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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/27/2009 5:27:04 AM | Hi all, great that I'm getting so much feedback-I really appreciate all of the suggestions and advice- I love the idea of group defence- ie. a number of children all standing up as one against the problem.
Just to clarify - my son has just turned five, and a lot of his classmates are four. It is a reception class, very first year at school , and they're all still very much finding their feet, so I don't know that they can work as a unit just yet.
The latest, and most troubling incident has happened since I last posted- on Friday I picked my son up from school and he told me that the child who has been giving him problems, said to him that he was going to bring a sarp knife into school and cut his neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously I'm furious, and told the teacher straight away, but now I'm at a loss. I'm meeting the head tomorrow, any advice please?? | |
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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/27/2009 6:52:06 PM | Yeah.. call the gendarmes, the bobbys.. the cops and file a report tonight. Verify with your son that it's the truth, and then report it.
It's a physically violent, life-threatening threat. Dont treat it lightly at all.
Call the police BEFORE you see the headmaster tomorrow. Protect your son even if it's at the cost of this little buggers homelife. | |
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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:02:41 PM | The chances that the little bully will follow through aren't high but when it comes to my child, any risk is too much of a risk. I think the little boy needs to be searched and the parents called in to discuss this issue with the headmaster. There have been cases of young children (rare but true) actually killing other children. I don't think they have the mental capacity to truly understand their actions but that doesn't prevent them from acting out something they may have seen at home or on the tele or on a video game.
As a parent, I would take such a threat to my child's physical safety very seriously. I would call the police and file a report BEFORE I spoke with the headmaster.
It sounds to me like this little boy is in need of intervention with his conduct and if he does not get it soon, it will likely get much worse. There is such a feeling that kids do/say things and making a mountain out of a molehill is not the right approach. I totally disagree....when it is appropriate to teach a child right from wrong. If a 5 year old doesn't have a grasp of what is right/wrong there is a BIG problem......
As a parent, I would be absolutely horrified if my child threatened another child in this manner. It is not something I would as a parent ever take lightly.
~wonder if this young boy like to torture small animals.....~ | |
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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:08:18 AM |
I'm meeting the head tomorrow, any advice please??
Here in the states, there is a ZERO tolerance policy for bullying & threats of bodily harm. Threatening to cut someone's neck is pretty serious for any student, let alone a 4 year old and I'd try to be damn sure that your son isn't exaggerating the situation in any way - as kids tend to do. It just doesn't make sense that by your own admission, your son is the oldest and biggest kid in the class yet, HE is being picked on by an alleged bully. I mean, bullies generally seek out "weaker" victims who would pose less of a physical threat should they be opposed.
IF what you son says is true and the other boy has made such threats, then I'd DEMAND action in the way of suspension or expulsion, as well as a psychological evaluation of the child and his parents/guardians. Again, these are very serious accusations so, just be sure that they are indeed, founded and not exaggeration on your son's part. | |
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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:18:42 AM | I did not read all the post's so if this was already said then I am sorry.
Here is what I do with my daughter, the same way me and her father were raised and it worked for us growing up so couldnt be that bad.
I know with myself I was always taught the 3 warning rule, rule 1. should you get threatened by another child you take it to the teacher, rule 2. should it still happen you take it to the principal, rule 3. should it still happen then you tell the other child to bring it on BUT always remember you dont through the first punch you let them do it, but by telling them to bring it on is showing a) that you are not scared of them and b) that either they are all full of crap OR they really mean it. And you never show that you are scared of someone because that is what makes them come after you again.
Now keep in mind though that well your child is doing this, the parent/'s have a job to do as well. a) listen to your child and what tehy are saying, and teach them a way to stand up for themself in a polite way. B) YOU go and see the teacher/principal/parent and then if rule B does not work, then rule c) YOU speak to the child and do what ever needs to be done to make it stop.
I remember being in grade 2 and my so called friend at the time, her sister was in grade 6 and she use to come and beat me up every day until my mother told me to fight back, and then we would fight eachother every day and that got sensless because she knew she would always win because she was much bigger then me. My mother did the whole talking with the adult thing and it got no where so my mother when and informed this girl that a) she left me alone from now on or B) my mother would pay someone the same age as her and just as big as her to kick her butt everyday on the way home from school lol | |
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| Nasty children- how to overcome?
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:29:17 AM | Geordiebabe - my son was a summer born reception lad. Looking out for each other is a general lesson I think all kids should learn at this age, along with sharing their toys etc. You couch it general the terms of tell a grown up if one of your friends falls over in the playground and hurts themselves, share toys, speak up if someone is mean to your friends.
They are never too young to learn how to function as a team to ensure their saftey!!!! Boys actually do better at this at a young age than girls do for some reason. Working as a pack suits lads lol!
I'd never have suggested they sit on a kid - that was all my lads own idea. BUT I had told him that he and his friends had more power as a group to stand up and say "this is wrong" than they'd ever manage as individuals.
IF your school doesn't take this seriously and sort this lad pronto out so that your child feels safe then I beg you to place him somewhere that will. Don't be scared to change his school and tell the education authority exactly why you wish to do so.
4 is too young to be traumatised and the long term consequences of hating school from such a young age could wreck your child's educational chances and social development before he's even had a chance to really get going. Remember the bottom line is if you don't speak up for your little one - noone else will bother!
For US readers - UK schools vary massively in ethos and their policies towards bullying - a lot depends on the individual head teacher. | |
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