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| Does this change your mind about spanking your child?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:46:34 PM | [and i love you.
come.....hither]
Chilling. Much like the husband who brings home roses after blackening his wife's eye. I believe that this is the danger in spanking, and that the "slippery slope" theory often applies. You are teaching the person who loves you the most, whom you purport to love the most, that it is acceptable to hurt someone you love, even sometimes their own fault (deserved). Learning, no matter what we may tell ourselves, begins by modeling, and the lessons die hard. Thus begins a cycle of abuse. | |
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| Does this change your mind about spanking your child?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:20:51 PM | ...
ms.ohwhynot.
read your own posts and discover the blind batterer to eye. i strike no one.
and you have not completely defended your choices to deterrents as well as i bring you to respond again to that which you thought you had under control by your reasons...
yet...irrational. if your eye seem black it is the poke you give yourself trying to take an others poke away or take the poker away.
you....get to sit on both sides of the fence when it suits you.
i get to be with as much ration as is necessary to balance the remainder.
please...i am not your husband and i have not blackened your eye.
nor have i brought you roses...
unless these gifts you have been deliberating over be as roses.
in which case ... you are welcome. but please don't tell people i am as an abuser while i assist with showing they whom strive for authority respects not considered previously.
but i do thank you for responding. you take that much re-interest. | |
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| Does this change your mind about spanking your child?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:43:03 PM | propurpose, I was not directing my words at you, merely commenting on their effect on me! I thought it perfectly clear that I view you as a kindhearted & wise man, and that we are not in disagreement at all. Your thoughts open the eyes and hearts of those who are willing to let in light; I respect you, even if I find your communication difficult to interpret.
I do not believe that I am on both sides of the fence, either. I am cognizant of the fact that we are all human, and we all make mistakes. I also believe that there are those who have laid a hand on their children and recognize that it is not the right thing to so, nor do they defend it as a method of discipline or teaching. It is the choosing to repeat those mistakes that results in abuse, and your post reminded me of that. I thank you for it.
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| Does this change your mind about spanking your child?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:10:46 PM | Ohwhynot, thank you for your comment about my "mom"ness. I am far from perfect and realize that parenting is a really tough job...the only experience one has going in is the experience of being a child parented by our parents (usually). It is a tough journey and the relationships between my children and I are each unique. Managing those relationships while teaching is a great challenge but a worthwhile one for sure. I have learned more about who I am through the eyes of my children than any other (until very recently). That is the gift they have given me. At times I feel good as a Mom, other times I feel badly but always there is love between my children and I.
Propurpose...since you asked the question about the last time I struck my child, I will answer.
I swatted my daughter on her bum because she wasn't cooperating in getting dressed and out the door (we were late going somewhere). I swatted only after trying other methods. I was frustrated and my action (the swat) caused us to be much later so it really did not serve the original purpose well....it relieved my own frustration and sent a message to her that she had "got me". What I do now is prepare her further ahead that we are going. I realized that she needed that time to switch gears, not because she is trying to be difficult but because that is who she is as a person at this moment in her development. Changing gears for her takes time....she is four now and is requiring less and less time as she is growing up to "change gears". | |
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| Does this change your mind about spanking your child?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:24:13 PM | ...
i wasn't asking you in particular. i was asking for people to ask themselves why they do anything.
people love...guide teach control ....by fear and fear practices as plan or with impelling urge.
it happens every day. children are pushed around like shopping courts.
desensitization to child respects can and do bring to them the self preoccupation to accept what is confusing without explanation.
to be punished for this or that movement or cry is par for the course in present day economic realities.
the abusers rule. and direct further abuse to capture the abusers which give them compensation in their own right of mind.
on and on.
be well | |
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