| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:11:32 AM | Depends on who you ask, but in my last decade's dating experience:
(1) While courting a lady, romantic gestures that don't cost anything seldom work in your favor. The female forum posting trend seems to indicate that a lot of women believe some level of financial expedniture is required on the man's part to demonstrate his "true interest" in her, no matter HOW innovative the free idea might be. 
(2) When in a relationship, romantic gestures that don't cost anything are slightly-better received than in initial courtship, as no reasonable person expects grandiose gestures every time they meet... However things still need to be topped up with the occasional obvious expenditure to let her know "you're still invested" in the relationship...
By the time you're married, your money is hers anyway and she's going to spend it however she darn well pleases, so you no longer need to worry. 
Of course little day to day romantic gestures can still go a long way to keeping you married and sexually active. 
Please note that the previous rant does not speak for ALL women, I've met a few gems that actually seemed to be genuinely happy with the simple life... But sadly they have been few and far between in my dating scorecard...   | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:53:23 AM |
Please note that the previous rant does not speak for ALL women, I've met a few gems that actually seemed to be genuinely happy with the simple life... But sadly they have been few and far between in my dating scorecard
I can say the same thing about many men I come across. Many PEOPLE think the amount of money someone spends on you is an indication of how much they like you, whereas I think 'any azzhole can write check'. In general, our society places a great deal of importance on 'stuff'...and only a few get it-money cannot buy happiness. All the 'stuff' we accumalate means nothing when we die. The imprint we leave on peoples hearts is what counts at the end of the day. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:41:16 AM | My ideal first date would be a walk in the park or coffee somewhere to meet and start getting to know someone.
My ideal second date would be making some homemade pizza together or some microwave popcorn and hanging out on the couch watching cartoons or a comedy and laughing together.
I am a VERY simple person. I would be extremely uncomfortable having more than 5-10 bucks spent on me during a date. (and I'd honestly be most comfortable with none being spent on me)
For romance I'd appreciate some real conversation and some shared humor. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find something that seems so simple :) | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:18:35 PM | It is totally possible to be romantic without opening a wallet. If the wallet needs to be opened in order for there to be good sex, then you are with the wrong woman!
Proper romance is not about money, it is about feelings. Feelings are one thing that cannot get bought. If they can be, then they certainly are not true feelings!
I, for one, consider myself to be an equal opportunity dater. I do not expect a man to pay for everything, to do all the driving, or anything. It should be a 50-50 give and take. Equal...... | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:43:01 PM | | I have been with wealthy and guys who worked their ass off just for the roof over their head, guess which one I fell in love with? That right no the wealthy one. Money is so materialistic. And I'm sorry love and passion at least for me beats money every time. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:50:53 PM | | Why is this soooo hard for men to understand? it doesn't cost anything to compliment your woman, or to give her a back massage, turn on the stereo and slow dance with her, light candles, pour her a bubble bath, did I mention compliment her? pick a flower outside and give it to her, write her a loving note for no reason, clean the house for her, do your share of the chores without her having to ask you repeatedly, did I mention compliment her? tell her you love her, did I mention compliment her? Are you men getting the gist of this now? None of these things cost you a precious dime, just a little thoughfulness on your part, just think of her for a change instead of yourself. Do you know how many brownie points you can rack up that will get you out of the dog house when normally there would be hell to pay? lol! Trust me, this is what women want, I should know, I'm one of them. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:51:21 AM | I have to agree with the ladies on this thread, money sure isn't everything. When money is such an issue that a woman would look down on you for lack of dollars spent, it's time to check the kind of person she is. Conversely, no amount of money in the world will make me stick around with a douche.
I am not keeping track of how much money my date is spending on me, nor I on him. Do people actually do that?
For me, a home cooked meal and a night spent cuddling on the couch with a movie beats going out to a restaurant and theater every time. Being romantic should be intimate, and personal, and intimate and personal doesn't have a dollar figure attached to it.
Some of the dates that I've been on this summer cost little, if any money:
-coffee and a walk by the lake
-take my Jack Russell for a walk on some local trails
-pack a picnic lunch and some beers (like another poster suggested). By the way, this was an AMAZING DATE.
-Take a drive with no destination in mind, park somewhere dark, talk, and make out.
-Cuddle on the couch, watch movies
-Find a park bench (he let me lay down with my head on his lap, I looked up at him, he down at me, played with my hair, and we chatted for hours)
OP, when two people like each other, they just want to BE WITH each other. No matter whether they are driving around in a Porshe together, or a beat up Volkswagon.
I think you are losing sight of that.
CJ | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:02:24 AM | I agree that it's the chemistry and attitude that makes romance. With the right combination almost anything can become romantic. My most romantic moments had little to nothing to do with money.
1. Spontanious slow dancing.
2. Surprise lake side picnic.
3. Giving up an event he was looking forward to to stay with me while I was sick (without me guilting him into it).
4. Sitting on the tailgate of his truck eating ice cream cones on a hot night.
5. Talking until the wee hours over candles and a bottle of wine.
Sure a nice dinner out now and then is nice but no woman, other than a gold digger, is going to demand a steady diet of high priced dates and expensive gifts that require almost no thought or effort. If that's what any guy repeatedly experiences, I'd suggest the problem isn't women in general but his date selection criteria. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:15:31 PM | | romance has nothing to do with money...and anyone who thinks it does is missing the point. the last guy i dated won me over with sweet gestures like cuddling while watching movies holding my hand in his and putting it over his heart so i could feel it beating, kissing the back of my hand and my fingertips, kissing me on the tip of my nose when we'd say goodnight -- now that's romantic! it still makes me sad that things didn't work out with him, but he had personal things which he needed to sort through for himself first. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:22:15 PM | From a guy's POV I understand it -
I like you. I pay for the drinks. I pay for the date. I pay for the movie. We go out again and I pay some more. I tip. Now I ain't rich by a long shot, but I paid. Is it too much to ask that the woman give me some play? A french kiss? Some sex or at least some good necking or a hand job in the car.
Now I am not saying that men are entitled to sex or anything like because they paid. But if I'm shelving out all this money and ain't getting nothing in return, and I do this on several dates and not getting anything ';substantial' in return. I mean we can get the conversation, the fun, the dining and all that just well if ANYONE pays. So why I always gotta pay?
So I feel the man's pain. But if women started paying for dates - how and when?
- when she ask you out?
- on the 2nd, 4th, and every other date?
- does this interfere with men being chivalrous? | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:40:55 PM | in reply to the poster above...
i always pay my share on dates, or alternate treating...it's the way i am when i'm out with friends, a date, or a boyfriend. if you're serving yourself up as a walking ATM for every girl who wiggles her a$$ and bats her eyelashes at you, well then you're setting yourself up to be taken advantage of.
these are modern times, we're all equal, both men and women are capable of earning a paycheck and paying their own way. neither dating nor romance should be about money or obligation -- and if you see relationship dynamics in that way, then you have only yourself to blame for your disappointment. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:10:58 PM | "But if women started paying for dates - how and when?"
It's not a question of women paying for dates. It's a question of women paying for their own expenses. E.g., if the man and woman go to dinner on a first or second date, each pays for their own food.
No one is suggesting that women pay for dates in the sense that the woman should be the one paying for the entire date, e.g. the food for both the man and woman. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:18:52 PM | I think I would rather pay for entire date than go dutch. But that's because I would want a man to pay for entire date too.
Or we go dutch on the activities instead - he pays for dinner, I pay for bungie jumping - or vice versa.
Coincidently, I rather pay for almost anything else besides the food, but I don't really mind dutching on food. Just don't prefer it. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:20:38 PM | Heck no...have you ever tried filling an entire room with tea candles...you can get them at the dollar store...veeery romantic  ....or a picnic...or parking the car with a nice view and talk/cuddle/make out...go to the airport/park the car and watch the planes fly over...very cool...make a nice dinner at home with candles...honesty it's more the "effort/act" then the actual event/money spent put into trying to make your time together special that turns us into mush/putty. Although, I will admit, she may be impressed by the amount of cashola you spend on her but you're not necessarily going to get any...if she's not feeling it...no amount of money will get her in the mood..Good luck!! | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:26:26 PM | "Although, I will admit, she may be impressed by the amount of cashola you spend on her but you're not necessarily going to get any...if she's not feeling it...no amount of money will get her in the mood."
Yes! Thank you Moox for expressing what I have been thinking all along. Spending money on a woman doesn't help if she's not already digging you...it can make things better if she's already liking you, yes, but if there's nothing there to begin with, you're just throwing money away. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:07:14 PM | There are men who want PHYSICAL perfection in their mate, and there are women who want to be cherished through FINANCIAL security in their mate.
Men, who are overly concerned with women who appear to be concerned with your job status or income, stop looking for physical perfection. It's the opposite side of the same coin. | |
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| Is it possible to be romantic without opening one's wallet?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:00:20 PM | I'm still trying to figure out what romance has to do with cash.
Unless a guy can only come up with an expensive gift as a means to woo his chosen.. which I doubt.. I think guys probably have better imaginations than that... I can't correlate the 2 things. | |
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pups85
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Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 75 | |
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Me too. Reminds me of an old X-Files episode where a psycho lured/hired a hooker to come to his place. He ran her a bubble bath, too before he killed her. 
