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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:25:00 PM | Rejection
Not afraid of rape. it could happen, yes, but I know how to handle myself, I never put myself in a situation where it's likely, and my instincts are excellent. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:02:57 PM | To be honest...
my biggest fear is sleeping with someone who looks 10X better than you with her clothes off. I felt like I had to wax my winter coat of fur, run on the treadmill and mostly use mind control. It could have been a very short night!
and I just posted that in the wrong thread. Hmmmm! | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:03:11 PM | Write Time wrote...
"* I want to keep my kids completely insulated from my social life until such time as I meet someone whom I think is good for them and will be around for a while. I do not introduce someone to my kids casually."
Exactly!!!! I do not introduce men to my sons. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:48:38 PM | I don't know that I FEAR things so much, as I'm pretty selective of who I would even go out with these days to begin with......
I think the thing mostly would be hearing the words "you're a really great guy......." after investing a lot of time thinking we were on the same track...... | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:16:16 PM | That I will meet the one meant for me and then I will give up being on any dating sites
and stop talking new people. My life will turn to him and my life making it more ??? Everyone I have met to that point I would hope we could remain friends | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:31:42 PM | | Fear that she is a KGB spy and is only seducing me to steal State secrets. Then secretly has my baby and turns him into an All Quida terrorist and sends him to kill his own daddy. Only to have, when he is about to push the trigger say "Dad, is that you. I've been looking for you all these years." | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:50:56 PM | Or finding out it is a pistol in his pocket.
Psychos / stalkers, overly dependant or abusive ones are the ones that I have tried to weed out. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:55:33 PM | To those lovely ladies who fear having to let go of the POF security blanket when you do meet the right guy??? Guess what! You don't have to  I met my fishie Dec 2007 right here and am now a bona fide forum lurker/junkie... having my cake and eating it too??? 
On topic- Fear of rejection after 10 years of single parenthood was my greatest worry, but it turned out to be all in my head anyway. I had meets with 4 fab guys from here, who were good men and made me feel very appreciated. | |
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PeatL
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Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 37 | |
| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:09:06 PM | Girl I met the other day joked that she was just luring me here so her gang of eastern european criminals could organ harvest me.
I'll admit that might have been a of a bind if she's been serious. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:59:50 PM | Great point Jojoaus,
yes I am enjoy the forums as well.
I would have to admit that I feared rejection as well. I think that is one that gets many of us. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 5:03:15 PM | One that I can add to all of the others that put me in physical danger is him having a bunch of other guys waiting for me.
Of the ones that were mentioned but not particularly dangerous, rejection and being laughed at rank high.
Another one is if I'm quick to go for a first meet and we get talking (both of us) about a little of our past histories, then being sarcastically asked if I knew my husband (or whomever) more than a few days when I married him -- or similar.
Kind of a slap in the face and I warning to prolong the next meet with someone till a leap year. LOL | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:16:18 PM | This is refreshing. OK, I'll bite.
*Romance and commitment itself.
Not a fear. I often see it assumed to be a fear. I notice that many who do so really want to be committed to but not commit themselves.
* Men/women fear of stalkers or the mentally unstable.
That used to be a huge problem for me, but I've developed a pretty good Borderline Personality Disorder detector over the years. No more women cutting parts of their body because I complimented them, or eating rat poison at me from five hours away. Yay!
*The Gal that might very well be a guy ( trans-testicals).
No, not much. As Judy Tenuta said, if your girlfriend has an Adam's apple, hands the size of hams, and she has a penis, she might be a man.
*As a man, I'm afraid of very Little.
Tends to be something that women believe. Men don't talk about their fears to women, because women tend to go ballistic about it.
*Getting trapped into marriage.
Do people get trapped into marriage any more? Seems to me like it's pretty disposable these days. See "commitment."
*Merely approching a woman for fear of rejection.
Used to be a big one for me. Now it doesn't bother me. I learned to enjoy rejection. It saves me time and effort.
* Being falsy accused of rape or beating a woman.
The 1980s are over, and I think today people actually believe that false accusations exist, which makes it better. Funny thing about this, though basic psychology. People who make false accusations do it against those against whom it is safe to do so, that is, the very, very timid. People who are more difficult to hurt aren't as attractive as targets.
So it's probably more of an issue for men of college age, who are more vulnerable. As they get older, they tend either to acquire more sexual power, or they become embittered. One would think that embittered men might be a problem that heterosexual women would want to solve, but it seems that a lot of them are just happy ranting about men.
*Fear of being attacked, raped or murdered. ( yes this can happen to men too).
I was sexually assaulted once (Florida law doesn't use the word "rape" to avoid common-law assumptions), and I've been hit a few times. The thing that really bothered me was that everyone I talked to about it denied that it was possible. I know you admit that it's possible, and I've even heard women on NPR point out that it's a problem, but in the 1980s, people risked violence for saying it. This actually happened to Suzanne Steinmetz, who was one of the three authors of the best study on domestic violence still to date. It showed that there was substantial abuse of husbands by wives. She went on to talk about this, and got a bomb threat for doing so. Her two male co-authors knew that they couldn't get away with a mere threat, so they've clammed up.
*Being manipulated, controlled, loss of identity.
No, not really.
*He/she will laugh at me.
No, not really.
STDs: not a big worry. It's fairly easy to reduce the risk of getting one to far less than the risk of being creamed on the road while driving to a tryst. Of course, people do not assess risk rationally, and they think they are moral for not thinking.
Unplanned pregnancy is similar.
I do have some concern that I'll run into enough female flakes and idiots on mainstream dating sites that I'll get jaded. I'm addressing that by backing way off on making initial contact here. There's some risk of getting that way just by reading the fora, but I've found that the rare display of sanity more than makes up for the majority. After all, there is just no way that I could date the majority of women, so to some extent what the majority thinks doesn't matter. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:54:14 PM | OP: Can't say I have any fears per se. I try to go into things with a positive 'tude, and use common sense/take precautions in areas that are warranted.
I just have fun with it and let things play out accordingly. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:10:40 PM | Message 30 - I'm sorry but I thought all males wanted to meet a woman that looked better than them!!!
Back on topic - This might sound weird but my biggest fear re dating is that I'll meet a really terrific guy and then after a while find out that he's a CROSSDRESSER. There I said it and no I'm not joking.
(I have been contacted by a few so that could explain it) | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:16:34 PM | Meeting her and through the course of the night, find out I am not into her at all, but she is with me. That's the hardest. You try your best not to lead them on or encourage anything else. | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:48:06 PM | | Deltaasa..Is a fear....a shi***.....Ladies be aware.......He is cruel and mean,....and if I get banned for this,,,,so be it,,,,just be aware,,,,of this loser...... | |
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| what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/19/2009 2:27:19 AM | | Pretty much in agreement with posts 17 and 21. But another big one is the split personality type and not finding out about the second or third personality until too late. As for the she's a he drama I've spent so much time in Asia I can spot those 10 blocks away. | |
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