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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:46:57 PM |
Should I mention the phud in my profile or not Only if it matters to you. From the rest of your post I doubt why it should.
But your profile says you are 'highly educated' and you are looking for an 'equal'.
The rest of your profile doesn't give much clue about who you are. Are you saying you're not interested in someone who uses a motorcycle or someone who likes to watch the superbowl? Skiing, hiking, yoga? - how do you keep your athletic figure?
Is tree-hugging a major part of your life, or just a descriptor of your politics? Would you be as interesting without your qualifications? | |
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1jamez
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Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 52 | |
| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:03:17 PM | essential no, preferred yes... it minimizes the element of surprise =)
each will be better equipped to anticipate the other
extremes in cognitive inequality are senseless but I trust the the discrepancies you indicate are by far more subtle
I do not see how two people with dramatically differing intellects can coexist but they do. To cite one exception, I know a lawyer who married a construction worker but the general rule is... no.
most don't and there are many reasons for it beyond my entire understanding I am sure =).
since education and tolerance is correlated, I can not see an academic falling trap to the fall for, as in love is blind, than the stand for in the continuation of their journey. Not that they are cold, quite the contrary with greater ACQUIRED compassion.
on another note, post grads are usually well verse in only one discipline anyway. However, any discipline that exercises the mind generates a greater sense of awareness.
I guess the key lies in the degree of difference between the two and what consistencies are responsible for the bond.
lastly, consider the concept of respect than your crassly indicating "inferiority complex"
they cower out of respect not inferiority and those that do not are the inferior ones...For example, I don't slap my phycian on the back and say how the hell are you =)
I would not be averse to being with a doctor, but think with my tolerance, vice, and ego I would lose my identity, and live like a robot taking instruction from a computer =) Even if she would want to have anything remotely to do with some one like me =) | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:58:15 PM | Surely the only criteria worth considering in a PhD /PhD realationship is whether each is a good shag.
If the sexlife is good then trust is usually there as well.
Since both are high achievers then income is probably not a big issue.
So a rule of thumb is Shaggibility = Compatibility
S=C
I am confident that penis size P is a factor
therfore S*P = C
discuss | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:17:50 PM | Stop trying to hijack the thread...just because you can come up with a pseudo-formula, does not make it relevant...
I am amused, for my own reasons... 
Good one, enriquecalor... | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:24:13 PM | Interesting thread...
I don't suppose I can answer it fairly. I'm working on my PhD in particle physics right now, and I've never used this to beef myself up around anyone or to get dates. But... if you guys are suggesting that it works, then I think I'll start trying it. Nah... But I've never even considered dating a girl with her PhD or working on one. This is for no other reason than the fact that every girl I've been interested and have dated has had no desire to do this. The degree doesn't matter to me. My last girlfriend was a college drop out who couldn't dedicate herself to anything for more than a few months or a year without losing focus and needing to move on to something else. This didn't bother me at all, and I actually enjoyed it as a nice contrast to how I am.
I think if I dated a girl in grad school or already with a PhD or Masters, it might not be as good as I would hope. If I dated a girl too much like me then I imagine it would be a disaster. However, after my last relationship, I do think that I would need to date someone who places more importance on intellectual issues and who has interests at least somewhat similar to my own. In that sense, I can see the value in dating someone based on their similar education level. But like others have said, a lack of a higher degree doesn't suggest a lack of interest in these things, or of ability, or of intelligence.
But this thread sure is amusing... I've learned a lot! I've learned that people with higher education apparently all think we are better than everyone else. I've learned that most people aren't exactly sure what a PhD is. I've learned that a PhD is equivalent to a 2 year community college, or a year of becoming a master carpenter. Hell, I wish I knew this years ago. This has been a very educational thread, indeed! | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:38:57 PM | ^^^^ Haven't you ever heard that saying about physics being an "Oh" major -- because when you meet a girl and tell her you are one, they always say "Oh..."?
In other words, all your concerns may be largely of a purely academic nature. Sorry, I'm just the messenger. | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:23:52 PM |
"Oh..."? Depends how they say it, I guess.....
Isn't that what they say when they're having an orgasm?
Then again...
Depends how they say it. | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:29:57 PM |
Isn't that what they say when they're having an orgasm?
 My dear john, that would be OHHH! | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:11:35 PM |
^^^^ Haven't you ever heard that saying about physics being an "Oh" major -- because when you meet a girl and tell her you are one, they always say "Oh..."?
In other words, all your concerns may be largely of a purely academic nature. Sorry, I'm just the messenger.
Haha, I've never heard it put that way, but it's definitely true.
When I was in undergrad and went to parties I liked to try to avoid any form of talking about myself or what I did. Whenever I would mention physics, girls (and even most dudes) would just go "ah... ok," and then either pretend they had to go do something, or just kind of stop talking.
Now I don't attend very many parties, and the places I frequent have more open-minded individuals, so I don't need to worry as much about mentioning the P word. I still refrain from it if I can, though. Luckily I, and all of the other physics PhD students I regularly hang out with, don't seem anything like typical "physics nerds". This helps. | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:28:44 PM |
OHHH!, mtn - it sounds so much better when YOU say it!
*smug smile* Of course it does. 
What the heck does Phd stand for any way? Penal hard drive?
enriquecalor is a bad influence...
I guess I haven't given my opinion yet. No, I wouldn't hold it against anyone just because they have a Phd. I am sure they are taking medicine for it... | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:47:30 PM |
What the heck does Phd stand for any way?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor of Philosophy
Thank you, for clarifying that...
Going back to the original post...
I would not have thought it important at all but it always seems to breed an inferiority complex.
I feel like this is true, only when someone has been made to feel less than, because they are less educated. And it is not solely within academia, but in all actualities. Financial, circumstantial...some people feel like they should be further in life, than where they actually are. And when I say further...I am not talking about education-wise, or financial-wise, or familial-wise...I am talking about self-fulfillment. A lot of people, (I would even go so far as to say, most people) endeavor to improve their lives. It is the "means" on how they do it, that is a predetermining factor in their quality of existence.
When someone is confronted with someone who has achieved their goals, that person becomes a mirror, of all what they (the person who has not achieved their goals), aspire to be...and it may be interpreted as a positive impact, or a negative impact. It is very relative, since it is based upon interpretive response.
And of course, this may or may not, have anything to do with dating a person with a Phd.
Can people merely not converse without reflection as to what one does for a living or how one is educated?
Have you ever gone to social gathering, where it was unnecessary to disclose your career? I have.
But then (a contradiction, here), I sometimes ask, what do people do for a living? Only because I am curious...and sometimes it reveals a passionate pursuit...and sometimes, it reveals where they are dispassionate about what they are actually pursuing...either way, to me, it is always a gain...I learn about the person I am engaging a conversation with.
Just some thoughts... | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:28:34 AM | | I think it does matter a bit on one's education level. Those who has at least a bachelor tends to be able to write longer sentences and express their thoughts better. But then again, I've meet a few people who weren't formally educated and have made me feel I need to be on my A game to keep up. | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:37:58 AM | I must revise my ideas
So a rule of thumb is Shaggibility = Compatibility
S=C
I am confident that penis size P is a factor
therfore S*P = C
Now taking into account the "Oh" factor
S*P = C+O were P is measured in US inches
O is time in seconds in state of orgasmic excitment | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:53:35 PM | | Also, I just took PhD off my profile, thinking it might be doing more harm than good! | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:32:00 PM | Note to brain (for use in next lifetime): S*P=C+O
..who said these forums are a waste of time...... | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:50:21 PM | No way, C is dimensionless / O can't have units of time.
Hmmm, that's a problem, unless you can express S in seconds per inch. Not too far fetched when you think about it!
But I'm still having a problem with C. I was thinking maybe it needs to be a negative value - expressing the time interval between orgasms. Zero would be most compatible. Or maybe there'd need to be a gender adjustment. I need to think about this some more! | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:53:18 PM |
I need to think about this some more!
Don't overthink it!
C+S(P)=O
O is time in seconds in state of orgasmic excitment
Unless they are multiple...just sayin'... | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:59:59 PM | Sitting here thinking of the PhD men/women in my family and amongst my friends (over 100) who have taught at MIT, Stanford, Cal Tech, or work at Sandia National Labs, or Lawrence Livermore Labs, only a few are married to other PhD's. Doesn't mean any are married to uneducated spouses, far from it. Many are like Bill Gates whose wife has a college degree but he has two years of Harvard.
My late husband was an engineer, while I have two years of university and continue to take classes since I would like to finish my degree. Most of the PhD folks I know are more interested in their spouse having some university and a desire to always be learning and involved in worthy activities, than having a PhD. My Dad had a PhD in engineering, and my Mom had her BS when they married and thirty years later she went for her Masters.
~Beth~ | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:51:00 PM | oh yes, phd should date phd
and the man should be taller than the woman, make more money and be older-
rules concerning the heart-
hummm
never~ | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:20:08 PM | Dear intellectually superior people,
I am astounded that in the three pages of comments I have read in response to this thread, not a single person has attributed their success to anything but themselves.
It is a sacrifice of time and effort to obtain any kind of excellence in any field of work or study. There are some facts that seem to have been ignored.
1) How blessed you are (or lucky) to have the ability to achieve.
2) How blessed you are (or lucky) that someone took the time to teach you skills.
3) How blessed you are (or lucky) that you had the resources available to develop.
4) How blessed you are (or lucky) that someone inspired you and encouraged you.
5) How blessed you are (or lucky) that you had good health and the wealth to do it.
6) How blessed you are (or lucky) that war or famine did not interrupt your work.
7) How blessed you are (or lucky) that God didn't remove those gifts.
I have a booger in my nose that needs picking so if you will excuse me I will thank God that he has provided me with nose hairs so that my lungs don't congest from dust and other debris (in spite of how many nose hairs I have picked out with dry crusty boogers common to the dust bowl of Southern Alberta). He has kept me supplied with an abundance of nose hairs which, now in my old age, are coming out my ears.
D | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:29:47 PM | I don't know about using the P value. In statistics, when P<0.05, it's significant. During sex, much less so. And anyone who says that Compatibility is unitless has never been in divorce court. Compatibility is measured in Potential Dollars Lost.
Seriously, though, I've been in academia. Some PhDs get Ivory Tower Syndrome, where they get a swelled ego behind their letters. I've also met PhDs who couldn't get research funding, lost tenure and are stocking shelves at Wal-mart. The letters mean nothing. Research is mostly a con game anyway. Not 1 scientist in 100 can point to any real benefit their work has done. And I was one of those 99.  | |
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| PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:32:11 PM | 
Hmm, that's surprising to hear from a Ph.D.
I reckon I got a few books under my belt (5) and articles and what not and, of course, the research grants. At heart, I'm still the same TX Hill Country person, no matter what. Them people at the General Store are right proud of my achievements, and that makes me really glad. But they also, know, that I'm still the same "Giffie" that I always was. I stay the same, for them, because I love them.
So, this ol degree from Northwestern though, has given me the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Some of that difference has come from the ability to transform students who needed assistance in getting to the "next level" in terms of making a difference in this world. Whether it be generating more revenue because, through the knowledge that they gained, they open their own business (I have several of those), or using that knowledge to formulate theories, and strategies to assist drug addicts (I have one of my former students doing that, too), it was the knowledge that they gained, and the legitimacy that they get from having a "Ph.D." behind their name, that enabled them to make a difference. They make the difference, not I, but I'm right proud to have contributed to their ability to make a difference, however small my assistance might have been.
So, to NOT use one's training to make a difference, I sort of get a knee jerk reaction to that. A Ph.D., even with the tuition dollars that we pay (Northwestern is one of the most expensive schools in the U. S. but its a private school), society STILL subsidizes education heavily through tax payer money at state universities. We have an obligation to pay back. I guess that what I'm saying is that when we decided to obtain that degree, we also took the special obligation of advancing knowledge in our fields. We are, after all, competing with other nations in trying to make our country a forerunner in the advancement of knowledge for the betterment of the world. That's what science is all about, generating new knowledge and, in the greater scheme of things, what we can strive for is the advancement of knowledge in a way that will leave a "small footprint" -- contributing more to this world than the resources that we took out. That's the way that I was taught, anyway, results may vary with training at other places. I can only speak for Northwestern.
But as QuietJohn has suggested, one must not lose the sense of what a Ph.D. represents -- expertise in a specialized area. In all other ways, we remain normal human beings and members of society, with the same angst about where our country is headed, the same heartache after a romance gone sour, the same tears after our doggie dies. With the exception of knowing a lot in a given area, and the ability to create new knowledge in that area, all else about our lives is equal to anybody else.
In graduate school, I was part of a certain state's governer's task force in manpower policy, having to make frequent trips to the state capital and back. The person who always took me there (I didn't have a car) was a volunteer worker for the American Farm Workers Union. There was no difference between us except for the fact that I had been lucky enough to get training and she had graduated high school but was using her smarts to its maximum potential. We were equal because we were both trying extremely hard to give what we could to society. That's what makes a difference -- character.
Needless to say, I fell in love with her. Had it not been for extenuating circumstances, I would have been extremely proud to have called her my wife. And, I still think about her with fond memories. She was an exceptional girl. The Ph.D. played absolutely no part in the whole scheme of things. I messed up by not asking her to marry me, Who's the dumb one there? And what I'm trying to say here is that a Ph.D. matters greatly with regard to the responsibilities that we took on, and not with other areas of our lives, especially the romantic side of our lives, where science chooses to remain silent, with the exception of Dr. Ruth and the like. I mean, maybe "romance" CAN be regarded as a realm of science, but I remain skeptical of that, as I'll just as soon fall in love with a girl with a high school education who had a high regard for citizenship as anyone else. | |
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