| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:10:37 AM | | Personally when Im with the right person there is no such things as a bad time or place to let them know I want them. IMO being into sex is meaningless...Being into sex with the right person ...yea that rocks...when I cant get enough of you...vs enough sex. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:11:02 AM | let people know about the inner child..the little girl
I disagree..this is a bad move..we do not need to open our wound files or healing certificate papers for all to see..or to do our inner child work or John Bradshaw stuff while letting a guy know we are INTO sex..as the OP states she is trying to get across..
OP:
you are a human being..so MEN will know you are into it..
YOUR spirit..upbeatness..happiness and life energy will let them know how much..they will FEEL it...
IF they want a WHOLE woman...
T | |
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Aly2u
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Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 28 | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:38:40 AM | Okay, OP, I don't think you're being entirely truthful to yourself about this all, but then again, many women aren't when it comes to sex & self-image. Let's be honest -- you're not going to wait until you've got an established relationship before you have sex with a guy. Sure, you'd like to -- but you don't want to feel like a "skank", and that's your biggest fear. You're probably the kind of gal who's said the classic "I just want you to know, I NEVER do this..." when lying in bed with a guy after sex after the 1st or 2nd date, right? ;) Like those who love drinking beer, rarely is it limited to "just a couple drinks", when in the outset they don't want to get wasted, but it goes further than they intended.
With all that said, there's no reason you have to tell a guy you're really into sex and how you like it so much, if you're serious-relationship hunting -- that's just drumming up the sexual tension, and we both know it's going to happen sooner rather than later if done that way. You can get something out of the way and say, "Yeah, I'm no prude, trust me! But I don't like the focal point being on sex when I'm in the early stages of dating, because I prefer not to have sex before a relationship... but that doesn't mean I don't love it to death when I'm in an exclusive relationship."
But if two people are talking about sex, their favorite positions, etc etc -- it doesn't mean sex will happen on a first date, but I'd find it hard to believe that a non-total-tease and a guy are going to be able to contain themselves for too long. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 12:29:34 PM |
...that you are into sex, without making him think you're a total skank? LoL.
But, I have had a serious relationship and have a, shall we say, very healthy appetite for sex. But, on the other hand, I have absolutely NO intention of giving it up any time soon. Even when I do find someone I'm really into, I would like to wait a while and make sure there's the possibility of a relationship before going the extra steps to sex.
Any ideas? You are seeking a paradox. Most guys, when you mention you like sex, are going to just immediately form sexual opinions about you and want sex. For you OP, there's no sense really to get into sex talk until you give him the green light for sex. Just hold off on sexual flirting and banter until you find a guy who has the qualities in a partner that you seek AND you are ready to bed down with him. Both conditions true. Then go to town on each other! In other words, don't mix your "relationship-worthy" behaviors with sex talk. Just assume if a guy sticks around while you drag out the physical exploration side of the relationship equation discovering if he's someone you want to have sex with, that means he'll be sexually compatible with you. In other words, most guys will have sex at the drop of the hat WHEN YOU DROP THE HAT!  | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 12:48:06 PM |
it's all in the kiss
very true, and in the look. ..and it goes both ways...I can always tell..especially now; enough said =) | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 1:36:19 PM | Good question OP.
I know just what you mean!
So many people think I'm really prim and proper when they first meet me. Just last night a cab driver told me when I made a bit of a crude double entendre joke about a story he was telling me that I'm maybe more than just my airs and graces. I'm no skank either, and like good manners and polite behaviour, but it doesn't mean I'm a total prude. I always try to be friendly and warm, but somehow I get the impression that maybe I'm not as approachable as I think and that my full character doesn't come through.
I look forward to some suitable advice on this thread! | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 3:56:20 PM | Well, I'm just trying to figure this out. It seems to me that most guys I start chatting with on here (or anywhere for that matter) go pretty damn fast to the topic of sex. So, if the topic comes up that fast, I just want to be prepared. I think it's weird that people ask about # of sexual partners, sexual experiences, etc. before even meeting me. I mean, what if we meet and there's less than no attraction from either side? It's such an irrelevant topic at that point.
OP, I have said this before and I will say it again, if a guy starts asking questions he really shouldnt be asking, *block* and NEXT. (you use this as a weeding tool, to find the right guy.) I have learned the hard way, like Im sure most women on line have learned. When a guy is asking sexual questions right off in the beginning, he is not looking at you for his next girlfriend, he is looking at you as his next sex quest.
If a guy has any respect toward women, he would never, never ask those kinds of questions.
If you are worried that he isnt going to know how sexual you are, he WILL find out after the first time you guys are together. If YOU let it get that far.
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 5:03:25 PM | You don't tell him you're "into sex" because yes, that makes you sound like a skank.
You tell him that you want to have sex WITH HIM.
Make HIM feel important, rather than just another notch in your bedpost.
Why would even WANT to degrade him by making him believe all you want is sex, and not HIM? | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 5:28:53 PM | Are you a nun, an alien, or a coma patient?
If you answered NO, to the above, then it's assumed you are interested in sex to some degree. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 5:37:38 PM | What the hell is wrong with just being yourself?
I've never been one to be one way or another just to please someone else! Do what YOUR comfortable with and screw what people think!
Everyone spends so much time worring about what "others" think. WHY? Someone out there will always disapprove of something you do or say one way or another.
Get over it and invest in enough selfesteem to just be YOU! | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:07:18 PM |
I think you're trying to get across you want a guy who has a pretty high sex drive and is quite secure with himself but isn't going to dump you after a few sexy times?
Don't whatever you do be too flirty with guys as it might just attract the dogs who want to get their****wet and not give anything back.
You've hit it right on the head EXO!!! | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:11:39 PM | How do you let a guy know......that you are into sex, without making him think you're a total skank? LoL.
Date men who respect women and people in general! Get to know him before you drop your drawers! | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/9/2009 1:00:41 AM | | Tell him while you are by no means a prude, sex is too intimate and special to share indiscriminately. I'm in the process of discriminating. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/9/2009 2:52:11 AM | | take it slowly...make it a challenge...see them and then eventually have sex...sex is like going to the dentist...fir you get cleaning and chek up...then you get the procedures done...but not in the same day...take care...hope you are doing well and get your enjoymnet | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/9/2009 2:16:26 PM | | just let them know that you don't rush into sex but once in a comfortable situation, you love it and require it even. Several times a day. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:25:35 AM | Hi
How many people hold back being the person they can be.
It is often due to people fearing rejection or not being accepted as a aperson.
Some people will alow the physical attraction to be the decider as to a realtionship.
Rather than seeing the true spiritual values of the person in front of you.
People can put on a front and tell you what you want to hear.
But if a person is patient and honest it will show over alonger period of time.
How many people will sleep with another person with our even getting to know them?
Just to fulfill the basic physical needs?
What is important to us all is the emotional needs which we were born with.
To feel wanted loved nutrued and protected. Yet as an adult we learn to protect our self.
Yet protecting our self does not mean living in fear but to be aware.
I am old enough to know now that what people think fo me is their problem.
The truth is I know who I am today and that is what important.
I embrace spiritual values and honesty is the most important thing in any healthy realtionship.
When I see beauty in a woman I see beyond the person pleasing make up and the dressing.
I see the innocence of the inner child. That is very powerful.
In time I was able to admit to myself my own insecuirty inadequacy and sexuality.
In doing so I am able to be myself and what you see is what you get.
Dont confuse a realtionship by making sex the be all and end all.
Honesty and spirtual values is what counts after 39 years of amrriage.
Love
Dave | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:24:37 PM | | OP - So you want to tell this guy that you're really into sex but he can't have any in the near future? I say you put off the conversation until you're heading in that direction. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:47:28 AM | | Their is two guys that i know, Both guy i dated a short time, but both guy begg for sexs, i tell them no and they keep on begging, what should i do. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:17:47 PM | | That always seemed to be an issue with both of my ex's. I had a very high sex drive (hell still do), but after being married ahwile, both turned cold. The last one not as bad. I am sure there are ways to let a guy know that your sexual appetite is high, without making him see you as a tramp. I personally use a humerous approach as I am that type, but I won't bring it up unless the subject has already been broached, or I feel she already respects me as a person. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:59:36 PM | why say it, just let them find out. what we say can deffinately be taken wrong or be too forward for some men. If you dig sex, let him find out for himself.
^T^ | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/14/2009 3:41:35 AM | The responses to this thread have been quite interesting....
I'm not sure I understand why two adults cannot discuss sex in a detached manner before entering into a sexual relationship. As an example, one might say "Before I date someone, I like to have an idea about their attitudes regarding physical intimacy, as that's an area where I think compatibility is important". The conversation can move on from there; talk hypothetically, never focusing on anything too personal or specific.
What I'm trying to say is that you can talk about sex in a completely non-sexy manner, which, if done properly, shouldn't give the other person the idea that you are only looking for sex, or that you are promiscuous. Sex is not a "want it" or "don't want it" proposition; people vary considerably in their preferences and libido, and major differences can lead to the breakdown of relationships. Thus I think that this is rather important to discuss when trying to find a suitable mate and cannot see why two reasonable adults cannot discuss this before hitting the sheets. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:09:40 AM | it all just happens naturally... and I am certainly not one that sits around and waits to be led by the hand... its pretty understood its a mutual thing in the eyes...
however, Ive had women just come out and ask - some very pragmatic and direct, others playful and sweet... I guess they were impatient at my pace or didnt want to waste any time... | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 10/15/2009 1:27:57 AM | I would think the average women are indeed waaaay into sex, she may not be horny 24 hours a day, however at certain times, they have an insaitable sexual appetite that would probibly scare most men (if they really knew how much she thought about or wanted sex)
-Thats the reason why battery operated boyfriends are a billion dollar industry!
However women are more into finding boundries, intentions, honesty and integrity before they are ready to get naked and naughty with someone they just meet.
-obviously the o/p bringing up this topic confirms this.
Most of the time someone gives telltail signs they really have interest in the other person with subliminal signals. -eye contact and hand/arm touching is a big factor, if they can't make eye contact, act introverted or pull back to light hand/arm touches, -probibly not your cup of tea, however don't mistake shyness for lack of interest.
The signals aren't hard to pick up, its usually quite easy to tell if a gal is dyin for a kiss -or she thinks your stinkin the place up like something dead in the trash...
A warm kiss definately is worth 1000 words, however just because they are great kissers doesn't mean it's an invitation to the bedroom.
give it time, rushing will put unnecessary strain on a new relationship, possibly damaging or turning a possible relationship into a one night stand...
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