| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:04:16 AM | M-Rush,
Good Morning.
That's not entirely true. We`re not taking any CNN polls or re-inventing the mashed potatoe.
I broke up with her once she played the "Breakup -Bomb" on me. I fully heard her loud and clear when she bought in the words "Fallen out of love" 14 months ago and haven`t forgotten what she said ever since.
Like you mentioned "If this woman was a plain average looking woman, you would of kicked her to the curb the moment she said called you saying she made a mistake."
She`s not and that's a major problem for me... She`s keeps herself looking very young, enjoys staying physically fit..
Too be more open and honest with you she was one of the best "workout partners" I have ever had when we went to the gym 5x`s a week. We really pushed each other during those times.Not debating or singing the blues... Nor do i hope i`m being argumentative.
Hey, have a great weekend. I hope you and that special someone in your life have something great planed this weekend..
Enjoy my friend... :) | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:18:40 AM | Approach with caution given your history with this woman. If you're incline to meet w/her then you're incline to explore the possibility of rekindling the relationship. You're vulnerable towards her ~ so make sure you're in tune with both sides of your brain. Who knows ~ maybe her desire to jump ship 14 months ago had everything to do with the present moment... in a good way. Move forward in good conscience (i.e. no resentment), with a genuine and sincere interest.  | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:29:02 AM |
So a person who takes back ones lover is a fool?
No... not a fool... just be cautious... that being said, it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out this time either.... have fun... go for it....
It's very possible that she learned she made a big mistake by breaking up with you in the past... Anyone can make a mistake. The smart ones try to correct it and learn from it and never make the same mistake twice....
When my G/F and I got back together, a few people thiught it was a mistake to do so...now they're happy for us that we did.... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:35:03 AM | I've been there too..
They're ex's for a reason.
If it works out for you, great.
But I would have to wonder about why you would put yourself in this position.
You asked a question and many people of the same opinion gave you valid reasons not to go there...what about your family and close friends? I would bet they all said the same thing and that is why you asked a forum hoping for validation for what you wanted from the begining. Regardless of the picture you painted of her, she dumped you for someone else. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:50:38 AM | Soat,
Maybe i need to make this clear.
I`m not in the forgiving mode with her yet.... We`re simply talking right now. We haven`t spoken to each other in 14 months so it was more of a "Feeling each other out stage".. It wasn`t a booty callas someone mentioned...
This isn`t about validation it`s more about attempting having a new beginning and actually seeing if there are still feelings towards one another.Her feelings and mine are at two different levels right now.
We`re both adults and i`m a big boy who`s been around the block more than once. So has she..
I do THANK everyone who has given an opinion and truly appreciate each and everyone`s thoughts on this matter.
Right, wrong or indifferent the lines of communication are now open for discussion with each other and we`re going to take it one day at a time. | |
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PiggyT
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Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 83 | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 6:03:49 AM | | i think it is important to make sure you have a serious discussion about why the relationship ended last time as there must have been a reason her eye was wandering. You need to find out what she wants and whether you can provide it and vice versa. There needs to be a commitment from both of you to make it work and that can only occur if you both state what you want and what needs to change for it to work and whether your both prepared to do that to make it work, if that can't happen then you both need to move on. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 7:12:30 AM |
I do THANK everyone who has given an opinion and truly appreciate each and everyone`s thoughts on this matter.
Right, wrong or indifferent the lines of communication are now open for discussion with each other and we`re going to take it one day at a time.
op, take you time the next time around cuz you don't want to suffocate her with your feelings. You come across to me at times your into that"White Knight Syndrome"
There are many people who do that to save and in reality it's them that needs to be saved.
And in the relationship is one is going overboard to help, and in the same token, their resenting that their [aka love] is not being appreciated.
Sound familiar out there in the "Fora-land"??
Good luck! | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 7:24:29 AM | You come across to me at times your into that"White Knight Syndrome"
There are many people who do that to save and in reality it's them that needs to be saved.
And once again it my man Jim who states the clear truth.
When will the White Knights realize that the only one who can save anyone is themselves.
I don't care how good looking she is, and until you learn that, you will be with the SAME woman OVER and OVER again. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 7:58:19 AM | I wouldn't do it. She dropped you like a rock and now she realizes she was wrong?
Choices:
1) Start seeing her again and think with your heart and not your head. Run the risk of getting burned even worse this time.
2) Think with your "other " head and end up in the sack with her. It would feel great and some guys can do it-I just know I couldn't.
3) Just say 'no thanks' and go about your life. No risk here, but also no reward. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:01:43 AM | OP I'm scared that in a month you'll be back on here with a thread called "What did I do wrong and why did she dump me again?"
I'm sorry to sound cold but I really think you need to let this woman go and get her out of your system once and for all. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:08:30 AM | | Mmmmm...my opinion on this...well if she truly just wants to be friends and just platonic friends...I would say yes...why not...go out and have fun...and forget about the past...but if you still feel something for her although it has been 14 months ago...I would say NO... | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:25:56 AM | RUN as fast as you can THE OTHER way
she is calling for 2 reason that are almost the same
a) she is bored/lonely and decided to find something entertaining to play with (i.e. you)
b)she got dumped her ego took a bashing and she needs someone to adore her
Ether way its not because she is into you she just wants someone who is into her
Watch that move "He is just not that into you" its a classic scenario | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:33:02 AM | I believe that she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. She obviously wants to be with this other man but yet wants you in the sidelines. Perhaps in case something goes wrong with her current relationship? I'd really consider this carefully. If you care for her as much as you say you did/do, then go for it. Otherwise, I think the best approach is just to let her go.
Best wishes! | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 9:27:03 AM |
Well, here goes. I decided i had nothing to lose by going out for dinner and drinks with her this evening.
I`m going to take this one day at a time and see what happens.
Props man, that's good news. Ignore the desperate housewives and the ego pumping zealots here, learn from your mistakes and have a round #2 with that woman. It's up to you, and you alone, to prevent her from "falling out of love" again. Commitment needs effort, it's not a carte blanche and an excuse to become a boring fat slob without having to worry of losing her. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 9:34:40 AM | | This is like doing the exact same thing over and over again and trying to get different results. If you can handle being Mr. Right Now, only to be replaced by Mr. Right within the near furture, then go for it. But I really feel you should just cut ties with this girl and let her now that you will not be playing the "fall guy" again. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 10:50:37 AM | In one word.......RUN.
It would appear in this world of ''throw away'' and get a better one, it applies to the dating scene as well......
This gal is unstable, always looking for better......shallow.......who needs friends like that.
I'm certain this invite is just a ploy to get a foot in the door sorta speaking, don't allow it.
People like this end up old and alone. | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:17:56 AM | I won't be one to tell the OP to automatically run in the other direction. Only he can decide how much he can take from this woman before he has had his fill of her. She has shown her true nature from the way he described how she callously discarded him previously, and if she lures him in and then tosses him away again, well, it'll be on his head. But if he approaches it from a risk vs. reward standpoint, and sees more of an upside while still going into this with his eyes fully open, who is to say its wrong?
We all know people come here posting topics like this, asking to be talked out of it but knowing in all likelihood there going to give in to the temptation regardless. Its his call, and his pain to endure if she treats him poorly again. Who knows, maybe he'll prove the exception to the rule. I say good luck to him! | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 1:31:37 PM | Most posts would be 'right-on' if the OP was 20's, maybe even in his 30's.
My work requires observing things "as they are", not as ideal or 'perfect'.
The OP is in his mid-40's. He writes as if he were a love-struck teenage girl!
He's smitten. He knows it, he admits it. Sleeping alone with your pride is no fun.
However you judge this woman, you're not 'better' than she - and lonely without her!
OP, if you where her - you'd have done exactly as she did - it's a fact.
You're not in the driver's seat. With her, you may never be - unless she allows it.
Keep your thumb extended and hope she picks you up!  | |
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:45:02 PM | Geez... Einstein WAS right...
The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and over again and expect different results.
Well, whatever floats your boat.
If I were a man,... wait... as a woman I actually did this... I would go for the sex and date other women and put her on your bootie call list...
I mean... I sure hope you are dating other women and NOT waiting and aching to see her again ... Dude... wake the f**k up... Seriously...
Think about it... if the situation was reversed, would you go crawling to the safe and predictable girl after being on a burn out with a relashionship that fizzled quickly like a fire cracker...
Do not delude yourself... She went for the other dude because, as you stated, he had more money than you...
Geez, I hate to say this, but get some self esteem and grow a pair.
I keep having this other thought. Do you have this nagging thought at the back of your head that you simply CANNOT attract an other woman as pretty as her.
If so, you are treating her like arm candy and if so, well, you two deserve each other.
I give up...
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| What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:49:31 PM | Best of Luck, that's all I am sayin'. Better to have love and lost
I could tell when it was written. You didn't arrive at the page
were people forgive and forget. You said you weren't in the forgiving stage
I think that started to when you picked up the phone and text,
Who knows maybe you're planning an attack, something along the lines of gotcha
right back.
You can look into her eyes and hope to see if shes cheating
When she's away no doubt you'll wonder what she is doing.
It reminds me of Nicolas Cage and Meg Ryan, City of Angels
Just remember Romance, sometimes are tragedies,
Good Luck with this one. | |
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