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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:37:15 AM | I dont know why people look at one aspect of anyones life and draw such crazy conclusions. Just because someone never took the plunge doesnt mean they are afraid to, it is not easy to meet totally compatible people. It is easy to meet people who you can grow feelings for, doesnt make them good marital mates.
I get asked all the time since my divorce in 98 why Im still single-as if being still single is a disease or something. I learned a few things about marriage and now know with hindsight that I chose wrong, and am not willing to choose wrong again. Marriage is serious and I dont want another divorce, so unless I meet someone who views the important things in life the way I do, I wont be getting married. A bachelor who feels the same way, is fine by me. Says he is smarter than the average person who runs off and marries for the wrong reasons and ends up divorced anyways.
Of course thier are people who actually are afraid to commit-it is better that they dont, and dont cave to societal pressures, they make terrible spouses anyways. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:54:06 AM | ok so I have never been married,I lived 2 differnet girlfriends- 6yr and 3.5 yrs
that is enough for me--
-I don't need the title of previously married to appear like I am 'right on track" as far as my life timeline goes.
People that think it is a red flag probably are divorced and have 2 kids...........
so,that means they are more mature or more worthy adults........or are they more realistically people with more financial commitments and relationship bagagge to deal with??
best thing I ever did was quit giving a crapp about what people think of me, and trying to keep up with the Jones and society.
GUYS - if you are 40 ,never been married with no kids.........
SMILE,grin be happy- cause you probably have more money in your pocket
less drama to deal with
-- flick on' spike t.v' and crack a cold beer put your feet up on the table,leave the toilet seat up,buy a big stereo ,a motorbike,a pathfinder,play guitar
buy lots of cool tools - celebrate being a guy | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:26:34 AM | Never-married people should stay unmarried. I mean really - it's all about 'who's better' - like it some sorta dam competition between divorced and never married men. I've never read of divorced men saying why he is a better catch than a never-married man, but never-married men have such arrogance of saying 'I'm a betta catch because I don't have a 'failed' marriage under my belt (even tho I failed at few or many non-marital relationships) and I don't have baggage of kids to take care of.'
Well stay single and never get married and have kids so you can keep saying that makes you a better catch.  | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:25:30 PM |
inNCsearching: being a bachelor in america with the divorce rate and the court system is actually the smart thing to do. who says you can't love a woman and live with her and if things don't work out theres no huge legal crap because when a relationship breaks down it boils down to one thing....back to being selfish and if you're not married then the selfishness doesn't get into divorce court. it's smart being a bachelor. if they changed the laws most all men would be married and most women would not file for divorce. the divorce rate would drop like a prom dress on prom night and divorce would only be between the truly abusive relationships. so being a bachelor is actually extremely smart.
I'm not Christian, but I have to say Amen to that! The only part I disagree with is the living together part. Sure, you can save on rent and utilities that way, but in a lot of states if the relationship goes south, then she can get your place and throw you out. Yeah, no-fault divorces have ruined a lot of marriages and families. Still, it's rare when we meet someone for us for life. I think we'd have a much better chance of finding that elusive needle in a haystack. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:42:46 PM |
guitarman100: GUYS - if you are 40 ,never been married with no kids.........
SMILE,grin be happy- cause you probably have more money in your pocket
less drama to deal with
-- flick on' spike t.v' and crack a cold beer put your feet up on the table,leave the toilet seat up,buy a big stereo ,a motorbike,a pathfinder,play guitar
buy lots of cool tools - celebrate being a guy
This is true. This past Friday evening I took my 18-year-old niece with me to Wal-Mart to get groceries. Between a Halloween costume and make-up, I spent $52 on her, not to mention the $7.50 pizza buffet place where she got 2 or 3 slices max, and at least $8 on cigarettes. So the total is about $70. I will get reimbursed for the $52 I spent on her at Wal-Mart, but still.... I'm just glad she's my brother's daughter and not mine!
Yes, celebrate being a single guy! You probably get more sex than the married guy anyways, who only gets it when his wife wants something. Learn how to cook and clean up after yourself. Even if you have to pay escorts for sex, that's a much better choice than "switching teams" when it comes to your sexual orientation. And paying escorts for sex is much cheaper than having a wife and kids. Back in the 1990s in his book "How to be the Jerk Women Love", he tallied up how much money a guy would save by seeing prostitutes as opposed to being married. To the married guys (regarding sex) he said: "Hope you got your money's worth!" nomarriage.com | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:46:57 AM | Thats crazy, You wont believe this but i did just that but I bought a drum set.Had to find a way to vent.I say there are possitive and negative aspects to bein single.You do have more money and are able to have lots of toys too....But ther is nobody there to share them w/........At the same time there are no arguments over money situations. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:52:13 PM | Ok on the topic of why men dont relocate to foreign soil if they love foreign women so much.....
I would say the smart and monied ones do. If you relocate to over seas as an ExPat, it takes the whole foreign bride for green card trade off out of the equation. I have been doing consulting for Russian brides for 15 years as a sideline. I speak the language. Of the marriages that I have helped arrange, the only ones that are still successful, are the ones in which the guys relocated to Europe, or Sakahalin, or Russia. Of the local US guys, the expectancy of that eveolution is about 2.2 years. Make no mistake, they know the immigration law very well.
Learn a language guys, shop over seas; smart money says make your vacation, your retirement, stay over seas.
I know that there is a big ex-pat population in Costa Rica, Vietnam and Thialand too... Must be some reason for it. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:05:54 PM | | amen to that. i plan on retiring in the phillipines. no crazy divorce crap. and if you notice there's no such thing as divorce in those countries or very small. and it does eliminate the whole green card crap. if you love one from there....sure go marry her and say...i'll be back in 5 years...but don't bring her over here. look halloween is coming up and if someone had a bucket of candy that said....please just take one, how many of you would not think about taking more? it's like the divorce industry. it's bigger than microsoft and IBM combined. it's a business so if someone dangled in your face money if the relationship was getting boring, and you could take a lot of money and go screw pedro the 19 year pool boy, who wouldn't do that? jez...look at hulk hogan's ex wife? now screwing a 19 year old. i rest my case for remaining a bachelor with your own place. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:53:36 PM | "He mentions that he doesn't even have a house. ???"
So what! A LOT of people do not have a house, a car or whatever materialistic item, and they STILL manage to lead happy & fulfilling lives.
Perhaps the OP is SMART for leading the life of a Bachelor! As they say;
"Love is Grand but Divorce is FIFTY (or more) GRAND!"
People have the right to lead thier lives as they choose.
However, NOBODY has the right to put down others because of personal preferences. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:42:00 PM |
ValenciaCityX: Ok on the topic of why men dont relocate to foreign soil if they love foreign women so much.....
I would say the smart and monied ones do. If you relocate to over seas as an ExPat, it takes the whole foreign bride for green card trade off out of the equation.
This is true. Both foreign wives and homes are much less expensive than their American counterparts, and neither are made with the same quality as they used to be! As far as I know, it takes a fiancee visa to bring a foreign lady here (after meeting her within the past 2 years), then get married within 90 days after her arrival. After that she's something like a 'permanent resident' for 2 years. Then she gets her green card. In a lot of countries you have to be married to the same person for 5 years before you can gain free-and-clear citizenship in her country. I believe that under the new law a man can only apply for a fiancee visa only twice in his lifetime.
I have been doing consulting for Russian brides for 15 years as a sideline. I speak the language. Of the marriages that I have helped arrange, the only ones that are still successful, are the ones in which the guys relocated to Europe, or Sakahalin, or Russia. Of the local US guys, the expectancy of that eveolution is about 2.2 years. Make no mistake, they know the immigration law very well.
Yes, they do!!! Говорю чуть-чуть по-русски. ("I speak a little bit of Russian.") I took 2 years of Russian in college. There about 10 or so million more women than men in Russia.
Learn a language guys, shop over seas; smart money says make your vacation, your retirement, stay over seas.
Good advice. Where your money is -- is where your heart is!
I know that there is a big ex-pat population in Costa Rica, Vietnam and Thialand too... Must be some reason for it.
Yeah, I'd say it's the women, the people, the food, the weather. Those are what I liked about northeastern Brazil when I went there. Yes, I'm fluent in Portuguese. I worked for a software company for 4 years doing trilingual technical support (Spanish and English too) for Brazilian and other Latin American customers.
Here's a sample from my profile:
"My ideal girlfriend would be between 26 and 44 (will go for 18-25 if she's mature and we have rapport), single without children, a non-smoker, not a drug addict, not overweight, obese or too skinny, and live within a 25-mile radius."
Here are my Advanced Search results:
Age: 26-44: 26 results
Age: 18-44: 48 results
The thing is, American women from 18 to 25 aren't even going to consider someone my age unless he's tall and/or has money. Foreign women don't seem to mind the age difference that much. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:52:24 PM | "Both foreign wives and homes are much less expensive than their American counterparts, and neither are made with the same quality as they used to be!"
Would these thoughts also include Canadians? | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:43:52 PM | I haven't met a lot of Canadian women, but I have heard Canadian women are worse than American women. Then again, I've heard bad things about British and Australian women too, so avoiding native Anglophone women altogether may be smart in the long run. There are always exceptions, but quality women are usually taken or live too far. Of course, you can say foreign women live 'too far', but they're much more friendly and approachable than American women.
In big cities and along the coast (especially in big cities along the coast!), women are going to be more demanding and go for great-looking tall guys who have a lot of money. Away from the coast and big cities, women like them tall, hard-working and usually Christian and/or 'cowboy' (or 'country') too. So what are not-so-tall guys with not so much money supposed to do? 'Become' gay? Become a priest or a monk?
If you want to see what's wrong with American women, check this site out: nomarriage.com | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:12:34 PM | I'm 37. Never been married, no kids. Both things that I really want though.
I wish I could get a badge or something to put on my profile that says, "Sorry I was irresponsible when I was younger. I had plenty of chances but blew them all by putting my friends and fun ahead. I always thought I had plenty of time. Stupid me. Please forgive me? I've learned my lesson, I promise. I DO want marriage, I DO wants kids, I DO NOT have a fear of commitment and I'm a real nice, funny guy -- trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that. Will you just give me a chance and see for yourself? Pretty please with sugar on top?"
Maybe I should just type that as a disclaimer on my profile. Uhg. Like it or not, there is a stigma. I think if you haven't made it happen by 35, then the road gets real rocky after that. But I'm not giving up. I know who I am and what I have to offer. And if someone can't see it, then too bad for them.
Thank you for reading this. Now I will get back to staring at the wall and counting the dots. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:15:50 PM | | Oh and for the OP: Forgive me if this has already been posted (I haven't read this whole thread --- many of the posts are way too wordy, even for me). But you know, maybe you could do like one of those Russian mail order brides or something? You can even have one custom made to suit your specifications. It would be a win win for both of you! Just Google it. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:26:35 PM |
If you want to see what's wrong with American women, check this site out: nomarriage.com
Dude -- they paying you or something?
So what are not-so-tall guys with not so much money supposed to do?
Just a thought, but-- work on developing a nice personality?
(HINT: whiny is NOT nice) | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:36:05 PM | No, CassaGo, nomarriage.com isn't paying me. I advertise them as a free service.
So, it's OK for women to be whiny (see it here all the time!)? And when men are they're told to "man up" or "get a good personality". Talk about double standards, geez!
You see, for men sex is a chore. For women it's a choice. In the past I thought it was just about sexual intercourse alone. A woman says yes and then the guy does all the work.
Now I see it goes from first interaction to sexual intercourse and beyond. Say something 'wrong' to a woman and she's outta here. However, she feels like she has license to dump all her garbage on men. At least gay men are lucky that pu$$y has no power over them. Then again, they got their own issues to deal with! | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:26:31 PM | Okay, so here's the deal OP.
Get you a 20 year old foreign chick and move to Russia or the Philippines.
They got cheap housing, cheap wine, cheat booze, and cheap women.
No green card required to bring them there.
They don't have divorce, she will clean and cook, and she will do whatever you want, do it greedily and gratefully, and won't nag.
And if you are ever into little boys, girls, or underage prostitutes - they won't mind that there and turn their heads - especially in Thailand - the underage-sex-excursion capital in the world.
Problem solved.
So even an old ass bachelor like yourself can get the girl of your dreams.
So says these pathetic self-loathing american wanksters.
Good luck with that.
Invite me to your wedding and pay for my ticket. I could use a trip. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:18:36 PM |
nappykat: Okay, so here's the deal OP.
Get you a 20 year old foreign chick and move to Russia or the Philippines.
They got cheap housing, cheap wine, cheat booze, and cheap women.
No green card required to bring them there.
They don't have divorce, she will clean and cook, and she will do whatever you want, do it greedily and gratefully, and won't nag.
And if you are ever into little boys, girls, or underage prostitutes - they won't mind that there and turn their heads - especially in Thailand - the underage-sex-excursion capital in the world.
Problem solved.
Sounds like a plan to me! 
So even an old ass bachelor like yourself can get the girl of your dreams.
So says these pathetic self-loathing american wanksters.
Wow! I've never been called a "pathetic, self-loathing, American wankster" or anything like that by a foreign woman, not in English or in her own language. I see you call yourself a "feminist" in your profile. Good luck with "House" or "Half Nelson". Not sure they'd be into an obese 5'7", 250-lb woman of any race....
Good luck with that.
Invite me to your wedding and pay for my ticket. I could use a trip.
Pay for your ticket?!? That's another thing with American women. They feel entitled to whatever their heart desires just because they were born female. Forget about going out and getting a job and paying their own way. They want you to do it for them!!! Want a trip? Work and save up the money or stick to the herbs! | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:43:56 AM |
Not sure they'd be into an obese 5'7", 250-lb woman of any race....  Is that all you got mr-jonny-come-lately? I'm sorry you must got me mixed up with some pathetic insecure desperate loser chick that can't get a man and has to get two seats on a plane, bus, or roller coaster - because it's obvious you don't know what the hell 250 pounds looks like on this particular chick. Hint - it looks better on me than it does on you. And I work out. And I have a better attitude to boot! And I had pics up, too bad if you missed them.
And if I were you, I wouldn't try to down something on someone when I have the same 'issue' fat-ass.
If anyone has a sense of entitlement, it's you. Which is typical. 'Oh I can't get an american woman to put up with my bullshit and think I'm god's gift to women to so I will get a young foreign girl I can scare and mold into having me and and docile enough to do anything I say and not talk back and she won't leave me until I feel she's too old at 25 and I can get another young girl to take her place.'
Lord help the foreign women with these american predators. I feel for them. Speaking of herbs - you want some of mine? These women will need to be beat and drugged to get with with the likes of you!
And you say you have never been called names by a foreign woman. Apparently american women have had a lotta names for you then
you poor poor widdy baybee. did dose nassy amedican wimmen hurt yur iddy biddy feelins? need an foreigner to be your mummy and take care of you? good luck with that.
And you're on the wrong forum. You get started in foreign correspondence and go to the international forum. Or a mail order bride site. Or book one of those sex excisions to the Thailand or the Philippines pronto | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:03:12 AM | | well, unless you have the funds, you can write your own bill. i have some wealthy old geezer friends with girlfriends/wives in their 20s and they're in their 40s/50s. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:44:15 AM | ***To 16madison and justwanttoknow: that's all bs. Just because you may have found it easy to get into relationships and fall in love, you think it should be just the same for everybody else? I don't give a crap how long we've been on this earth or what we've been doing, there are no guarantees you'll meet that someone special...no guarantees at all. There are always things we can do to increase our chances, but there are no guarantees. I know lots of outgoing people who have never been married and and I can definitely tell you that they want to be. People who find it so easy and see the same with all of their friends live in a very narrow world. They don't realize that for a small percentage of people, things just don't happen, for whatever reason. Luckily I surround myself with people who don't think as you do. Commitment phobia,....ha, ha..not a chance. I LONG for commitment. Unrealistic expectations..uh, uh. I've been so attracted to some women (very close to my age, by the way), but they are not attracted to me. Getting married and falling in love can be very hard for some. You just don't live in a world where you see people struggle in this department so you put them down. Shame...****
Whoah there laktor223.....First of all, anytime you post you are going to get responses with people's opinions. Just because you don't like what they have to say doesn't mean you chastise them. Secondly, you are doing just what you are upset at them for doing in your responses to them, as well as your original post. The forums are meant for people to give opinions and respond to the OP. Don't come back and bring people down just because you don't like the response.
In defense of bachelors, sometimes i think they are bachelors at that age because they have been committed to their career, and time sneaks up on them. However, different people are attracted to different things, whether it be who they date, what car they buy, what food they eat....If everyone on the Earth was the same, and wanted the same things, what a boring world we would live in. However, people should not be looked down upon because they choose not to date someone older. We should be careful not to "lump" all women together in one group just because some fairly choose not to date an older bachelor. After all, we have different aspirations in life too, and we shouldn't have to sacrifice those to appease someone in OP's position. IMHO. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:54:57 AM | ***Of course, which is better? Someone who ends up being in a bad 15-year marriage, baggage, etc etc, or someone who dodged that bad situation and has been not married for 20 years?***
Not to put you particulary down confident, but this comment made me reflect on some other things along this same line that i've been reading in several forums....
Why do guys post forums asking how to get into a relationship/get married, how they are still bachelors etc., when they turn around and talk about lousy marriages and being bogged down in a marriage with kids, money, wife wanting sex when she wants something etc. If you all think marriage is so bad, why are you asking for help?
Just my 2 cents. Something i've been wondering. And you have to admit, it's a valid point. | |
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| Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:30:03 AM | *****Mr_SmartFun, I just read your profile. It's a good one. However, the only three things most women are going to look at are 1) the pictures, 2) how tall you are (5'11"), and 3) what you do for a living (The Movie Biz). With those you don't even need an in-depth profile! I'm sure a lot of women on this site take the initiative and contact you first. Am I wrong? At least from reading your profile I know you're not a dunce who only has a body, a face, or an exciting career going for him.******
oooooooo....is someone just a little bitter? You know, guys shouldn't bash us girls for not responding to emails or initiating contact on here, and assume it's because of looks. We ALL (male and female) are looking at personalities, interests, etc. as well. You can be attracted or not to someone physically, but in all honesty it boils down to how well you get along with someone as to whether it lasts.
And now I need to vent. I am tired of you guys implying on ALL these forums that women are totally responsible for the bad stuff in marriages and making us look like we are just out for money and to get everything from you through the divorce. For a marriage to end in divorce isn't always one-sided. Are you telling me that you all aren't partly at fault sometimes? IMHO. | |
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