hunyy
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Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 151 | |
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:16:57 AM | | Nah not bitter but made me a lil cautious at times but ive learned a lot also..so i put past experiences down to just that learning experiences ....... | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:39:47 PM | | yeah, unfortunately sometimes I feel that way...Not getting any bites from this place doesn't help either...lmao...Oh well, I keep trying, even tho I seem to have hit another dry river. Also....what's with married men wanting something from outside marriage...get real!!!!! okok...sorry bitter momment, I'll just go sit in my corner again | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:22:51 PM | I have never been bitter about any relationship at all..... hurt maybe, but not bitter. Cautious maybe, but not bitter. I will not allow myself to entertain bitterness, as it is not a healthy thing to be carrying around, and it can grow like a cancer and turn into more things like hate, etc. Not good.
I knew a man that had a bad divorce. His wife left him for his best friend. He had 2 children with her and they had a bitter divorce. It is now almost 30 years later, and he is STILL bitter. He still cannot trust women, still will not allow himself to get into any kind of deep committed relationship, still questions everything that women do...etc. I told him he has to finally let it go and get over it. Even if he NEVER again goes into a committed relationship, he must let it go for HIMSELF. He will not change, because he does not want to. So all he does is have casual flings. He said he can have the sexual fun without the hurt heart. Well, that might be good for him, but it's not a good healthy thing for everyone. Get over it and move on with your life. Be careful & cautious, but if you never trust anyone again in your life, you may be missing out on something special. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:27:09 PM | | Hurt ye. I just found out that this person I been talking to for the last week and planning to meet this weekend is completely lying to me. Welcome to the club. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:56:08 PM | My 23 year old marriage did not make me bitter. In fact I came out feeling okay about myself... I learnt a great deal about who I was and how tolerant I can be. I became calmer in myself and a lot happier... I then had a 2 year relationship, which taught me so much about love, and was devastated when that ended. Still I felt okay, sad, but still clear that I was okay and I learnt from the experience...
Then came POF... I have met some really nice people on POF, but have not felt the chemical attraction that I have had in my previous relationships. I go on the occasional date, but not really bothered anymore. I have also met some definite NO's...
I am not bitter and do feel that 'Mr. Perfect for me' will show up eventually. I don't expect to meet him on POF though...
The only thing that has discouraged me recently is reading the bitterness and attacks on the Forums... I have never been exposed to the viciousness that people display here.
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:57:29 AM | My thoughts on this subject.
Depend on no one for your own happiness. Accept the reality and move on. Being bitter only makes it harder on yourself. People need to know they are the ones who are responsible for making their own happiness. Life goes on, you can either be a part of it, or step back and let someone else take charge.  | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:08:20 AM | THe following types of attitudes and many more like this that I see on here are what keep me single. I'm not bitter in the sense that I still see the good men, but I am a realist with my eyes wide open.
A strong woman should be strong enough as to accept that no man has the obligation to care about what she wants or likes.
All women have a will of their own which needs to be broken. So in my view all women have a stubborness and pride about them which needs to be destroyed before they're any use to a man relationally.
Or there's the guys on the pregnant 20 yr old girl who won't have an abortion thread who say she shouls be kicked in the stomach or the other guy who said she needs a punch in the ovaries.
Since I know there are these guys who are open about their contempt and aggression towards women I also know they are the tip of the iceberg. Under this are many many men who still believe they should be treated like gods by us women, that we should be there to serve their needs and that is all we are here for. It goes right back to the greatest con that Eve was created as a helper, nothing more than a subordinate to Adam, not his equal.
This attitude could take generations to outgrow, if ever. Does that make me bitter. No I think they are bitter. I am a realist who always planned to stay single if I didn't find a man who deigns to treat me better than he'd treat his dog. That's why I was a career woman from the getgo. I never planned to need a man so much (financially) that I had to take this shit and it was a good plan. I could afford to wait for the right guy. WHy should I be bitter about that. I'm eternally grateful my mom taught me about reality at a young age. No foolish dreams for me.
Don't forget, there is a reason they call us bytches. It's no coincidence they liken us to dogs, not becuase we are ugly but becuase we are supposed to be SUBORDINATE.
And people wonder why so much divorce, so many sad marriages and so many faked orgasms lol.
Guys, wake up. Women, steer clear until they do.
70% divorces initiated by women is IMO caused by these attitudes for the greatest part. Women are sick of men like this. Women are waking up and saying **** that I don't need this god complexed ***hole in my bed.
And they say feminists did this. Nonsense, feminism was a backlash against male supremacists who insist they should be able to act like god to us. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:10:04 AM | I don't need anyone to "complete" my life as I can do that on my own. I would like someone in my life as a complement to it though. It gets harder at my age to find someone compatible.
At my age, I think we're less willing to compromise. Maybe we jes' get more scared. I'm not sure.
I do get bitter sometimes, but I don't think it's related to dating all that much. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:25:25 PM | I'm not bitter...I'm just "bUrNoUt" Had enough of the games and lies...And...this is the first time I'm able to enjoy myself being on pof... Yee-Haa  | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:44:24 PM | | i don't feel the least bit bitter because no one forced me to do what i did or be with the one i was with..i was always free to leave at anytime but i stayed...people should look within and ask themselves what made them make the decisions they made...to grow as a person and learn from each mistake is the wisest way to live your life.. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:48:01 PM | The only one I got bitter over was catching my wife in infidelity, and of course the resulting nasty divorce. But in my own defense; you devote 8 years of your life to someone just to walk in and see that…………..Well…………I think being bitter is a normal response.
Which is exactly why I decided to take a year to myself (No relationships at all) just to get back to “being me”.
V | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:49:08 PM | | yeah I'm not going to lie I have been bitter about online dating and my last relationship (way back) also made me bitter as well. But we gotta learn to put our bitterness aside and keep going on going after what we really want or else bitterness is going to run you dry. Don't settle for less and keep fighting. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:11:24 PM | been in one relationship and one marriage that made me bitter.. or cynical.. jaded.. call it what you want...
but I learned that eventho situations may seem hopeless, hurtfull or at the time devastating..
looking back there's always something where you can be proud of, may it be the way you carried yourself after a set back or the realization you dodged a bullit..
permit yourself to grow.. life isn't a disney movie. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:50:11 AM | | Good Morning Vrothu...you have a right to be bitter...and it is really nice that you have decided to take time out for yourself...you need this time to be with only you...cuz...i find you a very attractive man...but you smoke...ouch...take time out and travel when you can and just be with YOU...please don't get in any kind of a relationship until you know that bitterness is all gone...sorry what had happen to you...that has been done to me too...hang in there buddy...God Bless You :o)... | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:49:33 PM | | V my 2nd relationship was similar to your but not a marriage and I did the exact same thing as you did about taking a year off and more for me to heal and get better for me. Much Respect! | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:53:29 PM | | Actually more cautious.Less than trusting and only take things at face value. Everyone has an agenda of some sort,something they want from you . | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:01:38 PM | | The real danger is when you are bitter to the point of dropping out of the game altogether. I guess it's natural to step back and take a break every once in a while...but at what point does self-healing turn to bitterness? | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:28:16 PM | Blue; I disagree. I don’t think its bitterness that makes people “drop out of the game”. (I really disagree with the term “game”, but that’s something different) It takes a deep understanding of yourself to acknowledge to both yourself and to the world that you have an issue, and that you need to be alone to work on it.
In my case; my ex-wife’s actions and the nasty divorce turned me into someone I really didn’t like. I really hated what I had become during that time. And instead of hooking up with the next woman I could have, and “working things out” on her. (Which she would not have deserved) I decided to “man up” admit I was damaged goods and do the only thing I could do, wile maintaining my honor. And the only honorable/reasonable choice I could come to was to stay completely alone and get back to being someone I liked.
Now it’s taken almost 2 years of “flying solo” for me to be truly happy with who I am, and to be ready to “throw my hat into the ring” as it were. Now let me tell ya, two years of no romantic or emotional attachments (and yes NO sex) is hell. But I truly believe that was the best choice I could have made. And I’m glad I made it.
In my opinion you can only truly see you’re self when you’re alone. And you must be able to look at your self to work on the things you need to fix.
I feel a bit of explanation is due here. My divorce took nearly a year in it’s self. It wasn’t until that was done that I knew I needed to take time to myself. Because even during the time of the divorce I was still married until the divorce was final.
Maybe I’m just strange but in my mind until your divorce is final you are still married, and as such you are still bound by your oath of fidelity. So for me, during the time of the divorce dating wasn’t even an option, regardless of my ex-wife’s actions.
Adam | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:47:19 AM | I became bitter after a while. Then I realized that good relationships are hard to find, which in a twisted way is a good thing. I learned to be happy with myself and comfortable alone and became less bitter and what I'd like to think is more wise. Wise or simply full of crap and unable to tell the difference.
Listen to others, learn from their mistakes and happiness, but don't ever lose hope. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:17:08 AM | I just started this online dating thing a little under a year ago. So far it has been an eye opening experience. Someone who said they where from a place close by and then turned out to be from Russia, have tried to scam me. Mailed people who don't write back and yet view me daily. Have been told where to go and how to get there a couple of times and yet the persons still view my profile daily. WTF. If you dont' like me or don't want to get to know me, why are you still looking at me? GET THE NET ALREADY  . Thought men where suppose to be players?
Am a little more bitter but still am hoping to find a "soulmate". We all are, we keep going no matter how bleek things are because that thought fills those who believe in true love with hope. Might be talking out my backside but that is what I think. | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:07:58 AM | vrothu...i believe that you're still married until the divorce is final...since i'm a boxer...you can throw you hat in my ring    | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:11:01 AM | Bitter? No. Not so naive and a bit cautious? Yes.
Then again, I'm a young'on' and have lots of time to become bitter.  :/ | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:02:38 PM | Exquisite,
A “boxer” huh……………? Normally I would challenge you to a friendly sparring match. However right now you’d kick my butt. (just had a work bobo that left some stitched in my left hand) So instead I’ll just – Bow eloquently – and say “Thank you M-Lady”
Adam | |
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| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:38:31 PM | | I'm already "complete" just as I am, tyvm , but someone to complement me might've been nice. I've grown and learned as a result of my relationships (or lack thereof lol) over the years & I'm really happy with where I am right now. No matter how bad my online experiences have been (and some have been pretty damn bad) I'll always be a romantic schmuck wishing for a happy ending..for anyone out there. Gotta have love in this world..just gotta. | |
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