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| | Why do girls go for a**holes?Page 6 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) |
If not, look for girls who are not out on Friday and Saturday nights. Look for them in places like libraries, coffee shops, etc,.
And the computer! ;) | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 8/2/2005 9:01:03 AM |
And the computer! ;)
Sure, why not? I have discovered that the best girls are the ones who are half way decent. You will find the caricature of dumb blonde bimbos on POF as well as anywhere else. | |
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Nobody
| | Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 128 | |
| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 8/2/2005 3:40:53 PM | | I think it may be kind of like why nice guy's who bend over backwards sacrificing their own needs fall in with abusive women, who treat them like dirt, and take them to town for every cent they have. Some of the characteristics of the generic abusive man stereotype are attractive to some women. We tend not to notice those characteristics when they are blended in a guy who detests violence against women. In that case the natural and positive male aggressive instincts are to protect and shelter, and are directed towards goodness, and as such seem so natural and harmonious that it is (perhaps unfortunately) hardly worth noticing. Maybe its that violence in a relationship is such a perversion of normalcy and that abusive men find abused women so much more often then not, that it seems so unfair, that it sticks out all the more. The other thing is I guess that just because a guy seems like an a$$ hole to most of the world does not mean that he is one to his chosen partner. A girl once told me she wanted a guy who was as aggressive with the world as he was gentle with her. i don't really know, just my opinion I guess... | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 8/2/2005 5:19:49 PM | | Girls love men butt naked. Maybe they go for what they have in common with men. Yes, that's it. Eureka dude! | |
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Nobody
| | Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 132 | |
| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 8/3/2005 12:59:08 PM | Maybe your confusing personality problems with sexual experience. You wouldn't be the first women, however I do tend to notice most women discover the difference sometime in their early 20's; if not earlier these days, am I wrong or do they just keep getting smarter and smarter young women, what are they putting in the milk, these days? I am a nice guy who has no problem picking up women (at least sane ones, I have trouble with the crazy ones I admit), and they stay for more then just personality...
My favorite detail about this argument (often goes unnoticed) is how often nice guy's steal girls from a$$holes, and generally friends are so happy for the girl, they tend not to even to notice. But when an a$$ steals a good guy's lady every one see's what a shame it is right away. I know I have been the other man, and the good guy, and they are different, trust me.
I guess it has to do with how much respect you have for yourself...
I'm not trying to say you cannot pick up women by being an aggressive mocking arrogant alpha male faker of a clown, because i know you can, it can be a fun act; Plenty of good male friends of mine do that pretty much every weekend, and it can be funny to watch actually. In fact I can give you one of their phone numbers if you want it, their always looking for easy chicks to play games with...
I think eventually a guy realizes he wants a girl he doesn't have to be mean to all the time, for her to hang around him. How many male friends have confided in me they wished they could tell their girlfriend how much they care about her but they don't think the girl will have the self-esteem to be able to take it? Lots of male friends have said that to me, some complain about it all the time. So they move onto another girl, viscous circle that can be...
Am I right or wrong there fellas? | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 10/29/2005 2:59:59 PM | Ah ha..I've read through ALL these replies and no one has said it..so I am going to..has it ever occured to anyone that maybe ***holes are ***holes cause they've been treated poorly by an ***hole?? ..lol..I mean, I have been out in the bar, or a restaurant and watched some poor guy get a new one ripped by his old lady..and I mean RIPPED..lol.did it ever occur to us complaining, ****ing and "he's such an ***hole" ladies that it's our sisters who are contributing to men being this way? (vice versa..women can be ***holes too!!) I've met plenty of genuine nice guys who date THAT girl who uses sex and ****y ways to control his life..soon, he too has joined the ranks of ***holes roaming the world...wouldn't you after being manipulated and forced into everything you previously enjoyed?? It's all about finding a perfect babance..now, there is a point when there is too much assholism..you know them, I know them..they were just born to be mean...but, there are also converted nice guys who have ***hole written on the cover, but have a really good guy story inside..a little bit of positive and productive assholism is desired..who wants a relationship with a complete pushover???? I'm an ***hole and proud of it. I will ALWAYS treat people well, until the situation calls for the ***hole to bust out some moves..(and if standing up for myself, getting what I want, and being a strong, INDEPENDENT person calls for a wee bit o' ***hole..then SO BE IT...prepare to be ***holed all over this place..lmao..)
I'm sure a whole lot of you will disagree..hey, send forth your reply..cause picking on what I say might make you realize you can be an A-HOLE too....ha ha... | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 10/29/2005 3:15:48 PM | | logic implies that the only reason has to be the smell! well, unless they have a strapon. LOL | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 10/29/2005 3:41:29 PM | | Why does this thread keep coming up all the time in various formats . Dudes it's just the way it is already . It's just the way it is !!! Find a way to deal with it . Make it work for you . | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 10/29/2005 4:49:16 PM | >Personally, I feel sorry for women because they end up with the exact opposite of what they need.<
And perfectly nice guys, that a have much to show for end up completely alone. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/8/2005 7:46:11 PM | Guess what, this is my first post here. And I decided to create a new account just so I can post this, since I know this will cause problems for most women I want to meet here. Pathetic, isn’t it?
From my own experiences there is CERTAINLY a trend where women are attracted to the type of men they end up regretting. It confused me for a long time, and actually caused me a lot of agony. I watched a few of the players have sex with almost all the hot women in town, and could not believe what I saw. I would have bet money that some of them would of rejected these guys, but even the smart good girls fell for it, KNOWING the players had already has sex with their friends. It was an absolutely amazing eye opener. Thankfully these guys were my friends, so I have the ability to observe their behavior. I never would have thought acting like that would work, but it certainly did. From that point on, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why. I even went out of my way to take a class in college that covered evolution, and switched psychology classes, JUST to try to better understand this issue. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like unsolved mysteries, I like to understand things, I’m an engineer. For those of you that know psychology, on they Meyers-Brigs personality type index, I’m an INTJ.
If you’ve ever watched the discovery channel, and seen something like the mating habits of birds, where a small percentage of the males have sex with all the females, because they sing and dance just right, well, the same thing happens with humans. Unless you are willing to accept that we are a part of the animal kingdom and act the same way, this explanation will never make sense to you.
I believe I now understand. I took the scientific perspective to understand this, because it was all that made no sense to me, and I really wanted to understand why women do this. I’d talk to women about it, and came to the conclusion that even they don’t know why they do what they do. The ONLY explanation that made sense was the scientific one. Basically, in my opinion, it boils down evolution theory. Women are genetically programmed to be attracted to certain types of men, and vice versa. Strong, healthy, and somewhat aggressive men are desired because they are the survivors. I don’t want to bore all of you with the details, but to understand this you need to assume we are living in the primate tribal caveman days. The older man is desirable because he’s survived. The strong man (not talking about muscles here, but mentality) is desirable because that’s what survives. The confident man is desirable because winners become confident, and losers do not. It’s all about survival in the caveman days. In the last 10,000 years our DNA hasn’t changed, we’re just modern cavemen. I won’t go into the explanations of why men are attracted to young women with certain features, because this message is about women, but guys we are programmed too.
Women (and men) do not intellectually rationalize who they are attracted to. Instead, it’s the deep primitive parts of our brains that decides for us who we are attracted to. Guys, you must understand that your goal is to turn on that primate part of a woman’s mind without getting rejected by the intellectual part. THAT’s the overall strategy.
Nice guys give women the vibe that they are weak, and weakness is undesirable, so women are genetically programmed to reject (or take advantage of) nice guys. Women are programmed to be attracted to strong men, and strong men are confident, and confident men can be a**holes because they are not punished for it. Think of a Viking. Is he a nice guy? Nope. Is a nerd a nice guy? Yup. Back in the caveman days, who would survive, the Viking or the nerd? Think about it. Now think of the theory of natural selection, specifically sexual selection. Read about it you want.
I don’t think I’m doing the best job of explaining this, but hopefully this is enough to quell the confusion you guys feel. I’m not saying that will fix the problems, but for myself I just HAD to understand why women do this.
From my own experiences I’ve noticed that many women eventually realize the bad boys are not the ones they want to marry, so they end up marrying a nice guy, but some of these women also end up cheating on them, because they are still attracted to the bad guys. Many women know they don’t want to marry a bad boy even when they’re as young as 16 years old. But they still date them, they still spend time with them, they still have sex with them, while the nice guys sit at home watching TV feeling sorry for themselves.
I’ve been in the same position as all of you guys, and still end up in that same position sometimes. Without a doubt I know that if you treat an average women too well she will lose interest. I highly recommend that you CONSTANTLY adjust your strategy, ALWAYS experiment with new methods. This is no different than anything else in life. If you are failing at work or in school or on any other endeavor you will make adjustments, but for some reason when it comes to women lots of us guys just keep banging our heads into the wall over and over again. I wasted 10 years to this problem, it caused me so much grief I expected an ulcer. I was ready to shoot some of the scumbags who had sex with all the women who rejected me. The ONLY women that can even come close to understanding are the ugly ones who have been rejected by most men, beyond that don’t even waste your time talking about this issue with most women. In my opinion, intellectual women who are interested in human behavior are great to talk to, but they are rare. To this day, my own mother still tells me the same crap she did when I was a kid “be very kind to women, treat them very very well”... (what a crock of sh*t)
Accept the fact that it’s one big game, and if you use the same strategy over and over and you fail most of the time, then obviously you are using the wrong strategy. At this point you must either accept defeat and jerk off for the rest of your life and be lonely, or be flexible. I had the mental ability to figure this out when I was in my 20’s, but instead I staying in denial.
Convince yourself before you go on a date that you don’t care about the outcome. Yeah, easier said than done, but still try. Make it your routine, then it will become a (good) habit. When women “smell” confidence, they are going to be more attracted to you. This does not mean you should be a jerk, but instead you should give the vibe that you are out to have fun and could really care less if she’s interested or not. If you appear to be trying to hard, they are turned off. The old saying of “women want what they can’t have” does have a lot of truth to it. If a woman thinks she can have you with no effort, then she’s automatically not interested, even if you are the ideal man for her. Remember, this isn’t an intellectual thing, it’s all primal.
Also, be very weary of older women who have a history of going for players. Don’t hesitate to ask about their previous boyfriends, when the time is right. And for god sakes, don’t be stupid enough to think you can change somebody, because you can’t. If you find a hot/intelligent/fun/whatever woman who says she wants to settle down, but has a history of only dating losers, I recommend not having a serious relationship with her, you’re only asking for trouble. I’ve had 2 of those types of women from my past, both of who rejected me and screwed the players, then got played, start eyeing me for a husband in the last few years. Know what I did? I acted partly interested, met them for lunch, acted somewhat interested in their lives, got them to talk about whatever they seemed interested in talking about, and contacted them a week or so later. I ended up dating both of them, having sex with both of them as much as I could, then refusing to get into a relationship with either one of them. I waited until they figured it out, and let them “dump” me. And I have to admit, it was the most rewarding feeling in the world. Now let me also say I still get rejected a lot, so don’t think I’m some Don Juan or anything. But deep down inside, I admit I wanted revenge, and I got it, and damn it felt good.
I hope the time I’ve spent typing this wasn’t a waste. I wish I had some guys set me straight years ago. Also, I live in Southern California, on the coast, in a somewhat rich area. Many women here are very stuck up and really try to run with the herd, they are more interested in what their friends think than what they themselves think. It’s pathetic. Many men are the same way here. I’ve been in Northern California, and noticed the women are much less stuck up and act more like themselves, but the same rules still apply. I mention this because I’m convinced that if I had grown up elsewhere, I would not have dealt with half as much agony over women. The weather is good here, but so many of the people here are a**holes that I’m eventually going to move, that plus the high real estate costs. | |
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dcx10
| | Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 140 | |
| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/8/2005 8:00:25 PM | I thought this topics has been done many many times before?
I think love is an S&M game. So you are either a Sadist or a Masochist in a relationship.
An observation, this phenomenon (women loving a**holes) is only true in the west. (Western women have been brain-washed into being masochists.  ) Women love nice guys in Asia (or China at least) | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/8/2005 8:31:00 PM | "You need 'Anchor Arms!' I was a puny wimp. Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me!"
Great post temp-account (if that's your real name!). A lot of information that I think pretty much nails it, no pun intended. Maybe I can paraphrase it, though-
It really does take a lot of confidence to pull of being an a$$hole. I think that often times the two can be confused and realized, when it's too late. Sometimes being an a$$hole is just being an a$$hole, especially when it stems from bitterness. Being confident is the key, here not being an a$$hole. There will always be that group of people who get what they want from practicing a certain behavior. If it ain't broke don't fix it! But look a around a little more. When you look beyond the loud mouth assclown that apparently has the attention of everyone in the room, there is almost always someone one else that has the undivided attention of a smaller group of people. He (or she) exudes a confidence that stems from intelligence, charisma and being the kind of person that other people want to be around, not treating people like crap. That who I want to be! Who am I kidding! That's who I am! Seriously, though, confidence comes from different places. Find your confidence and revel in it! I hate cliches more than anyone, but you've got roll with the punches, learn from your mistakes and move on with life. You can also find solice in the fact that Karma Is A B*i*t*c*h!
Hope I didn't stray too far of the OP!
TREV | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/9/2005 11:57:37 AM | This is an easy question
The reason some girls go for a**holes.......
Some women are also a**holes, so they are more comfortable with someone on thier level.
next question | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/10/2005 12:16:15 AM | First of all I would have to say that your observation isn't viable. I do sometimes see women with jerks, but just as often I see beautiful nice moral people finding each other. The world is full of many types of people and lots of times the evil ones find other evil people ie; birds of a feather flock together. People tend to gravitate to their equal bad, good or whatever.
Lots of times beautiful women are the most evil and just as many times pretty average women are beautiful, so what I am saying is that just by observation alone, you can't really make a judgement call. They might be beautiful on the outside (and be ugly inside), so that may be why they pick or choose a jerk. In other words they probably aren't beautiful iniside.
Nothing in life is black and white..........the world is full with gray. Tracy (buccaneer38) | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:24:24 AM | Lots of times beautiful women are the most evil
I'm sure there is a scientific survey to back this...
I have some beautiful female friends, I better get away from those evil women. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:41:57 AM | You're all pretty much right, but I do have to add that it doesn't get much better as you get older. The same women/men are pretty much a'holes for life. I believe that ppl who are attracted to those types have no self esteem & do not realize who they until it's too late. The saying is true "nice guys/gals finish last", and it's unfortunate. I just read a good saying this morning on someone's profile here "if you keep doing the same thing, don't expect different results". So "NICE" people, stop being nice to the wrong people, and get on with your lives with the right ones who deserve your attention. GOOD LUCK  | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:47:10 AM | I agree, nice people do not finish last because they are nice, that's ridiculous. But a lot of people prefer to think that is the reason because it's easier on the ego.
A lot of people male and female, finish last because of bad choices they make. | |
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 149 | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/10/2005 10:04:01 AM | OP: That's just the way it is, women will never change... granted feminism is backfiring on them, so most of them are kind of pissed off. LOL.
I am sure we have all seen the total loser of a guy with a really hot babe, and have wondered why in the h*ll she's with him. It's because he treats her like sh*t, and she loves it. It really works! Stop treating them like queens and start treating them like ho's. Not only will you get the hot babes, but you will also gain their respect. Trust me on this one. | |
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