| | Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 5 of 22 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22) | If a couple are using birth control, the implication is that they DO NOT want a kid at this time. If then suddenly the woman find herself PG and says well I changed my mind, then the burden should be solely on her to accept ALL responsibility.
The Baseball analogy fails, no smart person bats at an out of bounds ball, and if you do and the ball goes foul, do not pass GO< do not collect $200 and there is no go to Home Plate. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:31:04 AM |
If a couple are using birth control, the implication is that they DO NOT want a kid at this time. If then suddenly the woman find herself PG and says well I changed my mind, then the burden should be solely on her to accept ALL responsibility.
Yep!
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:41:02 AM |
My point that you seem to be missing is that BOTH parties have to account for their actions. Women account by having the joy of raising the kids and men by PAYING for them... And there's no guarantee he'll get to take part in the raising... Even if his rights are stripped, he still has to pay child support for that child. At least that's how it is in my state... Well if nothing else, you've been able to help me illustrate my point about how the child itself may not be the actual reason why men run. Thanks.  Exactly!!
The point *you* seem to continually be missing jla (well, actually, there are numerous ones, but the main one) is that both parties DO NOT HAVE TO ACCOUNT for their actions.
Whether you like it or not, a man who wants to have zero involvement, including not paying, can and will find a way to do that.
And that is why, IT IS A FACT that a if woman is certain she does not want to get pregnant holds all the cards at the end of the day. Not only does she have to make sure she is fully protecting herself by using an effective method of BC *for her* but she has to refuse to sleep with any man who will not use a condom.
Doesn't matter a damn whether you think that's how it should be. That's how it is.
It goes without saying that if a man and woman agree to rely soley on whatever method of BC she is using, that they are both fully aware of the increased risk of a pregnancy and are willing to deal with that together in a way they are both open to (ie. if one is vehemently against abortion and the other isn't, then "cheque please"..); then in that case it would be ideal if both of them then kept that agreement. But as we all know, "ideal" is much more the exception than the rule.
Any women who has sex without using her own BC + a condom who doesn't do so accepting there's a much higher risk of becoming a single parent is either stupid, uneducated or in denial.
Not even going to delve into the whole 'women becoming immune to the pill' fiasco...
Women account by having the joy of raising the kids and men by PAYING for them... And there's no guarantee he'll get to take part in the raising... Even if his rights are stripped, he still has to pay child support for that child. At least that's how it is in my state.. OH........MY........GOD.............
And we wonder why men are quick to negatively stereotype women and single mothers and/to shy away from dating or getting involved with them......  | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:50:58 AM |
If a couple are using birth control, the implication is that they DO NOT want a kid at this time. If then suddenly the woman find herself PG and says well I changed my mind, then the burden should be solely on her to accept ALL responsibility. This needs clarification IMHO.
If a couple are *each* using birth control, then the implication is that the do not want a child. A man relying solely on a woman's BC is an idiot, as is a woman who relies solely on condoms. In either instance then the implication is they're willing to take a much increased risk of pregnancy.
If they are both using that BC properly it is almost impossible for a pregnancy to occur. A woman isn't going to "suddenly" find herself pregnant unless one of them fails to use the BC properly. Now, that could well be the man and in fact, they may never know for sure 'who is to blame'.
And if a woman, upon realising it is not in her to abort or give up that baby, then IMHO the burden should not be solely on her to accept all repsonsibility.
If however a woman has been deliberately deceptive/reckless, that is a different story. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:00:01 AM |
If they are both using that BC properly it is almost impossible for a pregnancy to occur. A woman isn't going to "suddenly" find herself pregnant unless one of them fails to use the BC properly.
I completely agree with you on this one. It's just weird how SO many women (on this forum alone) claim that's the exact reason they got pregnant. If it's almost impossible, then I'm kinda thinking the young ladies on this forum aren't being very truthful. Hm? | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:25:59 AM |
If they are both using that BC properly it is almost impossible for a pregnancy to occur. A woman isn't going to "suddenly" find herself pregnant unless one of them fails to use the BC properly. I completely agree with you on this one. It's just weird how SO many women (on this forum alone) claim that's the exact reason they got pregnant. If it's almost impossible, then I'm kinda thinking the young ladies on this forum aren't being very truthful. Hm?
I agree, which leads me to my next question. In the situation in which a man and woman are in a relationship, unmarried, and using birth control, WHY would the woman become lax in her birth control regimen and throw caution to the wind, relying on fate to decide when she becomes pregnant? Why wouldn't a woman wait until she and her partner have either gotten married or at least discussed and agreed to have a child together?
I agree with the Captain that it is this usurping of a person's ability to decide for themselves when to have a child which causes men to run. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 11:53:46 AM | to say women put Men like sex but are willing to say whatever and roll those dice mainly because the stakes they put on the table are minimal.
If anyone should be a little more wary of whether the house cheats it should be women for the chips they place on the table are worth many times that of any man. is not true for all men i put more on the table in then my x wife we planned the 2 most beautiful kids a boy and girl and she tried to kill them after my second was born i have been a single dad now for three years and your who puts up the most in a the relationship depends on who is the dead beat which i know i men far more then women but women are catching up and why men run is because there stupid there is know way im missing my baby's grow up i will never understand why a parent could walk from there child i love being a dad more then any thing weather im a single dad or not why my x wife did what she did or why she never showed up to fight for them is beyond me i just never thought that being a single dad would make me so unappealing to girls but life is what it is all that matters is i got my kids | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:02:03 PM | | she tried to suffocate Damian the oldest my mom walked and stopped her chucked the newborn later that night when i got home i did catch my little girl she did not get hurt that's why she not in jail she left that night we haven't seen or heard from her since but of course there is a lot more to the story but that the gist | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:22:26 PM | She may have had post partum psychosis. But... What I say means absolutely nothing in here... No matter what my doctor's said about how I got pregnant with my son I'm always wrong. I have my views and if you people don't like em, F all of you. I KNOW women bare the brunt of the responsibility. My point is a MAN will never run. I'm with jamesdleo. I can't understand how someone can walk away from their kids.
James, I'm sorry for what your ex wife said. I do think that she has post partum psychosis. Check it out. She needs help. It can cause new moms to do some crazy things that they would never do otherwise. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:22:11 PM | Do you mean that if the man leaves right away, the woman is unsure about his intentions, so she cannot make an informed choice as to whether or not to have an abortion? I think I see your point here. For instance, do you mean that the woman still holds out hope that he will come back and choose to be a family, and that maybe he left because he just needed time to get over the shock, or something like that?~futureshock~
^^^Something close to that...but not the fairy tale to that extreme, that you describe.
It is obvious some men haven't figured out that running away from a problem like this as an adult dosen't make it go away.
She's saying that men run, therefore women hit them with CS out of spite which IS common, I believe.~capitano~
^^^Not saying that at all...I am saying men confuse and complicate the issue by not wanting to deal with the many emotional issues women may have when dealing with such a big unexpected scary dilema.
BTW...child support is already a given right if the mother chooses to pursue it...so why continue to crab and moan about it?
I think it's a difficult thing for the female brain to get around, but most men hate having someone make life altering decisions for them, especially if there is a sense of betrayal involved.~capitano~
^^^The road to hell is often paved with the best of intentions capitano....that sword cuts both ways...don't ya think?
Women hold ALL the cards in regards to a child being brought into the world. They can choose to bring the kid into the world, then they can have at least some control the man's finances for the next 18-25 years. There are other, more subtle, levers of control that women can use as well once a kid is born.
And, lizzie.... if women didn't make it all about the money, maybe men might respond in a bit better way. I know that once my ex stopped trying to get more money out of me, I actually started paying for more than what I was required to pay.....~capitano~
^^^^ So your saying that if money wasn't a factor...than more men would stick around to deal with the dilema of an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy?
And, capi....if some men didn't treat and discard women (and children for that matter) like a used kleenex....maybe then women would be more reasonable when or if the finacial conversation had to happen for child support.
However...the title of the thread is "Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?"
I already know the answer to that....but go ahead and continue to defend and justify your reasons along with the other part of the herd in here.
****and BTW....sometimes it isn't all about money...most times it isn't about money. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:29:05 PM |
In the situation in which a man and woman are in a relationship, unmarried, and using birth control, WHY would the woman become lax in her birth control regimen and throw caution to the wind, relying on fate to decide when she becomes pregnant? Why wouldn't a woman wait until she and her partner have either gotten married or at least discussed and agreed to have a child together?
Well, smart women would. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:58:22 PM | To be honest I feel like if a man is going to run he is going to run regardless if the pregnancy was planned or wasn't. Its not about the money, its not about even the woman its about the responsibility of having a child. Its how that man views his child, if he bonds with that child.
I think some men are just not meant to be fathers and the same can be said about women. Some women shouldn't be mothers.
I thought I did everything right. Had a guy that said he loved me, that he wanted to have a family with me. Doesn't matter that he said he wanted our child because when she was born he wouldn't even hold her. He wanted a daughter with blonde hair blue eyes and that was what we had and he just didn't want to have anything to do with raising her.
You can't bond with a child u refuse to hold. Some people are just irresponsible. And walking away from ur child is irresponsible. And u can't justify it with any excuses. What's my ex excuse for not seeing his daughter in over a yr?
I haven't reported him for not paying his cs because I don't want to poke the bear. I used to send pictures but I stopped. I got tired of begging him to be a part of his daughter's life and to be the father she deserves. It seriously just falls upon deaf ears.
Not every man is cut out to be a father. I see my dad with my daughter. And he spends so much time with her. He takes her for walks, to the park all things I thought my ex was going to do and he never did.
I don't think he deserves to be defended or his actions justified by something wrong I might have done. What did I do but love him and give him a beautiful daughter? When all I asked for was for him to be a good father? Is that too much to ask from a man???
When I got pregnant I was working in an office and there was a girl that had gotten pregnant after a one night stand. She told me "your so lucky your doing this with a partner". Well little did we both know I'd wind up being a single mom too. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 10:00:47 PM | In the situation in which a man and woman are in a relationship, unmarried, and using birth control, WHY would the woman become lax in her birth control regimen and throw caution to the wind, relying on fate to decide when she becomes pregnant? Why wouldn't a woman wait until she and her partner have either gotten married or at least discussed and agreed to have a child together?~futureshock~
^^^^....
You have never had tequila sucked out of your navel...have ya?... 
Stop asking the WHY question.....it is getting so old!!
Women sometimes get pregnant when the man's penis shoots sperm into the vagina! | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 10:50:09 PM |
You have never had tequila sucked out of your navel...have ya?...
Oh great! Now we're going to start the great debate that it's up to Jose Cuervo to supply the birth control. Just frickin' wonderful! | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 11:27:48 PM |
In the situation in which a man and woman are in a relationship, unmarried, and using birth control, WHY would the woman become lax in her birth control regimen and throw caution to the wind, relying on fate to decide when she becomes pregnant? Why wouldn't a woman wait until she and her partner have either gotten married or at least discussed and agreed to have a child together?~futureshock~ ^^^^.... You have never had tequila sucked out of your navel...have ya?... Stop asking the WHY question.....it is getting so old!! Women sometimes get pregnant when the man's penis shoots sperm into the vagina!
I will stop asking the WHY question when I start getting some answers. There are many people, myself included, who think the recent increases in the percentages of children born into homes without two parents is having a negative impact on our society. This doesn't mean that every single situation in which an unwed woman has a child with no committed father contributes to this negative impact.
The reasons why this is happening with increasing frequency might have more to do with men than with women. It is possible that there are so many men who are unwilling to commit to marriage until later in life, that women are left to bring children into the world before the men are on board with the idea.
We won't know until we start getting some honest answers. Women saying they got pregnant while using birth control and then were compelled to have and keep the child isn't helpful. Women aren't having any more sex now than they did a decade or two ago, and yet the numbers of them getting pregnant while supposedly trying not to, and deciding to have and keep the child is exponentially higher for an unknown reason.
Birth control did not suddenly become less effective. So what has changed? | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:19:06 AM |
Birth control did not suddenly become less effective. So what has changed?
I think this thread has already illustrated what has changed. In our infinite wisdom to create laws that hold everyone else accountable for our actions, an unfortunate amount of women have decided to absolve themselves of personal accountability. Sure, they'll accept the responsibility that accompanies having a child, but they no longer hold themselves accountable for their part in contributing to or preventing a pregnancy.We have become a society that blames everyone else for not protecting us from our own stupidity. You need look no further than that tard who sued Winnebago (and won) because she put her RV on cruise control and then went into the back to make a sandwich. That's what we have become... a society that rewards the stupid for being stupid. Stupidity has become more of a badge of honour than a symbol of shame. I bet if you took out automatic child support, you'd likely see a significant decrease in the number of women who were so wreckless in ensuring adequate birth control measures were being taken before engaging in sexual activity. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:09:51 AM | I have always took responsibility when it comes to birth controll, I fully understand the risks of sex. I am 28 years old and I have yet to get anyone pregnant. now if I would have got someone pregnant I would have done the responsible thing. But I understand that most men are not like that.
Only one time where i have not been responsible and I was very lucky. but i still understood the risks involved. one thing I do not like is dead beat dads. if you get a woman pregnant you are not obligated to stay with her but at least be there for her during the pregnancy, be there for the birth and discuss what are your options.
it makes me sick when people can't make the responsible choices. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 10:29:29 AM | Patrick, (message 119) I like your rare style. You ARE one of the few who will actually grow a set of b*lls and take the responsibility. - amen to that
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:02:30 PM | Wow, this debate's gone on a few pages more, but I suppose I could point out the other thread where it went on in excess of 40 pages.
THAT said . . are we still exactly sure what the OP meant? It seems a bit ambiguous to me whether me meant a couple dating and she gets pregnant, or a man and woman meeting, then somewhere along the way she mentions she's already pregnant by another man (ie: from prior to when she met the current guy). | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:10:08 AM | Well the sad part..it goes both ways..they have dead beat dad laws..but no dead beat mom laws.
I have had my daughter on my own since she was 2 months old..she wont work cause she doesnt want to pay child support etc.. same crap women complain about fathers
sad part I know ALOT of single fathers..it begining to be the new thing..women are not stick around after having the kids.Makes ya wanna  | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:33:35 AM | | I was married, my pregnancy was planned....when we split up he took responsibility for a while, when he wanted me to talk to him. When he found out about me moving on with someone new, the payments stopped & he got his girlfriend of only 2-3 months pregnant, on purpose, for spite. Now if I was his new girlfriend, why would *I* let myself get pregnant by a guy who I knew did this? Oh ya, she thinks she's going to be "different", that'd he'd support her kid no matter what etc. | |
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| Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:37:47 AM |
If a couple are using birth control, the implication is that they DO NOT want a kid at this time. If then suddenly the woman find herself PG and says well I changed my mind, then the burden should be solely on her to accept ALL responsibility.
What if they don't believe in abortion? I don't. Especially as I had a miscarriage, and it hit me really hard emotionally. It wouldn't be a matter of "changing my mind", just morally wrong to me to do that. So i'd keep the pregnancy, and concider adoption but then...that's not easy either as after 9 months of growing a baby you can go from "I don't want a baby" to getting attached. And I don't think she should be *forced* to accept all responsibility financially unless she wants to do it alone. | |
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