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| Contemplating lifetime estrangement from parents? advice
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:06:43 PM | | Hearing stories like this makes me realize how lucky I am. I had it good and I still took a break from my folks for a time. It's part of asserting your independence and part of exploring your own psyche. Take a walk for a time. Don't burn any bridges though, you might want to reestablish those relationships when you are older. | |
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| Contemplating lifetime estrangement from parents? advice
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:23:17 PM | It's more important that you do what you need to be happy...if that means breaking contact with your parents, do so. Some people will say that blood is thicker than water, you should love unconditionally and many other lovely platitudes. There are some circumstances in my own family (basically everyone except my mom) that have caused me to break contact with them permanently....sure I would rather have an extended family that I can talk to and know well, but they have done some things and committed some wrongs that are so terrible there is no way to repair the damage done, and so I choose not to acknowledge them as my family...sure I have some good memories, and don't let the bad things make me bitter, but there is just no way to let certain things slide.
You can always try to "build" a family...great friends can replace in our hearts (or at least fill the void) left behind when someone is no longer in our lives. Focus on the positive relationships in your life, making them stronger, and keeping them strong. Use them to lean on in hard times, share the good times with them...IMO great friends can be better than family, because we choose to be friends with people, but we don't always get to choose our families.
Best of luck to you, stay strong | |
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| Contemplating lifetime estrangement from parents? advice
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:07:10 PM | I am sorry to read of your economic circumstance....on its own a pretty depressing matter. The other part is of your parents....I get you. But my view on this matter is that moving on is pretty hard when there's no forgiveness on your part. I say forgiveness not so much in a religious sense...forgiving is more to do with the forgiver than the forgiv-ee...repentant or not.
Not a day goes by when I don't think of my adoptive mother who passed away some years back....whom I love tremendously....my heart aches every time I think of her and the opportunities I squandered in not spending enough time with her when she was around. There is a direct correlation for my love for that woman that made me love my own biological mother ever since.
People make mistakes...some mistakes make this world hell-ish to live in, while in most instances, the most beautiful, important mistakes had to be made. This world would have been denied incredible people, inventions, thinking, art had pure logic prevailed.
Look, I'm not going to give you pap...but for your own sanity, forgive the buggers. | |
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