| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:43:19 PM | | As a guy, I agree women in general set standards for the men they date based on income. All you have to do is review personal profiles for incomes they expect thier dates to make. I think we live in a material throw away society where what many people want the most(love) is clouded by greed and selfishness, thats why so many are single and remain so not settling for the nice guy. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:57:08 PM |
if a man has 1 million .. but he just spend 10000 on you .. that means you are 1% of his life .. if he has 10000 and he spend most of or all of 10000 on you .. it means you are everything to him ..
Holy crap batman, I'm not sure I read this post correctly. If a fellow spent all or most of what he had on a woman, that man is a fool and an extremely poor money manager. Not at all impressive. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:57:32 PM |
All you have to do is review personal profiles for incomes they expect their dates to make. I've done quite a few profile reviews and absolutely never remember anyone writing anything about how much someone had to make to date them. Usually people write about what they are looking for instead of what they like to do with a date that would interest someone, but ummm no salary requirement ever listed.
I had money and made more money than my ex husband when I married him. I bought my house and the cars. I don't believe any of this crap about women marrying up and men marrying down. Liz Taylor's last husband was a truck driver. Oh gosh, I could start listing women, but just don't feel like right now.
Probably shouldn't read this any more. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:13:46 PM |
Well, it's too bad you feel it's really unfair, when you sit by while your gender disparages any man who dares feel it unfair to be expected to "provide" anything material to a woman in order to "unlock the key to her heart".
So, if there are women that have those expectations then it's ok for men to now disparage all women by making assumptions just because they're women?
There was this thread 'why do women still expect men to pay' and I wrote that I like to go dutch and pay for myself. Not one man ever even acknowledged that. Everything after was still just a railing against all women who want men to pay for everything. I feel that many times men get so off on clinging to their victim role that they don't even have any interest in seeing what they think they see.
When I came to these forums a few months ago I was pretty positive, but after a couple of months here I don't even want to go on another date. It seems that men just hate women and there's nothing we can ever do right. Everything we do is being twisted around to mean something sinister. It seems that men always expect the worst from us. It's as if we're guilty until proven innocent. And I for one don't want to go through life having to constantly defend myself. I just stop interacting. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:51:03 PM | He doesn't need to make alot of money just as long as he's prepared to spend some every now and then.
I lived with the tightest person you'd ever encounter and while I understand that he was trying to pay all the bills and the house off, we lived a very boring and miserable existence because apparently we never had any money.
I don't want to go through that again. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:59:46 PM |
it is well known that all other things being equal, women are judged primarily on their beauty and men are judged by their value as a provider In your world maybe. Not everyone holds these same values. I would not find a man attractive who was lazy and didn't work and take care of and support himself. I would not find a man attractive who did not take care of/support his children. However, those things have to do with character and a sense of responsibility, not money. As far as how much a man makes, if it is about what I make, which is not a lot, that's fine, because I would want him to be able to live a similar lifestyle and so we could do things together, and I can't afford to support someone else. Mostly, I value a man for his personality and character, definitely not for his income, and I would only be interested in a man who valued me for my personality and character, not essentially for my looks. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:40:56 PM | Out of curiosity, let's say a man is receiving a disability pension. and he does self empolyment. what's your initial reaction or thought? I suppose this is addressed to the women on POF at large. My answer is my personal opinion and may or may not reflect what most women think. First off, I can say my half sister is disabled because of a serious illness; her illness has rendered her disabled and unable to work for many years. So I know and understand very well that there are people who are truly disabled and cannot work. On the other side of that, I had for while a neighbor who bragged about he and his wife living off of disability, though nieither appeared to have any disability. Some people just know how to work the system. I don't know anything about you, so my response is in general, not to you.
For me, if I met a man who was disabled, I would initially be concerned if we were compatible because I want as a partner someone who can share my active lifestyle; a big part of that means a lot of traveling, backpacking and independent traveling, not cruises or tour packages. This is a central aspect of my life, and I would not be willing to give it up. Living outside of the US is another issue for someone who is disabled due to medical coverage and insurance. However, if I lived in the States and lived a 'normal' life and wasn't extremely physically active, a man with a disability would not be a problem for me. If he is on a limited income because of that, that's not a problem either, as long as he is self supporting. Also, I assume some disabilities are not physical, but still valid as far as not being able to work. I had an online friend who was on disability because of serious mental health issues, and, in fact, despite treatment, he ended up committing suicide last winter. I think if you love someone, a disability doesn't matter. I could only love someone whose character I respected, so if he is honestly on disability, no problem. If he is working the system, no way. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:58:52 AM | There was this thread 'why do women still expect men to pay' and I wrote that I like to go dutch and pay for myself. Not one man ever even acknowledged that. Everything after was still just a railing against all women who want men to pay for everything. I feel that many times men get so off on clinging to their victim role that they don't even have any interest in seeing what they think they see.
This is simply untrue and you know it. We "jumped" on a woman that is obviously a few sandwiches short of a picnic. This had nothing to do with being a victim. I also recall agreeing with some of your posts.
I don't care how much money a man has as long as he is self sufficient and not irresponsible with it. I would also appreciate it if he was somewhat charitable.
What do you mean by "charitable"?
As for some others that say they were called gold diggers because a man had to pay for coffee...
This isn't a gold digger. A gold digger is a person who is only interested in taking you for your money and whatever else he/she can get out of you. And they do exist. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:04:10 AM | Response to message 245:
"I feel it's really unfair the way you're wording your posts as it makes us all look like gold diggers, when all we want is equality. We want the financial situation be 'neutral'. If we, as women, bring more to the table a lot of men will run away screaming, because it threatens their masculinity, because they grew up with the idea that men have to have more income and assets than women. If we bring less to the table we're called gold diggers or opportunists. So, we're dam*ed if we do and dam*ed if we don't. So, here we're trying to level the playing field to avoid being called all kinds of names by men.
Yes, I understand what your situation is. The management companies that have been brought in to act as neutral overseers rake in most of the profit and now the experienced appraisers have to do more work for less money. And it opened the door for all those new and inexperienced appraisers to suddenly get busy fulltime. Closings are falling through left and right at the present.
Have you considered that this may be a push for you to look at a different direction, instead of clinging to the business that you presently have? Many times we need to have a door slammed into our face before we even look around to see if there are other doors that we can enter. Maybe this is the time to reinvent yourself and come up with a different business model that employs your different strengths in a new way."
My response:
Hi Varina,
My intention was never to imply that women are gold diggers. From my posts one should be able to tell, however if not I just wanted to make that clear. Sure, there are some out there. I don't think any of us deny that. But the majority of people are more resonable hopefull. My curiosity in starting this thread was simply because I had been rejected by someone recently who told me that a large part of the reason was because of my financial position. So, that is that.
The comment you mentioned was mainly in response to someones hard judgement of how they filter the men the date, due to their financial situation. So, I was being somewhat sarcastic, but also asking a good question. Should men judge some women the way some of the women are judging men financially? It is a fair question, which is why I posed it. For myself, I'm looking for a woman where finacial issues are not an issue, regardless of my or her position. But, it makes for good discussion and thought.
Also, I like your suggestion of looking for other careers. It is a very difficult question, once a person has put a great deal of time, effort and money into getting to where they are, but it has become very clear that the appraisal industry is not a good one right now, so I am looking into other things.
Thank you for your contribution! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:16:03 AM | This isn't directed against the OP.... I think he's tried kinda hard to separate himself from the woman-haters posting on his thread.
So, if there are women that have those expectations then it's ok for men to now disparage all women by making assumptions just because they're women?
There was this thread 'why do women still expect men to pay' and I wrote that I like to go dutch and pay for myself. Not one man ever even acknowledged that. Everything after was still just a railing against all women who want men to pay for everything. I feel that many times men get so off on clinging to their victim role that they don't even have any interest in seeing what they think they see.
I hear ya sista. But don't despair. Frankly, I think that it's very comforting for many men to believe that the reason women don't want to date them is because they don't make enough money.
So ya'll just go on thinking that guys, if it makes you happy! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:22:42 AM | I hear ya sista. But don't despair. Frankly, I think that it's very comforting for many men to believe that the reason women don't want to date them is because they don't make enough money.
So ya'll just go on thinking that guys, if it makes you happy!
Just like it's comforting to believe that a man can't be interested in you because he's "afraid of commitment"? For the record, I've never felt that a woman wasn't interested in me due to income. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:30:39 AM |
Just like it's comforting to believe that a man can't be interested in you because he's "afraid of commitment"? For the record, I've never felt that a woman wasn't interested in me due to income.
Cool. And I agree, both men and women can be good at lying to themselves. But, I've personally never assumed that a man was uninterested in me for any reason other than that he was just uninterested...
not that that ever happens....of course... :)
But yes, there's convenient "explanations" available for both sexes. What hell it must be to be rejected if you are RICH! What's the fallback position, I wonder?
Oh wait..."She was intimidated by my wealth...she wanted to assert her independence!" Yeah, that works! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:29:46 AM | | I think the issue of money is probably a bigger problem on the internet then in general life because people tend to hang around people that are simillar to them in terms of background and work acquaintances and hobbies and the like so you end up revolving around social circles of similar people particularly with people that you have know for a long time and this tends to be the most likely source of dates as like minded people know like minded people who know like minded people. It is great the internet though because you meet people that you never would have met otherwise even if you could never have a relationship with them for whatever reason aside from financial considerations. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:15:13 AM | He needs to be hard working and ambitious (I am) but there is no exact dollar amount, he can be a starving artist or writer. He just needs to spend a certain percentage of his leisure expenses on "us" or "we" are not that important?! Does that make sense?
I would use my money for our relationship but am fearful of male golddiggers!! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:43:09 AM |
I don't care how much money a man has as long as he is self sufficient and not irresponsible with it. I would also appreciate it if he was somewhat charitable.
What do you mean by "charitable"?
I mean that he donates some of his money or his time to charity...
What did you think I meant? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:13:39 AM | I've got 14 dollars in my wallet, about thirty some cents and a wad of lint in my pocket...... ANY LADIES INTERESTED !!!!!
Skwiggie - I tried messaging you just to pay you a friendly compliment for your humor - but POF says you don't accept messages from my gender. You did specify you were interested in ladies, right? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:17:48 AM | Well, it's too bad you feel it's really unfair, when you sit by while your gender disparages any man who dares feel it unfair to be expected to "provide" anything material to a woman in order to "unlock the key to her heart". So, if there are women that have those expectations then it's ok for men to now disparage all women by making assumptions just because they're women?
Are you feeling grouped in with these women? I don't know how.
If the shoe doesn't fit, why is it giving you blisters?
There was this thread 'why do women still expect men to pay' and I wrote that I like to go dutch and pay for myself. Not one man ever even acknowledged that. Everything after was still just a railing against all women who want men to pay for everything.
You posted your position in that thread. So what?
I think it's great that you don't appear to be materialistic. But the men in that thread were asking repeatedly for a rationalization from the women who feel that it's up to a man to put forth financially while women leave their hard earned money at home.
Of course none of them can "rationalize" a clear sexist double standard, and it's them that resort to hypocritical allegations of men being "cheap".
Do you comprehend the utter hypocrisy of a female calling a man "cheap" while she's left her wallet at home?
I feel that many times men get so off on clinging to their victim role that they don't even have any interest in seeing what they think they see.
Project much?
Where exactly do you see the men posting that they've been the "victims" of anything?
It's simply men astounded at the inane rationalizations and drivel put forth by those women for being sexist and employing a double standard, and being opportunists and material driven.
When I came to these forums a few months ago I was pretty positive, but after a couple of months here I don't even want to go on another date.
That's your problem.
But whether you stop online dating, you haven't solved anything. The forums are a great place to learn where the "other" gender is coming from. You'll get a lot of truths here that you would otherwise be ignorant to.
Guys are telling you what other "women" are doing. Women are telling what "guys" are doing. That's part of the dating "climate" among singles, whether you want to be aware of it or not.
It seems that men just hate women and there's nothing we can ever do right.
Oh puhleeze...give me a break....
Everything we do is being twisted around to mean something sinister.
No, the innocent ones filter through, the sinister ones get caught.
It seems that men always expect the worst from us. It's as if we're guilty until proven innocent.
Really?
And men are not stereotyped??
And I for one don't want to go through life having to constantly defend myself. I just stop interacting.
Take your marbles and go home? Talk about a missed opportunity...
That's where you and I differ. I have no problem just being myself around people, and letting them find out for themselves.
I know lots of men are goofs, pigs, perverts, scumbags, etc.... but it doesn't stop me from dating. It actually encourages me, because I'm none of those things.
I've done quite a few profile reviews and absolutely never remember anyone writing anything about how much someone had to make to date them. Usually people write about what they are looking for instead of what they like to do with a date that would interest someone, but ummm no salary requirement ever listed.
That doesn't prove that there isn't an expectation that exists.
The fact is that there is a double standard. Whether openly admitted or not.
If a woman has a low paying job, but can afford to live in a decent dwelling, have a decent car, etc...she's considered independent, and looked favourably upon.
A man under the same circumstances can be looked upon as someone who is barely surviving, and "never going to amount to anything worthwhile", and not good "long term potential" by women.
Face it.
Traditionally, women were taught to look to marry someone "successful", meaning someone with money, if they wanted nice things.
Men were taught to look for good "homemakers", and good "mother to your children", not for the woman's earning potential.
There was an expectation for the man to "provide" material things to the woman, in exchange for being a homemaker. That was the quid pro quo.
Those gender roles have changed tremendously, however the messages of how to measure up the sexes hasn't. | |
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