| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 10:22:30 AM | i'm thinking of changing mine to read:
'seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives.'
what do you think? | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 10:22:40 AM | ROFLMAO! 
That was the best I've read so far! I wonder if Daisy found her new love? | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 10:29:41 AM | i just had to get in on this one, i had a real nice straight forward profile, and well i just got bored with it and wanted to have some fun, so check it out
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member1303607.htm | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 10:47:38 AM | "The following ad actually ran in the Atlanta Journal:
...ask for Daisy."
That's exactly what I thought of when I first saw this thread. Glad it was posted here.
About a year ago some acquantances tried to fix me up with a cute, affectionate blond... found on the side of the road no less. LOL | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 11:38:28 AM | Okay, this one's one me - I had no idea... but you get to laugh at my expense!!!
Someone just messaged me and let me know that when my profile comes up in the search, it starts with "Fall is coming and I'm not...." *sigh* ain't it the truth....  | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 11:59:08 AM | | its nice to find a profile that stands out with some humor. if she can pique my curiousity with laughter and intrigue -i'm soooooo there. | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 2:51:49 PM | juniper "seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives.' I think you should do it, that's a hoot!!
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 4:58:01 PM | LOLOLOL...some of those are so funny. There was a thread in humor that had a lot of funny profile links in it ~ I can't find it now... | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/22/2006 11:18:02 PM | Pretty amusing..my friends and I joke and laugh about writing profiles like that. Nothing funny or amusing about my profile. Too serious; it needs help! | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 9/23/2006 1:25:56 PM | Here's one I thought was funny:
I like women who are completely toothless. Prefer women who wear complete upper and lower dentures. No dental implants please, they are a complete turn off to me. That is the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Ladies: any takers? He's still looking. | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 11/2/2006 8:09:44 PM | | mine is supposed to be funny. that doesn't always seem to get through to internet-land though. Still looking for my alcoholic boyfriend....*sigh* | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:17:54 PM | Yay!!! My first post...I'm all a twitter with giddiness...I just wanted to express my appreciation for those people that have funny, unique and witty profiles instead of the same monotonous profiles that read like a grocery list of wants and dislikes etc...Obviously, this is a dating site and you want to convey to the community why exactly you're on this site but it's quite refreshing to come across a profile that is just a little bit different; on the unconvential side; a profile that actually makes you chuckle. I have come across quite a few where I was honestly laughing out loud. My memory is terrible so I can't contribute any quotes but bravo to those who keep the funny alive!!!
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 9:45:32 AM | This one used to always get me in trouble when it was my headline...
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
So when I'd get the hate mail, I'd simply reply, don't blame me, Nietzsche said it first...
Of course most of the times, when I'd say Nietzcshe, they'd say "Gesundheit", so what could I expect.
That reminds me, I gotta go change my quote on my profile...I found a more perfect one...
Cheers! | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 11:01:30 AM |
"Only here for the forums. You don't want to meet me anyhow. I'm an oily, flatulent, vulgar, fat hunchback with a scorching case of herpes".
OK now I might pee my pants..........
thanks for the hoot | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:29:25 PM | Several years ago I was reading the personals in Seattle's 'The Stranger'. I came across one ad that said:
"Seeking 300 lbs + woman to sit and squish doughnuts on me." | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 2:37:09 PM | "On match.com there is a fellow that says he likes to dress up and wear high heels!" Not all that funny, I had one like that write me here and asked if that would be a dealbreaker...no joke! I politely as I could said that I'd definitely have a problem with that.  | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:37:37 PM | My all time fav.
I wanna find this guy and marry him, NOW! 
Are you my soul mate?
Date: 2005-07-09, 10:50PM PDT
SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.
I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.
I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.
My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.
Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.
Serious replies only, please. | |
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lfrs
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 73 | |
| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/5/2007 6:48:38 PM | ROFL at Sooooooooo Many of these........
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think. Single male farmer looking to teach some cowgirl the ropes.
Toooooooo cute!! thanks for the laughs....
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 6/6/2007 6:17:44 AM | "Wanted Meaningful Overnight Relationship"
And if that works out, who knows we may even become friends.
Used that one for a while and received more than my fair share of hate mail.
Some people just don't get Ironic humour I guess.... | |
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| funny online dating profiles
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:01:27 PM | I try to avoid the whole attention-seeking thing, but what the heck, have a look at my profile.
Not only did I spend more than four seconds writing it, but I also spelled some of the words correctly.
Whenever someone writes to me to say that she found it funny, then I immediately consider her to be lacking a life enough to be my sort of girl.
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