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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:56:03 PM |
I dont seem to have a problem with men wanting to date me, I just have a problem with dating men, esp... those that dont have children.Guess with all the crazy peeps around now adays i just really want to protect what i have,and whats crazy now is that i work at my kids daycare and i do see alot of moms that just dont seem to care.
I will remember to tell my couins and friends to not bring thier kids around me untilI have children of my own.
It is single mothers like this who make us all out to be perverts, a-holes, etc. Thanks alot I appreciate it...should I run out and get someone pregnant so I can get the acceptance of single mothers? Or should I say that life is over for me because I have no kids?
I am crazy, poor, a panhandler, lowlife, loser, skid, pervert, pig, a-hole...oh and i guess because I do not have kids...but then again I never knew that men who had kids were all genuine, amazing, kid friendly...etc. Thanks for the insight, must mean men without kids are all crazy, men with kids are all amazing. Gotcha... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:18:20 PM |
I dont seem to have a problem with men wanting to date me, I just have a problem with dating men, esp... those that dont have children.Guess with all the crazy peeps around now adays i just really want to protect what i have,and whats crazy now is that i work at my kids daycare and i do see alot of moms that just dont seem to care.
I will remember to tell my couins and friends to not bring thier kids around me untilI have children of my own.
It is single mothers like this who make us all out to be perverts, a-holes, etc. Thanks alot I appreciate it...should I run out and get someone pregnant so I can get the acceptance of single mothers? Or should I say that life is over for me because I have no kids?
I am crazy, poor, a panhandler, lowlife, loser, skid, pervert, pig, a-hole...oh and i guess because I do not have kids...but then again I never knew that men who had kids were all genuine, amazing, kid friendly...etc. Thanks for the insight, must mean men without kids are all crazy, men with kids are all amazing. Gotcha...
Damn, overreact much? Was she talking about you? Nothing wrong with her being a little picky, you guys are, why can't they? Shes a single mom that may have made mistakes she doesn't wish to repeat. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:30:46 PM |
Damn, overreact much? Was she talking about you? Nothing wrong with her being a little picky, you guys are, why can't they? Shes a single mom that may have made mistakes she doesn't wish to repeat.
So you agree that assuming is a good thing to go with? But when men say things about single moms, who gets all up in arms and over reacts?
Nothing wrong with grouping men into the same bunch right? Just because of her past mistakes. BUT if a man does that to the single moms, they don't seem to like it much right? Not an overreaction on my part, just an Assumption, like hers. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:45:10 PM | | No I don't think assuming is right and have stated that in other threads. I've also stated that people comment on the experiences they have had. If someone has had bad experiences with a certain group repeatedly then they start to catagorize or stereotype which is wrong too. But can you blame someone for haveing to be careful for their kids sake? she never said she won't, just said she'd had more problems dating guys with no kids. When men stereotype single moms being a certain way they are wrong too!! It does go both ways. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:52:05 PM | Gee wizzz... I have dated both. Men with kids and without. I have never had a problem with it but, also they have never met my daughter either. So, there has been no bonding with him and her. Which they won't until I know there is a future for him and I.
I like this!! That is the way it should be. It's not fair to either the man or the kid to bond with someone and then have them forever out of thier lives. It's for sure not healthy for the kid either. I know a woman that has her kid calling someone else daddy about every other month and the biological father is still very much involved. That for damn sure is not fair to him! I would go crazy!!! In my own personal experiences, I have never seen this behavior from a man BUT, I'm ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE there is AT LEAST (I did say at least ladies) one guy out of several billion that has done the same thing. It's just not right either way. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:00:05 PM |
Now pardon me, I'm going to go back to my "delusional" self and "ignorantly" go back to my 6 digit job, so I can pay my non-existent, well off, single mother ex her CS.......... Yep, best go back to doing what you know, since you have just made it abundantly clear you have NO CLUE whatsoever about the life circumstances of a single parent existing on welfare support for whatever reason vs the single parent who received a half million settlement and is also receiving alimony and CS. NO CLUE WHATSOEVER
Anyone who thinks another would choose to divorce and be a single parent because of the 'goldmine' to be had by living on welfare and taking CS (if they fortunate to be getting even a tiny fraction of what is truly appropriate) is as ignorant as it comes.
Nice twisting of your original argument BTW - making it about "living off the avails of others" vs your *actual* statement (you know, the one I responded to?) about the goldmine/financial benefit of divorcing someone. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:04:42 PM | Is there at least one woman posting in this thread that did't have a loser ex?
I have been in 3 relationships and 2 of them were not losers. 1 I dated for about 8 months before we decided that no matter how much fun we had together, we simply were not in love. It has been over for months but we are still best friends - he even came and got me tonight when my car broke down. The other relationship lasted years and he was the love of my life. He was an incredible man and he treated me wonderfully. I will miss him for as long as I live. Anyway, I think 2 out of 3 isn't bad. I can live with those odds. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:53:25 PM | General comment; those of you who state that women (or men, for that manner) who divorce do so to gain income are talking out of your azz! Even if we are to assume that all women who divorce receive alimony, which they don't, they certainly don't raise their income by being divorced. Same holds true for men. Women, in particular, are four times as likely to live below the poverty level if they are divorced. Generalizations serve no purpose other than to inflame. Why can't you simply accept that people get divorced because they can not stand to be married to the person they thought they wanted to spend their lives with? There are very few people who gain financially from divorce. Even if one receives support, it is not at all likely to amount to as much as they received while married.
Ignorance rears it's ugly head, and bitterness abounds. Seems counterproductive, on a dating site in particular. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:25:18 PM | "You may be right about that taken soul, there seems to be lot of ladies here that fall for abusive, cheating men."
There seem to be a lot of abusive, cheating men in the world. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:53:57 PM | And why do men think a woman can live off of or support their kids off of the lousy few hundred dollars a month they may get for child support? <--- That is most cases, since the majority of men aren't millionaires. And something makes me want to ask why it would be easier to divorce a millionaire and live on her own for less than half of what she would have had by staying with the millionaire? Hmmmmm. It's easier?
In my case, it was easier to be without my ex. It was easier to not feel like I had to be there to monitor his every action, to worry if he was going to hurt the kids again (and I got CPS involved only for them to threaten me that they would take my kids away because I was allowing them to be in that situation, but when called, they did nothing about the situation, other than talked with me for like an hour, came to inspect my place and told me either they could throw the case out but if anything else was to happen, it was on me OR they would consider taking my kids from the home if I chose not to have the case thrown out...that left me with, well i can't kick him out because he lives there too (and there were laws protecting him), if I did kick him out, what would he do to retaliate...I literally had to wait for him to do something else somewhat violent so I could call the police on him and have the right to have him removed from my home, and I did just that); to worry if he planned to kill me in my sleep, to worry that he was out cheating on me or whether or not he was going to call me from jail on some warrant. His behavior was cyclic and progressive because of his disorders. Trust me, it was easier to be without my ex, who was court-ordered $50/month for child support for two kids (because of lack of proof of income from working under the table)...I haven't seen a dime of this, and two years later, he must owe me what, a whole $1200...lmao...ya know, I can admit, I did not pick very well, but now I'm actually over cautious I think; the pickings are still extremely slim, though. I think I am so afraid to pick the wrong one again that I don't bother picking any. I probably even push men away...and who knows, maybe even some good ones. I see through the alterior motives easier, which turns me off from a lot of men anyway. I see myself single for a really long time (if not for life) because I shy away from any sign that they might be an as*hole and I shy away from the ones who seem "too nice" as well. And the ones who come accross as genuinely nice turn me off too, cuz it doesn't feel normal to me...I tend to wonder if there is lack of testosterone or something. I think I just figured out why I am alone lol. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:55:32 PM |
ohwhynot46: General comment; those of you who state that women (or men, for that manner) who divorce do so to gain income are talking out of your azz! Even if we are to assume that all women who divorce receive alimony, which they don't, they certainly don't raise their income by being divorced. Same holds true for men. Women, in particular, are four times as likely to live below the poverty level if they are divorced. Generalizations serve no purpose other than to inflame. Why can't you simply accept that people get divorced because they can not stand to be married to the person they thought they wanted to spend their lives with? There are very few people who gain financially from divorce. Even if one receives support, it is not at all likely to amount to as much as they received while married. Ignorance rears it's ugly head, and bitterness abounds. Seems counterproductive, on a dating site in particular.
There ya have it...  ... could not have said it better myself. 
MePlusTwo: you have NO CLUE whatsoever about the life circumstances of a single parent existing on welfare support for whatever reason vs the single parent who received a half million settlement and is also receiving alimony and CS. NO CLUE WHATSOEVER
Anyone who thinks another would choose to divorce and be a single parent because of the 'goldmine' to be had by living on welfare and taking CS (if they fortunate to be getting even a tiny fraction of what is truly appropriate) is as ignorant as it comes.
Hmmm.....
Now, what would you say the odds are that he's out with his date, as we speak, throwing his money around begging her to be his future fleecer just so to strengthen his delusional argument? 
** Slaps hand over mouth: "Rose... You did NOT just say that.  **
** Alas: Peace, and Thread Out, folks... G'Nite!  ** | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:06:49 PM |
Is there at least one woman posting in this thread that did't have a loser ex?
Just one?
Yes. My "ex" was handsome, succesful, protective, financially stable, nurturing, a great husband, a great father, passionate, amazing in bed, lit my soul on fire by walking into the room, attentive, loving, treated me like a queen, treated our kids like precious gold, and could c0ok too. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:04:28 AM | | Matariki...then is there a possibility that men who have dated single mothers have had experiences that would cause them to choose not to date single mothers ? are those experiences invalid in the discussion of the issue ? while i do not agree with the bashing of single mothers i have also seen and have experienced having my character questioned because i choose not to date single mothers because of the experiences i have had....is that wrong ? This is one of those threads where there is only one acceptable answer...why do men choose not to date single mothers ? because they are selfish,evil ,vile controling brutish monsters of course.....this is the acceptable answer. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:39:09 AM | ^^^ Men have no leg to stand on when it comes to bashing or insulting single moms. And men come up with the wrong reasons not to date them. Ask women, they as always are right, we men sadly are always wrong.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Single moms will always say they have valid reasons to question a man who has no kids and never been married.
I get it all the time, and yet if I ever said I would never date single mothers because....then I would be bashed big time.
I give all women the benefit of the doubt and most times I am never given that. But life works on a one way street most times. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:17:28 AM | Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Welcome to 'our' world! 
For the record I think that not wanting to date a single mother is a completely reasonable and valid preference. I can think of any number of perfectly good reasons why a single man with no children in particular might prefer to date childless women. And that's without ever having had any bad experiences.
What gets me is the excuses that centre around ridiculous and often ignorant generalisations made by *some* men to justify it. I guess they think it sounds too pathetic or politically incorrect to just say "I'd rather date a childless woman because I have no children myself and I'd prefer to date someone who wants to start a family for the first time with me (or conversely *not* start a family if that's their preference). I'd prefer someone whose lifestyle is compatible with mine; where we're both 'on the same page' in life, as it were."
So sick of the BS. Not wanting to date a single mother or father does not make a man or woman selfish, stupid, pathetic, etc, etc; nor does it mean they're 'missing out' or that it's 'their loss'.
Claiming that women divorce men because of the 'goldmine' they get on welfare and CS. Now *that* is stupid. Claiming that if a marriage fails it is because the woman screwed up and has a "thing" about her that made the man quite trying. Now *that* is ignorant. And there are so many other 'gems' that get sprouted off on here time and time again around the 'way it is' if you date a single mother.
Dating (NB. Freetime, I am referring to dating with a view to a relationship  ) a single parent is a tough gig. There are many logistical issues that many childless people may never have encountered before and just may not be something they want to get into for a start. Then, if dating does progress to a serious relationship there's not just the risk of heartbreak for man and woman, but also the emotional risks of the relationship/s with the child/ren. Much more risk all around.
So for me, I have great respect for any man who knows his mind, knows himself and his capabilities and capacity within a relationship and knows what he is willing to risk and is able to communicate that. Still sucks when I meet a guy that I am really attracted to and he to me (not just talking physical/sexual) but he just knows that dating a single mother is not for him.
Meh, what are ya gunna do? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:31:15 AM | Now here is why I do not exclude women with children from my potential dates. At 40 if I am to only want to find women with no kids, there ure are not tons of women in that catagory 35-40. And so that means I am limiting myself on potential dates, also I am making the pool of available women smaller. Meaning not many chances of even meeting nor dating with so many men pursuing the same small pool of women.
Or that means I would have to start wanting to date younger and then again there is another problem. Not enough younger women who will date an older guy.
So when I factor in all those things, I do not exclude women who have kids. My preference in age range is 35-45 yrs old. I did go on a date with someone in thier mid 20's a couple of years back. She was nice and all, but again we just did not have the same mindset.
Dating has not become much of a priority to me these days. I look at it as this: If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I still do the things I enjoy doing in my life. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:31:39 AM | My oh my....just look at all this clucking..........even MORE panties bunched up today.....goodness me!!
MPT
Nice twisting of your original argument BTW - making it about "living off the avails of others" vs your *actual* statement (you know, the one I responded to?) about the goldmine/financial benefit of divorcing someone.
Ok "Genius" I know you connected the dots with little puzzles and put the square throught the "square" hole and the triangle throught the "triangle" hole when you were young so I'm a little surprised you can't connect the dots on this one.......
There is no "twist" here......let me go back to my original statement (which I stand by!) - Its EASY for women to divorce and get more than what they rightfully brought into the relationship, especially when men still are considered the breadwinners in the family. So if a woman divorces her mate and ends up getting more than what she brought in (through things like alimony and over inflated CS payments) how can you say she's not "living off the avails of others". She does sweet twit Sh!t for those payments...she is indeed "living off the avails of others" - does this not compute for you? If you need some practice before you get to this one, I'll happily send over some of my boy's 2yr old toys - I think there are some triangles and squares for you in there.
Now, what would you say the odds are that he's out with his date, as we speak, throwing his money around begging her to be his future fleecer just so to strengthen his delusional argument?
Didn't have to throw any money around (although I did buy dinner) and, for the record, I had a fantastic date - complete with booty call....and I've got another one tonight!!  
Men have no leg to stand on when it comes to bashing or insulting single moms. And men come up with the wrong reasons not to date them
Stand up, be a man, and call things as they are. People are people and you won't please everyone, but you'll get alot of respect by standing by your guns. I never look at it as "damned if you do, damned if you don't" - thats like throwing in the towel, and lordy, there are way too many nice ladies out there to date before I consider that!! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:35:42 AM | Gideon 70:
I got to watch my ex wife abuse my chidlren hurt them, drug them, use them to sell drugs. Every time I made a complaint, I got the same response.
The kids belong with their mother. She's better equipped to raise them. Don't fight it, don't waste your money, no judge is going to give the kids to a man.
What I find hard to believe is that if you had proof of all the those things why you listened to the legal advice of an idiot lawyer that discouraged you from pursuing getting sole custody of your kids. Family Court judges usually take those kinds of allegations seriously. Sounds like you had a good for nothing lawyer on your behalf that was not looking out for your best interest nor your kids.
That said, since you now seem to know that the kind of women you let into your life were leeches and golddiggers, in my opinion, why be such a bitter man. Now you can pursue women who have their life together, not looking for a free ride, and above all not looking to murder you. The dating pool needs less bitter, resentful men.  | |
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