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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:05:21 PM | | I find it full of scary dodgy characters and mentally demented people. So disheartening is an under-statement. I also found few good friends on here, but that is like 2 friends out of 2 years being on this site. I didn't join it to make friends though, so that was the topping on the cake, alas no cake lol | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:33:06 PM |
OK Nappykat Now I have a problem!
If any guy wants to see why women go out with guys that aren't that attractive - here's a lesson right there.
Are YOU trying to say I am not attractive! When I said I look like uncle fester I thought it was a good thing dammit. I know I am hot because my mommy told me I am!
And your mother was right. You have more going on than a lotta men on this site, Cinderfella.
You evil bitter stepbrothers are jealous of you. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:47:23 PM | I've been on this site for.. Ever.
This is my third profile - with some breaks in-between.
And I'm here for the forums.
And I've met men to date in person or through friends. Heck. Even through some random thing on facebook.
From here?
I have fantastic friend or two, both of whom live the heck away, and that is it.
So. Keep your prof if you enjoy forums, go out and date living, breathing peeps.
Best of luck!
:-) | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:37:04 PM | See this is what I find odd. You create a profile, you find something for like a day/week/minute, delete profile, then recreate expecting new results. You can't reinvent yourself, ladies.
If you're having a problem finding someone reexamine who you're 'chasing'.
One major thing I've noticed on here, there's a lot of women looking for a free ride via 5-7 days of dates. Like seriously, if you're doing that, of course you're not ever going to be happy. It's like lying to yourself trying to live out some screwed up fantasy.
I say that because I've run into quite a few girls on here doing that, and it makes me feel dirty even talking to them.
I'm not going to go out of MY way to try to look like a great guy to you. You can try to figure out that while I'm just being myself.
And I HIGHLY DOUBT most of the women on here actually have a degree as they "advertise" on their profiles.
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:18:45 PM | | LOL Whats disheartening is seeing the whining crybabys b*tch and rant about bitter people on here. I mean who gives a shit...get over it. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:40:29 PM | I read a few of the replies... Not that many BTW...
You are exactly right with the first post.
Take it in stride that this site does not have much in reality. I am here for the forums now because they are a hoot!
Don't "FEEL" you should explain yourself to these people. You posted, they responded, nuff said! Everything in life is an experience. Including this website. Good or bad? Depends on what you might find. So far I've seen more guys with a thumbs down here.
Good luck in the future! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/22/2009 12:01:34 AM | Dam Sumo Wrestler, you look like you might have a hot body but your attitude is f*cked up!!
An no, ain't nobody name Sumo Wrestler on here but he know who I'm talking about. Or he'll figure it out... maybe.
If not, whoda feck cares. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/22/2009 1:28:07 AM | | Having grown up in the internet generation, I have been on various networking sites since the whole thing blew up approximately 10 years ago. I remember the ICQ days, lol. Speaking from a male perspective here, let me reveal to everyone the most obvious, but harshest dose of reality. Relatively speaking, as a man trying to date in the online dating world, your gender alone puts you at somewhat of a disadvantage by sheer numbers alone. Men are just the more prominent sex online, that's just the way it has always been. Further exacerbate this fact with the reality that any relatively attractive woman with a half decent picture will receive 30-40 new contact messages from interested suitors daily. Not only are they overwhelmed - she simply does not have the time to read through it all. This is where it gets difficult in terms of 21st century dating online. Given the advantageous position that women merit by gender alone, coupled further with the opportunity to explore so many options, the woman is typically literally spoilt for choice. Can't blame the woman either, she wants the best individual man she can hope to attract. Usually this means she has to unfortunately choose those she wishes to continue correspondence very early on - usually by virtue of some vehemently shallow screening criteria, which may or may not include height, race, attraction and physical attributes alone. How do I know this? Ok I will admit this much. I did a little social experiment by making a profile here with some photos of an attractive female whom I know just to survey the pool from a different perspective. Quite literally, if I had to make a bold statement that will no doubt stir a hornet's nest of chaos, I believe that generally speaking women will far outdo the men here in terms of how attractive a partner they can get. Men will just have to lower their standards (seriously), period, if your anything below an 8. For example, if you are an 8 and you seek out a female who is an 8, you could try getting with her but she will have multiple suitors (including other 9s and 10s pursuing her as well). This is just not good math given that probabilistic notion. All well and good if your a male, and a 9 or above - you could do very well attracting someone you would want here. She may not necessarily be a 9 herself but just below. Call me crazy and whatnot but its true. Given the vast options women can remain as choosy as they want to, and the attractive ones will continue to bombarded with so many messages she will not be able to make a thoroughly informed decision so she likely passes up some real good catches. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:07:44 PM | i'm back again....but, honestly for the forums...i have met some really great people although i think it's more "me" to be quite frank.....too used to being single i guess..
and btw miketheawesome are you really a jedi? hmm | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 86 | |
| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:56:25 PM | I know I will never meet anyone from on line. I know too many people from on line that have been lied to so badly. Today I got a letter from a POF friend. She was to meet this "great guy" she met while posting. For a year they have chatted, written and so on. She Canadian him American.
So long and sort, he was such a liar. Nothing he had ever told her was true. From his job, or joblessness, to being married with a little child. Living at his mothers place because he couldn't cover the rent. Holy crap. He was singing to her over the phone at night. Telling her they were going to get married ... and bla bla bla bla bla ...
His mother who he lives with spilled the beans to the POFer.
Just lies and more lies.
I don't take anything I read in the forums to heart, even if I get pizzed and stomp off like a little baby. I honestly could care less.
Some of the best posters are gone, and a few rule the forums.
To sum it up, for me personally, I am fully disheartened with dating from on line, and so do not. I only date from real life which is such a breath of fresh air !!! and now the forums, well I am getting disheartened with them too.
Soon my profile will just go poof. Very soon. 
Savona | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:44:06 AM | well I have actually been on dates with a few from this site, and they're not all they cracked up 2 be. most women on dating sites generally like soiled diapers, full of shit  don't forget that there's a hand full of them just looking for a free ride, and expect you to go deep into your pockets | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:35:32 AM | Its an internet website, in real life you have a better chance to charm a woman. On the internet she see's a profile and/or picture and decides whether or not you are worth responding too. Its just a fact of life that every woman who responds will not be interested in responding to you.
Not to sound like a prick... get over it! Keep trying in real life and on this site, try a pay site, just don't sob over your results. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:52:42 AM | hahaha, you see alot of whining on these sites, and like thats going to get you a date.lmao!!!Aloha
LOL Whats disheartening is seeing the whining crybabys b*tch and rant about bitter people on here. I mean who gives a shit...get over it. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:10:55 AM | The fact that POF is free to join has it's advantages and disadvantages.
Of course, the downside is that literally anyone with access to a computer and a passing knowledge of how to work a mouse and keyboard can create a profile and become part of the dating community. They can be serial killers, mentally unstable, sexual predators or career criminals - it doesn't matter because they're still allowed in.
Being able to recognize them eventually becomes a talent you hone and refine. OP, if you're doing better meeting quality people in real life, why would you even have a profile on POF anyway?
Must be for the entertainment value.  | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:31:05 PM | | I haven't met much of anyone here on this site probably because I haven't sent a lot of emails to people. My photos on here where deleted today and they the followed the guidelines because they showed my head and face. My profile has been on here for at least a year. I will probably have to upload another photo. Anyway you probably should try one of those pay dating websites if your not satisfied with POF, sometimes you might find a better response from one of those sites. POF is a free dating website and you might try other options besides online dating. Go to a singles group or a singles event to where people get together in person. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:13:06 PM | Posted: 9/24/2009 2 42 PM
hahaha, you see alot of whining on these sites, and like thats going to get you a date.lmao!!!Aloha
^^^Umm what makes you think Im here looking for a date?.
Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe some people are here just for the forums?
Nice try though single daddy..lol | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:05:22 PM | My participation on this site has been sporadic over a two year period. Specifically; when I've been ready willing and able to date and look for something long term, I unhid my profile. With the exception of 3 men who are still friends of mine after our initially meeting for romantic purposes, I have to say that my results were underwhelming.
Aside from two coffee meetings where the guys "just weren't that into me", and had the (sort of) decency to tell me so, my less than happy experiences have been mirrored here in postings by both men and women. (One immediately told me in a condescending tone that I misspelled a word in my profile. Yah, I can take a hint :) )
As a mea culpa: I'm sane, reasonably fit, have no mental health issues, am healthy, professional, employed, financially solvent, happy, career oriented with a nice life style balance of interests like hiking, reading, and social activities with friends. I've never stalked anyone, borrowed money from a date, have paid my share on dates or at least reciprocated in kind with paying for alternate dates, and I feel that I'm reasonably attractive.
The profiles posted here by men "looking" and even a few phone conversations and email exchanges, gave no indication of the realities of their situations, and I consider myself a reasonably intelligent woman with pretty good intuition. Unfortunately, intuition or reality doesn't always kick in from a profile or first phone conversation.
There are no options in creating profiles here for issues like alcoholism, anger issues, drug addiction, homelessness, financial insolvency, personal bankruptcy, crazy exes that haven't been put into the past, mental health issues like active yet medicated bi polar, erectile dysfunction, long term and crhonic health issues requiring treatments such as dialysis, and the mentally unstable. I have none of these issues, or anything remotely related.
There are life issues and challenges that can reasonably be expected to not impede your abilities to be a partner to someone else. What's been offered, at least to me, have been unreasonable challenges to the development of a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.
The men who meet in hopes of getting laid need to place their profiles in the correct category: Intimate Encounters. For some reason though, they don't.
The 3 men who are friends of mine who I met on this site, have issues that prevent them having a long term, intimate relationship. That's why they are friends only, and always will be.
The limitations of dating sites like this, cannot accommodate people's reality, or convey that reality to people looking through the profiles. Neither can phone calls or email exchanges, IMHO.
I'm not surprised you're disheartened, OP. You have good reason to be.
I've also decided to not stay to participate in forums. I find them disheartening as well. Warnings about certain men or women participating here, bad date stories, bad relationships, I have to say "no thanks". I don't find that interesting reading or topics I'd like to delve into.
If I'm coming across as a "downer", I apologize. But I'm leaving online dating, and I wanted to share the reasons why. I'm going to put myself out there in real life only. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:18:09 PM | "Amazing. I can't believe how harsh these forums can be. "
OP. One thing you won't find is much sympathy on these boards. IF you feel that way, be prepared to defend your position!
Alot of people will critize you for wasting their time with a message that looks like it took a half hour to write. These boards have always been about opinions, not always about rationality. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:08:32 PM | It's not this site, it's meeting more folks then a person normally would on everyday life, outside of the internet.
Which means, there are all kinds, the good and the not so good, in more abundance.
Problem is, it's weeding out the not so good intentioned folks, while figuring out who the good is. That is not easy. One has to thicken their skin to deal with the BS of doing this sort of meet and greet thing, otherwise, one gets to the point of not wanting to do it anymore. LOL, cause there is a lot of BS to weed through in this sort of thing, no doubt about it.
Good Luck and keep looking outside of the computer screen. In other words, don't let it be the only open door in finding ones own desires. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:38:39 PM | I saw this in a post.
Be a man; stop whining.
How come women never hear things such as:
Be a woman; f^ck me and feed me! 
Yeah, this site can suck a$$, especially if you're not even getting a date from it. I'd say we men are easier to please, but we have preferences and requirements too. I had a paid membership with adult-friend-finder four years ago. Talked to a lot of flaky women on there too. Even had a girl try to get me on her pay camgirl site. The closest I came to actually have anything come of it was talking to this woman. We had a lot of similar interests and kinks, but she was about 5'2" and 300 lbs. Also, she had some male friends with benefits. She said she was looking for a relationship, but I don't want one with a woman who's got f^ck buddies on the side. Then again, I was on adult-friend-finder, so go figure.
Before my disability, I was making decent money and travelled to Central and South America (Brazil) and met girls I was writing to. The Brazilian girl didn't want to leave her country; the other Latin American girls just wanted a green card and didn't know how to cook. I got a transplant earlier this year and when I get back on my financial feet, I may have to go on one of those single gentlemen's romance tours in another country and meet a greater of women that way. I seem to have much better luck with foreign women (even the ones I met in college and big cities) than with American women.
nomarriage[dot]com - Check it out, guys! | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:45:28 PM | op
they really should provide forum education classes and a shield of armor for all who enter. these people don't play and when they do they play rough!
try meetup.com
good groups all across the country
stay on here, check out the forums, it is entertaining
stay in real life too, otherwise you will go crazy
kaylee | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:42:53 PM | | Now Meetup[dot]com is a good site if you live in or near a big city. As far as where I live, I don't think there's even 12 Meetup groups within a 50-mile radius. The only ones in my area I'm really interested in are a Pagan get-together one and a drum jam meetup. I think there's a Ron Paul 2008 meetup still listed on my local Meetup list. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:17:31 AM | This site can be very disheartening at times. I stopped putting my faith in it a long time ago because I realized the chances of meeting somebody special were really few and far between. I still have a little bit of optimisn left though.
In my experiences the majority of women on this site can fall into two categories;
1) Bitter and angry at the world. You see that very much on these forums.
2) Those who have such high expectations that they will likely never find that special person that they are looking for. I wouldn't even describe it as picky as much as I would as narrow minded. I've seen profiles where ladies even put what kind of hairstyle they want their guy to have and they refuse to "settle". Looking at ther laundry-lists of specific things some women want just make me laugh. I even saw one profile where the gal had such a detailed description of what she wants, pretty much down to her ideal man's shoe size. Then she described how she didn't want to get hurt again because she has had such a bad history with men. My first thought was, "you just described in vivid detail the kind of guy who would probably cheat on you". Of course these laundry lists go right out the window if a guy is good looking or has money.
A few friends of mine have moved away from this site to others like eharmony and have had luck there. Personally I consider all the online stuff to be the same. Same games, only on others you have to pay. Stick with things here for a while. There are some pretty good people on this site and hopefully you'll run across them. I still think (could be naive) that I may still meet the one good person who makes the bad ones worth it. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:35:35 AM | You people sicken me. The OP was simply posting a thread unto how he dislikes some aspects of this site, and you all FLAME THE LIVING SHIT out of him because you just have the ability to let everyone and their brother know what is stuck up your asses because of this being a public forum and not a simple person-to-person message. What are you people all about? Do you just come home from a long and exhausting day at work just to sit your ass in a seat on your Mac and sign on here to get off to bashing other members' posts?? IT'S A FORUM. MEANING, (for those who lack the common sense to understand the purpose of it), TO POST A THREAD FOR ALL TO SEE AND REPLY ON. Not to just have a dictated subject pool to choose from and use. This isn't a ****ing smack-talk fest. It's a guy who has issues finding a women and is turning to a dating site but getting no luck because people like you all just have the nerve to be rude and inconsiderate.
Honestly, I agree with the OP. This site is really harsh. women have ultimate rule here in the long run, and it's the men fighting for who has the bigger****and the better qualities to offer. I message people in my area, which might I add is a FRACTION of what this guy gets in a search, and they either reply with a smart ass answer, (with any reply still being RARE), or leave the message to be Read and Deleted. Some even look at your profile, but throw the interest away like a crumbled paper ball. People are cruel here, but there are the few who are worth it.
However, this doesn't mean I don't see both sides. Most people who are ABLE to be contacted, this guy having a good 419. What makes you think that the 419 won't cut the amount to, sayyy, 7 because of uncommon interests or something similar that will ruin the compatibility??
My city is the same way; a decent amount able to be contacted, but what makes that amount so interesting if they all have NOTHING for me to be interested IN?? Given also, despite the town being a fair size, people still have that sense of living in a small VILLAGE, where everyone knows you, as well as the girls worth the effort are all taken by ass holes who don't deserve them. The rest are not what you may be looking for or total whores who will go out of THEIR WAY to cheat on you.
It all depends on a GREAT DEAL of factors, some varying upon where you live, and how the community is.
I am only throwing this on here due to people just annoying me with their BS posts about how this guy is annoying you by simply posting THE TRUTH.
Here's a suggestion; if you all have nothing better to do than find some poor soul on here who doesn't have the best luck in this department and just take a big smoldering dump on his parade, than I believe you will have JUST AS MUCH amusement wasting your lives by doing something just as efficient as eating a brick. Next time you have the undying urge to ruin someone's night by posting your drama, have consideration for who your dragging down. For all you know, your posts might have been read by this guy, and he might have been really unstable from a recent event in his personal life, leading ultimately to his own demise through suicide because of manic depression or something just as ridiculously horrible. DRILL THAT IN YOUR MINDS NEXT TIME.
You all annoy me like persistent mosquitoes. Go devour some pesticide and leave give this guy some mercy. | |
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