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| | Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 3 of 22 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22) | The day that a male birth control pill goes on the market, angels are going to break out in immaculate chorus all over the world.
It will bring a tear to my eye.
-8sf8 | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:05:26 AM |
In my case it was a romantic weekend away with my boyfriend that consisted of alot of sex, and more than a few shots of tequila.....I do believe I made mention of getting MORE condoms....but he was insistent of practicing the "rythm method" (if ya know what I mean) and relying on the new method of BC I was only on for a month.....but I digress...
In other words, you chose FATE as your preferred method of birth control as so many women do.
If you had made a couple of better choices, no kid would have resulted....
... but I understand. FATE is funner.
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:10:07 AM |
For people like me who see abortion as murder, its not an option... I spread my legs and had sex (unprotected or protected. BC doesn't always work as its supposed to...), she is MY responsibility...
I was not advocating that anyone have an abortion. I DO advocate that women stop claiming 'accidental pregnancy' when in most cases the fertilization of her egg could have been avoided by the combination of several types of BC.
I include women insisting men wear condoms as part of that BC as well.
In regards to both of my kids, I try to remember that you are never handed more than you can handle. If you are, people are put in your path to help you through. This has been true for me for a very long time... Frankly, if I can have the fun, I can deal with the "punishment"...
And, just like lizzie and countless thousands of other women, you TOO chose FATE as your BC of choice.
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:14:36 AM | But you forgot the best part, they can get any guy to pay for fate.
Fate comes with CS and government suppliments plus the unconditional love these ladies can't seem to get from men. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:15:32 AM |
^^^I'm sorry, but none of the replies to this thread have a reasonable answer as to WHY men run...which is the first word in the thread title. There is no justification or reasonable excuse for skipping out on dealing with whatever consequences result from an unplanned pregnancy.
I do believe that sometimes men actually reep the finacial consequence of supporting a child BECAUSE they ran away immediately after the woman told them.
That's a great way to further complicate the issue and confuse a woman even more ......and even may delay an appropriate timeline for abortion don't ya think?
Do you mean that if the man leaves right away, the woman is unsure about his intentions, so she cannot make an informed choice as to whether or not to have an abortion? I think I see your point here. For instance, do you mean that the woman still holds out hope that he will come back and choose to be a family, and that maybe he left because he just needed time to get over the shock, or something like that? | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:24:48 AM | | The way some here make it sound getting pregnant alone is the most traumatic thing that could happen, not the man leaving - wouldn't that be enough of a scare to make sure it didn't happen. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:28:06 AM | Do you mean that if the man leaves right away, the woman is unsure about his intentions, so she cannot make an informed choice as to whether or not to have an abortion? I think I see your point here. For instance, do you mean that the woman still holds out hope that he will come back and choose to be a family, and that maybe he left because he just needed time to get over the shock, or something like that?
No, lizzie is just using her fall-back position which is anger at men.
She's saying that men run, therefore women hit them with CS out of spite which IS common, I believe.
I was thinking about lizzie's blather this morning too as I was sitting on the throne in the bathroom, which seemed appropriate at the time, and got to thinking about another aspect of 'WHY' men run....
.... and, I think it's a difficult thing for the female brain to get around, but most men hate having someone make life altering decisions for them, especially if there is a sense of betrayal involved.
Women hold ALL the cards in regards to a child being brought into the world. They can choose to bring the kid into the world, then they can have at least some control the man's finances for the next 18-25 years. There are other, more subtle, levers of control that women can use as well once a kid is born.
And, lizzie.... if women didn't make it all about the money, maybe men might respond in a bit better way. I know that once my ex stopped trying to get more money out of me, I actually started paying for more than what I was required to pay....
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:06:06 AM | capitano_blaugh what about the man that tells you he wants to have a family with you. My ex and I tried to get pregnant for a month. We both made the decision to stop using protection.
The plan was I'd put my career on hold so we could start our family. We were going to have 3 kids. This was the plan. When our daughter was 3 months old "I don't want to be a father." "We've made a mistake". I'd rather drink and get stonned with my buddies then be a dad. "I shouldn't have to spend all my time with my child." He would spend 10 mins with her a day. I was totally alone.
After I purchased a 30k truck for the man.  then he gets to decide I don't want to be responsible for my child. Yeah he's a victim. I'm sorry but not all these men are victims from a scheming lying woman.
And this thing about money I asked him to buy one thing a car seat for our daughter. Because I had money saved up for buying baby stuff before I got pregnant. Instead of paying me back the money he owed me $1000 he went and got strips put on his mustang.
We decided as a couple to make a family. I did not trick the man. I did not dig into his pockets. Heck I supported him when he quit his job. To this day I have paid for everything for our daughter.
I do not recieve CS nor do I receive government assistance. I recieve $100 a month but so does my married cousin because thats the family allowance everyone with a child under 6 gets in canada. Luvs the assumption that every single mom is collecting welfare. We don't make that assumption about single dads now do we?
My ex did not suffer financially however I've taken a huge hit. I have not reported my ex for not paying his child support and he sends NOTHING. He never bought diapers, he sent $200 for her for xmas only because it was before our court date. And with that $200 I bought books, toys, and clothes for my daughter. So I can't be accused of using the money on myself. He didn't even send anything for her bday, not even a flipping card that I would have liked to save for her. I spend $200 a month on my daughter's education funds.
If a man is going to run or choose not to be responsible for his child its because he has no sense of responsibility. My ex see's his daughter as his possession he doesn't care about being a father. He doesn't put any work in being a father. He did not bond with his child. Instead he had a negative attitude towards her.
Even if the pregnancy was unplanned that is still ur child. If u can't stand the mother well u shouldn't have had sex with her. Men should be smarter about who they have sex with.
And maybe men shouldn't make empty promises and walk away from their responsibility. You can't generalize capitano_blaugh. Because there are some wonderful single dads who take on the responsibility of raising their kids. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:17:25 AM | Jenn, I feel for you and espeically your child that he changed his mind after the planned child was born. That is a different circumstance all together and yes, he should absolutely be helping to support his child.
have not reported my ex for not paying his child support and he sends NOTHING
Well, you should. Don't wait around for his morality gene to kick in.
That said, one comment that struck a nerve with me...
Men should be smarter about who they have sex with.
But, so should women.
It is just not that black and white...
It does show to their character and lack of long term thought to the effects on either of our lives if they do not make any moves towards making sure one or both of us are protected, but if WE still choose to have sex with them, then it falls to us to make sure that one or both of us uses birth control to prevent a pregnancy that without having to be stated is most likely unwanted on at least one side. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:38:09 AM |
capitano_blaugh what about the man that tells you he wants to have a family with you. My ex and I tried to get pregnant for a month. We both made the decision to stop using protection.
The guy's an ass.hole. Simple.
And maybe men shouldn't make empty promises and walk away from their responsibility. You can't generalize capitano_blaugh.
I agree. And, some things ARE generally true in MOST cases. MOST men DO dislike having women make life-altering decisions that have profound consequences for the men.
THAT is generally true....
P.S. - you often bring up the 30K truck. Dump that thing and buy something you can afford. Why keep it?
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:48:14 AM | Capitano... I don't choose "fate" as my method of birth control... When I had my son, I was on the pill AND we used condoms. It turns out that if you are on the pill for a couple years, that your body makes the hormones in the pill your natural hormones and there for render the pill ineffective. Added to that, condoms DO break.
With my daugther, I trusted the "keep track of your ovulation" method. I'd bought a kit and everything. I always checked to see if I was ovulating. To me, that was the only choice to "safe sex"... I don't have faith in birth control anymore.
My birth control now... My tubes are tied and I don't have time to have sex. Added to the fact that you tend to need a man for that...
Now to the "fate" as birth control... Like I said, I don't use that as my method of birth control... What I meant by my comment was that even if I do use conventional methods of birth control (like we did with my son) and end up pregnant ANYWAY, then my comment holds true... If you are intended to have a child at a particular time, then you will have that child... And no matter the circumstances, you will get through it. For instance, I wouldn't wish the hurdles and issues we've had with my son on my worst enemy... But I wouldn't change any of it... | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:01:35 PM |
With my daugther, I trusted the "keep track of your ovulation" method. I'd bought a kit and everything. I always checked to see if I was ovulating. To me, that was the only choice to "safe sex"... I don't have faith in birth control anymore.
I'm a bit skeptical about your tidbit about the pill, but the rythm method is notoriously unreliable.
So, you have no faith in BC, therefore, you rely on FATE.
Is there a reason why an IUD, female sponge, diaphragm, ring, shield, cap, shot, female condom, patch, abstinence, Plan B or any number of combinations couldn't have been employed?
Sorry, I'm in the camp that believes that if a woman doesn't want to get pregnant and bring a kid into the world, it will not happen.
If you are intended to have a child at a particular time, then you will have that child...
But, this is Magical Thinking which includes FATE as your method of BC .
Cheers. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:25:00 PM | It wasn't the rythym method... It is how many parents GET pregnant... I used it to know when NOT to get pregnant. I know I screwed up when I had my daughter... I'd just finished my period, and the previous year had shown that I was NOT fertile that day... So I thought I was safe... Apparently I wasn't... Oh well, I made my bed... I'm now sleeping in it and enjoying the sleep!!!!
Try reading my ENTIRE comment on this one...
What I meant by my comment was that even if I do use conventional methods of birth control (like we did with my son) and end up pregnant ANYWAY, then my comment holds true... If you are intended to have a child at a particular time, then you will have that child
Pay particular attention to the "even if I do use conventional methods of birth control... and end up pregnant ANYWAY"
Whether I used the pill or not, when my ex and I got pregnant, we MADE SURE we used a condom and it BROKE. We used birth control... How is that using Fate as birth control????? I guess to you, having your tubes tied (a vasectomy for men) would be using FATE as birth control too.... Tying your tubes is as effective using any and all other forms of birth control... So if I do have sex and end up pregnant, by your logic, I did nothing to protect myself and used FATE as birth control... | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:35:07 PM |
If you are intended to have a child at a particular time, then you will have that child
The above statement is Magical Thinking.
I have never said that accidents do not happen. I acknowledge that they DO happen...
... but I also contend that if a person is diligent about NOT conceiving, they will NOT get pregnant. Plan B is a great option. I don't know why every fertile woman doesn't have some on hand.
You stated that you had no faith in BC while there are numerous non-chemical/hormonal alternatives.
I think getting your tubes tied is excellent.
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:43:15 PM | | I understand your way of thinking that it is magical thinking and fate and blah blah blah... But to understand what I mean, you have to take the ENTIRE comment into effect... You can be on every form of birth control (I know, it'll never happen), use condoms, track your ovualtion, go to the doc constantly to make sure you cant get pregnant on that particular day, and STILL get pregnant... That would imply that you were INTENDED to have that baby... Like in my situation, my tubes are tied, and if I can find someone to have sex (doesn't happen very often...), we use a condom and I still get pregnant... What then? Did I not protect myself and take the neccessary precautions? I think so... Yet... I still get pregnant... (Keep in mind this is all hypothetical) Wouldn't it be safe to say that FATE intervened? | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:46:19 PM |
if women didn't make it all about the money, maybe men might respond in a bit better way. I know that once my ex stopped trying to get more money out of me, I actually started paying for more than what I was required to pay
I think as it pertains to the topic of the men who run "at the first sign of pregnancy," they already know the financial issue is likely imminent. What makes them run is knowing that they're now going to be bound to the woman carrying their child for an indefinite amount of time, if it's someone they weren't particularly fond of in the first place. Running doesn't mean they can necessarily get away, it's just a natural defence mechanism that kicks in to try and get them out of something that they don't want to be in. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:47:11 PM |
Plan B is a great option. I don't know why every fertile woman doesn't have some on hand
Plan B (aka known as the morning after pill) does not work if you are already pregnant and you take it. My friend is pregnant and due in November. She was not on birth control when the condom broke. The next morning she took Plan B. To my knowledge u have to go to a pharmacy to get it, so it was easily accessible considering she works in a pharmacy. A couple months later she went to the doctor for a bad sinus infection and found out she was pregnant.
The only thing Plan B does is prevent ovulation, if it has already occured and there are sperm present it won't work. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:19:12 PM |
Capitano... I don't choose "fate" as my method of birth control... When I had my son, I was on the pill AND we used condoms. It turns out that if you are on the pill for a couple years, that your body makes the hormones in the pill your natural hormones and there for render the pill ineffective.
This is untrue as stated. Perhaps it was worded incorrectly?
Added to that, condoms DO break.
With my daugther, I trusted the "keep track of your ovulation" method. I'd bought a kit and everything. I always checked to see if I was ovulating. To me, that was the only choice to "safe sex"... I don't have faith in birth control anymore.
Keeping track of your ovulation helps get pregnant but it doesn't help prevent pregnancy because it does not take into account how long the sperm will live. If you have sex on Monday because your ovulation kit indicates that you have not ovulated, you can still get pregnant, because the sperm can live until at least Friday. If you ovulate Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, you stand a good chance of becoming pregnant, in this scenario.
I understand your way of thinking that it is magical thinking and fate and blah blah blah... But to understand what I mean, you have to take the ENTIRE comment into effect... You can be on every form of birth control (I know, it'll never happen), use condoms, track your ovualtion, go to the doc constantly to make sure you cant get pregnant on that particular day, and STILL get pregnant... That would imply that you were INTENDED to have that baby... Like in my situation, my tubes are tied, and if I can find someone to have sex (doesn't happen very often...), we use a condom and I still get pregnant... What then? Did I not protect myself and take the neccessary precautions? I think so... Yet... I still get pregnant... (Keep in mind this is all hypothetical) Wouldn't it be safe to say that FATE intervened?
There are no magical forces or outside agencies intending for you to become pregnant. "Fate" also lacks agency and is incapable of intervening.
Plan B (aka known as the morning after pill) does not work if you are already pregnant and you take it. My friend is pregnant and due in November. She was not on birth control when the condom broke. The next morning she took Plan B. To my knowledge u have to go to a pharmacy to get it, so it was easily accessible considering she works in a pharmacy. A couple months later she went to the doctor for a bad sinus infection and found out she was pregnant.
The only thing Plan B does is prevent ovulation, if it has already occured and there are sperm present it won't work.
Very true. I think the poster who mentioned Plan B meant when the condom broke, perhaps Plan B may have helped avoid the resulting pregnancy. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:28:08 PM |
Capitano... I don't choose "fate" as my method of birth control... When I had my son, I was on the pill AND we used condoms. It turns out that if you are on the pill for a couple years, that your body makes the hormones in the pill your natural hormones and there for render the pill ineffective.
This is untrue as stated. Perhaps it was worded incorrectly?
How is this statement untrue??? Ever heard of your body becoming immune to different diseases or tolerant to different medicaitons? If you're on it for an extended period of time, your body becomes used to that particular dose, and it doesn't work anymore... That's why drug addicts need more and more of their poison of choice to get the same high... Or why when you first start drinking, one or two drinks get you nice and toasty... Over time it takes more and more... Its part of our body's ability to adapt... So please explain why this is untrue...
Fate only fails to intervene if you do not believe in it... I do... Everything happens for a reason... I got pregnant with my daughter for a reason.. Not a reason I chose, but one God, fate, whatever chose... If I hadn't had my daughter when I did, I would be dead by now... | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:34:26 PM |
The only thing Plan B does is prevent ovulation, if it has already occured and there are sperm present it won't work.
Not true according to what I understand about it:
http://www.planb.ca/how.html
Plan B is simple to use
And remember the sooner you take it the more effective it is.
plan B is two pills which you take together. If taken within 72 hours, it prevents pregnancy by doing one of three things:
-Temporarily stops the release of an egg from the ovary
-Prevents fertilization
-Prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus
plan B is not an abortion pill—if you take plan B you will not be terminating a pregnancy.
If you are already pregnant and take plan B, there’s no evidence that plan B will harm you or the fetus.
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:38:52 PM |
Fate only fails to intervene if you do not believe in it... I do... Everything happens for a reason... I got pregnant with my daughter for a reason.. Not a reason I chose, but one God, fate, whatever chose... If I hadn't had my daughter when I did, I would be dead by now...
If that works for you, cool, but it is still Magical Thinking.
See, I'm a great believer in personal responsibility and self determination. I don't rely on FATE or any other agency for what happens in my life.
According to Magical Thinking, men run because of a woman's FATE or some agency which intends/determines that he will run....
... so, you got what was intended for you, I suppose.
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:53:48 PM | Fate can also be getting pregnant when you're told you CAN'T get pregnant.
One of my friends broke her pelvis when she was younger. The doctor told her that she would never have kids because the pelvis would rupture the uterus. She has 2 kids. Two other of my friends were told they'd never carry to term. They have kids.
I agree with personal responsibility... If you don't want kids, use some form of birth control. But, sometimes something else steps in the way and says "Nope, we want things to happen this way."
Its not really Fate... But FAITH...
Greater personal responsibility... That includes when you get pregnant, (whether being planned for months or years or an "oops") being responsible for the life you carry inside you. Caring for yourself in such a way that the baby is born healthy... What about those parents that do EVERYTHING right. Don't smoke, drink, eat right, exercise properly, etc etc and still have a child with health issues. Especially with disorders that are not gentetic or there is no family history of it. A "fluke".... Are they to be blamed for their child being born with disabilities? It would make sense with your "if it happens, you planned it" theory... | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:55:09 PM | How is this statement untrue??? Ever heard of your body becoming immune to different diseases or tolerant to different medicaitons? If you're on it for an extended period of time, your body becomes used to that particular dose, and it doesn't work anymore... That's why drug addicts need more and more of their poison of choice to get the same high... Or why when you first start drinking, one or two drinks get you nice and toasty... Over time it takes more and more... Its part of our body's ability to adapt... So please explain why this is untrue...
You originally stated the following:
When I had my son, I was on the pill AND we used condoms. It turns out that if you are on the pill for a couple years, that your body makes the hormones in the pill your natural hormones and there for render the pill ineffective.
If women became immune to their birth control dosage every two years, as you have indicated was the case for you, your doctor would adjust the dosage accordingly. Women have been taking hormonal contraception for close to four decades now, so if immunity were an issue it would be being dealt with by the prescribing physician.
Re: [Birth Control] Becoming Immune to the Pill
From: Hector Nemirovsky M.D. (anonymous@obgyn.net)
• Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]
• Next message: R. Daniel Braun, MD: "Re: severe chest pain...help me please...."
• Previous message: Hector Nemirovsky M.D.: "Re: Dr. Nemirovsky - Adenomyosis"
• In reply to: Raven: "[Birth Control] Becoming Immune to the Pill"
>At Tue, 25 Mar 2003, Raven wrote: >
>I have recently had a friend become pregnant, not only is she on the
>pill but also has many medical problems which would make it difficult
>for her to conceive. She reasons that because she's been on the same
>brand of birth control for 13 years that it is possible for the pill to
>become ineffective. Is this true, should one switch pills after a
>certain amount of time, so that your body dosen't become 'immune' to
>them?
>
>--
>thank you,
>Raven
>
No it isn't true.
--
Hector Nemirovsky M.D.
http://forums.obgyn.net/womens-health/WHF.0303/2554.html
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:56:16 PM | Plan B (aka known as the morning after pill) does not work if you are already pregnant and you take it.
Yeah, if you wait till anytime after three days of unprotected sex before taking it.
It is not a magic pill. You have to take it very soon after birth control FAILS or if you were not utilizing any at all. If it is the two step pill, you have to take both of them in the time frame indicated.
It is not an abortion pill. If you wait a week and the egg is already fertilized, then yeah, Plan B ain't gonna do a thing.
Never heard of a woman getting pregnant by taking Plan B correctly.
You ladies must be with stallions for these condoms to be breaking all the time... | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:00:54 PM |
A "fluke".... Are they to be blamed for their child being born with disabilities? It would make sense with your "if it happens, you planned it" theory...
I think what he's trying to say is that flukes aren't as common as people being irresponsible. I think he's saying that the majority of people on here crying about the deadbeat "sperm donors" of their children didn't just happen by accident. They made a choice to do something when they weren't fully prepared to prevent the consequences they also weren't prepared for.
However, I could be wrong. That's what I'm getting though. | |
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