| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:50:11 AM | | I have been married twice to cheaters and the whistle was blown with both of them. With the first marriage one of his relatives told me and at this time I was pregnant with our third child, not a good time. With the second marriage someone I didn't know called me. This person knew too much about me and while I had her on the phone I called my (now ex) on his cell phone and asked where he was at and it wasn't where he told me he would be. We stayed together for about two years until I found out he was cheating again and I caught him myself. This man cheated numerous times with his first wife too. I found out he attempted to ask other s out but when we separated the women approached me to tell me that he had asked them out but they knew about me and refused, which every decent woman should do. He moved out that night and moved in with the other person and became engaged a month later but the relationship hit the rocks a month after that andhe wanted to move back in with me. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:00:37 AM | | she knows. we know when things are not right and we know when things change. women especially know. we feel.... the only time we dont know is when we pretend the signs are not there.. when we ignore the red flags...... THINGS THAT ARE DONE IN THE DARK WILL COME TO LIGHT! | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:02:29 AM | | Gosh, don't ya just hate it when an OP gets on all the time, but never posts an update. This thread is almost a month old and he hasn't updated us. I think maybe he stopped stalking his ex-wife...ok, hoping. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:04:56 PM | as an ex who was cheated on, these pollyanna-ish posts kind of annoy me. yes, tell her. hopefully, your motive isn't revenge or to break up the spouses, but even if it is, the cheated on spouse needs to know asap. you're not doing her any favor by keeping it from her. this is the kind of thing she needs to act on as quickly as possible...one way or the other. if she elects to stay in the marriage, the sooner she finds out, the better chance she has of saving the marriage. if she elects to divorce, the sooner she can get on with her life. (also, the sooner she knows, the better she can prepare legally for a divorce.) gee, you folks act like it's the wise thing to just let a problem of this magnitude fester. not the case!
for those of you who think you're wreaking havoc on the marriage by speaking up, no you're not. the havoc is already there whether the cheated on spouse knows or not. as i said, she needs to know so she can do whatever is ultimately in her best interest. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:16:05 AM | Not so much as wrecking havoc on the marriage, but crumbling a disabled woman's life.
Come on, we know with OP's cyber stalking and revenge talk, this isnt being done in the best interest of the victim, the OP's, boyfriends wife. He's doing it to cause pain to his ex, and the boyfriend. No other reason. If he were "over it" as he claims, he wouldnt intertain the thought of bringing an innocent person's world down over their head. He is just trying to validate his actions.
So, what now? Are we all so morally conscious, that we have to report everything we see wrong? In that case, there are a few thousand pot smokers on this site alone. Work on that , if you want to do good.
Sure, there are times in your life when you do have to step up to the plate. But if it hurts an innocent, disabled, person, how can this be right?
Besides, the cheating wife, probably isnt too happy either. Boyfriend isnt leaving his wife for her. Maybe he and his wife do have an agreement, lots of paraplegics are married and unable to perform sexually, Though, we dont know how the wife is disabled. We can surmise all we want, bottom line, nothing good comes from revenge. Op is on the road to regaining his life, best not to take one step back for every two steps forward. Op is only putting off his own recovery, dwelling on this. Maybe he gets off on having some sort of control/threat, over his ex and her boyfriend. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:31:37 AM | Just imagine if people actually took responsibilty for their fellow man.
I'm sure the world would be a better place.
There sure are many spineless, weak, morally bankrupt life forms on this planet.
Anyone here who would not want to know the truth themselves has personal issues.
Imagine that, there are actually people out there that can't deal in truth and honesty
so they feel it's alright to keep truth from others.
Wow, sad commentary on mankind.
Get a spine, tell the truth, take some responsiblity, and just maybe cheaters and such
will think twice about betraying someone that devoted their life to them. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:13:02 PM | | She might already know. Not your place to tell her. If a person asks you then you should tell the truth but going out of your way to do this is not the right thing to do. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:51:20 PM | | It is not your business. You are divorced from this woman and should not meddle in her affairs (play off words...haha). You should be living your life independently from her and her affairs (I did it again). Honestly dude, get a grip. Leave it alone. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:21:30 PM | | u mentioned she was disabled--for that fact alone i wouldnt tell her--she may not have a choice but to stay--and besides, she proly already knows hes a cheater--women always know--they may deny it, but they know | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:50:54 PM | Don't you miss the old days , you catch a guy cheating , you take him in the back , beat his ass, or have him " whacked'. Today it's send him to a shrink , let him talk about how he was neglected as a child, wasn't hugged enough, or hugged too much, and his wife neglects his poor needs, boooohoooooohooooo
I really dont think you should bring it to the wife's attention, you're a stranger, and as I mentioned in another post, sometimes the messenger gets shot, or shot down.
Do you think she would believe you ? this guy probably has his lies down pat, and he has a back up plan , plan C and D. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:44:30 AM | the folks on this board have so much wisdom and experience. there is not much for me to add, it depends on what you are trying to achieve at this point. do you want your wife back? do you want to hurt this man or his disabled wife? do you want closure? i would think twice since the wife is disabled and cannot do for herself. she probably has given him permission to get a lover as long as he takes care of her and acts like a good husband. you can be really dirty and vindictive by showing up to their church and announcing that this man took your wife or at their family gathering. you could put flyers in their neighbors mailbox that this man took your wife.
whatever happens, it will be your fault. you will be seen as the bad guy. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:53:11 AM | | It's possible that She already suspects it or know,s but because she needs her husband wouldn't do anything about it anyway. If you tell her, it's about you clearing your conscience and your needs, not hers. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:12:23 PM | You know what? For some reason most woman don't want to hear the truth even though they say they do. I've lost quite a few close friends over the years by telling them who, where, and when their husbands were cheating. I never even got a sc**w you out of it.
Then I was labeled by the single male population as a snitch that couldn't mind my own business. Adultery should not be tolerated but is by our American society. I'd do it again too because it should never be. Tell the truth it will at least set you free. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:16:06 PM | | I think coz of the condition of the cheated wife its not good to blow up if will jeorpadize the already polarized situation.Anyway may be the wife knows and its a matter of time for his days are numbered.Nowhere have i seen a discreet affair fairing forever so a should wait and see and hopefully the guy and the divorced woman will come into terms and senses of what is going! | |
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