bub84
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 51 | |
| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:10:52 AM |
There are quite a bit of truth when guys comment that they get more attention when they are with another women.
It could also be because it just seems safer. What woman will jump in the middle of an all guy circle. Unless she's... you know... one of those. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:16:44 AM | ....I've been a member here for a while but I haven't always used it. I am only here because I am trying to find someone that I share common interest with. I am not much into bars because I really don't drink so I figured this would be a good way to meet someone special. However, I get very few responses maybe an email or two a week.
I've been a member here for a while but I haven't always used it..tranlates to..I've been a member here for awhile but I have put very little effort into it.
I get very few responses maybe an email or two a week..translation..Why aren't women just flocking to talk to me?"
I am 5'6" and look like Uncle Fester and have a horrible pic of myself on here AND I date fairly regularly because I put a lot of effort into it. I have a great personality and I don't take things so personally.
But if you want to quit please by all means quit, it helps improve the male to female ratio :-) | |
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bub84
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 53 | |
| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:18:06 AM |
Your main pic is as a best man and labeled as such-some women may think, what's wrong with this guy, not good enough to be the groom
1984john:
Not good enough to be the groom? Oh yeah, I can see the convo between two engaged couples.
"Honey, I think I want my best man to be my pal nmacc."
"No, babe. I think he should be the GROOOOM!"
I saw that comment back there too and was thinking the same thing. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:39:12 AM | I think occasionally every one seeking something online feels this way. Usually when it occurs I feel it's because your reality has clashed head on with your expectations.
When that occurs a good idea is to regroup.
Consider what it is you really dream and fantasize about having
Make a list of the qualities and characteristics of the woman you imagine
Let that list sit for a day even two or three days
Then return to it and really examine what you NEED in a companion long term.
Not the superficial things but the real tangible qualities you seek in someone you want to spend the last half of your life with.
Find someone you know will hold your hand and look into your eyes when you take your last breath.
Think of the aspects of that unknown person you want to share in the days and nights between now and then.
Realign your dreams, desires, and aspirations with reality and then? Approach dating again. Don't waste your time with communications or relationships that don't have the package of key essentials you desire.
Don't occupy and clutter your mind with unrealistic dreams or desires and overlook the woman beside you who might fill your life with happiness and memories.
Many men seek the "igniting spark" of something special. Some women do also.
Looking is ok.
But finding?
Is way better.
If you're dissatisfied with your results?
Recheck your role in making the decisions that brought you to this place. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:43:29 AM |
This was a mistake posting this thread. I really didn't mean it to come across this way.
 Welcome to the Viper pit. Try not to take the half-assed opinions of strangers personally. You will get some real answers but the wise and helpful ones will be few and far between as are the wise and helpful strangers here.
I live in a very small community of 2,600 people and I can empathize with your plight. Just gotta keep sending out those emails and not get discouraged. If there are clubs etc. you can join then that's a good plan. Also as someone else said, drink orange juice in the bars and try to meet women there. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:16:24 AM | | I haven't read all the posts, but I'd say it's usually because people are far more picky online than they are in person. It's difficult to sell yourself as opposed to in person where you can interact right there and then, and the person can gauge how you are, your personality,etc. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:26:45 PM | I am 5'6" and look like Uncle Fester and have a horrible pic of myself on here AND I date fairly regularly because I put a lot of effort into it. I have a great personality and I don't take things so personally. soxfan64, I wanted to email you to say that I LOVED this line, but I'm too old. Oh well ... anyway, it's hysterical! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 7:49:11 PM |
Most of us who have been successful didn't EXPECT to find the love of our lives on here. If we did, we were open to the idea, but it wasn't EXPECTED.
I think honestly its better to stop looking as they say. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:02:23 PM | | this is one of the reasons why I temporally stopped online dating cuz I was getting weary of it and just start taking dating offline and in person and putting myself out there. Got 2 offline dates for next week not bad :-) | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:07:09 PM | Holy crap!
Please ignore 95% of the people who responded to your question (the very negative ones). They obviously just love this site and you may have offended them and their potentially favourite past time!
I agree most of the profiles are quite shallow. People make themselves out to be perfect with the perfect job and attitude. I say baloney! Everyone has their issues and nobody is perfect. And the bitter ones, don't even get me started I think they are most of the people who responded to your thread!
I think joining a club and getting out and doing activities that you enjoy is the best idea. that's my plan! I just moved to Vancouver so I thought this would be a good way to meet people but its either a. really creepy men way too old for me or b. 3 or 4 emails back and forth and nothing comes of it so in other words a huge waste of time! As someone else mentioned, theres nothing wrong with logging on here and there and possibly sending a couple emails out but I wouldn't rely on it to meet anyone quality!
This is what I'm finding anyways but good luck to you and ignore all the bitterness out there! They are the kind of people you do not want in your life, wasting your time! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:44:43 AM | Ah yes... another nice guy that I can seduce to the dark side of the Force!
Join me, my friend... being nice is no good! You know it and everyone else does!
It is your destiny... don't delete your account. Well, do so, but not after going through and ranting all you want! Spread the word!
No more nice guys! EVER! We don't want to hear the whining and complaining!
Be a **stard of the highest order first! Nuke the site from orbit before leaving!
Don't be a martyr anymore! Nuke the site before you leave!
I need soldiers for my war against "good guys". Cast off that burden and follow me! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 3:55:26 AM | | I think your looking at this in a negative aspect, all good things come to those who wait, heck I havent gotten one email yet!! Honestly when you meet someone, even in the real world and not online, you are still meeting there representative and not them!!! With time comes experience my freind! and you start getting good at noticing the bullshit from the goodshit if you know what i mean! good luck! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:18:31 AM | | I completely agree with you OP, but I am kinda hooked on the forums, and as for the dating sites you pay for, you would be better off just going to social events or mixers in your area, I am a true believer in love, and I know its going to happen someday, just have patience. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:00:17 AM | | OP have you tried the sites that cost money? There might be someone more to your liking on a site that one has to pay to be on. Usually if we pay for it we value it more. Serious people may be there instead of here. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:09:26 PM | | You gotta have thick skin for these forums. Online dating sites are humbling. No other way around it. I get quite a few emails and responses to my own, but all it takes is a few no replies before you begin questioning yourself. Different strokes for different folks is what i have concluded. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:12:33 PM | I find I get very few replies but thats not surprising as i live in a remotely populated areas despite being in a city.
Its a good 55 miles to Newcastle and 100 miles to Manchester, Liverpool and Glasgow. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:48:49 PM | I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 3:03:09 PM
LMAO....there are some bitter ass people on this site.
This crap is funny.
(L)......Waves to NCGent......... | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:56:15 PM | | OP : Go to the slots !! Just not on Mondays...you'll lose your shirt. There's tons of ladies at the slots, some are there looking...just like you. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:56:34 PM | Geez people! Relax a lil! Yes, it is disheartening at times. Mainly because I think this forum in general can attract liars, by virtue of the fact that it is so easy to lie here. Remember back in the day when online dating was notorious for attracting the predatory types? I stayed away from the net, because I was repeatedly warned about it. Now that online dating has become more mainstream, it does seem to attract more "normal" types. However due to the virtually guaranteed anonymity it seems to be a place where there is an inordinate amount of liars. But the way to deal with liars, is to always always ALWAYS trust your gut. Even and ESPECIALLY when you want so bad for it (your gut reactions) to not be true. In my experience I have never been lead wrong by my intuitions with regards to people.
For those of you who are exceptionally anal-retentive, these observations are based on my own personal experience, and gut reactions (which has served to save my ass many times, therefore I trust it) I do not have nor need a statistical analysis, or research to prove that my observations or experience are perceptually correct. I do not wait for someone else to tell me that it is "ok" to have an opinion in order for me to have it.("Is reality real?" I ask, and you say "well, Idk, ask the scientist") And I find such...idk.....shriveled up sort of rigid demanding of "proof" to confirm our observations and opinions (which, last I checked we are allowed to have) ridiculous, obnoxious, and attention seeking.
Also, this discouragement is normal, human, and the man was just looking for some understanding, which is also normal and human as well (last time I checked, I am still waiting for final confirmation of statistical research to prove this however). So, maybe consider holding the stones and showing him some compassion. Its apparent that his vent was simply his effort to avoid turning into the fuming trolls that some of you have.
*breath in and let it all out, expression is good lmao!
Charity | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 3:59:15 PM |
I am 5'6" and look like Uncle Fester and have a horrible pic of myself on here AND I date fairly regularly because I put a lot of effort into it. I have a great personality and I don't take things so personally. Love an honest, frank, and funny guy. I can see why you go on a lot of dates. This is a refreshing line because it sure as hell beat all the mean, angry, and bitter dudes saying 'I'm great. I got all the shi*t that anyone woman wants. Ofcourse nobody is perfect, but I'm still great. So why aren't these b*tches dating me? They must have something wrong with them!']
If any guy wants to see why women go out with guys that aren't that attractive - here's a lesson right there. Yes, we love attractive guys too! But the turn-off is when you act like you are god's gift to women and they should be falling at your feet for you and all your flaws and bullsh)t and when they don't you get mad, bitter, angry, and start calling women names and how those 'b*itches' got problems because they aren't dating you.
And then there are the bitter not-so-attractive guys saying basically the same thing 'I'm know I'm not that cute but I'm a 'nice guy' so why aren't these hot b*tches dating me instead of the bad-boy who uses and abuses them? I'm a nice guy who got it going on and I'm entitled to some hot chicks and p*ssy!'
It's easier for me to meet guys in real life - but harder to meet the type of guy or 'friend' that I'm looking for. Just like the inarticulate idiot guys on here, there is real communication problem with guys - more so with them than with women. They talk crazy or about of line, can't express their feelings, are too angry and bitter, have some emotional issues and baggage with past relationships and women, tends towards the verbally aggressive or the on the opposite extreme of being too passive. So I came here because I thought I could be more specific and weed out the type of guys I'm meeting in real life. Not having much luck so yeah, it is a bit disheartening. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:23:23 PM | | As a fellow Delaware native, I really think you need to move to a different state to find somebody. Aside from out of state UD students, attractive women in Delaware are few and far between | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:26:49 PM | I've come to notice that Plenty of Fish is really just plenty of baggage. Like seriously, it's nuts the amount of insanity you come across on here.
Women that haven't gotten over their Ex's... women with ex's that haven't gotten over them ... women with extreme mental issues.
I love how when I first read about/heard about this site they said they delete people unfit to date.
Wow. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:48:21 PM | talk to woman lol the problem is woman don't want to talk to men. Woman say just come and say hi, I think woman should dress up like a man and see the reaction they get ( the I'm to good for u look say it all) I may not be the most hansom man around dress nice and treat woman with respect, I think woman should try this , stand in a corner at a bar ,night club and look around and really look and listen and u might understand where men are, times have changed and i think it is time not all, but some started to show men respect.
I am not upset or pissed off just saying it how i see it. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:04:09 PM | OK Nappykat Now I have a problem!
If any guy wants to see why women go out with guys that aren't that attractive - here's a lesson right there.
Are YOU trying to say I am not attractive! When I said I look like uncle fester I thought it was a good thing dammit. I know I am hot because my mommy told me I am!
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