| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:02:28 PM |
By far the most "casual sex" that I've had in my life has been the sex that I've had within longer term relationships.
The most casual sex I've ever had is with myself,,,
This question just came to mind,,,
When by myself, I want to sleep afterwards,,,
With someone else, I want to eat,,,
What the he11? | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:14:31 PM |
The most casual sex I've ever had is with myself,,,
LOL Yeah, I oftentimes pick myself up in the sleeziest of places, with the worst intentions, carry on in the most ill advised of ways, and dump myself when it's over like a cheap whore. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:29:40 PM | ...Well with the way the economy is now a days and the price of batteries going up I might just have to have sex with a man.
Edit:..... I am so thankful that most fishies on this site don't read the forums. What would they think?
...maeflowers | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:08:59 PM |
But Mae......The price of men is going up as well.......thinking........can you afford them either, and if so, do you want to, when so happy with bob?.....
...You can never place a price on happiness and a good man is priceless....but you can place a price on satisfaction....about $ 4.99 for a pack of four.
...maeflowers | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:01:33 PM | Dating to me means...spending "public" time together. tonsil hockey and the more intimate aspects are not what I consider dating. Here's the truth...if you are kissing one gal/guy then heading off on another date tomorrow...I will be guessing you'd be kissing that gal/guy also.
No tonsil hockey on the first OR second date as far as my rule book goes...but each to their own. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:11:33 PM | Actually I know a number of men and women who have 'dates' where they do fun things with the other person. Or get together for dinner etc. And it used to be how one got to know someone really well over weeks and months. Would be curious to know if the man knows the woman is dating another man.
Reminds me of the movie When Harry Met Sally and the question of whether a man and woman can be just friends.
~Beth~ | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:52:12 AM |
I must be looking in the wrong places, honestly, the men I've talked with have been more obsessed with sex than the guys I remember from my 20s and 30s.
You know it surprises me as well how they are so obsessed with it.. I certainly do not remember this being the case when I was younger at all.. However take heart I think it is more on this site then you will find anywhere else.. I belong to another group of older single people that it hardly ever comes up in conversation.
Here it seems to be a driving force of many.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:54:10 AM |
In my book dating more than one person at a time is just that: DATING. And ONLY dating. Not sex. Am I so unusual in thinking there is nothing wrong with dating a couple guys at the same time, but not having sex with either of them? Meaning that there is no sex going on with me and anyone else, until the point we have the "mutually exclusive" talk. At that point I let the other guy go and just see the one guy.
This sounds normal to me, OP. It's mature and indicates sound values :-) | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:56:53 AM |
...Well with the way the economy is now a days and the price of batteries going up I might just have to have sex with a man.
Too funny... And don't get me started on the price of the rechargeable ones | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:59:24 AM |
I think that is what most men feel too...they dont want a woman who feels she gotta...they want a woman who wannas....they want someone who finds them attractive and wants to with them, not with everyone.
Here is the thing for a whole lot of us. Finding a man attractive is not enough. For most women it is more mental than physical.. In order for the mental part to become engaged that takes time.. Then beware you got a lot in storage there.. Could well be a marathon run.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:37:29 AM | Nowadays, you can save a fortune in battery costs by using rechargeable ones. If the economy is affecting your sex life, Canadian Tire has a special on that will allow you to restore it to its former glory.
Also, its a great place to meet lonely retired guys, especially if the weather is inclement..... | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:45:18 AM | I asked my daughter about this last night. I told her how it used to be
with "dating"...when you were dating someone (at least when I was
younger) you were just dating that person...it was like going steady.
Well she tells me no one goes steady anymore. Before dating...comes
"seeing" someone. When you're "seeing" someone...that usually means
you're seeing more than one person. When you start to date...you
usually date that one person but you need to have the "exclusive" talk.
After you have the exclusive talk you're apparently in a relationship.
Jaysus...I haven't made it to "seeing" yet...I'm apparently a long way
from a relationship.
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:05:22 AM | | I have a one woman mind. Just one love interest, and if that interest isn't there, neither is the desire to date her. Dating more than one woman would be pointless because if I liked one, what do I need with two? I'm not looking for two women to be with at the same time. I'd have to be going out with the one I liked best, and the other one. When I was with the other one I would rather be with the one I liked best. Liking them both the same would be possible, I suppose, but only if I met them at the same time. Otherwise I would already have liked the one I met first so I would not have kept looking. I only need one woman. To socialize as friends is another matter, so for that I can have many friends, it's just that there wouldn't be the special interest like there is with romance. Dating two people tells me neither one does it for you, and that's fine, but if I was one of those men and knew that, I'd bow out. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:55:33 AM | The most I've ever juggled is two at at a time and then only to figure out which woman was better suited to pursue something further with. And sometimes the deal maker or breaker was the sex.
BTW, Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It". treats this topic with a lot of humor and insight.
I just don't see where the time or energy comes from to date a lot of different people if you've got any kind of life going. Besides, and I'll admit it, ONE woman with a heathy appetite is about all I've ever been able to handle. And what's with this "At our age" thing??? Y'all talk like 45 is way old and ready for the rocker. At 45 my virility was in peak order and so was my wife's drive( we were the same age). These days the train has slowed a bit but the engine is still fired up; just can't make those steep hills like it used to. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:01:47 PM | Nowadays, you can save a fortune in battery costs by using rechargeable ones. If the economy is affecting your sex life, Canadian Tire has a special on that will allow you to restore it to its former glory.
...Ummm, restore "what" to it's former glory? BTW...The best place to buy cheap batteries...Ikea. They know me there.
Also, its a great place to meet lonely retired guys, especially if the weather is inclement
...I tried that, to meet someone at Canadaian Tire...came home with a whole bunch of crap I didn't need.
...maeflowers | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:40:22 AM | You know, I was talking to my best friend about this the other day... she has come up with a theory on it... some days, this woman cracks me up.
A few weeks ago, there was a thread in one of the forums on why is it that the really strong Christians (according to their profile) are the first ones to proposition you for sex or bring up the subject... and there was this one amazing answer from a regular forumite who called it the theory of "sin management."
Well, I told my friend about this thread, and she loved that term - sin management. So when I asked her about her views on dating a few people and not having sex.... she has called it "sin networking".... so then it can lead to "sin management" ... and she has now offered to teach me her methods .... she has even started calling me "grasshopper."
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:51:05 AM | I agree with you no sex until we are mutually exclusive.
I am looking for a good freind, soul mate and someone that respected me enough to be my good freind/soul mate would not be sleeping with other people.
If we are getting to know each other than that means: identifying a connection, mutual likes and values, and a understanding and appreciation for each others idosyncracies as well as commonality. What is the point of doing all this if it will not be exclusive and just a romp in the hay?
Granted the romp would be nice, but it would only serve to make me feel alienated if it did not come with sincere feelings. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:13:31 PM |
13karat wrote: A few weeks ago, there was a thread in one of the forums on why is it that the really strong Christians (according to their profile) are the first ones to proposition you for sex or bring up the subject... and there was this one amazing answer from a regular forumite who called it the theory of "sin management."
Ahh the Christian form of situational ethics. Or what some call being a cafeteria Christian where you pick and choose which 'sins' are ok. Usually the ones dealing with sex, food and being lazy. Personally I have no problem with Christians who admit to being human, as long as they don't teach or preach not doing something they themselves are doing.
~Beth~ | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:30:49 PM | Women have sex in order to get love; men make love in order to get sex.
Women always have an agenda when they have sex which is to strengthen the connection with the man, to feel loved, to feel that the sex is meaningful.
Men often romance a woman knowing full well that she expects all of that, but what he really wants is great sex.
As a woman, I used to equate sex with love when I was VERY young. Now that I'm in my 60's, I find it irrational to assume that you would be madly in love with every man you date and have the hots for.
Sexuality is as much a part of life as breathing, sleeping, eating. Major anatomical parts of our bodies are devoted to sexuality, and sex is a fantastic exercise for the body and the brain. Nothing is more wonderful than intimacy, whether sexual or not, with a person who turns you on.
I've learned that sexuality is NOT a moral question for me; it's a personal choice. When I date a man, I ALWAYS assume that he has other women in his life, even up to the point that he claims never-ending love. When you start thinking of sex as something "special" that must have exclusivity, I believe you're putting far too heavy a burden on human sexuality. It's supposed to be fun and good for you, and NOT necessarily a behavior with a constant agenda of figuring out what somebody thinks about you.
Maybe because I was a hippie, but to me, I can't think of a better way to get to know somebody than to have sex with him. It's probably the only time a man can't fake it. If he thinks less of you for having sex with him, he's doing you a favor by showing how vulgar he is and you know he has no depth and it's time to move on. Men with double standards (men prove virility by having multiple partners; women prove they are "loose") are old dinosaurs that should be put out to pasture.
Women. if you're horny, go get some. That's what men do. Take responsibility for your physical needs and stop thinking your **** is a gift that you give. How patriarchal can you get? It's yours to do with you as you please. Find pleasure and stop worrying about "relationships'. Take lovers, don't date. Enjoy yourselves, and stop having "issues."
I would love to see women become far more aggressive; they would find better lovers if they stopped waiting to be asked to dance. | |
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| Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:42:33 PM |
luckylady4unyc wrote: Sexuality is as much a part of life as breathing, sleeping, eating......I've learned that sexuality is NOT a moral question for me; it's a personal choice......I would love to see women become far more aggressive; they would find better lovers if they stopped waiting to be asked to dance.
You make some good points. And yes, I think if more women were a bit more up front about liking sex with that special man, that it would help. The only caveat I have with the sleeping and eating being a part of life, is not everyone eats out of a dumpster, or wants to sleep in a vermin infested flop house. Some people want food that is clean and tastes great and a bed with nice clean sheets.
And while most men want, need and love sex, not all men want to have sex of any kind with any and every woman who is horny. For some men a penis and a Porsche have a lot in common, and its not just any woman who gets to ride them. While some man who has a junker car he doesn't care for, may well boink any woman.
~Beth~ | |
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