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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:04:17 PM |
need to tell the wife of this cad all that you know about his infidelities. Really, you really think that his ex wife would confirm or deny anything about her private life to him? This man came on here trying to get support to spread a rumor to try to ruin another man's life because he blames him for his own ruined marriage. He has NO proof or he would have provided that to the wife in a reasonable amount of time when he found out! He wouldn't have been on the internet trying to dig up what he could on this man either.
If he has so much communication with the ex wife, he should tell her to tell the other wife. It is her business.
No one is so blind that they can not see? | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:16:32 PM | No backpedaling here, maam.
In your opinion the victims enabled him…….to do what? They enabled him to cheat by ignoring the blaring red flags he waved during thier courtships. They were so enamored by his seductive personality that they ignored that he was absent without explanation. He'd have to be to be able to have such a harem. Women know when they are not the only one the man they are involved with is seeing.. Read the threads here alone to get verification.
One of the women was involved with him for 7 years.. surely prior to catching him with another woman she would have suspected something?? As well, they were being used for their monetary benefits.. they paid for his vacations, got him jobs and saw nothing wrong with paying for him because of his "persuasive" way. The man was a gigalo.. Some enabled him by allowing themselves to be talked into the swingers lifestyle.. Highrisk and std testing should have been a regular event for the women who joined him in that lifestyle. Obviously those women are not too concerned about monogomy.
My heart goes out to these women who received a death sentence in exchange for their love. As does mine.. by pointing out how they enabled him does not make me insensitive to their plight. I certainly would have tried to alert the other women in the same situation .. I do repeat.. Op's situation is not even remotely the same. And the link just took us off topic.
It is unfortunate that you chose to ignore the only relevant action, the one that led to his criminal convictions. I will repeat it, “He’d known about his HIV status for some years prior to her becoming infected.” I repeat.. I do not condone his actions.. His evilness is obvious. It wasn't necessary for me to comment on it. Anyone who saw the video or red the articles would deduce that he should spend the rest of his infected life behind bars (sans his ballzzz IMO)
Your air of superiority and you peronal insults are  I repeat.. don't put words in my mouth to try and make your point.
You took this off-topic Are you off your meds? Repairguy took it off topic by introducing the link. It's unfortunate I chose to point out the difference between the link and this particular thread because it's taken it off the rails in relation.
OP: At this point.. it is none of your business.. If you tell her you will be deliberately hurting her when you know your motive is to hurt your wife and you are hopeful it will end her affair. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:27:09 PM | | That's a no brainer. She deserves to know and this guy deserves some payback. He's the lowest form of sleaze. I would have told her the second I found out. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:50:40 PM |
So now you are imagining Verity’s wet dreams…… makes sense since you’ve not offered anything logical merely your opinion which you seem to think you can shove down everyone’s throat who disagrees with you. Sarcasm, much like you have displayed here, is indicative of a low mentality.
Some of you seem to experience a little too much voyeuristic excitement over how others conduct their lives, so it’s my penchant to draw your attention to that fact by making an equally outrageous remark. Sorry you missed that.
The forums are filled with “opinion,” including what passes for intelligent discourse from time to time. Your recollection of what has transpired in this thread is seriously flawed from the get-go, which will allow your readers to make any assumption they choose about your own mentality. The fact is that you are responsible for continually re-routing this thread to dissimilar issues that have no bearing on the discussion, under the guise of illustrating your “logic.” The continued references to the HIV status of a man in an unrelated story is something that you have perpetrated after its initial mention, which forces the rational among us to continue to respond to it. But it’s only “shoving something down someone’s throat” when they disagree with you isn’t it? If people want to make inflammatory and baiting remarks, they will get back as good as they give, I guarantee you.
The fact is that if all persons were to report only what they deem illegal no suspicious activities would ever be reported. Recently an 18 year kidnap victim was rescued because two women thought the behavior of a man and his children unseemly. Not illegal, not that he was breaking the law in front of them……..merely that his behavior seemed odd. According to your logic those women should be condemned for interfering with a kidnapper. After all he was not breaking the law [in their presence].
If people report activities that are not potentially illegal, how is that productive or constructive? Generally speaking, people DO report suspicious activities, which are usually also illegal, otherwise, what the hell is the point?
Not everything you think is “suspicious” is necessarily reportable. If I see a strange man coming out of my neighbour’s house while her husband is away, and I decide that I should tell him of this “fact,” I’ll look pretty ridiculous when I find out he a friend who is supposed to be there.
But again, the Garrido kidnapping/rape/confinement issue is a completely dissimilar scenario. The fact that these two university cops were on-the-ball has everything to do with heightened awareness of child kidnapping or child abuse – WHICH ARE HEINOUS CRIMES. Furthermore, one of the women observing his behaviour was in the law enforcement profession, so they are highly tuned to observing legitimately strange behaviour, while the average person isn’t. Clearly, the trigger here was the inappropriate behaviour of the kidnapper towards the young girls, and the cross-referencing of the kidnapper’s story after-the-fact. Who would not act on the suspicion that there was something profoundly odd going on with this guy? Do you not see the DISSIMILARITY between child kidnapping/sexual abuse/rape and this thread? All those activities are double-plus bad, and rational people will make that discernment. There are not many people who will not get involved to protect a child, believe me, the unfortunate part is that it took 18 years to rescue them.
Honestly, how do you manage to integrate yourself into the world with the paranoid view that everything you see must be the direct result of some moral crime that requires some well-intended person to interfere? Are some of you all frustrated wanna-be private detectives? Or are you reality TV addicts who have been away from the tv for too long? Enquiring minds want to know!
Anyway, somebody should stick a fork in this thread, because it was done a long time ago when rational discussion ceased and the diversionary tactics began.
Tootles........ | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:11:03 PM | Wouldn't the laugh be on you to find out that his wife actually consents because she understands her disability affects their love life? It happens you know...
Ooooowwww... | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:21:27 PM | ^^^^ Well, the cheating husband certainly isn't in any hurry to leave his disabled wife for the Op's ex or he would have certianly done it by now..
This thread is done.. 
I'm with OnDamove.. EVERYBODY DANCE ..!!!
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:25:59 PM | Don't waist your time. Find someone else.
Get over your anger because of her.
If you like drama, your doing the right thing by staying in her life. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:45:12 AM | Think about the deliberateness of your proposed action and the responsibility of it.
This singular deliberate action is now only about your conduct.
You’ve had time to process and act with reason and hindsight.
Therefore can you hurting this woman be justified?
==========================================================
You have been hurt.
You are still hurt. We see that.
Does making her hurt the way you did…the way you do…make sense?
You’ve dealt with the cheating in your life; and that’s all that you are obligated to do.
Whatever is going on in another’s marriage… is irrelevant to you and your life.
Whatever you think you know about why people in marriages do things…the less you likely do.
In your case..your wife had an affair that you found out…and it hurt you.
You are making an assumption that it is exactly the same situation on the other side…
It may be...but it is also very likely not.
For all you know she already knows and has an arrangement with her husband to keep it discreet; or she knows and turns a blind eye because it works for her; or she doesn’t want to know and have to deal with it…because it means dealing with other things.
Affairs happen when something is wrong in a marriage…period.
You can rightfully blame your spouse for some of what was wrong …but you also have a role in and responsibility for whatever was wrong in your relationship that led to your spouse leaving your marriage. What those issues are, is between you and your wife now ex only.
The other spouse also has a role and responsibility for why her husband has turned outside of the marriage. Whatever reasons the man had for leaving his wife are between them; and you will never know really what those reasons are.
Just know that they are very unlikely to be the same reasons that played between you and your wife.
Whatever the current state; it is their marriage and their life.
You simply have no place in it.
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 187 | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 188 | |
| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:42:09 AM | OP you posted this on another thread .... perhaps you should take your own advice.
The best revenge in this situation is doing nothing.
And you said you were past this divorce hahaha you kill me
I think the best advice I've heard was to contact him and tell him to admit what he's done or I will have no choice but to do it for him.
Why don't you just move along with your life? Seriously. You will have NO CHOICE !!! That reads so funny, like you are the man or something. It sure must be eating you up inside to post crap like this. Please write back later when you really are over your divorce.
I have noticed that there are allot of men on the forums who are just drama kings. They have to keep the drama going to give them something interesting in their life to talk about. Have to show all their friends their justification for their divorce.
So you divorced her, but some of us might just wonder why she cheated on you. See there are always 2 sides to every story, and I think your colours are shining through.
Just another drama king.
Savona  | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:48:56 AM | I have to laugh when I hear people who want to be the arbitrator and executioner , Folks its' none of your business, why stick your beak in and be part of the drama, you're a stranger to this person, what makes you think they are going to listen?
I understand if it was a family member or close friend, I can appreciate that . Especially if you have proof beyond a reason of a doubt.
Other than that, mind your own business. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:52:54 AM | It sounds to me like you want revenge and you clearly haven't put it all behind you. You seem anger and bitter. Have you sought counselling to put the past to rest?
What your ex does is not your business.
Good luck. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:10:08 AM | Good Lord OP...get a grip and grow up !!!
[q]I came to grips and put everything behind me.[/q]
Really now? So why are you still talking about it?
[q]Their tawdry affair still continues and he's still married.[/q]
What's your point and why would this still trot in your head if, as you say above - you came to grips and put everything behind? Seems like you're lying or trying to convince yourself otherwise.
[q]I know, if I tell his wife, she would probably be hurt but, I also think she has a right to know.[/q]
Why would you want to hurt someone else?
Unless of course someone has promised you a BMW, a trip around the world, 5 million bucks...oh, and Barbie to fullfil your needs.
MOVE ON BUD !!! People here have told you enough times already...this is none of your business !!! Enough said. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:32:08 AM | I have mixed feelings on this... My (ex)wife of 10 years, told me she wanted a divorce. I was still very much in love with her and told her, no - I have no reason to divorce you. She said, "Well, I will give you a reason - 4 years ago I had an affair." I said, "I forgive you, I still love you, let's heal our marriage" (YEAH YEAH, I know - DUH on me). Long story short, there was another man involved and there was really no changing her mind, so it ended as amiably as could be expected. Here's the thing - the affair 4 years earlier; if a friend or family member knew that it had happened (it was a one-nighter) would I have wanted them to tell me?? Well, first response is, YES! Let me know! But really, after thinking it over, I am glad that I didn't know and lived in ignorant half-bliss for those four final years. The only possible reason I would think of for telling someone is the possiblity of his giving her a STD. But you'd have to be absolutely certain it was a verifible fact.
Personally, I'd just leave it be. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:54:08 PM | Some of you people are totally over the top.
Funny how some say " it's none of his business...". The hell it isn't.
His marriage was his business.
Someone caused him damage by getting into his business (beside his ex wife).
The two cheats may be causing someone else who may or may not know damage.
Why do you people think a cheat deserves to wreak havoc in peace?
Tell the other person or write them a letter and be done with it.
Truthful disclosure hurts only the guilty.
Clearly the folks who say "leave it alone" have screwed over partners in the past and want their 'brothers/sisters in shame' to walk away without recompense.
No wonder crime pays ... it's the "ghetto-anti-snitch culture".
Maybe the muslims are right - stone the guilty!
Get your heads out of the sand ... | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:21:04 PM |
His marriage was his business. Key word "was."
Truthful disclosure hurts only the guilty. Not in this case it doesn't.. it would certainly hurt the disabled wife if she doesn't already know though.
Why do you people think a cheat deserves to wreak havoc in peace? In therein lies the true motive for many of you who want him to tell the disabled wife.. You want wreak havoc in her husbands life.and op's ex's life. your concern is revenge.. PERIOD ..
Clearly the folks who say "leave it alone" have screwed over partners in the past and want their 'brothers/sisters in shame' to walk away without recompense. And just how do you think telling the wife will give the cheater just punishment? Clearly you have (and still are) in pain and not yet over an infidelity. Particularily when you think an opinion makes us guilty of something.
Maybe the muslims are right - stone the guilty! that would be op's ex and the husband.. The wife is not guilty here.. (nor are the posters that disagree with you) you'd be figuretivly stoning the disabled wife if one was to follow your logic.
Get your heads out of the sand ... I'd imagine it's cleaner in the sand than where your's is currently parked.
I truly hope you are able to let go of your past and move on in peace.. you sound angry, bitter and hatefilled...hardly prime dating material.
Good luck. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:25:24 PM | mahogany-rush said;
I have to laugh when I hear people who want to be the arbitrator and executioner , Folks its' none of your business, why stick your beak in and be part of the drama, you're a stranger to this person, what makes you think they are going to listen?
I understand if it was a family member or close friend, I can appreciate that . Especially if you have proof beyond a reason of a doubt.
Other than that, mind your own business.
Next time I see someone "key" your car mahogany-rush, I'll take your advice and "mind my own business. Next time I see someone do something to you that could be detrimental to you, I'll mind my own business. The next time you need help... I'll mind my own business. The next time some white, southern, baptist yokels get all drunk, riled up and take things into their own bumpkin hands... know what? I'll mind my own business.
Having owned several small businesses of my own, you know what each neighboring business does when you or your employees have to take a potty break or are busy helping another customer? ... they go out of their way to help make sure you're not ripped off by a cheatin' bastich customer. They go out of their way to help another customer when you can't handle it. It's called looking out for each other. It's called caring enough to help a brotha out!
How neighborly Mahogany. How honorable, to only help your "friends and family." How white of you to do this disabled woman such a favor since, all you really care about is how it affects you. As you and yours said... "none of your business."
I agree completely, she's best tendin to herself. ... oh, you never did answer my question. Here, let me repeat it. "Who's place is it to talk to her if not the OPs?" Hahahaha, what a joke. People like you don't answer questions, you just ridicule.
What a joke. I'm done with this thread, *picks up ball, heads out the park*. You guys win, don't tell the disabled woman. I have wasted enough of my time here. *flips through the papers* ... hmmm... Inglorious Basstards starts at 7:15! oooh, I can't wait.
Toodleloo peeps. And remember... "mind your own business!" *kicks self out the door* boot! ... ouch! | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:28:02 PM |
No it is none of your business. If you ratted me out like that there would be HELL to pay...
Central Reserve... I'd rat you out in a second cause you deserved it! And I would laugh and I would laugh. .. like this, "HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Cause you can only "Rat out" the guilty.
Couldn't help it, I forgot my tennis racket and saw his message.. had to respond.
Have fun peeps!!! | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:56:08 PM | | Honest its one you should just stay clear of you will be the one they both will be angry at . She may no anyways and opening the book may wider then they may want wont get u anywhere spouses know its a feeling u get and if not she will sooner or later butt out .. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/22/2009 4:13:46 AM |
Next time I see someone "key" your car mahogany-rush, I'll take your advice and "mind my own business. Next time I see someone do something to you that could be detrimental to you, I'll mind my own business. The next time you need help... I'll mind my own business. The next time some white, southern, baptist yokels get all drunk, riled up and take things into their own bumpkin hands... know what? I'll mind my own business. only a idiot would make that comparison, you know what kind of fallacy that is ? by the way nice shirt, who ever sold you that shirt had a wonderful sense of humour
How neighborly Mahogany. How honorable, to only help your "friends and family." How white of you to do this disabled woman such a favor since, all you really care about is how it affects you. As you and yours said... "none of your business." How white of me?? what the fu*ck does that mean? anyways you're one ignorant man, I can tell you owned several businesses, sustaining ignorance must of been real hard work for you.
The bottom line , which obviously YOU are too stupid to understand, so there's no point in even explaining it to , even if I dumb it down for you.
Who are you to lecture me or anyone on " what's right?" or morality, this is coming from a person who is married and online looking to get a little ass on the side and even broadcasting your wife has a boyfriend , found any friends yet?
The next time some white, southern, baptist yokels get all drunk, riled up and take things into their own bumpkin hands... know what? I'll mind my own business. I'm going to give you a little Geography lesson Moron, Canada is north of you , its another country, you need a passport to get in, As far as I can see, we don't have any Rustic, yokel, inbred, backwards nose pickin banjo playing ,fried chicken gizzard loving hillbillies, if that's whats in your area, thanks for the warning, and I would like to say when you're getting your ass kicked for trying to pick up the daughter of some pissed off guy when he finds out your married, I wouldn't help you either I might toss in a few Gift certificates for the fellow for a case of beer. | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/22/2009 4:48:27 AM |
Next time I see someone "key" your car mahogany-rush, I'll take your advice and "mind my own business.
^^^Should you help? You have proof in front of you; and it's a criminal act, so of course you should.
Next time I see someone do something to you that could be detrimental to you, I'll mind my own business.
^^^Again, you're seeing it --proof and if criminal there is an onus to act.
The next time you need help... I'll mind my own business. The next time some white, southern, baptist yokels get all drunk, riled up and take things into their own bumpkin hands... know what? I'll mind my own business.
^^^Again, it's playing out in front of you...you're seeing it and it's criminal it's incumbent upon anyone to help to act and that's entirely different thing than interfering in a marriage.
Adultery is not a criminal act.
Criminal acts require intervention. That's the difference.
A marriage is completely different than your neat and tidy list of must-act scenarios that happen in public because it is a private entity, not a public one.
It even goes beyond private to enshrine only the two members that are a part of its contract....not the family...not the extended family...just the two parties involved. Entirely exclusive, meaning it's none of anyone's business but the 2 parties involved.
The objective of the OP here is entirely suspect. Having worked through and dealt with the more immediate effects of finding out his partner has had an affair....his involvement now having divorced her...is OVER in her life....and thus, anyone SHE further involves herself with.
Therefore his motivation now appears to be only be one thing...not having dealt with all of the 'residual stuff' around this issue, it seems that he's seeking to stir the pot further which is akin to wanting to see revenge...justice...payback...whatever you call it....and his pending conduct here to interfere, given those motivations is simply wrong.
"Who's place is it to talk to her if not the OPs?" Hahahaha, what a joke. People like you don't answer questions, you just ridicule.
^^^Her husband is number one on the list of having 'this place'...as he's the marriage partner. People who commit affairs...do often eventually confess to them to their spouses. He may do so still.
Beyond that understand this...anyone of us who willingly involves ourselves romantically with others is not guaranteed that in doing so, that things will end well. We all take that risk with our heart. 'As adults' we all take risks in all choices that we make in our lives.
The wife is not of tender years here nor a child that needs to fall under 'society's wing and 'protection'. She's an adult. And when someone is an adult they understand that all sorts of things may happen as a bi-product of entwining one's life with another and of choices that they willingly make to be a part of someone's life.
Society doesn't need to protect an adult from choices that they consciously make and paths that they deliberately take...that don't guarantee their individual happiness. That is not the role of society.
With adulthood comes reality; and yes, that 'bite' often is not hard enough to land you in jeopardy....just hard enough that you need to make changes, pull away...to regroup, and be a bit introspective before coming out for the next go 'round. And it's clear to me anyway, that he's not done enough of that yet.
If there is clear jeopardy to any individual, then society has a role and must intervene imo, regardless of the marriage contract. This is not one of those instances.
jmo
jmo
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/22/2009 4:51:00 AM |
Why do you people think a cheat deserves to wreak havoc in peace?
This statement alone pretty well sums up the thought process for a number of men in this thread. It's so obvious to everyone that you are wearing your messed-up lives on your sleeves.
Most women will quickly see through this false bravado, especially when the drama you create is all your own.
Please find a way to move past your hate and anger, otherwise you are not dating material. In fact, you're not even "friend zone" material.
G'luck......... | |
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| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/22/2009 4:56:12 AM | Eventually, she will find out. People who cheat always slip up somewhere and get busted. You will make yourself responsible of setting things in motion and seeing to it that she makes it through.
Most often times with people that do get involved this way never hang around to see what happens afterward. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 202 | |
| should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/22/2009 5:27:03 AM | apollofriend
Apollo I had to look three times at your profile to realise you were a man and not a woman, sheesh ....
The next time some white, southern, baptist yokels get all drunk, riled up and take things into their own bumpkin hands... know what? I'll mind my own business.
Apollo are you referring to your family and friends here?
Apollo you just pick up your little ball and head out of the park back to your wife and enjoy your open marriage.
How white of me?? what the fu*ck does that mean? anyways you're one ignorant man, I can tell you owned several businesses, sustaining ignorance must of been real hard work for you.
The bottom line , which obviously YOU are too stupid to understand, so there's no point in even explaining it to , even if I dumb it down for you.
Who are you to lecture me or anyone on " what's right?" or morality, this is coming from a person who is married and online looking to get a little ass on the side and even broadcasting your wife has a boyfriend , found any friends yet?
I so agree ....
Savona | |
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