| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/10/2009 4:52:18 PM | OP, ALL the guys and a couple of the gals on here are right; only a short 'meet' at first. Whether coffee at Starbucks, meeting at the bookstore, or something similar. Not only the money issue, but also to see if you are even remotely attracted to the person you are meeting.
This makes sense not only for men but women also. Why be committed to spending a significant amount of time and money on someone you haven't even seen yet? No amount of time with emails, IMs, or even phone can replace the face-to-face. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/10/2009 4:56:53 PM | | Dreamcatcher...........what's with the sour attitude, whoaaaaaa, cut the guy some slack, is that your inerpretation of all men? Wow, someone must have really burned you!! | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:15:16 PM | Definitely dinner is out of the question on a first meet, usually IMO it should be over drinks or a stroll in the park to where you can converse with one another and get better acquainted.
Sounds too big for me for someone I don't even know. Maybe on a second or third date, but with a relative stranger, not a chance.
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:22:59 PM |
How many dinner date tabs for a first meet have YOU picked up?
None. I dont date cheap men with issues
Clearly SOMEONE in the equation has issues...
Ignore women such as that, OP. They do not represent *most* of the population of female daters...At least I HOPE not.
Ice Cream, a drink or yes, even Starbucks are all appropriate for a first meet and greet.
If the woman balks, then you saved yourself trouble down the line... | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:33:10 PM | "None. I dont date cheap men with issues."
My mother was widowed at 38 and had your attitude. She’s now a lonely 65 year old gold digger...... At least your honest about who you are and what you’re after! | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 12:00:18 AM |
Look everyone has a different take on this but honestly I'm tired of the whole "meet up and see" thing.
I'm not doing it anymore - I'm here for the forums and taking my chances back in the real world where I can see them and they can see me and there's NO surprises over coffee.
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:26:58 AM |
None. I dont date cheap men with issues.
hey dreamcatcher, since i'm a professional text editor with 20 years' experience, i decided to tighten your copy.
None. I dont date
no charge. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 6:27:36 AM | Never agree to buy dinner for someone you have not yet met in person. I was doing this as well when I first joined...it was terrible, sitting there all polite for hours talking to a man who was NOTHING like his profile.
I will meet the first time for a coffee, a walk in a busy park, but never for a meal. There are too many on here sporting pics from thier glory days. If the meet goes well, and we BOTH liked what we saw, a date is arranged. A few, we carried on right then and there, but we were entering that restaurant completly satisfied with one anothers physical appearance, did not feel decieved.
OP, if a woman wont meet you unless you agree to buy dinner, kick her azz to the curb. It s not fair to expect men to tolerate what women would never tolerate.
I do not consider it being cheap, to have common sense and wait til you know what you are actually getting before agreeing to shell out money. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 6:32:50 AM |
OP, if a woman wont meet you unless you agree to buy dinner, kick her azz to the curb. It s not fair to expect men to tolerate what women would never tolerate.
I concur, if you have to practically buy her attention as the only method of getting her to see you, it's not worth it. There are far more better quality women out there who aren't looking for a free meal. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 7:05:57 AM | dreamcatcher39
Good grief, now we have a 68 year old cheapskate. If you are too cheap to spring for dinner, how are you not gonna be to cheap to spring for Starbucks?
Its not fair to assume that HE should have to pay for HER food or coffee. Why should the OP or any man pay for a woman's meal or coffee at the first meet or first date for that matter. Dating is not about going out with random men with the expectation of a free meal.
OP stick to something simple for a first meet like a drink or coffee. If all goes well, then go out on a date. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 7:06:18 AM | If you want to be sure the person who shows up, is the person in the profile, ask for an up to date full body pic or two. In this day and age, every cel phone has a camera, so a current pic shouln't be a problem. As for 40 year old men only having a beer belly to offer, I don't see any full body pics from drecatcher39, which leads me to believe that you might have a lot more to offer than simply being "average"
I agree with going for a quick meet and greet, after learning the hard way as well.
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 7:40:21 AM | OP, first off you are NOT a fool, Hun....congratulations you have just finished part one of class 101 in internet dating. You are still learning. Second, I won't to apologize for the rude comments you have received from a couple of "women" on here. Types like those give the rest of the female gender a bad name. They do NOT represent me or the majority of women as made obvious by the ones who have posted to the direct opposite.
Sometimes, first meets will be great, sometimes they will suck! Both genders are guilty of misrepresenting themselves. But, like "Cowboy" and a few other's suggested....definitely keep the first meet short AND inexpensive, IMO, I think it’s totally ridiculous to expect anyone male or female to put out big bucks....just to see if there is a connection or not.
Sheesh! Me/shakes head at the rudeness some supposedly grown ass people subject the rest of the human race too!
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 7:47:59 AM | mmmm...a cup of coffee, hooks me everytime. But yeah, meeting over a cup of coffee sounds reasonable and inexpensive.
I didn't even get that from any guy I met on POF. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:02:17 AM |
didn't even get that from any guy I met on POF.
The men of pof are notoriously cheap. Just read the above posts for verification, so i dont date em girl. I Never run into this in the real world. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:08:38 AM | The men of pof are notoriously cheap. Just read the above posts for verification, so i dont date em girl. I Never run into this in the real world
What would we do without our fair share of over-generalizations?
If the girl is hell bent on having you spend your money and you have to essentially jump through hoops to try and impress her, then it's a surefire bet that she's not worth the time or effort. Especially on a first meeting where you barely know who she is.
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:12:09 AM |
I am 68 and new to online dating. The women who appeared only slightly resembled their photos in three of four first-dates. I felt like a fool and taken advantage of free food and drink for what both knew from the start would not lead to a second date. Is insisting on first-meetings at Starbucks the answer? .
You have every reason to be disappointed and used. The person lied and misrepresented themselves. To me, this isn't about a how much is spent on the face to face meeting. It's about someone being dishonest. I'm sure if the person the OP met would of been who they were on the screen, the OP wouldn't be upset.
Unfortunately, with online dating it's a 50/50 shot of who shows up. I've had my share of disappointments. Mostly it's men that lie about their height. At that point, it's a done deal. It doesn't matter how charming they are, they still lied. I'm tall for a woman, and with heels I'm over 6 ft. So if someone is coming up to my shoulder, I will ask them what happened to the rest of them or did they lose a couple of inches on the ride over and I thank them for wasting my time. Since they had no shame in lying, I have no qualms about calling them out and walking out. Take care, brush your hair and smell ya later. 
I agree with the majority that says make the first meet a brief meet. A cup of coffee or drink. This is not being cheap, this is being realistic. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:21:34 AM |
I am 68 and new to online dating. The women who appeared only slightly resembled their photos in three of four first-dates. I felt like a fool and taken advantage of free food and drink for what both knew from the start would not lead to a second date. Is insisting on first-meetings at Starbucks the answer?
OP: For a first time meeting, make it short date. No dinners, etc...........I've met some at Starbucks or a pub for a c&cktail. I never expect a dinner meet-up.
There are MANY who will post pictures that are ages old, when they were 20lbs lighter or of other people (this has never happened to me, but I hear this many times on the forums and from my friends). This speaks VOLUMES about their intellect - like you aren't going to notice the difference when you meet face-to-face.
I've said this before and I still stick to this...if I meet up with a man who has posted old pictures of himself or another person, as soon as I note the misrepresentation I will gracefully walk out and go home. | |
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| is meeting over a cup of coffee the answer?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:27:58 AM |
The men of pof are notoriously cheap. Just read the above posts for verification, so i dont date em girl. I Never run into this in the real world.
Not in my experience. I have met some real gems on here, and even after offering many times to pay for dinner, I was not 'allowed' to. POF is chalked full of excellent men to date. A first meet, is not a date. Every time I have had a first meet, that turned into a date, I was treated very well. But then, I dont date just anyone who offers me a steak.
Yes, there are some cheap men...but there are also the same amount of cheap women. Stop generalizing. You make all women look stupid. | |
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Now I understand why there are so many men on here with issues.
It took me a second to get it. Hey, it's EARLY! 
