems women would have a greater incentive to ensure that they don't get pregnant. However, biology betrays them into desiring children, and that can lead to poor judgment, unintentional errors, and sometimes even intentional entrapment. The child may be sufficient reward no matter what, but the father may not even have that if the mother tries to keep him away.
So I can certainly see why a man would run unless he's pretty much commited to a relationship already. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:05:01 AM |
I don't know where you live, but from what you've said I bet few of the men in the area are gainfully employed. They cannot prove their manhood in the traditional way--i.e. by raising and caring for a family. Their economic prospects just aren't good enough. So, instead, they measure their manhood by their ability to "get over" on women, to bed as many as possible while dodging all responsibility. It is sick, but true.
I don't think this is an issue that can be broken down by socio-economic lines although I would agree that the likelihood that men would ditch their kids is probably higher among people of poverty and for whom there is little means of deriving a positive identity through gainful employment. That said, I have seen men of means doing everything they possibly can to hang onto their money and not giving a shit how their children are living. Talking to one of the girls at church, her bio dad is wealthy but to avoid paying child support, he spent all of her life living with and off of his aunt, in a mansion while her mother struggled to support two kids. Other men have decent jobs and as soon as wages are garnished, quit so that the process must begin again.
If anything is responsible for the rise in this situation it is raising a generation or more of people that are not responsible, seek instant gratification, and have not been accountable for their own actions. Men can run because they don't accept their responsibility in conception and figure it is not their problem because their biological tie to that child is apparently meaningless.
Men and women, particularly young ones, believe that bad things happen to other people. Some of the women may even have the attitude that they would just get an abortion if they became pregnant but after they do, find that they just can't go through with it. Young men may even think they would step up because it is just another aspect of playing house and perhaps when faced with that reality, find out that they aren't really men at all.
I encounter very few people like my daughter. She believes in the right to choose and thinks it is preferable to bringing a baby into the world that someone cannot take care of but doesn't believe in abortion for herself. Consequently she will not become sexually active until she is prepared to raise a child that could result from that behavior regardless of how careful someone is. She was put on the pill at 15 due to medical issues and it had no impact on her choices because she knows that no method is fail safe. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 3:21:00 AM | Looking at it at face value, women have a lot more to risk/lose by failing to use adequate bc than men. However, there is another way to look at this argument. That is, what one may view as a negative consequence for a woman, i.e. the burden of pregnancy and parenthood for 18 years, is actually anything but for many women. In other words, for many women who are careless about birth control, they will be rewarded by birth control failure rather than burdened, because they are open to (or eagerly anticipating, depending upon the woman) the idea of having a baby if there is an unplanned pregnancy.
Looking at it that way, it is clear that the consequences of birth control failure to the man can be much more severe than for women.
It is all but impossible to get a straight answer to this question. The most common whitewash is that the woman got pregnant by accident, was on the birth control pill or some other type of contraception, etc., and just had to have the child and keep it.
~futureshock~
^^^You also fail futureshock, in answering the OP's origional question.
The origional question wasn't geared towards women's thoughts really....just the absentee father's who skipped out! Nice spin you have though!
Personally, I think there are too many men who have been allowed to get away with socially destructive behaviour with no consequences. The cause of a pregnancy is completely irreleveant in most cases....because the obvious fact is that TWO people didn't use BC properly or on a regular basis.
When it comes to a woman keeping a baby, she has to make alot of personal sacrifices after making that choice when the Dad skips out upon hearing the news....
Where is his cupability for a man's decision and actions? ..... all that aside.....Where TFck is a man's BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT when he walks away from a child?
The consequence men are afraid of are the finacial restraints...I have yet to read ONE single post from a man who showed great concern for an unplanned child because he was worried about the quality of life they would have...
It dosen't take a fricken genious to figure out this is a numbers game for men...
I liken it to gambling in a casino in Vegas.....sometimes your lucky.......and sometimes you go home broke...
Arguing for the plight of men who are the ulitmate "victims" in every scenerio where a child is born due to an unplanned pregnacy only opens the doors up for every guy to change his mind regardless of his intentions.
Suck it up guys....you wanna play.....sometimes you might end up having to pay...
OH and life is unfair!.JMO | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 4:01:39 AM | To the above poster, you have just reiterated what has already been stated.
It is extremely obvious that men bolt, you seem to know this and so many others here seem to know this, DUH.
It should be a mantra for girls when they hit twelve, Boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant
Now if they actually said to themselves enough times we wouldn't need laws to fix the problem. What seems to be in the heads of young girls is,
He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 11:38:17 AM | Personally, I think there are too many men who have been allowed to get away with socially destructive behaviour with no consequences. The cause of a pregnancy is completely irreleveant in most cases....because the obvious fact is that TWO people didn't use BC properly or on a regular basis.
I don't think it is irrelevant in most cases how the pregnancy came to be. If one person in the relationship is being less than honest about their use of contraception, that matters.
When it comes to a woman keeping a baby, she has to make alot of personal sacrifices after making that choice
The point is that she does not have to keep the baby. She can either have an abortion or give it up for adoption. The man has ZERO choice at this point. One reason some men leave when the woman becomes pregnant and decides to have the child is that he may resent having such a monumental decision taken away from him.
when the Dad skips out upon hearing the news....
Where is his cupability for a man's decision and actions? .....
I thought this was obvious, a man has to pay child support regardless of how he feels about having a child at the time, and if he doesn't pay he goes to jail. What more can society do to a person?
all that aside.....Where TFck is a man's BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT when he walks away from a child?
The consequence men are afraid of are the finacial restraints...I have yet to read ONE single post from a man who showed great concern for an unplanned child because he was worried about the quality of life they would have...
It dosen't take a fricken genious to figure out this is a numbers game for men...
I liken it to gambling in a casino in Vegas.....sometimes your lucky.......and sometimes you go home broke...
Arguing for the plight of men who are the ulitmate "victims" in every scenerio where a child is born due to an unplanned pregnacy only opens the doors up for every guy to change his mind regardless of his intentions.
Suck it up guys....you wanna play.....sometimes you might end up having to pay...
OH and life is unfair!.JMO
So what I don't understand is, why ask a question like the following, when you already know the answer?
all that aside.....Where TFck is a man's BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT when he walks away from a child?
Many men, as is patently evident, do not have the same BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT when it comes to a child that women do, especially in the case of an unwed/unplanned pregnancy. For many men, the connection to a child may be contingent upon many things, including the following two:
a) the connection that man has to the mother of the child; and b) the confidence that man has in his paternity of the child.
One reason for A is, in many cases his time spent with the child depends upon his relationship with the mother.. For example, obviously a happily married man spends a lot more time interacting directly with his children than a man who fathers an illegitimate child, whom he has difficulty seeing.
B follows along with A in that a married man has a higher faith in his paternity than a man in a casual sexual relationship with a woman to whom he is not married.
The following poster gets it exactly right:
To the above poster, you have just reiterated what has already been stated.
It is extremely obvious that men bolt, you seem to know this and so many others here seem to know this, DUH.
It should be a mantra for girls when they hit twelve, Boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnantboys run if I get pregnant, boys run if I get pregnant
Now if they actually said to themselves enough times we wouldn't need laws to fix the problem. What seems to be in the heads of young girls is,
He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever, He's different - he'll love me forever,
I wish the women who believed this would say so, that the reason they went through with the pregnancy even over the man's objections was because they thought he would be different, and he would suddenly change his mind about wanting to have a child with this woman and stay in a relationship for the long term with the woman and the child. I realize many women believe this, that is why women push so hard for these men to see the child after it is born. They are hoping something will click with the man when he sees his offspring. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 12:24:47 PM | I'm not going to read through all these pages of posts. They mostly all say the same thing.
It is the responcibility of BOTH when jumping in bed together and taking the chance(BC or not) of having a baby. Not only that but society and their parents fault for not teaching properly the cause and affect of unplanned pregnency. It's a shame that the men AND WOMEN walk away from their responcibilities. I'm glad that I'm not one of them, my kids are awesome and anyone would be luck to be a part of their lives (in my opinion). You can talk all you want about this but until everyone stands up and recognizes that it's a problem and find a solution, it will continue. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 2:05:33 PM |
When it comes to a woman keeping a baby, she has to make alot of personal sacrifices after making that choice when the Dad skips out upon hearing the news....
Well, she should stop relying on FATE as her main method of BC and think about what the cost is going to be for her BEFORE she spreads her legs and has sex with a guy she has no real history with.
 | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 2:19:41 PM |
Well, she should stop relying on FATE as her main method of BC and think about what the cost is going to be for her BEFORE she spreads her legs and has sex with a guy she has no real history with.
The cause of a pregnancy is completely irreleveant in most cases....because the obvious fact is that TWO people didn't use BC properly or on a regular basis.
True, however, as you stated in the same post, "When it comes to a woman keeping a baby, she has to make alot of personal sacrifices after making that choice when the Dad skips out upon hearing the news...."
OK... so if she's making all the personal sacrifices, then why isn't she doing EVERYTHING in her power to avoid pregnancy?
Not all men run at the first sign of pregnancy... and in the case of those that did, well... the women certainly didn't pick the right men to procreate with, AND didn't use BC properly to avoid all this garbage. | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 3:12:58 PM | renegadeoutlaw wrote:
but on the other side of the coin how many women out here have heard a man say he had a vasectomy? or had a prior condition that rendered him sterile?? - and oops.........he wasn't shooting blanks after all.
Hrm, really? See, I haven't heard this - so I'd like to know of all the "unexpected" pregnancies, what percentage of them were the result of a guy saying he was sterile or had a vasectomy, but that's NOT really the case, versus what percentage were the result of a woman claiming to be on birth control but that's NOT really the case, versus "other"?
That said, though, I have to agree with later posts that it is a little unclear what the OP is asking - a woman dating a guy and then suddenly surprises him later with "Oh, by the way, I was ALREADY pregnant" or a woman dating a guy and "surprising" him with an "Oh, by the way, you got me pregnant."
The answers are going to be WAY different..... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/11/2009 3:28:29 PM | RUN?
She couldn't hold her tears back when I have popped the question. She couldn't hold them back when she was taking my last name.
It was ME who couldn't held tears back when she came from a bathroom at 7 in the morning 4 months later and said :"You are going to be a daddy". Yes, I am a strong man but I cried as a baby... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:19:37 AM | OK... so if she's making all the personal sacrifices, then why isn't she doing EVERYTHING in her power to avoid pregnancy? ~hooked_and_happy~
^^^^Really?...you have no idea how a woman might get pregnant unintentionally?
In my case it was a romantic weekend away with my boyfriend that consisted of alot of sex, and more than a few shots of tequila.....I do believe I made mention of getting MORE condoms....but he was insistent of practicing the "rythm method" (if ya know what I mean) and relying on the new method of BC I was only on for a month.....but I digress...
A few of you make it sound like the men who are running didn't have full disclosure or a choice before they got a woman pregnant. It is ridiculous for some people here to solely blame women for something that both people had the power to avoid.
Shiat happens...and how one deals with it is a true test of their charactor.
Not all men run at the first sign of pregnancy... and in the case of those that did, well... the women certainly didn't pick the right men to procreate with, AND didn't use BC properly to avoid all this garbage. ~hooked_and_happy~
Since your so smart you can probably tell me which one came first...The chicken or the egg?
I think we know the answer as to what men are when they walk away from a pregnant woman...but IMO there is no valid reason or excuse as to WHY they feel it is okay to do so! | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:39:43 AM | Someone (can't remember your name... sorry!) said that children of single moms end up in poverty, on food stamps, cash assistance, etc... Not always true... A good friend of mine was married and got pregnant... the "man" ran! So, she divorced him, had the baby, put herself through school, turned to family to help her and now owns her own home, just married a gem of a man, and her little boy calls this man Daddy. Started doing that on his own one day... 
As for myself, yes I am a single mom of 2 kids, on welfare, live in a tralier park, and my son is on disability for his cleft palate. Even though its been repaired, he's almost 6 and still can't talk very well. I am going to school, get Medical for a medical condition that requires meds. Yes, I live in poverty at the moment... I am making strides to change that. It doesn't happen over night though... Some women just keep popping out kids to get that nice fat welfare check... Just please don't judge all single parents as "welfare moms (or dads)" as this is not always the case...
When I had my youngest, her father ran... My son's dad (my ex hubby) stepped in and gave her a dad... Her father wants nothing to do with her and has told me as much. Tried to say she wasn't his... lol... Funny... I don't know why some men run away, and others run TOWARDS... My ex husband has no obligation to her or me... Yet he loves her dearly and can't imagine his life without her... He's over every night to see her. He eats dinner with us, puts her to bed, gives her baths, etc... Then I go next store (where he lives) real quick to put our son to bed... We have it that way because we each can only afford a 2 bedroom, and want the kids to have their own rooms.
Sometimes, a "man" isn't a man... Some want the perks... Not the responsibility... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:45:43 AM | ^^^^Really?...you have no idea how a woman might get pregnant unintentionally?
In my case it was a romantic weekend away with my boyfriend that consisted of alot of sex, and more than a few shots of tequila.....I do believe I made mention of getting MORE condoms....but he was insistent of practicing the "rythm method" (if ya know what I mean) and relying on the new method of BC I was only on for a month.....but I digress...
See, here's the difference. I have been in a situation like that more than once Here's what I did. I said, "No." Also, did your boyfriend know at the time that if you got pregnant you would not have an abortion or give it up for adoption?
You still made the decision to have the child. I don't know how your boyfriend at the time felt about it, but I do know that he had ZERO control over whether or not a child came into the world.
A few of you make it sound like the men who are running didn't have full disclosure or a choice before they got a woman pregnant. It is ridiculous for some people here to solely blame women for something that both people had the power to avoid.
Shiat happens...and how one deals with it is a true test of their charactor.
Not all men run at the first sign of pregnancy... and in the case of those that did, well... the women certainly didn't pick the right men to procreate with, AND didn't use BC properly to avoid all this garbage. ~hooked_and_happy~
Since your so smart you can probably tell me which one came first...The chicken or the egg?
I think we know the answer as to what men are when they walk away from a pregnant woman...but IMO there is no valid reason or excuse as to WHY they feel it is okay to do so!
The point is that we know there is a good chance that when faced with an unwanted pregnancy, if the man is not committed previously to the woman, he won't stick around to be a proper father. Women should factor that knowledge in when deciding when, with whom , and under what circumstances to have sex, and when to carry a pregnancy to term and when not to.
For example, given the above scenario of the romantic weekend, hopefully more women will say to themselves, "If I have sex without a condom and get pregnant, this guy is not likely to stick around to be a father to the child. I know I won't have an abortion, so I will end up a single mother raising a fatherless child. It's probably not a good gamble to have sex right now."
Instead of what happens all too often, when the woman throws caution to the wind because she believes if she gets pregnant, it will all work out.
When I had my youngest, her father ran... My son's dad (my ex hubby) stepped in and gave her a dad... Her father wants nothing to do with her and has told me as much. Tried to say she wasn't his... lol... Funny... I don't know why some men run away, and others run TOWARDS... My ex husband has no obligation to her or me... Yet he loves her dearly and can't imagine his life without her... He's over every night to see her. He eats dinner with us, puts her to bed, gives her baths, etc... Then I go next store (where he lives) real quick to put our son to bed... We have it that way because we each can only afford a 2 bedroom, and want the kids to have their own rooms.
Sometimes, a "man" isn't a man... Some want the perks... Not the responsibility...
Do you really not see the difference in circumstances between the first child and the second? Were you married to the first man when you got pregnant? Was he asked whether or not he wanted to have a child with you at that time before you got pregnant and decided to have a child? What about the second man, your husband? He was probably a little more prepared and welcoming of a pregnancy than the first guy, right, seeing as how he had committed to you beforehand? | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:01:33 AM |
There are about a dozen methods of BC available to women. There is abstenance. There is Plan B, abortion and adoption. Sex does not occur, with the exception of rape, unless the woman agrees. A child is not born unless a woman chooses to carry him/her to term.
Sorry... Most women in my position with my daughter would have taken the easy way out and gone to the nearest abortion clinic. For people like me who see abortion as murder, its not an option... I spread my legs and had sex (unprotected or protected. BC doesn't always work as its supposed to...), she is MY responsibility... I'm only on welfare until I finish school and start working. I'm using the system for its intended purpose... To help people through a rough spot...
To me, abortion is murder... There are only a few exceptions to the rule... If it comes between the mom and the baby, the mom should be chosen. A miscarriage's medical term is "spontaneous abortion" so I guess I've had 5...
In regards to both of my kids, I try to remember that you are never handed more than you can handle. If you are, people are put in your path to help you through. This has been true for me for a very long time... Frankly, if I can have the fun, I can deal with the "punishment"...
Kids should NEVER be seen as an accident... That breeds low self-esteem, and issues for the kids. Your child is not an accident whether planned or not... YOU spread your legs, or put your thing in a woman... You learned (at least in my school) in 5th grade how babies were made... I hate it when men say "How?" when a woman says "I'm pregnant"... Its such a stupid response... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:09:47 AM | Futureshock, you know me well enough to know that my daughter is my youngest...
Hence, "When I had my youngest, HER father..." My son is my oldest, his dad is my ex hubby... I was NOT married to my daugther's father. Not getting married again... My ex husband was VERY happy when I had my son... He was also involved since the night I found out I was pregnant. Hell, he was there... lol... He went to some (the one's once he was hurt at work and couldn't work for the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy) of my appts, and took off for my ultrasound. When I thought there was going to be a complication because of the wording of the reason I needed a 3rd ultrasound, he was as scared as me.
When I had my daughter, NO man was committed to me... I won't allow it... Yet, my EX hubby took responsibility for my daughter while her REAL father ran... The one who has the biological and moral obligations to her RAN...
That's how this is different... I am not in a relationship with either man... My ex hubby and I are not together and we are happy with our friendship as it stands... | |
|
| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:25:40 AM | The point is that we know there is a good chance that when faced with an unwanted pregnancy, if the man is not committed previously to the woman, he won't stick around to be a proper father. Women should factor that knowledge in when deciding when, with whom , and under what circumstances to have sex, and when to carry a pregnancy to term and when not to.
For example, given the above scenario of the romantic weekend, hopefully more women will say to themselves, "If I have sex without a condom and get pregnant, this guy is not likely to stick around to be a father to the child. I know I won't have an abortion, so I will end up a single mother raising a fatherless child. It's probably not a good gamble to have sex right now."
Instead of what happens all too often, when the woman throws caution to the wind because she believes if she gets pregnant, it will all work out.~futureshock~
^^^I'm sorry, but none of the replies to this thread have a reasonable answer as to WHY men run...which is the first word in the thread title. There is no justification or reasonable excuse for skipping out on dealing with whatever consequences result from an unplanned pregnancy.
I do believe that sometimes men actually reep the finacial consequence of supporting a child BECAUSE they ran away immediately after the woman told them.
That's a great way to further complicate the issue and confuse a woman even more ......and even may delay an appropriate timeline for abortion don't ya think? | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
