| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:34:22 AM | | i dont think it really matters if both are adults--i recently dated someone 14 yrs younger and it was a fabulous time--true it ended, but i wouldnt trade it for anything | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:41:52 PM | | I don't think age difference matters. To me, age is just a number. Actually, if you get on well and have stuff in common, what does it matter what age they are? As long as 2 people are both adults. Some people your own age could be less suited to you and some people older or younger might be better suited. So yeah, age difference doesn't matter. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/1/2009 1:53:02 PM | What I've discovered is that we match with 10% of any generational population. So I find I match perfectly with 22 year old women, even though I'm 58. I also get along really well with women much older than I am. And I also get along with women my own age. But at any one generational segment, be it 33, 43, 53, or 63, you will probably find the "right" person. So I'd say age doesn't matter. The fit is what matters. That said, I feel really funny when I'm walking down the street hand-in-hand with a beautiful 22 year old girl. I'm tall, slender, and handsome, so the situation explains itself, but it still looks funny. And some people really look at us angrily--as if we are doing something awfully wrong and immoral. That is the one thing you have to be careful of--what other people will think. But 22 year olds and 33 year olds don't look that different. So I wouldn't worry about it at all. I'd say go for it.
btw, my 22 year old gf is canadian as well. Must be part of the culture.
--Michael | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:12:40 PM | ..."i'm tall, slender, and handsome"...
yeah right...
you forgot the part about being a modest sort of guy...
what a catch! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:25:51 AM | Apparently, the older person needs to be able to divide their age by 2 and add 7, and get a number lower-than-or-equal-to the younger person's age for it to be 'okay.'
Thus, 33/2 +7 = 23.5
Conversely, (22-7)*2 = 30 yr old man as a maximum value
Its supposed to be a rule of thumb, so its handy, but don't let it stop you or anything.
fun fact: this means a 50 yr old man should theoretically stick to women who are 32 or older, but of course this doesn't mean he has to...
and further, 16-year-olds should avoid creepy 24-year-old men! omfg! [rant about someone I know]
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/3/2009 6:51:56 AM | When there is a large age difference both people can get a lot out of it.
The young woman gets to experience new things with the older man who hopefully has some worldly qualities and can show her good restaurants and travel.
If he is just a stick in the mud at 33 then it wouldn't make sense for a 22 year old female to be with him. But if they are both ok with it, what's the problem? | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:46:55 AM | All this math and formulas...BAH HUMBUG! How much more sterile and cold can you make such a simple thing? My god it's no wonder I see so many lost souls here with bleeding hearts!What is wrong with good old communication and taking a chance to meet someone on fair and equal ground regardless of age,size,colour,etc? I have made a nice connection with a woman almost half my age and we will be having our first face to face meeting very soon. She has already stated that age isn't a big factor and has proven that by continuing our on line relationship. I'm sure she is getting lots of offers from guys closer to her own age as well, but she is still taking the time to get to know me and meet me. I couldn't ask for more. NUT up and face the world folks! There is wonder,joy and fullfilment awaiting you. Just dive in and enjoy it! Forget the formulas and "double your dating sites". We all have the necessary tools to guide us through these things. Trust in your own strength and be fearless! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:38:48 AM | | Don't listen to these old ladies. they are telling you that there is too much of an age difference b/c they are pissed that guys typically go after younger girls. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:45:16 AM | alot of the slightly older folk here seem very reserved when it comes to age and dating. but as long as you are both adults i don't really see what such a big deal is. it's 11 years and she is 22 and he is 33 but from reading the first few replies it sounds like they think the man is some kind of monster for wanting to date a 22 year old.
the only real issue i can see is if the guy is wanting to settle down and you're not quite ready.
OP, ask this kind of question on a forum with people more your own age and you will get more encouraging answers than here.
anyways at the end of the day ultimatly it is upto you whether you think the gap is to big | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 5:25:18 PM | Most American have found that as the American woman gets older they tend to quit doing most things they used to do, yes, and sex included. Most foreign women come from cultures where they take care of their man, #1. I'm all for independence for the ladies, but, most women take it a little too far.
I've not done an official survey, but, the American woman get around 50 or 55 she is ready to get out crochet hooks, knitting needles, buy twin beds, and no more touchy-feeley like the ole days. Play cards, scrabble, make quilt. I'm 63 and still have plenty of fire in me. My 40 year old daughter told me once, don't ever bring a woman to her house that was younger than her, guess she told me, huh ? ...lol....Well, I never have and don't intend to, but, I would look for one younger than me, maybe up to 12 or 14 years younger. I know I'll get blasted for writing this, but, they have nothing else to do anyway except gossip on here, instead of really trying to find a man..............lol | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:30:54 PM | | richierich: You are 63. If you find a woman who is 12-14 years younger, that is 49-51. So if the fire goes out at 50 to 55 as you say, that gives you 6 years at most, if it's not out already. So apparently you are just as bad at math as you are at lighting fires. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:00:35 PM | kebemik, he's just an idiot. For laughs you should look at his posting history.
On topic. OP, if you want to date this man it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:45:56 PM | | It's not large enough. You're wasting your time with any man under 50. I mean, hubba hubba, and so forth. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:44:42 PM | | I just read the OPs initial post,,,,If you were in fact as mature as you stated you wouldn't have felt the need to solicit advice from strangers on a Dating site forum.... | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:45:52 PM | Its a difficult situation isnt it?Age shouldnt be a major hassle,and at my age find it weird,as im to young for ladies in their late 40s or early 50s and to old for those in their early 30s.Never being married and no kids also makes it harder to meet people and no there isnt anything wrong with me(just travelled alot when i was younger)
But i also remember being in England 15 years ago and meting a 18yo and i was 28,the age diff was a major factor,but we contacted each other 6 months ago and it doesnt seem to be the problem now.But alas we just friends. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:09:15 AM | I tend to think people becoen adults 25+ and it would be hard pressed to find someone whose this age or younger engaged in a realtionship of substance with someone else of a different age group
Over 25 and I'm surrouded by plenty of examples of long-trem commitments
~sc~ | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:12:42 AM | So much younger? Surely you are joking! Ten (or Eleven) years? Thats only alot if one is under age. It's always been the normal for the guy to be A Bit Older, in the days when he was the "provider". The younger woman seem to always take more time with things and not so set in their negative ways...
I've also seen many "cougars" after young studs, and getting them as well. Don't be worried unless you can't satisfy the man any longer... Hell yes! Get all you can regardless of age.... | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:15:43 AM | | My Ex-Girl's daughter made her move late one night and we have been together for 18 years...Couldn't be better!!! | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:42:01 AM | | no its not.but in 10 ,20 yrs. he's metabolism will slow before yours.sad but true.so to stay together you'll both have to adapt. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:39:24 AM | I have been reading alot of these forums on "age difference" dilemnas as I just got out of a 4 year relationship with a man 12 years younger than me. I think the one thing to keep in mind when reading everyone's responses is that they continually refer to the relationships in the past tense. If you are looking for the " mr right now" guy then go for it but if you are looking for the "mr right" guy,then based on my experience and 99.5% of all the forums i have read on the subject, I would pass.
Good luck | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:33:06 PM | This thing with age being a big deal is something found in America the rest of the world doesn’t seem to have a big problem with it.
It’s all about the two people and their understanding of what is going to make this kind of relationship work but that is said about all relationships.
I been in that situation and know many people that are also. Some work some don’t.
Be happy and don’t think about tomorrow too much. Just because you in a relationship with someone your own age doesn’t mean it will work, so if you both love each other and are willing to make the sacrifice to make it work go for it. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:14:25 AM | Hi, Steph.
Before I state my opinion and share my experiences, I'll mention that I haven't yet read any of the replies. So I apologize to all of you if my post is redundant at all.
Steph, I am also 22-years-old and have always considered myself to be mature for my age. When I was in elementary school, I was ready for high school. In high school, I was ready for university. In university, I was ready for professional school. Not only am I like this when it comes to academia/my (future) profession, but I've always felt comfortable in my own skin, regardless of the age of my company; I can act like a kid around little kids, act my own age (however that may be :P) around my peers, and engage in fascinating conversation with adults, male and female. My parents also raised me to be able to do not only all the gender-typical tasks (cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc.), but to be able to mow the lawn, be reasonably handy, paint, etc.
I haven't been attracted to a guy my age since I was, oh, roughly 17. Would I never give a guy my age a chance? Of course not. It's not some kind of criterion potential suitors must meet in order to have a chance with me. It's just that I have always been attracted to guys who not only have more life experience than I, but are able to sit down and have a *real* conversation. Talking about surface topics such as anything pop culture-related, or something funny that happened earlier on is great. I'm not complaining about that. I love to joke around and am more often seen laughing about something stupid than stone-faced and telling everyone to "be serious for a change!"
But in the end, my favourite conversations (and relationships on any level) have always been between me and somebody older who is well-informed (yes, I listen to both music AND 680 during my morning commute), opinionated, and not afraid to engage in a *logical* debate. My classmates are, on average, 5 years older than I. Many are engaged or already married. My coworkers are all older and married with kids. My boyfriend is 5 years older than I am. One of my favourite parts of the day is sitting down to eat dinner with my parents and talking about anything and everything, a lot of which are things that we heard on the news that day.
I've always been the long-term relationship, commitment type who looks forward to settling down and popping out a few kiddies when the time is right. I've gone on a lot of first and second dates that haven't led to anything serious, which is fine, since you can't expect to know what you want for good without having "tried" all the different types of men there are out there. But I do find that how I think, what I want, what I do, how I function...although I possess qualities that can be found in people my age or even younger, the vast majority of *me* is matched most in those a decade or more my senior.
Is this frustrating? Absolutely. I've gone on dates with men when I was 21 and they were roughly 30. I figured I'd give it a shot. What is there to lose? Well, in the end, I always broke it off. Although we may have thought the same, and we may have gotten along well, we were at different stages in our lives. I was living at home and a full-time student who wouldn't graduate until 2012. They worked 9-5. Although I had 40 hours of class a week and 2 hours of commuting a day, I had a ton of studying to do when I got home. Being with these men didn't work for me because I felt guilty for not being able to put more into the relationship. And being with me didn't work for these men, because I was unable to meet their needs. Ever heard somebody say that you're not an adult until you're living on your own, are handling your own bills, have a steady job, and are taking care of others? I have, and I must say, as ahead of my years as I feel, I do agree. These last few years have been remarkable in my own self-growth. As I've mentioned, I've always felt mature. But that hasn't stopped me from learning valuable life lessons that I doubt I would have learned at a younger age. There is nothing wrong with this. It's natural. Our minds are still maturing, you know :P
So is dating somebody quite a bit older than you wrong? I can't answer that. For me, it didn't work. Would it for you? Maybe. Has it worked for others? Arguably. I think what's most important to think about is what *kind* of relationship you'd want with this older man. Are you looking for a casual, no-strings-attached type of relationship? Because if so, I'd argue that the age difference isn't an issue. Are you looking for something you're hoping to last the rest of your life? If so, you're going to have to think long-term here. Is he looking for marriage within the next few years? If so, are you ready for that? What about kids? Also, are you prepared to deal with the fact that his body (and mind) will inevitably start to degenerate (at any rate) sooner than yours?
You have to pinpoint what you'd want from this man, and what he, being older than you, would want from you. I'd sit down and have a discussion with him about this. If he's uncomfortable with talking about what he wants and expects out of this potential relationship, then I'd end it before it begins; as any person, regardless of age, who is unwilling to talk about what s/he wants from another in a relationship isn't worth your time.
Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough. I do apologize for the long post. I have a big mouth. If you've read all of this, kudos to you! Whatever you decide, make sure you're going into it with both eyes open, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:21:10 PM | hey thomas...
you say you've been together for 18 years and it couldn't be better...
but
your profile says "divorced...looking for dating"
huh?... | |
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| AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:07:01 PM | Maybe, maybe not. Only one way to find out. The biggest regrets you have in life are the things you didn't do.
The last girl I went on a date with I figured was 24-ish. She figured the same of me. In reality I was 28. She was 19.
That got pretty awkward pretty fast when we found out. lol.
But hey, we ended up kind of developing some kind of feelings for each other regardless. But in the end she was a 19 year old girl, and I needed her to be a woman. There were just certain emotional and communication things that she just wasn't capable of.
As a wise man once told me, "you can argue facts, but you can't argue feelings." Age is just the politics of it. If you feel something you feel something.
You fall in love, you fall in love.
Have fun. | |
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