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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:21:29 AM | | I have never cared about a mans income. Yes you can laugh and say yeah right. But its true. I have had millionaires chase me and extremely wealthy financially secure men. And I have never used a man in my life I have always offered to and been able to pay my own way. It meant nothing to me what their income was and if I were looking for prestige then I would of latched on to one of the wealthy guys from my past. Its not important what a mans income is as long as he can support himself and his lifestyle. And if he is generous and kind and shares his wealth with the woman he loves then that is an admirable quality. As far as a mans income goes it does not and will never define who I am as an individual. If you gauge a person for their income then you are extremely shallow to begin with and you will never make the sort of connection with a man if you judge him on the size of his wallet. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:41:20 AM |
I make my own money and what I expect is that he has a somewhat decent job to afford him independence and lives within his means.
Agree. I think that's a reasonable expectation.
Due to the economy, many men and women are struggling financially. The challenging thing for us guys is that we are expected to be the main bread winner and many of us aren't doing so well right now in the dating world because of it. So, I'm genuinely curious about women's expectations and thoughts on the subject.
Hmmm.... http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13200249.aspx
Nurse, if you do, then that's the LAST time you'll see that woman again.
And that's a bad thing how?
It's a tough question. If you were to ask any 60 year old millionaire's 25 year old wife if she was into the guy for his money you'd get many of the same answers given here.
So true.
Today's man doesn't seem to understand that there other things women are looking for such as emotional maturity, style, integrity, and knowing how to treat a woman is what counts.
It's definitely true for few men. But consider:
Today's man gets asked, as the first of few questions, "What do you do for living?", rather than, "Would you stand for something on principle?" which might be a question of integrity.
Many women have asked me "What do you do for living?" with the intentions of figuring out my income level. It's hilarious how openly and transparently they do it and often only within minutes of a conversation. Few have ever asked me, "Would you stand for something on principle?"
My observation is that emotional maturity, and more so integrity, is of little value to most women. As Kitty Fane said in the The Painted Veil:
As if a woman ever loved a man for his virtue!
To put it somewhat bluntly, the average woman will more likely like a guy for his height than his integrity or emotional maturity. Not to mention that emotionally mature guys are often seen as "emotionally unavailable". But that's a whole different topic.
Statistically (so it is a general trend that may not apply to specific individuals), women tend to partner with men who make as much as they do or more. Men, on the other hand, don't really care how much a woman earns or what assets she has, so they are much more frequently in relationships where their partner earns/has less than they do.
Yep.
There was a survey which asked successful women how much a man must make to be considered as a potential partner... the survey agreed with the stats you mentioned. My observations also agree with the stats. Women want men who make as much or more than they do.... which I think answers OP's question.
Most everyone seems to really be in agreement here, the guy needs to have enough so that he will not be a burden to the partner.
Yep. Actually it's kind of weird, but in a good way for many women are actually saying the right thing(s)... whether they believe what they are saying, or saying it because they know that is what they are expected to say, or they know it's what men want to hear, is another story, but at least many are showing the right attitude.
If a guy says that she must have enough to not be a burden then he is viewed as undateable.
It's a double standard.
Even some of the people who said money didn't matter, added caveats that turned their denial into affirmation. This really isn't about old-fashioned prejudices in either the OP, or me, that women are after money over love.
I think it's a little more complex than that, though, from a man's perspective, it appears as you just described. The guys with the money get the "honey"... from which one can derive that "honeys" are interested in guys with money, and therefore money, and therefore money over love - especially if she claims to be unhappy with such a guy yet still stays in a relationship with him.
And so I'm unlikely immediately to be interested in a guy who has a job that MAKES MONEY but doesn't say anything about HIM beyond his desire to make MONEY. So, while I'm not going to be immediately interested in a guy who works at a convenience store, I'm equally unlikely to be attracted, immediately, to a an investment banker, despite the fact that he might be a millionaire.
Okay, lets make this more interesting. Lets say you like the banker, for the person he is and not his money. Now suppose the convenience store clerk is as good a person as the banker. Who would you choose to be with?
I find it offensive that I need to break character from my normal a-hole routine to be sincere.
And the first three questions most women ask a guy are what to you do for a living, where do you live, and what kind of car do you drive? Women use this information to size you up financially, so they don't have to come right out and ask you how much money you make.
Brilliant!
You're right in that one of the first questions I ask is what a man does for a living. But it's not because of money, but because I see most American men identifying so much with their job that this tells a lot about a person. Does he like his job or is this only a means to pay his bills? Is this his dream and he made it happen? Was this a means and now it's something he genuinly likes? Does he work 80 hour weeks or 40 hours?
I think your intentions are genuine. However I've come across very few women who's intentions are like yours. Most of the questions you specify are often asked in several minutes of first conversation... which is absolutely a dead giveaway of the person's true intentions.
Besides, those questions are somewhat the wrong questions to ask to find out if a person is unhappy or stressed out - if that's what you really want to know. If you can tell whether I'm happy/unhappy or stressed/relaxed by the type of car I drive, then you know something I don't.
I think this pretty much sums it up:
I've talked to women there who immediately asked me what kind of car I drove, or where my appartment was, before getting my name.
if a man has 1 million .. but he just spend 10000 on you .. that means you are 1% of his life .. if he has 10000 and he spend most of or all of 10000 on you .. it means you are everything to him ..
The more he spends on you, the more he loves you? You just equated love with money.
Though that does explain why hookers like me.... *caught* I mean love me. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:53:37 AM | Enough money to go dutch treat for dinner on a first date.
I know Michigan economy is bad, but geez.
What if a man uses his current financial situation to try to convince a woman he would rather cook for her at his house instead meeting her for dinner in a public place on a first date even though a woman assures him of dutch treat? If a woman refuses, is she shallow? - or just smart? So when a guy says "I like to have you for dinner" maybe she's actually on the menu?
It's hard to tell if their situation is really that bad or it's just a ploy. It worries me.
How does a guy keep a relationship going like that? Never be able to take in a concert, go out to dinner, etc? I can afford to pay my own way, but I can't afford to foot the bill for another person. I'm a freelance musician and my finances allow me to live comfortably and pay my own way. I figure if I can make it, any able bodied, resourceful man can too, unless they are not managing their time well.
I had a friend whose former BF was self employed. She complained he was always broke, but he spent a majority of his time surfing porn. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:13:43 AM |
personally, if a woman was only interested in me for money, that would put me straight off her.
You are married and want to have more women, cheating on your wife. If you don't have money, what can you offer a woman? I don't think you are qualified to complain about women who look for money.
if a man has 1 million .. but he just spend 10000 on you .. that means you are 1% of his life .. if he has 10000 and he spend most of or all of 10000 on you .. it means you are everything to him ..
Did you mean the man has to spend a million on you to show he loves you 100%? How about your love to him? Does spending all his money mean you love him 100%? What a strange thought about love! If I like a man who has one million, I won't spend his one cent and will help him earn more.
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:06:58 PM | if any woman is seeking for appreciation and true love that's the mean thing in our life, it does not matter how much money you should make. otherwise that kind of women will have a failure in every single relationship
She won't be very happy being just a booty call to him either if he can't even afford to meet for dinner or coffee in a public place initially. Not a whole lot people can do together besides that if they can't go anywhere or do anything together. If I have to feel guilty and worry about causing a guy to head towards being homeless just because he splurged and had lunch with me, I can't live like that. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:22:01 PM |
if any woman is seeking for appreciation and true love that's the mean thing in our life, it does not matter how much money you should make.
How about you men? I believe there are good women and good men as well as greedy men and greedy women everywhere. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:08:43 PM | | you can want to be with a person for all kinds of reasons, money is just one of them. There is this one gal who wants to be a part of my life but I don't want her, and she's worth Moocho ! I don't like her as a person because she's all about herself and gossips too much. She's the finist looking woman you would ever meet too, but a horribly ugly person inside. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:33:31 PM | Good evening Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to PoF auctions.
The bidding for a man's annual income to keep you interested starts at $65,000.
Sixtyfivethousand, have sixtyfivethousand, do I have seventyfivethousand, I have seventyfivethousand, do I have eightyfivethousand, eightyfivethousand......... | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:26:50 PM |
Many women have asked me "What do you do for living?" with the intentions of figuring out my income level. It's hilarious how openly and transparently they do it and often only within minutes of a conversation. Few have ever asked me, "Would you stand for something on principle?"
So you think women are asking you "what do you do for a living" with the sole purpose of trying to figure out your income?? lol... wow. Has it ever dawned on you they might be asking you that question with the intentions of GETTING TO KNOW YOU BETTER?? I bet they ask you where you live also....it's all part of getting to know the other person. That's actually one of the first things men ask me also....you know, in getting to know the other person....it's kinda like...oh, what's your name? Do you live around here? Where do you work...or what do you do? It's all part of getting to know the other person. Not, "Hi, my name is _______,"would you stand for _______?"
And besides, just because someone makes a good salary, it doesn't mean they "have money"....that person could be in debt, not living within his means and living paycheck to paycheck.....whereas someone who makes less income, could quite possibly have more money because he's the opposite and does live within his means, etc. So what a person does for a living tells you just THAT.....what he does for a living. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:37:01 PM | I feel most comfortable with someone who has at least , roughly the same level of income that I do , along with not being in serious debt.
And minimally , a home, a car that runs reliably , and a source of income - and I'm good ! I don't need someone to support me - but I do want them to be able to support themselves - with preferably some left over for playtime ! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:38:14 PM | A man needs to make at least 65k a year in order for him to keep my interest.
Sounds like you'll need a bigger G String then...
And really...who do you think you're kidding? Any man with a dollar bill gets your attention for at least a few moments while ya jiggle your girlie goodies his way before your set is done... | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:16:14 PM |
The challenging thing for us guys is that we are expected to be the main bread winner
That's a sweeping generalization...times have changed...women are now in the workforce and are doing quite well...some even better then their male counterparts...I don't believe that's an expectation anymore...it's more of a team effort nowadays I would think | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:59:42 PM |
Good evening Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to PoF auctions.
The bidding for a man's annual income to keep you interested starts at $65,000.
Sixtyfivethousand, have sixtyfivethousand, do I have seventyfivethousand, I have seventyfivethousand, do I have eightyfivethousand, eightyfivethousand.........
Wouldn't it be more like a supply (or reverse) auction, and thus go in the other direction?
IOW, aren't we trying to find out the minimum amount which the guy needs to come up with? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:40:20 PM | I'd say none... sometimes guys are worse golddiggers than any woman will be (past experience)... point being if a person can't accept you for you but accept you for what you have... not worth it...
A wise woman told me once, it's not your abilities; it's your choices that make you who you are... | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:24:56 AM | It's always going to be a loaded question anyway where strict capitalism as government and culture is concerned.
If you want to dress nice it costs money. If you want your car to even be legally roadworthy it costs money. Want to be clean shaven and in good physical shape, to an extent even this costs money. Educated? Money. Professionally employed? Costs money. Style? Interests? Adventure? Travel? Social circles? Live by the beach? Money, money, money.
So when a woman talks about any of these things it brings up money. How much you've had, how much you make. It's like the default economic screening when you don't have to spell it out. Still that doesn't make it intentional or directly related to money, it may indeed be simply indirect coincidence and merely a common theme particularly among US women.
But it is true that none of the abovementioned have anything to do with character, personality or intellect, or ambitions or intentions or preferred activities, or demeanour or politics/beliefs or anything which makes an individual unique. They're just penile attachments.
And of course the attitude that one should have already accumulated these things before dating a self declared high value hottie who believes "it's all about confidence" and is actually pretty ordinary judged with a critical eye but anyway, simply does not take into consideration the fact that these things are designed to be accumulated over a lifetime and career and with the help of those around you, which is the purpose of industrialist capitalism, or how to create a workforce and reinforce a community culture.
So most of the things women want in a man actually are supposed to be obtained through the course of her relationship with him, like that saying about a good woman behind every successful man.
I think capitalist women in general, but US female dating culture in particular completely overlooks these points and is both entirely self centred and entirely simple minded.
So it's not that I don't like gold diggers, hell some of them are complete honeys and worth a dollar or two in the tin for a quickie but mostly their problem is being stupid and mean as a personality, belief and outlook, so they're bad parents, bad girlfriends, bad wives, bad friends, bad workmates, bad business partners, etc.
Whether or not they call themselves a gold digger. As if that makes any difference. "Oh look, I say I'm not stealing this candy when actually I am." Well that makes all the world of difference...not.
When I see blonde model looks dating a vagrant then I say, hey she doesn't care about money. It's like that. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:55:12 AM |
A wise woman told me once, it's not your abilities; it's your choices that make you who you are...
Yes, she is wise! When ones are young, they can choose school to get well-educated for pursuing a decent career, or they can choose dating around to get pregnant and fight for child support over 18 years. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:49:48 AM | I still need to buy candy for the little beggers
dude, trust me, you ARE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. Because YOUR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE. To consider honoring a social custom about kids ,to be as important as car repairs and rent, says much about you.
So OK this thread got going because the OP got rejected by ONE woman that cited his current financial/career situation. That's certainly not a reflection of ALL women's mindset. My guess would be, if anything, the problem is more that the OP seems to be very passive about the situation, instead of looking for other ways to replace lost income while his industry sorts itself out.
The other problem is, these days so often the way we meet available singles, we don't have any background on them, no way to gauge whether a financial setback IS a temporary situation, or whether the guy is just an also ran who lets Life run him over. And while some here claim that men give very little thought to a woman's income, a lot of men DO. They have the same concern about a woman who's experiencing economic instability,looking to see whether she's fighting to regain control,or just letting the quality of her financial life/stability deteriorate. And why shouldn't he? It's only fair.
Cindy O | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:00:59 AM | How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
The question is too abstract, and needs a frame of reference.
My question would be what a woman views as the "go/no go" barometer for a man's wages in relation to her own?
The answers would be entirely more illuminating, then.... | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:24:56 AM |
My question would be what a woman views as the "go/no go" barometer for a man's wages in relation to her own?
A man's wages in relation to my own makes little difference. I've known men who made 5 times+ more than me and not have a pot to pee in, including losing their home, because of their constant ability to self-destruct financially (over spending in order to keep up with the Joneses in combination with poor investment decisions based on the greed factor). Conversely, I've seen those who make less than me who are able to put a roof over their own heads and see to any other of their financial obligations. I'm more interested in a person who can take care of themselves financially, no matter what level of income they make and then meet in the middle with me insofar as what each of us can afford to do with each other under our own steam, without one either feeling tied down because of a lack of funds on the other's part or constantly paying the shot for the other in order to do those things. | |
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