| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/4/2008 5:41:24 PM | They don't really. They simply don't go for guys they can walk all over. Being funny but not a pushover is the way to go. If you're desperate then you're a nice guy who will try and be a pet. "***holes" or rather most guys that are confident aren't going to be desperate and are not going to be a pushover and will push back or walk away.
Girls do not want someone they look down on. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:06:16 AM | OP-
Perhaps it's because some women prefer an a$$hole than the whole a$$?! Honestly, when some folks fall in love we unintentionally put up blinders to their faults, because all we can see is the GOOD things in the person, even if it's overshadowed by some bad traits. No one can predict how a relationship will unfold, but I'd like to believe we all enter into relationships hoping for the best...good, bad or indifferent.
Maybe it is simply what one person has become accustom to, so therefore, they see nothing wrong with the 'bad boy' stereotypes--vs the 'good guy' stereotypes. My mother always told me that I was a 'bum magnet' but in my mind any person I was interested in had certain qualities I found attractive, but to others, like my mother, they weren't good enough for me.
The best you can do is be true to yourself and hope you will find someone who compliments your life. No one is perfect, so either accept them for who they are or find someone who is better suited for you. Simplistic I suppose, but it makes sense. | |
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| Summary Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/5/2008 9:45:06 PM | | Sometimes I think some women have only ever been treated poorly and that's all they know and are comfortable with. Someone treats them nice and they wonder why. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/5/2008 9:59:46 PM | yep! you are so right i have seen these cases so many times. and i just think came to the conclusion that, most girls are just waiting for a miracle, expecting the guy to change. Ladies… make yourself a favor and don’t let this happen to you and if for some reason you still do, don’t blame the guy for being such a jerk. Cuz is not his fault is yours. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/5/2008 10:16:07 PM | It'd be presumptuous to offer dating advice, so this is just a social comment.
Doesn't it make sense that men & women act like a$$holes because those are the values society rewards? Get ahead - profit - at any price. Forget about your neighbours: cheat, steal $700 billion and even go to war if you have to, just get what you want. Why wouldn't this be reflected in our personal relations?
Likewise, those people who, for whatever reason, can't 'cut it' - because they've been damaged at an early age, or because they find those values repugnant - are going to be ridiculed as 'nice'. Being caring and respectful translates into being wimpy, passive, a pushover. Worse, having absorbed these values from birth, they'll feel deficient & be attracted to the powerful - and get abused.
If this is true, doesn't it also make sense that we'll only learn to treat each other better, when we resist winner-take-all values, in our personal lives and as a society? | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 11:04:17 AM | Women are NOT all shallow and go after hot party boys and money. Maybe start looking in the right places and you won't have such a hard time finding the right woman.
Try to be yourself instead of who you think someone else wants you to be. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 11:36:16 AM | I personally dont think girls go for A$$holes, or jerks, as some prefer to call them. Here is my take on it. Girls go for confidence and strength. And every girl needs a different kind of confidence and strength coming from a man. When she finds it in someone, she goes for him. The problem arises NOT with women, but with us men that we turn into jerks because we are genetically predisposed to taking things for granted. We become complacent, lazy, presumptuous, and apathetic. And it manifests itself into our actions in daily lives, AND in our conduct with women, evident to anyone who cares to see.
However, the strength and confidence such men exude and bring to the relationship are so important to the woman that she is sometimes unable to see past them. Nothing else matters, until a woman begins to lose respect for her man. Everyone looks for things that we lack, in another. Its a simple fact of life. Men and women view and approach many things differently. When you see a jerk in a relationship with a wholesome woman, you are inclined to think that she went for him because he is like that. Not so. She went for him due to his good qualities, even if he is not pleasing to look at. Looks matter a lot, as they should. But they do not make you stick together.
Another thing that we need to recognize is this wrong notion of being "yourself". To me, 'be yourself' is an excuse for 'stay the way you are' - do not improve. Our true good self is hidden under the rubble of our lazy, messy, selfish personalities. It is hard to bring it out since there is so much else that makes up the iron curtain hiding it all. The real thing is not to show all your dirty laundry out to others, but to dig deep into yourself and bring out that shiny nugget that we all are deep inside. That is the real self and that is what we must stay true to. And you do this by cleaning the rubble that covers it all - IMPROVE YOURSELF. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 11:53:02 AM | yeah you're right, all females are stupid as hell and not worth your time
...feel better now?
(btw. note what you, yourself, has said - you ask because of your current situation - it's pertinent to You, to Your situation - to that particular woman you're with... and maybe she just likes his personality better, or he touches her more deeply (not just physically either ;))...could be a myriad of reasons, but i really don't think, that unless she's a masochist, with some psychological kinks, that it's because she wants to be treated badly...) | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 12:42:04 PM | My guess OP...because women have been b*tching at men for so long now to be sensitive and open to the point men are getting a bit soft, and now the Nagger's are realizing they really want a MAN to be a MAN.
Just a thought. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 1:17:35 PM | Girls don't know they're a-holes at first.
A-holes as a group, tend to be lovely when you first meet them (usually for the first 3 months or so), and so you get attached. When they're attention starts to wane, you care too much to just leave them, and they throw you the odd gesture of affection that suggests they care too.
It's a sort of very subtle emotional blackmail. The guys that are good at it don't even notice they're doing it themselves.
And I know all this because I've wasted my precious time on these idiots. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/13/2008 4:06:50 PM | I think steph7393 has got the rights of it. I've only had one relationship with an a-hole. He was immensley charming and atentive when I first started going out with him. I thought he was a really really nice guy. It was only later, when I'd moved in with him, that I saw the other side. And even then he was very manipulative and would be charming some of the time to try to keep me off balance. I've never repeated the experience, I can recognise the manipulative types now and my subsequent relationships have been with nice men. But some women don't really learn how to recognise the a-hole and are taken in by the initial charm. It isn't that they don't want a nice man - it's that they mistake the a-hole for one.
But the majority of nice men who are reasonably confident do get nice women. And they get married and stay that way. Which is why you don't find too many of them on dating sites - and when they do appear they get snapped up quickly.
And as for nice men who feel they lose out because women always go for the a-holes - the problem is usually that they are the ones who have no idea how to behave around women. Many of them can't talk to women. When I first met my second husband he spent a long time telling me about the construction of railway bridges. Did he really think I was going to be interested in that? Other nice men of my acquaintance seem completely incapable of holding a rational conversation with a woman they find attractive. Often nice men don't listen to women - they give the woman what they think she wants without hearing what she is saying about what she wants. so it is hardly surprising that they get it all wrong. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/16/2008 6:18:17 AM | I think I go for a**holes because of the challenge.
I usually get hurt in the end, so I think it's time to change it up a bit. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/16/2008 7:01:02 AM | | here we go again.... You don't treat them like shit nor you be way nice. There has to be a balance. And for the record if most females like ya wouldn't go treating someone they're interested in like shit unless you treat them back the same way. Don't always reserve yourself to talking to just one female, you never know that female might not be your match so you're best bet is to TALK to many before finding out which lady is for you. | |
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| Why do girls go for a**holes?
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:47:40 AM | | My question to you is this, why do guys think that they are hotter than they are? I look at profiles on here, and the guys are like "looking for the one, must be sweet and nice.....then they act like they are too good looking for you....thats probably why girls get sick of the BS on here in general! | |
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Renda
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Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 190 | |
| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:58:36 AM | | I just think we want what we cannot have. Same goes for men I guess. It is the challenge. | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/17/2008 6:36:41 AM | | women that go for bad boys are those that have a lack of confidence in themselves, and have low esteem, ....that would be my first though | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/19/2008 6:00:08 AM | "Bad boys" seem to have a bit of a reputation for being "aloha" types...until they actually hit problems, or run up against a real male...women like that first imression. Of course women thnk "I can change him!" thinking they will old him into the type of partner they would actually like to have...but not knowing that a person doesn't change for someone else, they ALWAYS change for themsleves. Besides...the women accepted these guys just the way they are, therefore they do not feel any need to change.
So, these women get exactly what they wanted...a "boy".
MFP...we don't...remember, that in some people's opinions, those same "b*tch*s" are actually good people...some are nice, have values that are compatible, etc, etc. If some are really mean, maybe the guy likes being controlled a bit and is actually looking for "mommy". (mmm...booobs...it does have its points!)
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/19/2008 5:29:50 PM |
MFP...we don't..
Of course you do. The same type of women that go for bad boys is the same type of men who go for btches.These "people" have issues with not knowing how to accept or that they are even deserving of kind, decent and loving treatment. Let me change around what you said because really it applies to these type of severely dysfunctional people of both sexes.
"Bad girls" seem to have a bit of a reputation for being "aloha" types...until they actually hit problems, or run up against a real woman ...men like that first impression. Of course men think "I can change her!" thinking they will mold her into the type of partner they would actually like to have...but not knowing that a person doesn't change for someone else, they ALWAYS change for themselves. Besides...the men accepted these women just the way they are, therefore they do not feel any need to change.
So, these men get exactly what they wanted...a "girl". | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:19:58 AM | "Why is it when a guy treats a girl like sh*t, she stays with him, but when a guy treats her like a queen, she leaves?"
Because in her mind, no-one would treat her nicely, unless he is a doormat.
Score 500 for low self-esteem. | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:16:57 PM | | Because being an ***hole can be mistaken for strength by women who don't know any better. | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:33:07 AM | Perhap because bad boys are not alway a jerk as the rejected person want to think. Is common to make person with the woman you want into a villian when they true is they are a great person.
Is true that people can date bad people but the opinion of a broken heart person is not alway the best. | |
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| Why Do girls go for Bad Boys
Posted: 1/26/2009 4:23:29 AM | Hi-ho Shawn,
Vertical Horizon had a great song (IMHO) a few years back called "Everything You Want" that captured the Bad Boy phenom perfectly. As my wife at the time said, "it is a chick song."
Yes, she shortly thereafter took off with a Bad Boy(tm).
LoL
Then, as a single dad, I had one daughter that loved the nice, nerdy, clean shaven types, and one daughter that adored the Bad Boys with all the drama, lying, and eventually physical abuse.
It is what it is. I cannot explain it, but I disregard it at my own peril.
My wife was a psychologist, and she said that the Bad Boy phenom might be a biological thing. The thugs, playas, and cheatas might be viewed as more powerful and virile by the ladies.
Take care,
Brian | |
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