| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:23:37 PM | IT takes two to work at a marriage , just as it takes two to fail at the marriage....
Why do you think 90% of women call for divorce? Seems most of it is abuse, cheating or something else. People usually don't get divorced just because.
Don't want a divorce, don't beat her, don't control her, and don't frakking cheat....
And to the one who made the drug comment, there are those kinds worldwide, so its not just one place. why oh why do people like to generalize. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:26:35 PM | Statistics are only as good as the sampled used and who funded the research. I find irony when someone with emotional thinking uses statistics to validate their narrow view of society. Statistics on the creation of society problems are not fact.
If my ex had custody of our kids and was abusing them, I'd fight to the death (literally) to protect our kids. I wouldn't be in a dating forum looking for pity and justifications. That is a fact.
As a mother, the types of negative stereotypes projected in this forum have little bearing on me. But it's unconscionable to remain silent when children from single mother lead homes are being labelled "bad" . | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:38:26 PM | "Why do you think 90% of women call for divorce? Seems most of it is abuse, cheating or something else.
Your not trying to generalize here are you, it's not like a women would ever do any of those things lol. Money has to be up near the top of the list too, but I unlike you will not blame one sex or the other, I don't want to generalize lol.
Sarcasm, has it really died or is the POF forums really this dim? The number are coming in and dim is winning so far. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:49:44 PM | Oh I know women do it too, but seems its always the women who get blamed for being the single parent, or getting a divorce because things weren't good. Don't see the men taking much blame in anything except saying she screwed me over, or she is in it for the money, etc.
Some are like that not all. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:23:56 PM |
A 1990 study by the Progressive Policy Institute showed that, after controlling for single motherhood, the difference in black and white crime disappeared.
The Village Voice found that children brought up in single-mother homes "are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.
Many of these studies, for example, are from the '90s, when the percentage of teenagers raised by single parents was lower than it is today. In 1990, 28 percent of children under 18 were being raised in one-parent homes -- mother or father, divorced or never-married. By 2005, more than one-third of all babies born in the U.S. were illegitimate. Today, more than 40% of all births are to single mothers. The divorce rate for the married young mothers is more than 60%, and of those, 80% get the child or children.
95% of school shootings are done by children raised in homes where the biological father was prevented from helping raise the chidlren.
Oh here we go again, quoting a bunch of bogus stats from 20 years ago saying that kids raised by single parents might as well be dead cause their lives are ruined already. Alot has changed in 20 years dude.
I got to watch my ex wife abuse my chidlren hurt them, drug them, use them to sell drugs. Every time I made a complaint, I got the same response.
The kids belong with their mother. She's better equipped to raise them. Don't fight it, don't waste your money, no judge is going to give the kids to a man.
You didn't try hard enough, cause I even got custody of her kids along with mine, without a lawyer and child support (which she'll never pay). | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:32:29 PM |
In two-parent families, children under the age of 13 spend an average of 1.77 hours engaged in activities with their fathers and 2.35 hours doing so with their mothers on a daily basis in 1997. Children in single parent families spent .42 hours with their fathers and 1.26 hours with their mothers on daily basis.
sorry this is total crap too. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:32:38 PM |
Oh here we go again, quoting a bunch of bogus stats from 20 years ago saying that kids raised by single parents might as well be dead cause their lives are ruined already. Alot has changed in 20 years dude.
It's easy to say the stats are bogus... without proof... show the proof they are bogus stats... otherwise, they're a valid argument... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:38:06 PM | The stats he is using are 20 years old. ok I will give him that , 20 years ago thats the way it was, ok happy now.
Oh and I'll add, if the study was in 1990 what were they studing? the 80's most likely.
And like I said alot has changed since then. I only say bogus cause they are too old to be valid now.
Hell back then gas was under a dollar, so if I say gas is cheap cause it was a dollar 20 years ago does it make it true now? come on I can believe your would even ask me to prove those stats are bogus for todays society. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:48:15 PM |
I got to watch my ex wife abuse my chidlren hurt them, drug them, use them to sell drugs. Every time I made a complaint, I got the same response.
The kids belong with their mother. She's better equipped to raise them. Don't fight it, don't waste your money, no judge is going to give the kids to a man.
I would like to know who was telling you that they belong with their mother in a situation like that. That really is terrible. The question is, did you listen to who was saying that or did you go ahead and take it to a judge and get their opinion?
Gideon, we are not all like that. I am sorry you had those experiences for exactly that reason. When women act like that it makes all women look bad and we have a hard enough time trying to make it in this world as it is.
But you do need to examine why you chose those women. Speaking from personal experience, I realize now that I am the one at fault for part of my marriage failing because we got married too fast and he was too young. Is it my fault that he refused to work during almost our entire marriage? No. Is it my fault that he cheated on me? No. Is it my fault that he decided to leave once I lost my job and couldn't support him anymore? No. But I did marry him.
It's not just single mothers that can play those games, also. Single women in general can do that. And so can men.
So, don't give up on all of us yet Gideon. Regardless of popular opinion, we aren't all bad.
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:20:03 PM | This argument still going on ?????? lol When will you men learn????
The 12th of never in my reckoning . Talk about double standers.
So for all the single fathers out there .....i've yet to hear one tell me what the difference is between single mums and single dads.....................Because in fact there isn't one is there .
Yes your male and???????????? what of it your still a parent.
We are female and ???????????? what of it we are still a parent .
Ironicaly its mainly mothers who bring up the childern when a relationship does not work ..........and before any says some fathers bring up the childern ...I know already.
We work just as hard as single fathers and yet we are lower than them???? oh please !!
We as single mothers could assume that single fathers are just after a free ride, couldn't we .....someone to look after your kids , do your washing , cook your meals etc. Play the little woman etc .
When in fact for all you single mother haters out there ........what it is you don't like is that we are very strong people who are indepentant , who have our own income who does not need or want you to pay bills for us ...........why the heck should we???
What you also don't like is that we can stand up for ourselves too, why cos we been there done that and won't be doing it anytime soon either.
So what you don't like is equality ...........well guess what ....its 2009 get with the programme cos it an't gone to change .....lol the stone age days way back when have long gone .
Give a single dad a medal for having his childern living with him and he is raising them.
Give a single mum a wide birth cos she's got baggage ?????????
Sorry guys the sooner you get the message it cuts both ways the better. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:00:49 PM | Thatusername..... since you started this topic about why a lot of men don't date single women, would you tell us why you mainly contact single moms?
I am not trying to contradict, but I think it may help some of the people on here that it really is a personal choice and that the negative view of single mothers is not necessarily shared by everyone.
Thanks! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:10:43 PM |
I am not trying to contradict, but I think it may help some of the people on here that it really is a personal choice and that the negative view of single mothers is not necessarily shared by everyone.
One of the reasons might the simple fact that in certain age groups, and in some regions there is a virtual glut of single moms on the market.... most women who are single in early to middle age are single moms... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:21:04 PM | "Don't find many single dads going "if you want to date me you have to take my kids as part of the deal""
I beg to differ lol...but either way, some of us date just to date and don't really want a relationship to evolve, however, for those of us who do, I think that we as single mothers want to let men know up front (to try and weed out the ones who don't get it) that we come as a package...in other words, you can't divide this package!!! lol And, yes, a lot of lines are overused...why does it matter? I would think as long as the message comes accross the right way, it shouldn't matter...men reuse the same lines again and again as well, so it is what it is. :-) | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:21:16 PM | I do wish people would quit blaming the single parents, what about the kids from the rich families that turn to drugs and stuff whats their reasons? after all raised by two parents they should be perfect right.
Next it will be the kids raised in foster care that cause all your problems. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:22:54 PM |
Why do you think 90% of women call for divorce? Seems most of it is abuse, cheating or something else. People usually don't get divorced just because.
Don't want a divorce, don't beat her, don't control her, and don't frakking cheat....
Uh-uh.... nope...
If you look at why marriages break up, the reason most often given by women is, "We just grew apart."
Infidelity and abuse are WAY down the list.
Nice try, though.
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:26:59 PM |
.i've yet to hear one tell me what the difference is between single mums and single dads.....................Because in fact there isn't one is there .
Well, statistically, one significant difference is that far more custodial male parents work full-time than do custodial female parents. And, a higher percentage of women default on court-ordered Child Support than do men.
Just a couple of tidbits...
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:12:41 PM | Valykrie
Thatusername..... since you started this topic about why a lot of men don't date single women, would you tell us why you mainly contact single moms?
I am not trying to contradict, but I think it may help some of the people on here that it really is a personal choice and that the negative view of single mothers is not necessarily shared by everyone.
I didn't start this topic, I just posted in it. 
I try to only contact single moms as they will understand a lot of the same things that I do and know from being a single parent myself. Kids change a persons life significantly, and having some of her own she would understand. If she didn't have children, I would be asking a lot of her to consider entering into a relationship with myself AND my children as well. That can be a lot for one person to take in.
So all you gorgeous intelligent single moms send me a message eh.  | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:59:57 PM | | Ahhh Captain the voice of reason. Sometimes you would think the only single moms that do post here are the ones whowere abused or cheated on. The divorced women who pulled the old we drifted apart are probably too embarrassed for fear of appearing flaky or having a lousy reason forgiving up. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:50:13 PM | Wow, Cideon, what a neighborhood you must live in!
There is NO EXCUSE; whether you are male or female, your children should be your first priority. I have to admit that my own feelings/experience tells me that, as much as we'd like to think that things have changed, the truth is that the women to whom you refer are far less likely to be ABLE to pay CS, having sacrificed their careers to raise their children, and in court the "winner" is the one with the most cash but still, you make a valid point. I am inclined to call such persons losers, but the truth is, the children are the losers here. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:02:29 PM |  ... Well, whattya know! Nearly 16 pages of: Answer(s) As To Why (some) Men Don't/Won't Date A Single Mother.
Wow! Lucky me!! 
Incredibly fortunate because: Through these years of raising my children as their single mother, I have sincerely never found that those that choose/have chosen to not date single mothers, to be of the slightest bit of concern to me! :up: :up:
MY question is: Seriously, ladies, why on earth would they be of any concern to, or for, any single mother ???
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:09:08 AM | "Through these years of raising my children as their single mother, I have sincerely never found that those that choose/have chosen to not date single mothers, to be of the slightest bit of concern to me!"
Well as a single dad I find it difficult to deal with. The other day I was at a club over by the university here in town and I talked with at least 10-15 of the smoking hot women there and only the really drunk one wanted anything to do with me. Now the only explanation for this is that some how (even though I never told them) they must have discovered that I was in fact a single dad. What other reason could there be that none of these other women wanted to see the back seat of my car. Well at least really drunk girls still love single dads. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:35:19 AM | I love this little nugget:
No female in her right mind mind leaves her mate to draw child support and welfare. Why on earth would anyone want that life for their children or themselves?
Here is the answer.....BECAUSE ITS EASY..and they are GUARANTEED a source of income. With my 6 digit salary and half mil I payed her out for our divorce, my ex setup a nice new life for herself....and she didn't pay a dime...not to mention the large CS checks she gets on a monthly basis, even though I have my boy halftime!! There are TONS of women who know they will fall into a goldmine if they divorce.......yet naivity like this comment above abounds here!!
And this one......
Why do you think 90% of women call for divorce? Seems most of it is abuse, cheating or something else. People usually don't get divorced just because.
lol.....that one just reinforces my answer above......lol..... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:55:59 AM | Well silver hawk, I must say those women are few and far between and the exception rather than the rule.
I don`t see many single mothers out there just rolling in it or living the high life.
Now shall we start a thread about the dead beat dads, that try to get CPS to take a child from the mother, so he can put the child in foster care because he doesn`t want it as a way to avoid child support? They do exist and they make the men that do look bad just as these women make the rest of us look bad. | |
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