| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:37:14 PM |
Just wondering if relationships... or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.
Nope. If I was ever frustrated I'd try to improve my weak points and learn from my mistakes. Like water on a duck brotha man. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:51:00 PM | The opposite actually. I was somewhat bitter in my youth thanks to a rather abusive upbringing. By the time I was 18 I had decided it was foolish to trust anybody. However, at 38 I've softened tremendously as a result of all types of relationships ... romantic, friendly, professional, and even the somewhat adversarial ones.
What has impacted me the most is discovering how fragile we all are and how easy it is to hurt someone without realizing it or intending to. Once I discovered that flaw in myself, it made it much easier to let go of those old grudges that lead to bitterness. Relationships haven't made me bitter, they've given me a greater capacity to empathize and understand the other person's perspective without taking things too personally. | |
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EST74
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Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 128 | |
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/30/2009 3:33:46 PM | | Not in the least bit. It goes without saying that I have certainly had my share of relationships that didn't turn out the way I hoped they would but in each case it was an opportunity to learn a lesson. All of those past lessons hold value for each subsequent relationship and for me that's nothing to be bitter about. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:44:23 PM | | Nah. Be bitter about the one who caused you the problems, don't be bitter about people you haven't even met - it's a self-defeating prophecy you create then. Even when it comes to the bitterness about past relationships, you've gotta learn to let it go and move on, otherwise you wind up simply being a bitter person that no one wants to be around, man or woman. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:58:37 AM | Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.
When we are all young, guy or girl, we always think that we'd easily find someone special to complete us and have that fairy tale ending. But I feel like cheating, people's prides, and little annoyances have made us get more wiser but more bitter at the thought of finding their "soulmate" or whatever that person maybe.
Your thoughts please.
Bitter about life? No. I love my life. Bitter about relationships? Also no. My past relationships have not soured me on men or a possible future relationship. I have the fairy tale ending, i.e., a wonderful life and the fulfillment of dreams--just want someone to share it with.  I think it helps a lot to not have an unhappy 20 year marriage & a bitter divorce behind me. Cheating, emotional pain inflicted by a mate, etc: I made choices to avoid those things, and, for the most part, I did. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:53:41 PM | I am wary but hopeful.
My name however, is not Miracle ...
Okay it isn't that bad. I just think you need to put aside the things that don't matter and concentrate only on the main aspects.
Too many people feel constrained and then look for an excuse as to why that person doesn't meet their criteria.
Live and let live ... you might actually find LOVE too ... that's the hopeful me talking LOL | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/10/2009 5:51:47 PM | Relationships are like schooling. I don't regret any of what I've learned-it has enriched me as a person. I'm more excited for my next go round bc I am now more clear than I have ever been about what is and is not right for me. My previous relationships have served to expand my heart and have more compassion for others. I am able to see easily when someone is brokenhearted if they have gone through similar emotions as I ever have. It is good to have insight that might actually help another human being a tiny bit along their way. It is also good to know how not to end up in the situations that don't work for me anymore. The time spent was a gift, even though there were times when that was hard to see | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:31:03 PM | Oh hell yes. I have become almost masogynistic over the years of bad relationships. See, I fall under the nice guy trap, and likewise, have become bitter about it and have become less kind over time because of it, which is partly my fault for letting it happen.
My problem is with young girls today...I just have no real faith in them anymore, because I admit to having high expectations, and they seem to fail at em everytime. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:54:06 PM | | My last relationship ending made me real sad. If any thing I feel dating has made me bitter. I dont understand it and I hate doing it. But it is either date or be alone. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:56:44 PM | | OP ..nope not at all , why would you date to just not be alone, I do feel that is for the wrong reasons ..or maybe I am reading it wrong ???.I love being on my own a little too much I think haha | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:52:18 PM | | Relationships haven't made me bitter, but I've learned a lot about myself and a lot about people dating and watching other couples. Dating is incredibly complicated these days because people are adding so much into the mix, but if I didn't think I was going to have a relationship, I wouldn't do it. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:08:08 PM | OP:
Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life
Bitter about life? No
Disillusioned about online dating? Yes | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:08:01 PM | I let the past stay in the past and that includes bitter feelings. Not all relationships work thats a part of life. I think when you hold on to ill feelings then you can never truly have closure. Life is always changing and you just have to look for the positive instead of the negative from your past relationships. One can never have a future when you still live in the past. You never forget but forgiving allows you the freedom to grow.
Like reading a book once you turn that page you remember what you read but your mind travels on with the new page. Relationships sometimes begin new chapters. Enjoy life. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:17:48 PM | youcantimagine,
I really liked your points. I think that it really depends on the reason for the breakup. Oddly enough to me, there are couples who break up just because they weren't compatible...nobody cheated or anything...they just weren't compatible. I personally have never had that luxury of just breaking up with someone because we didn't like the same genres of music. If I break up with someone, it's because being with them is damaging to my health in some way (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually). With that being said, I never stay friends with an ex; because I do not keep friends who are backstabbers.
Men are quick to label a woman as "bitter" before even knowing exactly what she has been through. I've had a few men recently say they felt like kicking themselves after calling me bitter and THEN hearing all the things I have been through. Those same men then retract their bitter statement and go to have huge respect for me and the kind of person I am. I think there is a difference between being bitter and giving up, and being bitter but continuing to move forward. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:51:09 PM | | No. I refuse to live my life like that because, in my opinion, that is not living. I have actually been there, so I think I speak with experience on this. Hurting is a part of life and I will embrace living to the fullest as long as I walk this world. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:56:35 PM | Oh I agree Apenda, relationships are all a part of life's journey, ya live and learn... life would be far to boring without them....kinda like a rollercoaster ride... ya just hangon when it comes to the big dips!.. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:02:19 AM | Nope. I wouldn't even have a clue what bitter felt like if it came up and slapped me in the face. I like sweet things, never bitter things, and that goes for my train of that also.  | |
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TBLZ
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Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 150 | |
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:10:37 AM |
Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.
Bitter? No. I honestly never wanted to get married or have kids when I was younger. So at this point, my expectations have been lowered when it comes to relationships. I just want to raise my kids the best I can and enjoy the ride while doing so...LOL.   | |
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