| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:34:11 PM | Hello Aspiring_Angel,
I was actually referring to a male or female adult sharing rent with a non-parental room mate. So, we are on the same page as far as living with the parents thing. And, you may have touched somewhat on the being self-sufficient thing, but many people live below their means and share rent, including many couples. So, it may not be a good indicator of being self sufficient if a person is sharing rent with a non-parent. Just my opinion.
Thank you for your response! | |
|
| |
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:56:16 PM |
How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
As much as he thinks he needs to feel fulfilled within his own self. Besides......what a man earns or has is NONE of my business. And in return? What I make or have is none of his.........until there is a merger that requires such things to be known. And then? He can just be in charge of what is mine because I truly hate that part of relationships ~ sniveling and bickering about money.  As long as he's responsible with what's his and MINE, I'm good. (And for all of you who will say the silly things to rebute this and me, don't bother. Traditional gender role is where I reside and happily so.) So I guess the question I would ask is pretty simple: "Honey, are you OK dealing with the finances? If not, sorry...can't do it." JMO  | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:03:01 PM | Hi taal,
Sure, you make a good point. You are not looking for someone to mooch off you. While there are some that are like that, I and many people that are struggling financially right now are hopefully not in that population group.
I'm referring to someone who pays their bills and always pays for what they invite their date to do. It may not always be a full service restaurant, but somewhere clean and comfortable and paying without asking ones date to help.
This may be a good topic for another thread, but I'm not a big fan of going dutch with a romantic interest. I think it is much better to invite and pay for what you invite them to do. And, instead of going dutch, I think it works out much better if the other person offers to take care of the next time out or even alternating the planning of the date night. This has worked well with some past girlfriends.
Sure, so in conclusion, just being responsible and self-sufficient sounds like a reasonable expectation.
Thank you for your balanced response! | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:23:30 PM | I can honestly say money has never been even the remotest factor in getting or keeping me interested in a man. I'm more into sex than money, personally. And I can provide for myself ;-)
I think finances have to be kept out of relationships, too. My ex-bf and I mostly split everything (except when one wanted to treat the other..it was a reciprocal thing; not one-sided at all). My ex-husband and I kept separate checking accounts...and just split the bills down the middle, too. It just never seems to be an issue when you keep it out of the relationship..and always seems to be a huge issue when you don't. | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:33:41 PM | [Enough so that he can responsibly and prudently afford to emulate for himself, the kind of lifestyle that I can provide for myself, so that we could enjoy a compatible lifestyle together.
I had no intention of sacrificing the things I liked to do because my partner couldn’t afford to participate in them and I also had no intention of footing the bill for both of us. If that meant that a man had to have a certain level of income to keep up with that, so be it.]
Hi Babe In The Woods,
Wow! Thank you for your honest feelings. You sound very similar to many of the women I have dated. How does one become so cut and dry without much in the way of love and heart felt feelings? And, is it more about your lifestyle or being with a partner?
See, this is what I have been dealing with here in Southern California...
Thank you for your response! | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:41:05 PM | Most everyone seems to really be in agreement here, the guy needs to have enough so that he will not be a burden to the partner.
I feel the same way about any women I would welcome on my boat, she should have enough so she will not burden me.
The actual amount in individual cases can be very small or it can be a lot, it depends on way too many variables. But the ability to take care of yourself and provide something to a relationship is a factor thateveryone looks at to a degree in making the choices. If it were not so, these internet dating sites would not have categories asking amount made, occupation, do you have a car, etc. These questions are all directed helping one determine who can meet the finacial expectations. | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:48:18 PM | It's only fair. I want them "hot", they want me "rich" .... I've known this, since the day I found out different uses of my penis.
The trouble arises when poor wants hot and ugly wants rich... then things get disappointing.
Gold diggers are cool, as long as they're hot and stay hot... Though, no matter how hard they try, after a certain age....need a newer model... | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:51:37 PM | yes, I was joking about the coach handbags. (but if there is someone out there who likes doing that sort of thing....message me! )
I don't like guys who have roommates for one simple reason.... lack of privacy. Who wants to be cuddled up on the couch, maybe things are getting a little hot and heavy, and OOPS roommate comes barging in, or you walk in and the place is a mess and its blamed on the "roommate" only to find out later on, that no he really is a slob.
I have my own place, I've matured past needed a roommate, someone is the same stage in their life is IDEAL, though for the right guy I MIGHT overlook it. | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:57:53 PM | Is that a serious question? Bro, unless you're dating strippers or prostitutes, and as long as you're paying your bills and handling your business it shouldn't make any difference. If it does, or has, you've definitely been seeing the wrong women or going about this all wrong. Next one you meet try NOT lavishing them with money or gifts- just be yourself, see what happens. I mean just go on the very simplest of dates where money can't be an issue and let your charm or your sense of humor or whatever do the talking. Making a woman smile and laugh can do wonders and it doesn't cost a thing. BE the ice breaker, don't use props to create one. Just give yourself more credit than you have been. K, that's it.... you asked! lol | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:07:20 PM | ItsMargo has the only response with actual facts and figures, and they fit with what I was trying to say I've seen. Despite the large number of women declaring that it's not about money at all (other than self-supporting), neither the numbers, or the profile notes bear these statements out IN GENERAL. Even some of the people who said money didn't matter, added caveats that turned their denial into affirmation.
This really isn't about old-fashioned prejudices in either the OP, or me, that women are after money over love. This is a serious question about whether two people need to have monetary compatibility, and about WHAT THAT MEANS. It'sMargo's numbers speak!
Oh, and attention dreamcatcher39: those of us who truly suffer from it, pronounce it "LYSDEXIA." | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:09:43 PM | Most everyone seems to really be in agreement here, the guy needs to have enough so that he will not be a burden to the partner. I feel the same way about any women I would welcome on my boat, she should have enough so she will not burden me.
Statistically however more women then men live in poverty. That is changing a lot in urban areas, but it is still a reality. If a guy says that she must have enough to not be a burden then he is viewed as undateable. There are a still a lot of expectations placed on "men" to provide material or income to a relationship. If those expectations are not met then a man is rarely "dateable".
I found one other posters comments revealing and a reflection of my own experiences.
I had to live with my parents for two years not so long ago. During that entire period no woman locally would go near me because they saw me as a poor mommas boy, which was furthest from the truth. In fact I walked away from a six figure job to take care of my parents because my father had major cancer surgery. Did any woman who know this think it was noble? No. Did women openly attack me at some social functions or whisper behind my back that I was a lowlife that lives with his parents -- yeap -- constantly and often times hatefully. Did it matter that I was involved with several local volunteer agencies working to help those less fortunate in that community? Nope. As a man I was expected to fulfill a role, and because I was not seen as being able to fulfill said role I was not wanted by women. It was an eye opening and very negative experience of women kind and their lack of humanity.
I could add a dozen personal accounts here that would make people shake their head about money grubbers of both genders, but it would be pointless. Greed is everywhere, and the majority of our civilization are pre-programmed robots that have been taught to hate the poor or undateable. It is just a extension of social control that makes people fear becoming poor themselves, thus manipulating their thoughts based on those fears. Laugh if you want but this is a common view of authoritarians, and it seems too many women are susceptible to supporting the authoritarian line of thinking.
I think it comes down to the 50/50 rule. A full fifty percent of women are gold-diggers either conciously or unconciously. The other fifty percent have mixed feelings on it all. The latter are the only ones worth investing energy in. The former will eventually leave you when times are bad, or speak badly of you when you least need a kick when down. Trying to identify and avoid the first kind of woman is unfortunately not so easy, when most are sub-consciously fearful of a man without material wealth.
I think most women in general find it hard to understand how men are bashed openly in certain social situations where money is a factor, but it is very common. There is a lot of social education that women need on empathy for how others see and experience the world. But I honestly do not expect to see it improve within our lives. Perhaps the few who read these forums can educate themselves to some extent on the problem, and not be so openly rude at times about the burdens men face and are not allowed to discuss without being labelled as weak or sub-standard.
Even some of the people who said money didn't matter, added caveats that turned their denial into affirmation. This really isn't about old-fashioned prejudices in either the OP, or me, that women are after money over love.
That has been my common experience as well.
| |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:16:44 PM | haha some say .."I 'don't need your money"...yeah sure that may be possible....but its not the money itself necesarily ....its the image a women need from a man when they talk to other women....So when they talk to other women they often say..."that guy"..."my guy"...and they would rather stay away if they can't really show off....with something from a man...so indirectly if nothing else ...money matters and even if they tell won't take a cent from you.....they will in a way or another....no matter how much they make...its similar when some other men show their women as a trophy kinda...in the public in a specific way.
So if you don't have money...you need to be very popular among other women....that would buy you at least time....
I have seen so many cases of women hiding behind "their man" when they wanted that way...or coming upfront when that's what they wanted (money related or not).....thinking we the rest cannot see that and we are blind ...just because we pretend not to observe it, or not mention the double standards...Some women say "Money does not matter, but its good if he has it". So what is more important ?
1. Money does not matter ? Or
2. Its good if he has it ?
We all kinda know the answer...this is simple choice answer.
How much money ? Its hard to tell but depends how does she look like and what country you are in. Is she good looking? Well....here 6 figures is the very bottom of the line....well here meaning in N.A. ..but not on POF where are lots of just "regular" type of guys mostly...so the demand of money cannot be that high...not to mention the economical downturns.... | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:31:59 PM |
How does one become so cut and dry without much in the way of love and heart felt feelings? And, is it more about your lifestyle or being with a partner?
Why do you assume that if a person makes rational and intelligent choices about whom they decide to partner with, that there is no love or heart felt feelings in the relationship?
Lifestyle is only one compatibility factor in a relationship but it is a very important one. How many relationships disintegrate because a couple discovers that they have nothing in common outside of the bedroom and don’t enjoy spending time together in mutually agreeable pursuits?
Love and romance are definitely necessary ingredients in a successful relationship but the reality is, the majority of time in ANY relationship is going to be spent “living your lives”. If one or both is prevented or held back from living their lives the way they want, resentment will eventually tear that relationship apart. Perhaps if more people assessed ALL compatibility factors before they engaged in their relationships, there wouldn’t be so many failed relationships and so many people bemoaning that they made poor choices. | |
|
| |
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:07:38 PM | Didn't read the rest of the thread other than Opening Post.
Well, if it is to keep me interested in him intellectually, emotionally and sexually, that has to be a man who makes a good coin.
Intellectually ~ I love to travel; to go places that have beautiful architecture and there is lots of history for me to wallow in. Museums and Art Galleries are a must. Culture is big for me. He must be able to do that, to provide for that. Taking the Orient Express is a must do.
Emotionally ~ I am a sappy romantic who loves the lifestyle of wine and roses. Having a lovely Better Homes and Gardens styled home is mandatory. Driving a red Porsche Carrera GT is well.....just me. Having him take me to lovely dinners in which I partake in Chateau Mouton Rothschild with my meal and having a glass of Krug afterwards is guaranteed my appreciation of him. Also, gifts such as a watch made by Vacheron Constantin with a few diamond trinkets thrown in will put me in a wonderful mood. No bytchiness or depression from me for a long time. The adrenalin rush makes me want to go to the gym to keep myself toned and sexy looking.
Sexually ~ It goes to say that if I am happy intellectually and emotionally, then I am turned on sexually. Dress me up in your favourite fantasy, pour champagne over me and...this is not the thread for revealing my creativity. | |
|
| |
| |
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:01:57 PM |
In my experience it's whatever you happen to have, plus a dollar. The insatiable consumer that is modern womanhood cannot ever be satisfied.
See, OP, this is typical, and it's no wonder you have received the responses you have. WE women KNOW that many men consider us shallow gold-diggers, and so....
I don't usually think of men and their eligibility in terms of how much money they make, although I AM interested in what a man does for a living...because to ME that says lots about his interests, his education, his goals, his passions--it says something about HIM. And so I'm unlikely immediately to be interested in a guy who has a job that MAKES MONEY but doesn't say anything about HIM beyond his desire to make MONEY. So, while I'm not going to be immediately interested in a guy who works at a convenience store, I'm equally unlikely to be attracted, immediately, to a an investment banker, despite the fact that he might be a millionaire.
But...I do (on a surface level) have criteria: I would like for a man to be financially equipped to
1. support himself and fulfill whatever obligations he might have (especially if those involve an ex-wife and children).
2. pay his debts.
AND (and this is where men get annoyed)
3. be able to AFFORD to do the kinds of things that I like to do and want to do with a partner.....dine, travel, etc.
I don't make A LOT of money, but I also don't live a grand lifestyle, which means I'm able to do things (like travel, go to theatre, etc) that can cost money.
BUT, the thing that cracks me up about the quote I pasted in above is that I HATE conspicuous consumerism. I would rather chew my legs off than be caught dead in a HUMMER or an ostentatious sports car with some middle-aged guy PROVING himself with his stupidly expensive car...because I consider those things to be vulgar expressions of shallow materialism. I'm also not going to be turned on by a man who lives in a mansion but can't afford to take a summer trip to Europe....because his money is tied up in a ridiculous mansion....a Harley....and a HUMMER.
So, while some might think I'm being money-conscious, in reality my concerns have little to do with what a man MAKES (because you CAN do what I like with a pretty modest income), and EVERYTHING to do with HOW a man chooses to spend his money. For example, I'm thinking of a guy who I dated briefly, who lives a GRAND lifestyle (his house is, IMO, embarrassing in its vulgar ostentation)....but he never DOES anything remotely interesting.....he just spends a lot of time being proud of his house. Thus....HE is not remotely interesting. | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:08:44 PM | | If either is expecting the other to be financially supportive, it's doomed for failure. I don't mind supporting the other if it gets to that point, but I don't think either should go into a relationship with that in mind. Money should not be a relationship issue early on especially.... | |
|
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:19:50 PM | | I know most people say money doesn't matter, but it does to some degree. I don't mind paying for things like movies, dinner etc. sometimes...but I need a guy who can afford to return the favour. There's not much to do that's free or cheap these days. Staying at home with movies all the time can get dull. I don't expect expensive gifts, but I do expect *something* on my birthday, christmas, an anniversary or something. Ultimately I wish I could marry rich so I could be the stay at home mom/wife type but I know realisticly that aint gonna happen, lol. | |
|
| |
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:03:46 AM | | I knew someone very well who was miserable-she was married to a millionaire. At that time, she was jealous of me who was dating someone of much more modest means, but, we had love, and she knew what I was getting in that relationship was worth so much more than what just money could buy. Now that I'm single, I don't think money itself is 'evil' having seen the contrast, but, I keep everything in perspective too. | |
|
~Kyn~
|
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 99 | |
| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:13:05 AM | For you personally as a woman, how much money does a man need to make to keep you romantically interested in him?
A kajillion bazillion dollars.  Maybe more!
Ya know OP... cant say Ive ever based a romantic relationship on how much a man earns.
Never even thought about it. I might ask a man what he does for a living... but thats only general conversation... Im not mentally running his income level in my head.
Besides... its not that difficult a situation to change in a relationship for either person. Not earning enough money?
Economise and get a better paying job. Ive never had a problem with it in a relationship.
My experience has been that if I am unable to afford a certain level of dating entertainment then they have lost interest and the relationship was over.
Are you absolutely sure thats what it is?
If you're "selling" yourself like that... you're going to attract women that are attracted to money and not you.
I read a thread once where the guy was whining that women were attracted to his Rolex and I said well unless you deliberately wave the damn thing in their face or mention it to them... they aint gonna know about it.
Looks like any freakin watch to me... could say Happy Meal on it for all I know... and even if I noticed it said Rolex... Im not likely to be thinking its a real one and wouldnt care if it was.
Are you sure that its not because when you cant afford to date a lady under the circumstances YOU like to date... you're not asking them out so they lose interest because of that?
Or maybe you're so impressed by money that anyone that gives you the impression they've more than you... you're likely to let your competitive streak kick in and feel like you dont have enough? Men are silly like that.
A woman who's reallllllllllly interested in you will want to spend time with you regardless of what "level" of dating entertainment you're providing.
I like going to the movies, dinner, shows just like most people do but I dont need to do it all the time.
Id be just as happy if a guy said to me... "Ive got a full tank of fuel in the bike... I'll pick you up on the way and we'll check out some markets"
A little trinket to remember the day while we were there would be lovely and I'll make us a picnic
Its the time you spend together and having fun. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
