| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:42:11 AM | One of the biggest reasons men don't want to date single moms is the simple fact that many men do not want to raise another man's kid(s)...~m_church~
^^^and judging by these forums....most men who have such a venomous opinion haven't bothered to raise their OWN kids!!...
For every excuse there is a guilty consience..
So perhaps guys should stop stealing the putty from single Mom's if they don't have good intentions.
If men do not want to date single Mom's then don't!.....duh....
If men have to post on the reason's why they won't date single Mom's.....I have to wonder WHY they have time to bother posting with all the single childless women that are available for them to date? Don't do us single Mom's any favours guys....just move along....most single Mom's don't want to date an adult that acts like their 4 yr old...
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:27:08 AM | I have a theory about the single mom haters......I think they simply hate women and some of us single moms get easily hurt and offended which only makes it that much more entertaining to these abusive men. Most men who don't want to date a single mom simply don't...they do not feel the need to justify to anyone their decision by attacking the character of a single mother, only abusers do that.
Comments about how she is a whore or a slut or ______ for having some "losers" kid are abusive remarks.
Comments about how her kids are brats or ______ (insert negative here) are abusive remarks.
Assumptions that all single moms are looking for someone to take care of her kids are ignorant, as much assumptions tend to be.
If I can make a suggestion...we the people of POF should vote to delete these kinds of threads.....they are inflamatory and incredibly redundant...... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:38:44 AM | You make good points soul lady but you also have to remember that all too often here you see this looking for a good man crap because the old guy was a/an _________ (fill in blank). And this does get a little redundant but many of those good guys were shunned for those guys and now because their priorities changed due to parenthood they finally see the value of what they overlooked first time around.
Plus when one of those guys does state how he feels about it he is called untold times that if he can't suck it up te be man enough to raise the other sperm doners offspring that he isn't a man.
So the unloading begins and it does come accross as a hey F you kind of thing which gets worse when they have a bad experience.
So if you think it is just the abusers who come here to bash should take full responsibility for the collapse of most threads into a flame on war maybe you single parents should just ignore them and not reply to every thread that you find insulting.
There is a method to delete all those threads like you say. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:44:39 AM | No clickon...you make another assumption. I'm pretty sure that the women on here were looking for a good man when they got the old guy too. Show me someone that is still with the first person they ever got with. Very unlikely. I WISH that everyone had these little "Truth" cards that you could inspect on the first date....
"Hi my name is Bob. I will eventually borrow money from you and never pay it back. My mom is paying for my apartment and although I will more than willingly have unprotected sex I will act shocked when you tell me you are pregnant and then act like a total douche until you get so fed up you leave"
God that would have saved me a buttload of time!
You guys must get the girls that carry the cards in all your perfectness. ...lucky you! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:05:19 AM |
I'm pretty sure that the women on here were looking for a good man when they got the old guy too. Show me someone that is still with the first person they ever got with. Very unlikely.
Unfortunately, when they were looking, many of them seem to have confused the term, "good man" with "drug addicted, beer swilling jock, IQ of a potted plant, and muscles"
Sorry, seen to many women over the years make that kind of mistake...
So many say things like "I thought he'd change", or "I thought becoming a father would change him..."
And all too often, I hear "He changed when I got pregnant..."
Maybe so, but more likely, he was still the same, just that finally, she realised what the guy was like all along.... Maybe pregnancy enhances perception... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:20:28 AM | Hey OP, nice try!
If I was a single mother I guess I'd at least consider your opinions seeing as how they come from a MAN! Obviously most of the single mothers would rather take offense and argue rather than see if the "shoes fit" or not and simply move along. Probably why they are single...? My roommate has dated some single mothers and I'd say that each of them has at least one of these problems to contend with which makes her poor dating material. Dr. Laura says that single parents should focus on raising their children rather than dating so perhaps it's all moot point anyway if raising your children really is a priority - you know, #1!
Single female here who likes kids, but does not tolerate spoilt brats....dating is no less frustrating! I live with a single parent and I've been raised by a single parent and also blessed with two wonderful step parents so don't discount my opinion just because I choose not have children hanging off me teets. I also have girlfriends who are single parents. It is quite common! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:38:29 PM | clickon, I'm sure that more than one man in the world has dated his shares of biatches, thinking they were wonderful when they started out....perhaps they were fortunate that they did not procreate with these biatches because they can "hide" their poor judgement.
I think it is unfortunate that women are held to a higher standard than men when it comes to picking partners but then again, women seem to be left with the responsibility of raising children ... changing these days (thank God) with more men stepping up and wanting primary custody of their children. There is really very little difference between men and women.....at the core, we all need/want the same things.
You are quite right, there are some very whiny verbally abusive single moms in here who go on the attack and "give as good as they perceive they are getting". They are just as bad as the men who come into these threads and insult ALL single moms with their ignorance.
I look at my own life as the evolution of 'me'....I am not the same woman I was when I was 20 and in 20 years, I am sure I will be different than I am today. I learn lessons and change my opinions...the only thing that remains somewhat constant are my values. Have I always picked good men? Nope, but at the time, I thought they were....hindsight is always 20/20 though. Have I fixed my "man-picker" and finally found the one I could grow old with? I believe I have but please do not bash me if I am back to single again in a few months/years time. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:38:00 PM | I just joined this site 3 days ago...
It's very disheartening for me to see this much bitterness. Yikes!
My girl is almost 4 and, since she was born and outside of her dad, I've only had one relationship and have only been with him. I don't have enough experience under my belt to even attempt any retorts to spew in any direction here. If I were to base my hopes for making any kind of decent connection on what I've read so far, I would pretty much want to close up the ole' lap top and forget the whole thing
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If I were to base my opinion on that one relationship I've had as a single mom, I too would be acrid as Hell. If one is to have any kind of understanding based only on what they've seen out of their own two tiny eyes, how are they ever expected to see or learn anything new? It's like a horse with blinders... It's the closed minds that state opinions as facts. There are nearly 7 billion more pairs of eyes out there with nearly infinite perspective. How can any one of us really believe we've got it all figured out? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 5:26:34 PM | I was raised by a single mom. I happen to be a well adjusted, well educated, emotionally stable (no prozac or other pres. drugs), no criminal record, and I'm able to form stable relationships. I can take care of myself quite well, as mom was working a lot and my brother and I needed to fend for ourselves after school most days. We were far from spoiled and indulged, as she enforced her rules with an iron fist. She told me that she thought of herself as mom, and dad, in the arrangement.
I'm also dating a mom now, and I communicated clearly that I understand how her kids come first. If she cancells plans at the last minute because of kid issues, I won't even get close to angry (keep my disappointment to myself). Plus, she's a total milf haha
Point is, it's not the "end all." They are fine to date. I never cared about any one I date's past, anyway, because I'm secure with who I am and where I stand in relationships. The trick to dating a single mom is to remain flexible, and don't expect to spend tons and tons of time with her right away. If you get close, let her include the kids in things you do together, but leave the introductions and other interactions with the kids up to her. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:22:44 PM | Did not read the whole post put the last one made me mad.
Was with a female that had a C-section, not my child rasied it for a year 1/2 real father came back into her sons life (one night stand before me). She left to be with me. think about who got the bad end of the deal. ME
after i moved her in and gave her everything she ever wanted.
I still love the child and love her and her stomach
Here is the thing about love, Small things like her stomach does not matter.
If it grose you out then you are only there for one thing and kills it for guys like me. REAL MEN!!! | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:22:21 PM | Jimmy, you're absolutely right... If you love a woman for her stomach, boobs, or another part you're in it for ALL the WRONG reasons. You shouldn't even bother with the whole thing...
I've decided I'm best alone and men tend to mess everything up... They want things their way. Its part of their make up. They want control of any situation... I don't blame them... Its just easier to say bug it all and move on... | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:33:21 PM | | for you men that think you know it all, some of us women are good moms and you have no idea how hard it is to be a single mom. i work my ass off to support my kids, i had a lazy bum for a husband so i booted him, i choose not to let my kids get close to someone and my kids are discaplined. you dont have to have someone or your mother there to help i am 22 with 3 kids and another on the way am i irresponsible or a slut NO!! so dont jump to conclusions, its not always the womans fault. and if you let yourself get close to the kids and it doesnt work out thats your fault but neither you or the woman should take it out on the kids. and another thing if there is a crazy ex if you truly are a man and care about the woman youll stand by her side and be strong for her instead of running. its not easy for us woman to deal with the psycho ex girlfriends or wifes either. so instead of going all blame game and puttin this all as woman starts going from both sides, men and woman both can be single and take care of their kids, and how do you know that maybe some people dont get married when having kids cuz they are scared that its just gonna end in some big hassle and the waste all that damn money for a divorce. i payed for my divorce my home and my car noone helped me and if i can do it i know there are other woman out there who did. so to you men who are actin like its the woman grow up and admit the real reason and to you woman who run from men with kids get over yourself and grow up its not always about you. | |
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pamem
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Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 65 | |
| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:46:52 AM | I find it curious that there is a general assumption that only the woman is responsible for getting pregnant, and somehow men are off the hook and have nothing to do with it ... so how did my kids come about? The immaculate conception?  | |
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pamem
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Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 66 | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 4:32:13 AM | | Ok I will put my two cents in. First as a single parent who gets his son every other weekend, I emjoy that time. Not to say I don't have time for someone and her kids. I personally have rasied someone elses children and still to this day see them. Does that make me a bad person? NO!! Dude you have serious issues there. I think if a man or woman care about each other enough, then the kids will natuarlly fit into the picture. I am not going to talk about each point because the way I see it, it comes down to this, If you care enough about the person then you will not gripe about their kids or doing for them. But that is my opinion. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:26:12 AM | I found more single mothers won't date men who have no kids.
Some ne may not date single mothers because they feel that they do not want to be this child's new dad. When in fact that is not true, the child has a dad already.
I found more women who are single mothers have rejected me because they find out I have never been married and have no kids.
Funny thing is, women friends I have been out with, with their child or children with us, people think the kids are mine LOL. Which is human nature.
I remember running into a friend of mine who was with her son pusing him in a stroller. So I was walking with her through the mall and she wanted to grab something in one store so I said I'll wait with him while she goes in. Women thought the child was mine and were stopping to see him. When my friend came out, they thought she was my gf/wife and said "You both have such a cute child." | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:21:18 PM | | i do hav probs with women on this site as u im a single dad to a 3 year old little girl ,ive been called a liar she cant be that young as im nearly 37 , but if i message them back or send one to them i always say that im a single dad ,and never hear back from them so what does that say most of the women r single mums well we all hav a past when we r in our 30s lol ,but they get scared because a bloke is bringing up a kid | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:02:14 PM | Illegitimate kids and their mothers wear a Scarlett letter. Unless you want to settle for less and you feel inadequate for not finding a fresh woman.
^^
why does it not surprise me that you like R Kelly
k, humor me... if the mother wears the scarlet letter for bearing illegitimate children, what does the father wear.. hmmm? | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:15:52 PM |
settle for less and you feel inadequate for not finding a fresh woman.
and what's your definintion of a "fresh Woman" someone who has never been with anyone else? After all single women with no kids, still have past exes too and aren't so fresh....
Anyway a woman, any woman who would date someone with your personality type has got to be desparate and obviously settled for much less than they deserved.
Also how do you know if the child is illigitemate anyway? You don't know the woman wasn't married before? Not like we wear a stamp, and no we don't continue to wear the ring of the man we are not with anymore.
I left for valid reasons as did many others, you have no right to judge others, and we are human.
People talk of racism, almost the same what you are doing only yours is against the single mother.
If you have no kids and hate single parents what the heck are you doing posting in this forum get lost we don't want you here. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:43:51 PM | Illegitimate kids and their mothers wear a Scarlett letter. Unless you want to settle for less and you feel inadequate for not finding a fresh woman.
^^
why does it not surprise me that you like R Kelly
k, humor me... if the mother wears the scarlet letter for bearing illegitimate children, what does the father wear.. hmmm?
If the father's opinion was sought before the pregnancy and he agreed to have an out of wedlock child with a particular woman, then they both should wear a Scarlett letter. However, if the woman took it upon herself to get pregnant and have a child without consulting the man first, then she alone wears the Scarlett letter. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 7:19:33 PM |
Illegitimate kids and their mothers wear a Scarlett letter. Unless you want to settle for less and you feel inadequate for not finding a fresh woman.
wearing the scarlet letter means you commited adultry so why would the kids be wearing them. And if anyone had to settle for being with me, a single parent, then they can just hit the road.
Most importantly I dont want to compete with the kid for the mothers attention because I need TLC from the woman I love.
boy I'm sure this statement made you sound desirable, not. So what happens when you have a kid with your wife? You run and get a new one thats fresh. and this is most important to you, damn, what a shallow person. | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 7:35:31 PM | Your reaction toward your kids misbehavior is totally different from one you would have towards someones kid.
maybe for you but not for me and I'm sure others out there. I have custody of a thirteen year old thats not mine and treat her no different than mine. And what about families that adopt, what they arent worthy of the same as the families blood.
I'm glad not everyone thinks like you
And yes the scarlett letter is by definition a woman convicted of adultery so if you want to make up new definitions go ahead but expect to be questioned | |
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| Why don't men date single mothers...the answer
Posted: 10/17/2009 7:46:38 PM | | Wow why does the Grumpy ol' Troll song pop into my head from Dora the Explorer when Tito is flaming single mothers. Anyway, this is pointless. If you want to cut your dating pool that is your buisness. If your mad at single mothers because they won't date you, maybe you should look in the mirror (OP and others) and change your attitude. People are attracted to happy postitive people. Why do you think sales people smile all the time? Hmmm? Because a woman is a single mother it doesn't mean she has loose morals. It means she had a child and for whatever reason is unattached. Go work on your anger problems at the gym and think of positive things to say you'll get much better results. I promise. | |
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