| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:22:32 PM | | Disagree with your opposite sex role model point. In your case you are providing an opposite sex role model; it's you! In my daughter's case, growing up in a 'world of women' could result in thinking men were a separate species. Her role models? Male teachers and hockey coaches. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:59:54 PM |
Disagree with your opposite sex role model point. In your case you are providing an opposite sex role model; it's you! (itsmargo)
First, I am not providing anything as I am not a parent myself. I am a parent educator and a child specialist.
Second, this stems from the idea that people, including GLBTQ people, must "be" a gender-role. It stems from the assumption that somehow, regardless of their respecting plumbing, people "have" to act accordingly to society stereotypes. In this view of the world, a gay man has to act "like a woman" - which is a myth. In reality, people aren't labels. Every single human being is different and can develop skills and attitudes that are both stereotyped as "feminine" or "masculine". These are just stereotypes, not reality.
In my daughter's case, growing up in a 'world of women' could result in thinking men were a separate species. (itsmargo)
Research on this specific area has shown that until puberty, the "role model" gender has no impact what so ever on kids. Can you be "assertive"? "Goal oriented"? "Strong willed" ? These are typical stereotypes from male role model, but it's just a myth. As a woman, you can be just as assertive, goal oriented or strong willed as any man. The question is not whether your daughter needs "a male role model" but rather whether all the role model present around her can offer her a model for all the proper skills and attitude she will need in life, regardless of whose gender has each.
As for puberty, several studies concentrated on the impact of having an all-girls or all-boys school. They found that it can introduce a certain social awkwardness when adolescents don't have the choice to be around the other gender when they start puberty. Mixed schools seem to be better in that regards. But I wouldn't expect adolescents to learn to socialize (in a sexual way) with grown up men and woman anyway, so who cares if she has
mostly one gender around her as an adult role model?
Can you name anything, skills or attitude, that a girl simply cannot get from you or someone else from your own gender? And if you believe this, how can you explain that there is no impact on children when they are raised by gay/lesbian couples - even if I can assure you that nobody is "acting like the other sex" in these relationships?
consciousSoul, though I tire of reading your lengthy posts I do appreciate your input. (singlesuperdad)
Thank you superdad! We may have disagreed on certain topic in the past, but I assure you I appreciate your feedback. As for the length of my posts, what can I say.. it's hard sometimes to explain things in detail with short posts. My hopes are that parents who wishes to take the time to read might find something useful in this, and that the others will simply ignore the posts, as I do not intend to force anybody to read me.
Your research and experience says exactly what I've been trying to say. The only thing a single parent lacks is a mate not opposite sex role models and your research shows no benifit from "role model". Thank you. (singlesuperdad)
It's the truth. A single dad has everything required to help his kids, just like a single mom, so long as he can provide his daughter/son with a model for all the important skills and attitude, including communication, empathy and care. You're welcome! | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:19:26 PM |
It's the truth. A single dad has everything required to help his kids, just like a single mom, so long as he can provide his daughter/son with a model for all the important skills and attitude, including communication, empathy and care.
This is exactlly the point I was trying to make with all these people saying that single parents kids will be losers and not have the advantages of kids with 2 parents. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:30:58 PM | You're being to sensitive. It's not about YOU. You're kids will probably turn out fine SSD, and it's not a death sentance to loserville when kids are raised in a single parent househould, that being said to assume there are no advantages to a two parent home is just silly.
Income alone is a huge factor, and a distinct advantage, so is parental time, it stands to reason two parents will have more time to spend with kids than one. Theres a value to multiple personalities in rearing children.
That doesn't mean all kids will be damaged by having a single parent households, just that the proverbial deck is stacked against you. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:42:06 PM |
That doesn't mean all kids will be damaged by having a single parent households, just that the proverbial deck is stacked against you.
Studies have shown this to be true. Fortunately, it is not a guarantee though. As more parents educate themselves on how to raise children to adulthood instead of winging it or following in the steps of their own parents, that tide may indeed turn.
I grew up in a very dsyfunctional family (alcholism) with both Mom and Dad. I have often wondered how much better off my sister and I would have been if my mother had divorced my father and gone it alone with us girls. Certainly we would have been spared years of verbal abuse by our father and having to watch our mother turn into the martyr she is today. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:58:17 PM | ...congratulations on your consciousness to it.
it can only get better from there it seem. and society teaches conditions to all single or doubled. absence of stress creating disruption is best i think we would all agree.
but having conditions one wants for their children is more or less manageable and given that more full social conditions apply.
what to leave in of your reality educations and what to leave out...that you may not be able to explain to your own satisfactions.
and a child has their own developing minds - personalities ....quite unique in its relationship to any and all relationship.
single parent families with one out of home working custodial moves children out of the domestic environment to the mercies and severities of social reality awareness ...relative to their impressionable unknowing developing persona/mind.
.......lots to consider. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:02:30 PM | | Its so they don't turn out exactly like the single parent. So they have more than one role model. That way there is more of a diversity. I'm not saying the second role model should yell and be a drug addict, I'm just saying two people make one job easier. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:13:14 AM |
single parent families with one out of home working custodial moves children out of the domestic environment to the mercies and severities of social reality awareness ...relative to their impressionable unknowing developing persona/mind.
The harsh realities of having to place your child with others for most of their day is heartwrenching. We try to make up for it by spending as much quality time with our child(ren) as possible and watching for any signs of unhappiness with the daycare (kinda sad actually) just in case our child(ren) are not being treated well. Some of us are indeed fortunate to have careers that are flexible and enable us to be with our pre-school children. I was with one, not so with the other and the difference between them is immeasurable. There is no substitute for a parent raising their child, regardless of gender. | |
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| why do most of you think kids NEED two parents?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:32:35 AM | "like what breast milk?"
Just chiming in again... but...
Fathers can provide breast milk. =)
It's possible for a male to induce lactation. And perhaps a more viable option is donor breast milk. | |
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