| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:03:07 AM | ^^
yet naivity like this comment above abounds here!! Hey, Genius, if you could just take a break from condescending for a moment to ACTUALLY READ what I wrote instead of your distorted version you would realise that I was not commenting on the TINY percentage of women who "fall into a goldmine" as you put it.
The VAST MAJORITY of single mothers do not fit into that category. Now, re-read my sentence....slowly...I'll even emphasise the salient bits for you to make it easy......
No female in her right mind mind leaves her mate to draw child support and welfare. Why on earth would anyone want that life for their children or themselves?
If you had bothered to read my comment in context and the comments that preceded it, you would have realised I was not referring to recipients of half million settlements or large child support payments. Because *those* women are not collecting welfare, now are they; or if they are recipients of any kind of welfare, that is certainly not what allows them to be living/setting up any "nice new life".
Since you were so gung-ho to drive forward your own agenda you seemed to miss my point, which was that a woman is not going to choose to raise her children, on her own for possibly significant periods of time whilst struggling to make ends meet on welfare and a tiny amount of CS, if indeed the father is paying any at all. And there is nothing "easy" about it and there sure are hell aren't any guarantees.
And before any of the single dad go nuts, I know there are large numbers of them doing it just as tough. I am just clarifying a response to a point specifically leveled at single mothers.
Trust me, there is nothing naive about me. But apparently you are plenty ignorant to the realities of the vast majority of single parents, male or female. Just what % of single parents do you suppose are earning six figures, or receiving half million settlements and large amounts of CS?
If you're smart enough to earn six figures you're smart enough to know you are are in a tiny minority.
Clear enough for ya? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:34:43 AM |
Well silver hawk, I must say those women are few and far between and the exception rather than the rule
Really?
I would really like to see how many women would file for divorce if there was no possibility of financial gain through the process.........do you honestly think that most of us divorced guys really cheated and/or abused our exs to somehow "deserve" our divorce? Do you honestly think that money has nothing to do with it for some of these women?......come on.....my ex and I are far from the exception.
I invite you to read my history, MSweet - you'll see a clear pattern of thought around dating single moms, and for the record, I have no issues dating single mothers (quite honestly, I prefer it), but the laws have made me apply precautions so I don't get burned a second time...... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:48:24 AM | ^^^No one, male or female, ever "deserves" a divorce. There was not any abuse or infidelity in the failure of my marriage, on either side. And neither one of us "deserved" it.
And the only person who financially gained as a result was my ex-husband, in spite of the fact he pays generous CS to support the children in the way they were supported prior to our divorce. They are with me 80% of the time (his choice).
I would really like to see how many women would file for divorce if there was no possibility of financial gain through the process Yeah? Well I would really like to see how many women who have filed for divorce actually *did* financially gain as a result. I have met plenty of divorced women in my life and am yet to meet one who did it for the money and/or were financially better off as a result.
Mind you, there is no such thing as alimony in this country.
Totally counter-intuitive. If a woman with children really wanted to have maximum 'financial gain/wealth' then the way to do it is to stay married, not to get divorced. I would be a hell of a lot better off financially had I remained married. Funnily enough the wellbeing and happiness of our children, and my ex-husband's and my own need to do what it was that would be best for us and in turn make us the best parents we can be were the priorities. What would achieve greatest financial benefit didn't rate a blip on the radar. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:06:40 AM | Me plus Two I would have remained financially better off as well.
It seems it is the men who are delusional as to why the marriages ended? As they are the only ones complaining that we do it for monetary gain.
Pleeze , I don't see any single mothers in my area as well off as Silver Hawk complains, seems to me I see many of them taking public transportation, or walking most of the time. If they were so well off would they at least not have a car as it is so much easier to drive around than wait for the dang bus that is unreliable and where I am ends at 6pm? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:16:31 PM | Pleeze , I don't see any single mothers in my area as well off as Silver Hawk complains, seems to me I see many of them taking public transportation
When you say many, do you mean a lot? So does that mean that there are that many men with lying skills OR that many women that are gulilble?
Is there at least one woman posting in this thread that did't have a loser ex?
Just one? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:29:55 PM |
I would really like to see how many women would file for divorce if there was no possibility of financial gain through the process.........
Wow silverhawk...you have a very distorted view of women in general.....that is sad.
Women seek divorce for many reasons that could be summed up in one reason....
their needs in the marriage we not being met by their husband.
Is it fair to the spouse they divorce. No, of course not but is life fair? No, it is not. So many married, now divorced friends of mine tell a similar story. They grew apart.......
If you honestly believe that anyone benefits financially when a marriage ends, you are delusional. I will grant that the one who pays suffers financial hardship but so to does the one they are paying.......two homes are more expensive to run than one.
Honestly, I think many people can't see the forest because they are stuck looking at their own tree. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:30:53 PM |
Is there at least one woman posting in this thread that did't have a loser ex?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am sure that all our exes are not losers in the eyes of those that love them today........ | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:36:02 PM | hey i've had a great idea why don't all us single mothers just clock off at 6pm......well we've done our job so lets all sod off down the pub and see what we can pull......lmao
Even better why don't we just dump our kids on someone and sod off the nxt god knows how many yrs and just nip back for birthdays and maybe a couple of weeks in the school holidays ...............if its good for the goose its good for gander ....rite???
And then there's the ' put your life on hold bunch ' bunch to deal with too ........Since when and do tell me where its writtern in stone cos i for one would love to see it .....does it say that being a single mother you can not go out and have a life too???
Well excuse me.............but apart from the title mother you really reading for a SHOCKING UPDATE ......? WE HAVE OUR OWN NAMES TOO! Which oddly enough the rest of the world knows us by ..............SHOCKING !!!! Oddly enough that entitles us to use it and have a life as that person too . | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:23:45 PM | Hey ^^^^^^^piss off lady, I would gladly take my son fulltime but due to circumstances much along the lines of a paranoid ex and a great legal system I got a lot less than I asked for and deserve, just because yourex f'd off you can take your attitude and shove it. There are real men out there that wanted their kids and ended up the weekend (maybe) dads.
Like that has been stated over and over again in these and other threads, It sure as h ell ain't my fault you picked a loser or was stupid enough to be fooled by one long enough to get stuck with his kids.WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:08:20 PM | If you had bothered to read my comment in context and the comments that preceded it, you would have realised I was not referring to recipients of half million settlements or large child support payments. Because *those* women are not collecting welfare, now are they
I did read your statement and let me assure you, I understood it quite clearly. Simply substitute "alimony" for "welfare" and you can now throw your whole rationale out the window.........and before I hear all the screams to the contrary that alimony isn't welfare lets just summarize shall we......:
welfare = publicly funded
alimonly = privately funded
both = FREE
Only difference I can see is that one is more socially acceptable to collect than the other one........at the end of the day, you are still living from the avails of others.
Now pardon me, I'm going to go back to my "delusional" self and "ignorantly" go back to my 6 digit job, so I can pay my non-existent, well off, single mother ex her CS..........
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:17:53 PM | wonderingsole ....funny how its not quiet taken the same way we are ment to take it isn't it.
Like i said its also so different when the boot is on the other foot ...what men don't like is that we can stand up for ourselves and certainly dish it back .
Also may i add that i have not made any personal swipes at anyone in particular ......what i have done .....is throw back the naff attiude that is thrown at us single mums ...not nice is it ! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:59:27 PM | oh and as for you singlehawk ...........there are plenty who have divorced and not had any finanical help what so ever we have done it all on our own!!!!.......Why cos we can and PROVED IT .
So your saying that single fathers who get financal help or what ever you call it over there are 3rd rate people ....looked for any easy way out blah blah blah, and your also saying that they will never become anything or do anything with their lives .....just going to always be ' stay at home dad's' wont ever go out with their mates have no rite to being themselves at any time ...not go out on dates blah blah ........no they done it all for the money ........? Why else would a mother or a father want to have any part of there childerns lives ????......Well it makes you wonder why we do it ...............maybe its got something to with not running away from our responabitlies ............maybe its got something to with being an parent. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:33:50 PM | You may be right about that taken soul, there seems to be lot of ladies here that fall for abusive, cheating men.
There seem to be a lot of single dads on here that fall for cheating, scheming, lying, manipulative, psychotic, and femme fatale types that were only after the guys wallet to begin with. So it cuts both ways.
But every person has a different threshold of crap they are willing to put up with. My ex never raised a hand at me (probably cuz he knew I'd call the cops on him). He never cheated on me. He was just a really lousey father and that was something I couldn't tolerate.
Men don't like ultimatums and thats what I gave him. Sometimes people just get a raw deal. They can do everything to make their partner happy and in the end its just not enough because that person can never be happy, never be satisfied, will always want what they don't have.
Now cutting through all this (crap) I think the majority of the reasons why people don't want to date people that are divorced, have kids are because they don't want to deal with the bitterness. I think when we start dating someone new we can't be whining about how our ex screwed us over. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:00:47 PM |
You may be right about that taken soul, there seems to be lot of ladies here that fall for abusive, cheating men.
Well, there does seem to be an abundance of abusive, cheating exes (both male and female) but then again, this is hardly a sample representative of society now is it?
I don't disbelieve anyone who says they have been cheated on, do you? Usually, women won't walk on a hunch (can't speak for men), we need to be sure before we take that walk.
As for the claims of abuse....oftentimes what is described is a "bad fit", which is why I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure some men might date me and say I'm a ****....others will date me and fall head over heals in love. Such is the nature of human relationships....sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
Jenn I do believe you are right.....bitterness is not an attractive quality. Until someone can deal with their bitter feelings, they are not ready to date. First though, they have to accept they are bitter and from these forums, it seems most don't/can't/won't...... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:43:05 PM | Ok this has swerved into a divorce thread...I'll add my 2 cents.
One thing for sure, if I ever got married and then divorced? I know that I would have to be paying my ex support of some sort even if there are no kids. Either way, I'd let her have all that was in my account, and whatever possessions I own, be it car, house etc. Then I'd make sure I had not one dime left so she would be better off than me. I'd make sure all the bills were in my name, then I would file for bankruptcy and start my life fresh. This way she has a fresh start and has what she deserves being everything that was owned, I would have nothing. I would then just flop on a friend's couch for a few months until I could get first and last month's rent.
In the end she can't comeback for more because I would have given her all my money in the account, RRSP's would be transferred over to her name as well, all possessions would go to her.
Even though you can say one who pays feels financial hardship but the one who gets paid feels it too because of her having to afford a place of her own when it was two incomes, but at least the guy can have it hard financially.
Men screw it up, give the women everything, and start fresh. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:46:45 PM |
There seem to be a lot of single dads on here that fall for cheating, scheming, lying, manipulative, psychotic, and femme fatale types that were only after the guys wallet to begin with. So it cuts both ways.
You know, it's true... it does cut both ways and it points to one obvious reason...
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER WELL ENOUGH BEFORE THEY JUMP INTO BED.... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:52:08 PM | Wow....."singlehawk", "delusional", "ignorant", and I have a "distorted view of women"....lol.........I see I bunched up alot of panties today....lol.....
Whatever.....I call it like I see it and I speak from first hand experience. Topic at hand is "why don't men date single mothers", and there is some great info here for all those single moms to digest and consider. Yea, some of it may be hard to swallow, but you can either look at it constructively and move forward, or continue to whine and snivel and keep bashing us when we call stuff out that you don't agree with.
Choice is yours.....I'm off on a date with my latest single mom.....peace to all...... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:07:32 PM | I dont seem to have a problem with men wanting to date me, I just have a problem with dating men, esp... those that dont have children.Guess with all the crazy peeps around now adays i just really want to protect what i have,and whats crazy now is that i work at my kids daycare and i do see alot of moms that just dont seem to care. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:11:19 PM | | Once again the "answer"......some men don't date single mothers because it is too much trouble,the definition of trouble being purely subjective and experiential and nothing to take offense at. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:13:15 PM | hey Taken,
probably booty call, and most likely one of the ones that took her ex for everything she had since they do it for the money.
Just gotta love the mentality of some people on here. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:15:11 PM | Does it matter?
Plenty of dates available...and no shortage of booty calls....or free available garages.
So where does the power reside? The one doing the asking? Or the one who says yes...or no? | |
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