| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:35:43 PM | Sinlov,
You`re right on all points excluding her personal finances.She`s does very well in her chosen profession.
This time rather than care about her needs and wishes, i`going on my "gut" feelings.Emotionally,it`s would easier to give in and try to rekindle a love we once shared,but in reality she took my love and feelings and tossed it away in hopes of finding someone better.Her loss my gain in not wasting any time in chasing after her...That was very hard too do..I`m not going to subject myself to her BS...
I`m don`t want a F-buddy,i guess she was a long term F-Buddy only i never knew it..
Thank You.
Its Margo,
In our texts we`re just talking about the kids, the friends,current events,business, not really talking about weekend plans.. I told her I`m not ready to just resume, she`s willing to wait her words not mine.I`m really not ready to resume,i`ve moved on.I`m here at pof.com to meet someone not rehash my old days with a person who broke up and decided Mr. Right was Mr. Wrong! | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:55:06 PM |
That ended when she started telling me she fell out of love,and wanted to see another man who she was attracted too.It was her belief this man was "Mr. Right"...
One ex girlfriend a long while back dumped me for her "Mr. Right"... I felt bad about it until a while ago when I saw he had put up a profile on POF... I laughed my ass off.
That being said, I can laugh, because I don't care.... I'm happy and in a relationship with someone else who I was split up with for over a year. She and I split over a few reasons, but the biggest was her kids... We remained in contact, and different guys came and went in her life... We got back together... her kids had moved out and we're happier and stronger than we've ever been.... some people say you can't go back to an Ex, but so far I guess we're the exception to the 'rule'.... it can happen... but it does take a lot of work.... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:55:36 PM | Hey OP,
If you got back together with her, What’s to say she wont do it again once she gets comfortable with you again? Can you truly trust her again? If you can, I wish you all the best. However I would not recommend it.
Don't let her carry you around on a string and allow yourself to miss the opportunity to meet that special woman that is right for you.
I wish you well. | |
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| EX-GF callls after 14 months.She wants to now be friends again!
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:00:07 PM |
I guess she regrets what happened between us..
This actually puts you in a good position. If you keep your smarts and your emotions under control. You can be the one in control, and pull the strings initially. You can allow yourself to get only as 'deep' as you want.... If you want to go further, you can do so, or move on as you please....
He offered her a nice weekend get away condo down in the Keys which they went to often.
This is another issue you will have to consider... How will you feel getting back with someone who has slept with another guy since you were with her....? Having been through this I can tell you that it can be an issue... and can take a lot to work through.... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:12:45 PM |
That was very hard too do..I`m not going to subject myself to her BS...
It all sounds good but can you?
As long as you can keep texting her I guess you might be fine.
Or keeping the fire well lit.
Must keep your distance.
and not be caught in the dark or light with her
with your pants around your ankles.
Good Luck with that! | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:37:38 PM | She may well be interested in a booty call. If you are okay with that, great. If that's not what she wants, if she really wants to be friends, you've gotta decide if you want to do that. The important thing is this: it is not incumbant upon you to prove you are an adult by making nice with someone who hurt you. It just isn't. She dumped you. Anything you give her now, she should cosider a gift.
What you absolutely should NOT do is date her again. Ever. She's proven what she's capable of, that she's fickle. If she dumped you once, chances are good she'll do so again. Don't give her the chance. | |
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| EX-GF callls after 14 months.She wants to now be friends again!
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:51:22 PM | Lusting,
Of course i realized after the fact what went wrong.
This time i`m not doing anything. She has to show me how much she wants me back in her life... That being mentioned I`m still not sure what i`ll do...
Not sure by your answer if you really believe "it was all her fault" like everyone else here thinks and takes your side. Attraction beats commitment, that's the lesson you should get out of this. Sure, she may show you how much she wants you, you have the upper hand... for now. But what do you think that will happen if you get back together and you start being all "nice" and non challenging again ? I realize you may feel too old to bother with this stuff and you may need someone that will give you a carte blanche in commitment without you having to put any effort for keeping her attracted. There are many low maintenance, unconditional commitment, average women around if that's what you want. She's not one of them. | |
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TRV97L
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Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 60 | |
| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:03:56 PM | You are asking for people's help here, but it seems like you have made up your mind already, the heart wants what it wants...
I have been told by many people (who have been blissfully married for 10+years) that true love is easy, you never question it, never, you just know that it is what it is, the end. If you are questioning it now, is that a good thing, do ya think?
In my opinion, you are making a huge mistake. She wants to know that you will still be around to pick up the pieces when she needs you.
What part of she "fell out of love"with you don't you quite grasp?
It is a slippery slope that you are heading out on to.... You never know when another Mr. Right might come along and become her focus again.
Good luck to you | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:24:57 PM |
If you are questioning it now, is that a good thing, do ya think?
In my opinion, you are making a huge mistake. She wants to know that you will still be around to pick up the pieces when she needs you.
What part of she "fell out of love"with you don't you quite grasp?
op, I'm not here to take sides in this issue as you feel what you had with her is as good as it gets. That maybe true in your eyes but a true blue relationship is much more then that.
And reading some of the posts here tell that in black and white.
Imo, these gray areas some think is love, or being in love is just lets say 1/4 of the pie.
There are many folks who fall head over heels all the time in love they think yet for many when the bubble breaks many of their their friends knew before hand that you were getting the short end of stick, yet you still plodded along nonetheless to recieve the fall.
And I do know how some can use their beauty to keep them coming and if that's the case I say let her get some real big girl shoes next time if she's open to that.
My guess there's a sucker born every minute myself included.
Now you just have to figure out what's your real place in this relationship.
Good luck | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:37:47 PM | Well OP, I have a suggestion. I do not want to offend...
Imagine her to be 300 pounds or more and very very ugly, would you still "love" her and want to be with her when she called you after 14 months?
Only you know the answer...
I mean, isn't love blind?
I find it funny that she told you she met Mr. Right just because he could take her to his cottage in the South Keys...
So, she was dating up ?...
Wonders... would she have stayed with you if you had MORE money than this Mr. Right?
From my perspective, you snooze you lose... Seriously...
Hops off the soap box.
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:57:13 PM | Aw hell, let's make this simple:
Are you seeing anyone else? If no ...
When's the last time your heart skipped a beat or had your toes curled? If it's been a while (and this is the big question)...
If you were to have several or even one memorable date with this women only to have her walk again--would you be better or worse for it? If the answer is better--than put on your dancing shoes, man, and let her woo you back--hard! Life it too short!
Of course, if you're dating someone else or sure to be the worse for it-- you know what not to do now dontcha? | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:08:30 PM | Well, here goes. I decided i had nothing to lose by going out for dinner and drinks with her this evening.
We met at a restaurant at Hollywood Beach.
I looked at our date as if i was on a first date expecting nothing but after 5 minutes we both knew there was definitely chemistry between us once again.
We spent 5 hours together talking, laughing and walking the Hollywood Boardwalk together.
Mr. Right did her wrong by not being everything she thought he was.
She felt badly about the way our relationship ended.
When we bumped into each other 3 months ago,she felt that spark for me and had been thinking about us getting back ever since.She claims the reason she ended it with "Right" was because he could`t do what her and I did together.
The animal attraction a man and a woman have during those special moments never occurred with him.
She missed those times where we would spend an entire weekend staying in bed, laughing, dancing and fooling around like we were teenagers.Mondays were always tough on the both of us...She would call me during lunch moaning and groaning how much she hated what we did and at the same time tell me how much she loved me...Yes, it was always fun being with her.
The both of us couldn`t stop laughing..
The are trust issue s which still linger and hurt.I`m not looking for a relationship where it`s fatal attraction.i told her that. Whether we can fully get back together is another story and will take a lot of work for each of us.
I`m going to take this one day at a time and see what happens. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:23:53 PM |
First, let's cut to the chase.
Are you still sexually interested in her? I mean, if she does the seductive moves that you remember ~.
If she gets you into bed, you are back on the the same road as before. Are you ready for it?
I told myself that you would have to walk this road again. I have seen men do this over and over. Your sentence:
She missed those times where we would spend an entire weekend staying in bed, laughing, dancing and fooling around like we were teenagers
Is predictable. She deliberately let you wallow in sexual memories. Old trick. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:10:42 AM | Sink her boat and swim for it!!
Yarrrrrh!!!!
She be sinking all yer hopes and dreams!! Man!!
Run for the highest hills!!!
She'll burn ya out of house and home!!!!
For all intents and purposes. This basically means you should stay away from her. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:26:36 AM | very hard when the ex who dumped you for another proposes the friends scenario. Actually, sice you're the dumpee, that is YOUR call to propose it (not hers)-.Dumpers assuage their guilt, your right to be upset by throwing you the 'friend' carrot-even tho they summarily ended your friendship by violating your trust (how convenient for her). You could counter propose that she could be numero uno in your betrayer book-that's more honest and realistic | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 3:09:50 AM | Morning Belle,
I think i already answered the sexually interested question. I haven`t walked any road yet!
That being mentioned am a grown man. If i make the same mistake and fall for the same trap than i guess i have nobody else to blame for my sealed faith and obvious weakness for this person.
Last night our conversation wasn`t solely based on "Old times in bed"... We discussed the kids, our feelings towards one another and yes, our personal time spent alone with each other...
I don`t consider myself stupid, nor will I allow her to ever get back into old habits ...
Although 14 months has elapsed,seeing her yesterday did pike my interests once again.
I don`t have to explain "Chemistry" to anyone over the age of 18. There are many different forms of it.In her case she has that "something" that drives this man crazy.I will not deny how she makes me feel, nor will i lie to myself what she might be capable of doing since she`s done it before. My eyes aren`t shut! I`m very much aware of her and what she can do...
I`m taking it very slow and made it very clear there will be no commitment or anything else for a while.
Her decision to call me and my decision to go out with her doesn`t constitute anything.
Whether she`s tricking me or playing me as you`ve mentioned, well i guess time will tell...
Wiyan,
I`m not proposing anything. She has to prove to me that am "Mr. Her World" before I consider anything from her. When first met we both knew there was that feeling. The feeling is very hard to mask as you know. Yesterday, the feeling appeared again for each of us. It`s something you both know is there and can`t hide. Heck, i`m not perfect. I went through my "mid-life crisis" five years ago, she`s at a place in her head where i once was.She`s a 40 year old woman, who`s ex left her with two girls to raise by herself. She`s a Type -A personality who knows how to handle herself and does very well in a "man`s world", she`s not helpless,she`s independent and so am I....She`s a fiery woman,most latinas are.She is by no means a wall flower. We all make mistakes. I think she`s regained her sanity and wants to be with me for all the same reasons i would like to be with her.
Am is supposed to believe a Mid-Life crisis doesn`t happen for a women and only a man suffers from them? Thats very interesting... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 3:23:16 AM | What I think you have to decide is whether you're interested in rekindling this. She thought she could "trade up" and it didn't work out. How do you feel about being the "backup guy" ?
And isn't there the inevitable concern that she'll do the same thing again? | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:25:51 AM | Marc,
Maybe i`m in denial but i`m not any ones "backup guy".... never have or will be. I`m my own man, capable of dealing with all kinds of feelings and issues.In this case, it`s about dealing with a woman who`s company i once enjoyed.
I`m not in the "forgive and forget mode" with this person. She has to convince me this is what she really wants without the BS or drama.
I gave her no promises last night, explained i`m dating and have moved on.. There are no games or ponderous babble coming from either one of us...
What i do find rather odd is that not one women has yet admitted that maybe their ex spouse or BF has begged them to "take them back" I`m positive many have been in similar situations and have taken their man back. Yet, some attack this woman for thinking it might be OK to get back together.
I`m sure there are plenty of guys and gals who have been reading this thread who have been in the same situation,yet refuse to come forth and be somewhat truthful..
Than again, why should they? | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:31:40 AM | What i do find rather odd is that not one women has yet admitted that maybe their ex spouse or BF has begged them to "take them back"
oh, several! i've got one of them trying it now, as a matter of fact.
"staying friends" is one thing, but for me, taking an ex back has all the appeal
of putting on a pair of dirty underwear from last week. gah!
I`m positive many have been in similar situations and have taken their man back.
they were fools. we hear about it on the forums.
Yet, some attack this woman for thinking it might be OK to get back together.
"might be" is the operative phrase. as in.... it "might be" possible for leopards to change their spots and for turkeys to fly IFR to the bahamas for the winter. it's a nice theory that doesn't usually play out in reality.
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edit for scd #75 below....
Mo-Town,
So a person who takes back ones lover is a fool? In reality it never works is it because the chemistry is gone or is it a trust issue?
In the case of your "staying friends" i take it there is no chemistry left inside of you to reconsider this man`s request?
TIA...
oh yeah the chemistry is still there, but chemistry isn't everything, ya know. because for one thing, the personal things that were an issue during our relationship, are still a core part of his personality. meanwhile, i have moved on. while i'm not perfect by any means, what i can say -- unequivocably -- is that i no longer have that particular issue or 2 that i was packing at the time... i learned something... he didn't.
now it's up to you to determine to what extent that is the case or not for you and the ex GF. without knowing anything about the situation, the odds are in my favor that she hasn't learned a thing. and i'm questioning whether you have. that means, when you 2 get back together, the major personality issue (hers... since she is the one who took the initiative to leave) that broke you up is still going to be there. are you going to sit there and tell us that you wouldn't rather rip out your eyeballs with corkscrews, than to go back to that mess? | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:43:42 AM |
[In this case, it`s about dealing with a woman who`s company i once enjoyed.
I`m not in the "forgive and forget mode" with this person. She has to convince me this is what she really wants without the BS or drama.
I gave her no promises last night, explained i`m dating and have moved on.. There are no games or ponderous babble coming from either one of us.. Santa Luciaaaaaa, you're lying to yourself Sport, read your entire posting on here, what you're looking for justification on why you met up with the ex, you can sugar coat it all you want , the bottom line is you're still in love with this woman.
Nothing wrong with that, but please do not insult some of our intelligence by saying You know what you're doing and told her she has to prove this and that before you get back together or people are heartless for not taking back their ex's who are asking for forgiveness blah blah blah.
If this woman was a plain average looking woman, you would of kicked her to the curb the moment she said called you saying she made a mistake.
Taking a poll asking who forgave their ex and took them back is as useless as a baked potato with nothing on it.
Most people gave you their opinions and you didn't like it, because they are seeing it for what it is, you're looking at the situation while still emotionally involved, how can you make a decision based on that?
Every situation is different, but you're naive or thinking with the wrong head, she leaves you for another guy, she says " sorry bud I dont love you" even though you claim you had the awesome chemistry( still shaking my head on that one) you gave her love and did everything for her and she still walked out and now she wants you back because the other guy who had money and did something most likely he kicked her to the curb and now she's running back to the guy who is welcoming her back with open arms? does that sound logical to you? But she's gorgeous right so its makes it ok.
Good luck to you. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:48:54 AM | Mo-Town,
So a person who takes back ones lover is a fool? In reality it never works is it because the chemistry is gone or is it a trust issue?
In the case of your "staying friends" i take it there is no chemistry left inside of you to reconsider this man`s request?
TIA... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:57:32 AM | The only reason she wants you back now is that the other guy didn't work out. She totally blew it with you. Are you really a glutton for punishment? Do you want to be her "in-between" boyfriend until she (1) makes up with the other guy or (2) is attracted to yet someone else and wants to pursue him?
What if she's using you to make her "ex" jealous?
Dude, I wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:02:49 AM |
Well, here goes. I decided i had nothing to lose by going out for dinner and drinks with her this evening.
We met at a restaurant at Hollywood Beach.
I looked at our date as if i was on a first date expecting nothing but after 5 minutes we both knew there was definitely chemistry between us once again.
We spent 5 hours together talking, laughing and walking the Hollywood Boardwalk together.
Mr. Right did her wrong by not being everything she thought he was.
Really? Mr. Right did her wrong by not being everything she thought he was? You mean the grass wasn't greener after all? Well, Karma is a ****, isn't she?
See you in the Broken Hearts forum in a few weeks/months! | |
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