| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:14:23 AM | shomesomethin... do you realize how inexperienced you sound? Not to mention judgemental.
How many relationships havent worked out for you that isnt based on age, if you have had any? Based on whatever, relationship sometimes dont work.
How many jobs havent worked out? How many of whatever didnt work out?
Why not pursue something that can be enlightening, a good experience and down right fun. If it feels good, then why not?
With a pessimistic attitude of "what may happen", Im surprised you even leave the house.
If you dont pursue or try, then you will never know. Id rather have a broken heart than not to have had such an experience that would put me in such a situation.
Go sit over there with those that are too afraid of what might happen to them if, if, if... you are right misery loves company, so join them. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:35:48 AM |
I am a very mature 22 year old female, who recently started chatting with a 33 year old male. Do you think this age gap is much too large?
I am interested in knowing your opinions on this subject.
Thanks :) Other than the obvious, what do you have in common with someone who's 50% older than you? | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:37:12 AM | | ^Sounds like a huge ordeal when you say it like that. Kind of like how if you're dating someone three years younger than you, when you were 6 she was half your age! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:50:13 PM | too large an age gap for what? chatting = no. dating = iffy. more than dating = gap too large. the 11 year gap between 22 to 33 is larger than the 11 years between 44 - 55 in terms of experience, understanding of life in general, etc.
good luck | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:34:26 PM | paulus837,
that was not a funny crack/joke, if that was what it was made out to be.
apparently you are lacking some maturity.
to all the others with honest and mature opinions,
thank you again. peace.  | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:26:14 PM | oh wow, in this day and age i'm surprised this topic is still being batted around.....
as long as (both!!) are legal, then what the heck does it matter? if you find some common ground, if things click.....then hell.....just be happy that you found THAT one and leave it at that....what does it matter what everyone else thinks/says? why can't you just enjoy what you've found? | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:29:39 PM | ^^ Yeah I agree with that. Life's too short to analyze everything to death. Like I said before, if it's not something that is obviously problematic (like a man deciding to try to date underage girls or something like that), and/or her (or his if the case may be) family and so on has no problems with it or anything, then IMO it's a green light all day as long as both parties are happy.
My aunt and uncle (ok granted they were married in Italy and there are certain cultural differences maybe or whatever, but...) there is a 17 or 18 yr age gap between them. When they met he was in his mid-30's and she was right about 18 I believe. The point is, still happily married today, still very much in love, and now grandparents. So...who's to say what's right and what's wrong (again, I mean within reason). | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/25/2009 1:07:28 AM | It depends on the two individuals. But for myself, I prefer and feel more comfortable with women around my age. Why? Because I enjoy talking with those who grew up with the same experiences and time frames, and how their lives were shaped.
I am talking about platform shoes, spirograph, when an album was referred as an LP, 8-track tapes, men who wore afros with the combs on the back of the head, that metal Slinky, Action Jackson toys, when parents spanked kids and people congratulated them--now you have Department of Social Services ready to take your kids away, ate Count Chocula cereal, actually watched the Brady Bunch on TV, the Jackson 5 and the Osmonds cartoons on alternate Saturday mornings, watched Muhammad Ali fights on ABC, when the Los Angeles Rams' uniforms were just Blue and White, when New Wave and Punk music entered the scene, the jammin 70's soul music (old school) , remembered when Prince was booed at a Rolling Stones concert at the Los Angeles Coliseum in 1981... you get the picture.
Personally, I would have very little in common with a 22 or 33 year old woman. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/25/2009 2:32:48 PM | That age difference is not huge and, as long as you are not a student, and as long as you understand that your guy might be past the partying/crazy enjoyment of youth of most people your age, and are happy to adapt to that, wouldn't be a problem
I'm currently seeing somebody over 20 years older than me. We are both consenting and unpressured into this. We are keeping it secret until we know whether it's going to work out for the long run or not, because people wouldn't be accepting of us just going out together, and would rip us apart if we did without having something solid. But, to be honest, I've never been so relaxed and comfortable with anybody.
Age difference doesn't mean anything, it's just a number. As long as you are both happy with each other, just enjoy it and make the most of it.
And never allow anybody to put boundaries on how you should find your happiness. Take it from somebody who married the perfect stereotype for her and had it go horribly wrong.
Take care. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:01:02 PM |
It depends on the two individuals. But for myself, I prefer and feel more comfortable with women around my age. Why? Because I enjoy talking with those who grew up with the same experiences and time frames, and how their lives were shaped.
SNIP:
Personally, I would have very little in common with a 22 or 33 year old woman.
It's great to have preferences, and I'm not picking on you kool65, you've just provided the impetus for my post.
It's often asserted that people of disparate age have little in common. Other times, people wonder what they could possibly have in common. This bothers me and it's always bothered me. What bothers me isn't the plain fact that people growing up a generation apart have experienced different things and what one knows from experience, the other only knows second-hand. It is the assumption that the differences between generations are greater than the differences within generations.
It seems to me that the differences between two people who both grew up in NYC but 30 years apart are much smaller than the differences between two people born in the same year, but one grew up in NYC while the other grew up in suburban Dallas.
I don't know that I'm right on this, I only know that the differences in the foundational assumptions between my ex-wife and me were too much for our marriage to survive and we are 1 year apart in age and grew up in the same state. However, she grew up in the suburbs, while I grew up in the country. She listened to popular music and played the violin in the orchestra. I listened to country western music and hauled hay and fixed fence.
I don't know that it means anything, but it feels good to get it off my chest.
Cheers. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/25/2009 6:31:45 PM | | I know what it feels like to be 'mature for your age'-I have always been too. However, what Landra said about an older guy preferrig a younger woman is true. A guy who seeks out a younger woman is often insecure controlling or otherwise dysfunctional in some way, thus he prefers a child to an equal match, bc he doesn't want to grow or be challenged in a relationship by a woman who knows herself and will not be assertive. Naivete works to this kind of man's advantage (or so he thinks anyways). You would actually be signing up for another woman's rejects to date someone operating like this. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:55:04 PM | My friend was recently in a similar situation, only the gap was much bigger- 15 years in fact. The guy didn't feel comfortable with the idea of dating someone much younger though. It was resolved by him dating someone else, and they've remained good friends.
I can't speak on behalf of other 20-something yr old women, but for me personally, I try to avoid huge gaps, with 5-7 years being the max. 10 would be pushing it, unless I absolutely 100% get along well with the guy, and I really REALLY like him.
I'm also very mature for my age, mentality wise and in terms of how I handle certain situations and interactions with other people. In fact several people have commented on that fact, because they're usually surprised by it.
Update: WAOFM has got it. I also find men around my age (early 20s) rather immature, although not necessarily boring. The things they seem to find rather amusing just seems childish to me so I go for older men, who are way past the prankster stage. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 10:40:26 AM | | I kind of take exception to an earlier posting about the 50 and up folks having ugly bodies that made the poster feel reviled. I'm 58 years old and have the body of an athelte. I am 160 lbs of nicely shaped muscle and meat. I get compliments from ladies yound and old all the time as well as sly little messages hinting it is OK to visit! Old is not ugly! I've seen alot of 30 year olds that are far from top shelf too so let's be real. If you have taken care of yourself physicaly,are confident in your attitude and show some real interest and intelligence,you can still be a very sexy,accomplished and attractive person/lover to anyone! When I was younger I had a few encounters with women twice my age.Who better to teach you the ropes than an experienced woman who is willing to help you explore such an amazing thing? Age can be a limiting factor for a long term commitment,but for a sharing of spontaneous,free emotion and physical pleasure,age is totally irrelevant! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 2:21:48 PM |
It's great to have preferences, and I'm not picking on you kool65, you've just provided the impetus for my post.
Don't worry about picking on me. I have been picked on a lot in my life for a multitude of reasons. You do not know the many people who got things off their chests around and at me--in posts, email, and especially in person!!
It is not about who's right and who's wrong. It is ..I was just going by my personal experiences. It is a comfortability issue with me. I do not knock those who date or mate with significant age differences. If that floats their boats, then rock on. But in my dealings with younger women (especially at my workplace), I do not feel a connection in manyof the conversations. And I used a lot of the examples in my posts in conversation. Blank looks. They can not relate. Leaves me empty. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:49:57 PM |
Old is not ugly! I've seen alot of 30 year olds that are far from top shelf too so let's be real. If you have taken care of yourself physicaly,are confident in your attitude and show some real interest and intelligence,you can still be a very sexy,accomplished and attractive person/lover to anyone!
I have to agree with this. It really is all in how you take care of yourself. There are some 21 year old women that are so dumpy I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole, and then thare are women like Tina Turner, who is pushing 70, that I'd stuff in a heartbeat.
Age provides a basic natural guideline to go by, but it doesn't really dictate definitive attraction value. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:46:28 PM | | I think it is, but it's up to you. The question is very subjective. If you like someone don't let age stand in your way. Personally, I'm 26 and I wouldn't date anyone who isn't in their twenties(nor a woman with kids). But hey, they're my preferences. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:11:23 PM | | Nathan just brought up another thing for me. I find that the older men that I meet, are more likely to have some kind of "baggage", e.g. newly divorced, have kids etc. So I guess you just gotta find out their background before you get serious, cos for me personally, I'd never consider dating someone with all that stuff behind them. I wouldn't be able to handle it. But hey, if you're willing to face up to that then good for you lol` | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:37:38 PM |
I dunno.
Why would a 33 year old man be interested in someone so much younger?
Does he have a problem with women his own age, or does he need someone college-age to feel like a stud?
I bet he has a problem with most women his age... as they are damn near all single mothers, cat ladies, or psycho ****es.... How do you like my generalizations, quite similar to yours.
I am older than 33 and i would like a 22 year old but they would have to be a little bit prettier than steph
AND that was funny... | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:39:26 AM | Age difference is a person's personal preference. It depends on the two people involved. Myself, I would not date a man 10 years older than me, but would date a man 10 years younger.
If you are asking this question, maybe you should reconsider being involved with this older man. But you both are just chatting right now - if anything you will gain a friend. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 4:19:07 AM | Yes, Halfaddict, some sad and deluded fish swim in this pond. Expect OP has the nous to weed them out, though.
luv_forums:
... the older men that I meet, are more likely to have some kind of "baggage" Expanding on that logic, in a decade, you also will have acquired baggage and should be avoided? By the time anyone's 50 or 60 - yipes - mine field - run?? I'm not putting you down, LF, just want to say that baggage is something we all collect; it's what we do with it that counts .. .. whether you cart it around and let it weigh you down, or put it away on the shelf - like a reference book - to revisit when the need arises. Just my thoughts.  | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 5:48:44 AM |
paulus837,
that was not a funny crack/joke, if that was what it was made out to be.
apparently you are lacking some maturity.
to all the others with honest and mature opinions,
thank you again. peace.
Sorry Steph just messing, ur lovely | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:54:41 AM | Just because someone is younger doesn't mean they are any less mature of a person then you... I have been told many times in my life, that I am wise beyond my years.. It was certainly a huge compliment. To me age shouldn't matter as long as the people in the relationship are happy. If your happy, you can be healthier! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:56:37 PM |
I am a very mature 22 year old female, who recently started chatting with a 33 year old male. Do you think this age gap is much too large?
I am interested in knowing your opinions on this subject.
Thanks :)
Go for it! He would be a great resource for your life and career, smarter than the guys your age. You don't have to marry him, but if you do want to marry him, he probably has a better job, house, and more money than guys your age. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:44:47 PM | | I think they say that to work out if someone is too young for you, halve the age plus seven so in his case its 23-24 so your not too young for him. Even so if you two get along and want to be together and are prepared to go forward together then its fine. If he has one plan for his future which is very different to your plans then obviously it won't work out regardless of ages. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:33:03 PM | was 37 when I met a 21 year old gal. I just wanted some campany for a moive or two and she liked me a lot. We ended up engaged and moved in together then she left. I don't think she was ready.
With the age gap I have more experience and I am a bit of a teacher with my love interests. So when I saw her making mistakes I'd try to coach her and she saw it all as critisim. SHe got very down and because she was not good with communications it all went to hell.
She's undergone a personality change, smokes and goes to bars, taken up with a FWB's. None of it good for her or her daughter. And she wants nothing to do with me now.
Mike | |
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